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Trigger His Instinct to Chase You With One Line
When One Sentence Makes Him See You Differently Forever
You know that moment when someone is looking at youā¦ but not really seeing you?
His eyes are there, his smile is there, his words are warm enough and yet, deep down, you feel like heās coasting. Like his heart is no longer leaning forward towards you, but resting lazily against the idea of you.
Itās in the pauses between his texts. The way he takes just a little longer to reply.
The way the conversations feel safeā¦ but not electric anymore.
And you sit there wondering: Did I do something wrong? Did I become too available? Too predictable?
Maybe youāve read somewhere that āmen love the chaseā and you thought you understood it. You gave him space. You stayed mysterious. You even pulled back at times.
But here you are, curled up at 1 AM, scrolling through articles and half-whispered Reddit confessions, trying to decode what makes a man suddenly remember your worth.
Hereās what nobody tells you: sometimes, itās not about space, or mystery, or even playing hard to get. Sometimes, itās about a single, well-placed sentence that shifts his instincts not through manipulation, but through the raw, undeniable truth of who you are.
A sentence that reminds him: I am not a given. I am a choice. And if you donāt choose me fully, you may lose me entirely.
Itās not a threat. Itās not a game.
Itās a quiet truth you plant like a seed in his mind and then, you let it bloom on its own.
Because when youāve been the one always leaning in, always carrying the emotional weight, always making it easy for himā¦ he forgets the depth of what you bring. And human nature as unfair as it feels doesnāt chase what it believes will never leave.
The beauty of one perfectly timed sentence is that it doesnāt scream or demand. It doesnāt come wrapped in tears or drama. It drips slowly into the space between you, like perfume in the air, impossible to ignore.
Something as simple as:
"I miss the way you used to look at me."
Orā¦
"I donāt feel the same spark from you lately."
Or even softer:
"I want to feel wanted by you again." Itās not an accusation. Itās a mirror.
And mirrorsā¦ have a way of making people see what theyāve been avoiding.
When you say it calmly, without bitterness it lands in a different part of his mind. Itās not processed as pressure. Itās processed as a loss. The possibility of losing you. And nothing activates a manās instinct to chase faster than realising heās been taking something rare for granted.
But hereās the truth I wish someone had told me years ago:
That line only works when you already believe in your own worth.
If you say it from a place of begging, it sounds like a plea.
If you say it from a place of self-respect, it sounds like a boundary.
And men especially the kind worth keeping are magnetised to boundaries wrapped in softness.
So before you even think about what to say to himā¦ sit with yourself.
Remember the woman you were before him. Remember the version of you who didnāt wait by her phone. Who knew the music she loved and wore perfume for herself. Who was her own safe place.
When you carry that energy even quietly the words you choose have more weight. Theyāre not desperate. Theyāre defining.
Because what youāre really saying in that one line is:
"Iām here because I want to beā¦ not because I canāt be anywhere else."
And somewhere in his chest, his instincts will shift. The part of him wired to hunt, to prove, to earn it wakes up again.
Iāve seen it happen. Iāve lived it. The same man who had been slow to reply suddenly sent good morning texts again. The same man who kept plans vaguely suddenly wants to know when he can see you.
Itās not magic. Itās a memory. Youāve reminded him of the spark and more importantly, the possibility that the spark could disappear.
And the thing is, this isnāt just about making him chase you again. Itās about you. Itās about being the kind of woman who doesnāt need to shout to be heard, who doesnāt have to force herself into someoneās priorities.
Itās about knowing the difference between wanting someone and needing someone to validate you.
Because when you start operating from that place where youāre enough, even without him you stop chasing. And thatās when they feel the shift.
I canāt promise you heāll run after you the way you dream. But I can promise you this: when you stand in your worth, you stop settling for half-hearted love. And that, in itself, changes everything.
Maybe tonight, youāll try it. That one sentence. Said without tears, without trembling, without fear.
And maybe, in the quiet that follows, youāll feel something even more powerful than his chase youāll feel your own strength coming back to you.
Because sometimes, the line that makes him see you differentlyā¦ is the one that makes you see yourself again.
And that is where the real magic begins.
If these words found you tonight, let them stay with you. You are not hard to love. You are simply not meant to beg for it.
Reblog if your heart needed this. Share it for the women who forgot their spark.
ā„ļø ā¦ā¦ā¦ Thank You ā¦ā¦ā¦. ā„ļø
ā ļø Read the rest via the link in my bio. AND: Follow my page at Medium for experimental, soulful, and pleasure-centered writing that gets you thinking and feeling. Happy Friday š ā¢ #blackwomenhealing #sacredwisdom #loveofself #queerpoc #selfloveheals #selfloveisimportant #compassionfirst #healingjustice #bethemagic #pleasurerevolution #bipocbookstagram #bipocbooks #nonfictionauthor #nonfictionwriter #bipocauthors #newbookstagram #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #strongblackwoman (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaIvh73P0qd/?utm_medium=tumblr
You gotta have faith, my friend. Faith is not just for the religious or the spiritual or the goody two shoes amongst us. Faith is a skill. Especially for those of us who never feel āenoughā. Weāre the ones know intellectually weāve done a lot but rarely feel satiated. We have a sort of OCD of the soul, a deep well spring of uncertainty. Faith isnāt reciting affirmations you donāt believe in. Faith isnāt bombastic visualizations and āstaying positiveā when we feel anything but. Faith is the skill of taking actions, even small action, towards how we wish to feel. Faith is learning to sit with the discomfort of not knowing if things will work out. Faith is becoming comfortable with being a little bit uncomfortable. Faith is a skill you can build over time: You write even when you donāt feel good enough. You sign up for that pole dance class even if you canāt touch your toes. You go on the date even though youāre nervous as f*ck. And you keep showing up, hard days, good days, in between. And you honor all the times youāve done things without knowing if it will all work out. There is no failure with faith. So when you can: Feel the discomfort. Know that āenoughā does not live outside of yourself. Take one step, one new action, one new thought forward. And celebrate yourself! This sh*t isnāt easy! You donāt need a bucketload of confidenceāever. A little faith goes a long way. I am the empress of doubt AND I live by faith every single day. I practice what I preach. Iāll help you deepen your faith in your writerly purpose. Iāll help turn that sh*tty first draft into a work of art. If youād like to learn more about what I offer, sign up for my moonletter newsletter. š, Hannah ā¢ #bookcoach #sacredwisdom #writingcoaching #queerpoc #selfloveheals #honeyistheknife #hannaheko #healingjustice #writingcoach #pleasurerevolution #bipocbookstagram #bookcoaching #nonfictionauthor (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZffI7YvyPs/?utm_medium=tumblr
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Someone cares. There is always an audience for your work. There are always clients who want what you are selling. But if you hide, how will they find you? If you try to be like everyone else, how will they know youāre EXACTLY who they want? If you stop going, how will they become deep fans of your work who talk about you to their friends? After undergrad, I wanted nothing more than to be a successful writer. I wanted to write good sh*t. I wanted to inspire and disturb and delight. Iād start a blog. Stop. Start a short story. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Writing was excruciating and made me so anxious Iād get anxiety attacks. I stopped because a reverberating voice screamed, āNo one cares.ā And I believed it. Or sometimes I heard, āThe *right* people didnāt care.ā And I believed it. If I didnāt receive immediate validation, I stopped. I decided that silence = no one gives a sh*t. I decided my output didnāt matter unless it was lauded on by the ārightā authorities. And true: sometimes silence is a teacher. Maybe we do have to refine, revise, and reassess. But refine, revise, and reassess ā stop. Write to the people who care, even if the only person who cares is you. Make friends with the silence. Use it to listen deeply. Pause whenever you need to replenish. But please, keep going. I help writers move out of the stop-start-stop cycle into a rhythm that works for them. DM me to learn more about my 1:1 coaching and developmental editing services and letās get you in flow. š, Hannah ā¢ #blackwomenhealing #sacredwisdom #loveofself #queerpoc #selfloveheals #selfloveisimportant #compassionfirst #healingjustice #bethemagic #pleasurerevolution #bipocbookstagram #bipocbooks #nonfictionauthor #nonfictionwriter #bipocauthors #newbookstagram #hannaheko #honeyistheknife (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/hannah.eko/p/CZIbZUhPPJ6/?utm_medium=tumblr
No wonder some of us strive to be perfect. No wonder we are afraid to fail. And yet, perfection never protects us from feeling flawed, bad, inferior for long does it? Thereās always something we couldāve done or said better. There is no perfect deed that will save us from our fallibility. No perfect piece of writing that will quiet the incessant self-judgment. There is just us and the decision to feel the shame of being imperfect and do the thing anyways. Over and over again. Your fears of imperfection are a survival mechanism and itās scary for our souls to let go of something that kept us or our people alive. Our world will not be healed by perfection. And your recovery from paralyzing perfectionism will be far from perfect. We will heal from imperfect tries toward a greater good. You will heal by acknowledging the fear and choosing one good enough action inspired by your no f*cks given truth. May you know that the opposite of perfect isnāt bad or terrible. May you know the opposite of perfect is human. If you desire to make 2022 the year you release unhelpful perfectionism off and on the page, see the link in my bio to find out more about my 1:1 coaching and developmental editing practice. āšæ ā¢ ā¢ #blackwomenhealing #sacredwisdom #loveofself #queerpoc #selfloveheals #honeyistheknife #compassionfirst #healingjustice #bethemagic #pleasurerevolution #bipocbookstagram #bipocbooks #nonfictionauthor #nonfictionwriter #bipocauthors #hannaheko (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZBdI8xLF3y/?utm_medium=tumblr
Letās say there are two people in the emergency room. One dude has suffered the loss of a finger. Another girl has suffered the loss of their arm. They are both in pain but clearly the severity is different. But. Perhaps, the finger wound wound was jagged and complicated. Perhaps their life is an example of death by a thousand papercuts. Perhaps the person with the arm wound has an entire community around them and the cut was clean. Is it understandable that the arm wound girl doesnāt give a f*ck about the finger wound dude? Absolutely. Do their wounds require the same treatment? Absolutely not. Will arm wound girl heal faster if finger wound lets their wound fester and stays suffering? Absolutely not. I present this rather grotesque picture because I feel there is a human tendency to compete with even our pain. And if we are competing and comparing, weāre probably not healing. Sometimes we need to move to different rooms if we want our wounds to be met with proper treatment. Sometimes, people with severe wounds probably donāt want to hear our more moderate stories and thatās okay. Choosing to suffer because someone suffered more is a choice. Asking someone to remain unhealed because you suffered more is cruelty & wonāt save you. Obsessing about othersā wounds and not focusing on your own healing is called the Trauma Olympics. Healing our wounds is a decidedly messy, nonlinear journey and weāve made choices that did not serve us. Lean into the habits of mind and heart that keep you from healing. What is it that your wound really needs? Acknowledgment? Community? Permission to be? Boundaries? Your wound is your wisdom. Lean in and resist nothing. Our wounds can be our biggest allies when we stop resisting their message & meet them with care and support. In my six month 1:1 coaching program, we hold the weird and tender of your life so you become a writer unafraid of ANY of your feelings. Youāll know and act from a place of grounded truth. See the link in my bio 2 learn more. ā¢ #sacredwisdom #hannaheko #selfloveheals #honeyistheknife #bipocbookstagram #bipocbooks #nonfictionauthor #nonfictionwriter #bipocauthors (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CY97PIEPe38/?utm_medium=tumblr
