#serfino

And that is Serfino’s whole mood. The minute someone comes down into the Underworld and the Planes of Eternal Flame trying to make a deal with him only to be a freaky creep-o (like some 34 year old guy wanting the marriage hand and love of a 14 year old in exchange for service to Serfino) they get thrown into the general population that is Hell’s Jail where you will be stabbed a bunch of times.

I had to redo the entire thing, but here it is, The Inverted Pantheon Calendar before the year is out so we can start 2021 with new astrological signs because maybe that’s what we need to change to fix up the year’s juju. Because apparently blaming our actions on being a Scorpio isn’t an acceptable excuse anymore.

How to figure out your sign-

1-Take the year you were born. For example, 1996 (my birth year.)

2-If your Birth year ends in a Odd Number, your sign is that of a Patron (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, etc.). If your Birth year ends in an Even Number, your sign is a god (2, 4, 6, 8, etc.) So for 1996, the end number is 6, which is a god.

3-Apply your birth month to the calendar. so for December 1996-that would be Ivo, the God of Space.

4-Blame your personal problems and unattractive flaws on being born under that sign

but the most mundane is just a pair of trick handcuffs, like the kind you get in a little kid’s magician’s kit that has a lever that’ll undo the cuffs. And the party can scratch their heads for a while because everything from the box has been fantastical and worth something, but this is just a cheap pair of ‘broke handcuffs’ and if the person examining it rolls high enough-they’ll notice it’s actually a brand name engraved on it is the phrase ‘What Yvonne Did’

Cut to the party going to town, someone eventually will ask about it and be directed to a store called ‘What Yvonne Did’

It’s a high end sex shop. The cuffs are actually worth a pretty penny if you want to sell it back to the store because if you rub off the blackish paint on it, you’ll find they’re made out of gold.

The Patron Master of Hell gifted you. A pair of trick sex hand cuffs. That he painted black to disguise the fact they’re made out of gold.

Patron of Hell, Demons and Wardens, Serfino

Serfino is immediately what every fearful mortal thinks of when you bring up 'Warlock Patron'. Demonic, twisted, evil, his image is what is dredged up to propagate against Warlocks and those in the pursuit of Warlockhood. Serfino is often depicted as a giant horrifying demon of flaming hair and a thousand and one teeth with multiple heads. With a lust for torture and pain, his one true purpose is to drag the righteous approved deity fearing folks down into his domain to mutilate for his pleasure.

Serfino is actually the equivalent of an over worked, perpetually exhausted Warden of a jail he never wanted that's just as horribly understaffed. Hell, The Underworld, The Abyss, The Burning Planes of Eternal Pain-whatever mortal culture wants to call it, is actually an elaborate prison for evil. True evil that has no right or purpose to be in the mortal plane-evil that will inhabit mortals and spark in their minds to do terrible things. It is Serfino's job to monitor this place dutifully and make sure that wickedness STAYS down there and that those who are in need of punishment and to purge their sins are cleansed correctly so their soul can reenter the reincarnation cycle of this world. However, because it's such a massive chaotic place and so understaffed, leaks and 'prison breaks' often happen resulting in evil escaping and entering the mortal realm.

That is where Serfino's Warlocks come in. Acting as dutiful hellish bounty hunters, they seek out evil and drag it back to hell-sort of like Ghost Rider or Hell Raiser, depending. Serfino's Warlocks are the most feared and crowds often part the way as they are always Warlocks on a mission-for in exchange for serving Serfino, Serfino can purify their soul bit by bit, eliminating past transgressions providing they are not too heinous and ensure their entrance into an afterlife. Some Warlocks simply serve him because they enjoy the aesthetics of the job. Some are rather disappointed with how 'plain' Serfino dresses and appears compared to the illustrations given him-but he is still regarded as -ahem-one of the more fuckable Patrons. And because of this sort of, well, the Tiefling race can trace it's orgins back to Serfino in various trysts Serfino has had with mortals. It's believed the reason why he wears a collar and cuffs with hooks to attach chains to is that it is a symbol for how trapped and chained down he is to this duty thrust upon him.

Serfino is credited for penning numerous grimores and demonic texts used in magic. Theses books are rare and hard to find because Gundrunists are often fervent about burning them as they are 'evil'. This doesn't seem to stop him from giving his Warlocks access to copies of these books to spread and make use of. Serfino also penned a magic book what he jokingly called 'The Patron Phonebook' as it is a concise guide and instructional manual for how to serve the Patrons correctly, how to contact them with little problem, rituals and incantations to enhance the bond between Patron and Warlock. There are currently only 5 of these books left in the world found in the largest of temples to all the Patrons-much similar to how there are there are temples to all the gods for equal opportunity worship (the temples to the Patrons are often found BENEATH the temple to the gods, kept behind lock and key.) Serfino is often referred to as the Patron of Authors and Forbidden Knowledge. Warlocks who please him and crave knowledge get access to his personal private library.

Serfino is unfortunately bored with many things-and considers his job his own personalized hell. Because of how repetitive his job is day in and day out, he craves change that never comes. Although he is productive and sociable; if Serfino were a mortal examined by a health professional they would find that his level of Apathy would borderline as a early sign of Depression. And the idea of a deity whose one job is to make sure evil doesn't escape into the world embracing the idea that it doesn't care if it's alive or not is terrifying. He frequently tries to find new indulgences to amuse himself with; ranging from playing games, music or sex.

There actually is mythology behind it; Here’s the short of it.

Delilah shot Delor with one of her magic arrows as prank to make them fall in love with one of the gods; which ended up being the god of Peace, Tybylt.

Tybylt, despite being a peaceful god, is a very aggressive and quick to anger god when it comes to his personal peace being disrupted and a giant misfortune god, doting and showering him with attention and affections was ruining that.

There is no known day for Delor’s child. It is noted that on one specific day of the year always within the month that falls into Delor/Prospero’s jurisdiction, the rain falls exceptionally hard and long all day long.

Despite it taking a day away from everyone with it being impossible to do anything outside, the following week is the most fertile of days for planting-as the rivers swell with the rain water to bring rich soil to the show.