I get short with you. I push you away. Cause I'm fucking tired of this bullshit. I did open up to you. You read through me better than anyone else in the world. And it scares me. I don't even need to say anything anymore and you'll automatically ask me what's wrong. But I don't like you, okay? Happy? I was confused and I thought I did, because you never really told me off. And then I realized what I was doing and I backed off. I told myself and everything clicked. I know I can't do that to you and I know you wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm not gonna ruin us by saying that or acting on it. But it's still happening. We can't even carry a conversation anymore. We used to talk all day, everyday. And we did that since January 22. That's almost 4 months now that we've been inseparable, even though we can't see each other. But now, every single night, no, every single day. All the time now, it's awkward, it's short, and it's fucking annoying. We can't talk and we can't open up anymore. Your reason: you can't have me falling for you. You can't handle it and you don't love me back. My reason: I'm tired of you pushing me away so far that all I can say back is "okayy" or "alrightt" or "sorry :/". I'm sick of talking about nothing all the time. I'm annoyed by your short responses. And I'm so so frustrated at myself because I'm letting it get to me. This isn't a one-sided friendship. We're both here, but neither of our head's are in it anymore. Hell, neither of our hearts are in it anymore. I can't have another person leave me. Don't make me sound like the bad guy here. We're both at fault. The worst part is, we're too worried about being short with each other, we're too focused on how annoyed we are with each other, and we're too guarded with each other. It used to be that nothing was off limits, we talked about everything that was on our minds, and now we're scared to death to just admit that there's something wrong here. I can't lose you. Neither one of us can go through this right now, and we can't handle it. So can we just drop all this bullshit, stop being short, talk about everything like we used to, and bury all this frustration we have with each other and finally just get back to being best friends again? Cause this is not working for me right now. And I miss the old us. I miss you. I miss the real you. And it's all my fault. I'm sorry that everytime I talk to you, you get worse. I'm sorry that everytime I ask you what's wrong, I cause millions of your worst thoughts to come to mind. I'm sorry that I always ruin your good mood. I'm sorry that I never let you have fun. I'm sorry that I've caused all this extra shit to happen. I'm sorry that I've made you worse. I'm sorry that all I do is bring you down. I used to think I was good for you. Now all I see, all I know, is that I am in no way good for you. I'm starting to think that you were better off without me. I'm just so sorry for making you worse, causing you extra stress, making you decide, pushing you away, and most of all. I'm sorry I couldn't save you.