#sephzard

No other reason.

Obviously.

IFHDJDJD I forgot to check my ask box because like...I almost never get asks??? OMG HI??? 👀👀 I'm sorry about the late response @snowbanshee (do I need to tag you? I have no idea if you get a notif when I respond 😅😅). Oof not off to a good start LMAO

SO! If Sephiroth calls Lazard specifically "daddy" (instead of "father" like it was implied in @rottenpumpkin13's ask) I fully think the man would short circuit for a second. Maybe not necessarily because he's into it at the beginning but because who wouldn't if Sephiroth calls you that out of nowhere. What does he do? Is this an HR violation? Do they even have an HR?

I know the ask implied it was by accident, but I think it'd be funnier if Sephiroth calls Lazard that in the first place because either Zack or Genesis managed to successfully convince him that it's a way to refer to someone you respect, informally because it's current slang. As a prank.

Sephiroth remains utterly oblivious to the implications of that word, and Lazard has to delicately try and explain it. Which is an awful conversation to have, because try explaining the sexualization of the word used for parental figures to a man that has no proper parents. 👀 Yeesh. Eventually, he just gives up and deals with it. So, Sephiroth continues to just. Call him "daddy". I think a bonus to it is it would probably both confuse and piss off Hojo in equal measure which is an even greater incentive for him to continue.

So Sephiroth just starts referring to Lazard as daddy in casual conversation. One notable time, during a meeting - that one was accidental cause Sephiroth didn't mean to be so informal - and was taken aback by the sheer magnitude of the reaction from the other meeting members. Well, he knows this is a professional setting, but he didn't think some use of casual slang should warrant such dramatics. He tells the entire room this. Lazard turns entirely red, and puts his head in his hands.

It sparks up some WILD ass rumours in Shinra. They'd expect this from Genesis maybe as a way to piss off the higher ups, or some of the more jokey soldiers in an ironic way but from SEPHIROTH??? SEPHIROTHHH?????? Obviously the only conclusion they can make is that this man is being serious??? They're dating? Is this a kink thing?? An inside joke??? What is happening???? Add that to the fact that Sephiroth often hides out in Lazard's office to avoid the science department?? The gossip mills are going crazyyyyy.

The silver elite puts out a statement that Sephiroth is dating the director of SOLDIER. Both Sephiroth and Lazard are separately congratulated on their relationship. Angeal attempts to sit Sephiroth down and give him a lecture on safe BDSM etiquette. It is about as mortifying as it sounds. Zack (or Genesis, depending on who pranked him) doesn't know whether to feel horrified or amused at how far this has gone.

At this point there's no way Sephiroth hasn't understood that something is up, but he's realized at this point that he's able to use Lazard as an excuse to get out of going to things. It doesn't always work cause Lazard is a director in Shinra so unfortunately he can't use it to get out of official events, but for escaping the science department? For getting out of people/fans trying to hit on him??? For getting out of stupid PR stuff? YES. He just has to hit em with a "Apologies, I'm already taken", "my partner has expressed discomfort over me showing too much of my skin in campaign photos" etc. etc. and he's scot free. It helps too that his partner is someone high up in Shinra. He's milking this for all it's worth. He tells people uncomfortable things about their supposed sex life with a totally blank expression to get out of conversations he doesn't want to have. Lazard is losing his mind a little bit.

He's losing his mind partly because of the sheer embarrassment of being called "daddy" by one of his soldiers one of his very attractive soldiers, that already liked hanging out in his office cause he views Lazard as a safe space, which already made him feel warm and fuzzy for reasons he will NOT examine AT ALL, but also partly because people are now noticing him because of the rumours. He has a fanclub now. There's people in Midgar raving about how attractive he is, thirsting about his gloves, his cheekbones, his suit, his hair, his glasses??? They're just glasses???? How strict is he if he has that kind of relationship with Sephiroth?? 🫢🤭🤭 He's so commanding when he talks!! Etc. etc.

People are agreeing that obviously the only one suitable for Sephiroth is Lazard. People are pointing out how hard he works, his diligence and confidence and intelligence. Lazard supposes he's at least glad that the majority of public opinion is good, despite the uptick of death threats he's been receiving in the form of letters. The partner of Sephiroth has no way of avoiding the spotlight.

It's annoying - but it's almost a saving grace. Now that he's well known, his asshat of a father Shinra would have a hell of a harder time getting rid of him. If the man reacts too strongly to Lazard's gain in popularity, it becomes suspicious. He can use this.

In addition to making slightly bolder moves in Shinra's internal politics, Lazard also starts getting in on the fun. He strikes me as someone who can have some very dry humour, there's no way he wouldn't find joy in making annoying conversation partners uncomfortable.

And while all this is happening, Sephiroth continues to seek refuge in Lazard's office. The science department has an even harder time finding him, because now soldiers and employees alike will run interference for him, just so he can spend some more time with his partner. Now it's no longer a soldier having a meeting with a director. Now it's Sephiroth trying to spend as much time as possible with his loved one, because he barely gets to see him otherwise. They find it sweet.

I think this entire debacle will also allow Sephiroth and Lazard to become closer. Lazard was already vaguely aware of the awful things the science department does, but I think the more details he learns, the more keen he would be in using his new found leverage to get Seph out of that situation. They're both men with heavy responsibilities, with fathers they'd rather not have, in precarious positions. They're strategist and soldier. They could very easily find comfort and understanding in each other. Sephiroth would see how protective Lazard is for his SOLDIERS, at how hard the man works, at the quiet way he cares, and the quiet way he tries to make life easier for others as a cog in a crushing system, and I think he'd be quite charmed. He understands why everyone was so taken with Lazard - who wouldn't be?

And conversely, one day Lazard will look over at Sephiroth, hair mussed from no sleep after hours of paperwork, grumpily curled up on his office couch (pretending he does have a couch and not just a big empty room of nothing like we saw in crisis core) and realize that he doesn't want him to leave. This man who was crushed and molded into a deadly weapon for Shinra's use, yet still manages to keep his quiet demeanour, his dry humour, his desire to be a good person, his care for the same subordinates Lazard tries to protect.

SEPHZARD:

SEPHGEAL:

Thank you, lovely and beautiful Pumpkin ♡

🦎 😺

Thank you for the ask, friend ♡

Lazard would enjoy the atmosphere the most. Sure, the rides are exciting, and the games are fun. But just to be there with someone he's close to, immersing himself in the sounds, lights, and tastes is almost magical. He'd treasure the memories of sharing a caramel apple with Sephiroth forever. Lazard would definitely enjoy the relaxing, romantic rides like boats, Tunnel of Love, or Ferris wheel, the intimate aspect of it.

Sephiroth would be sceptical at first, because he'd be unsure if it's okay for him to enjoy such childish activities. Also, won't the place be too crowded, too loud, too consumeristc and fake? Isn't it a cheap, shiny distraction? After some coaxing, he'd warm up to the idea. He'd like the "scariest" rides the most. Sure, they wouldn't feel scary for Sephiroth, he'd be like an overgrown child on an oversized swing for the first time.

While I'm sure Lazard is an excellent marksman, it's Sephiroth who has inhuman capabilities. He scares the business owner for a bit by winning an ungodly amount but tickets, but settles for one massive teddy bear, which he presents to Lazard not unlike a house cat that successfully hunted down a toy.