Rewatching Classic Doctor Who, some episodes I haven't seen in years, some of the animated reconstructions I haven't seen at all.
The Romans AKA Serial M
David Whitaker, Doctor Who's first script editor (vaguely equivalent to the modern 'show runner' in some respects but also not really in others), was sick of historicals. And to be fair, Marco Polo and The Reign of Terror (and the Tribe of Gum) were, despite their lavish production value, the weakest stories of Season 1. In my opinion, anyway. Verity Lambert convinced him and writer Dennis Spooner to take a more light hearted tone with this one and, with some influence from Carry On Cleo (and maybe a nod toward sword-and-sandal epics like Spartacus), turned in a lovely, breezy pastiche of Roman times. It gets called a 'comedy' fairly often but there's really only a few heavily slapstick moments in between the human trafficking, murder, assassination plots, arson, and sexual harassment. Ok, the sexual harassment is also a slapstick 'comedy' moment. It was the 60's.
To recap: The TARDIS lands and promptly falls off a cliff.
One month later, the TARDIS crew is squatting in a Roman villa while the owner is off campaigning in Gaul. Ian and Barbara are enjoying lounging around post-coitally, blissed out on wine, flirting constantly. Vicki, however, is restless and wants to see history. The Doctor departs with her to visit Rome, leaving Barbara to mommy domme Ian into a new hairstyle.
The Doctor and Vicki discover the corpse of a lyre player and The Doctor steals his identity and gets swept off to court of Nero, as one does. Ian and Barbara suffer a home invasion, during which Barbara smashes a vase over Ian's head and gets them both trafficked into slavery. Ian gets sent a galley crew and Barbara gets sold into Nero's court. Vicki and The Doctor just miss seeing Barbara get sold into slavery as they arrive in Rome, setting up the most amusing running gag of the serial. Ian gets shipwrecked and escapes. The Doctor, meanwhile, has to keep flattering Nero to keep from having to admit that he can't actually play the lyre. It becomes clear that the person that The Doctor is impersonating has some kind of mysterious task or mission. Nero, of course, has taken a shine to Barbara (who wouldn't?) and has decided to chase her around the palace like fucking Benny Hill. Vicki befriends the court poisoner and accidentally saves Barbara from poisoning by Nero's jealous wife by almost poisoning Nero instead. The Doctor gives her the standard lecture about changing history and then saves Nero's life. The poisoner takes the fall for Barbara's survival. The Doctor pretends to play music that only the most refined can hear (an idea he once loaned to Hans Christian Anderson) to once again get out of playing the lyre. However, Nero is preparing to kill him out of jealousy.
But first, sports. Ian and his friend have gotten themselves recaptured and sent to gladiator school. And they have been chosen to fight to the death in front of Nero. And Barbara, but that's not important right now. Ian loses but his friend doesn't kill him and attacks Nero instead. They escape. But Nero sets a trap for Ian with Barbara as bait. The Doctor (and Vicki) are informed that Nero plans to kill The Doctor but when The Doctor accidentally sets Nero's schematics for a new Rome on fire... well... Inspiration strikes. Nero goes off to burn down Rome and in the chaos Ian and Barbara reunite and escape. Vicki tells The Doctor off for changing history by inspiring the Fire of Rome.. but that wasn't really a change if it always happened anyway? Ian and Barbara return to the villa, get changed, and pass out. The Doctor and Vicki return and The Doctor chastises them for idleness and won't hear a word of explanation as he decides it is time to depart.
The story hits the gas pedal and doesn't let up. The two parallel plots are well structured and well paced. If they slowed down at all, the whole thing would fall apart under it's own weight. All the essential Roman elements are present.. weird food, galley slaves, statues, saunas, centurions, mad emperors, gladiators. The history is.. ok? By AD 64 (when the story was set) Nero was known for his strange behavior, being susceptible to flattery, and violent temperament. His wife Poppaea Sabina was apparently a bit of schemer, and may have been the sort to poison a slave girl. Anyway, no one really knows how or why the Fire of Rome started. Most of the history we have of Nero was written by people who may have been biased. Even more biased than most historians, I mean. Anyway, it's a fun little Cliff Notes version of history that works a lot better than the longer, more slowly paced dramatic historicals that preceded it. No coincidence that the shorter, more action oriented The Aztecs is easily the best historical so far, with The Romans close behind.
Next up: The Web Planet (but not the Web of Fear)
