Itâs summer once again and I still donât look  like a model. What is this?Â

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Itâs summer once again and I still donât look  like a model. What is this?Â

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Emily Post says,
Youâre not supposed to ask, âAm I pretty?â or say, âIâm really hot!â Donât take the last piece of chicken on the plate OR the last brownie. Donât gawk at people in a public place, even Wal-Mart, they have a right to dress that way, or be with that person. If you donât like it, donât look! If you go to someoneâs house for dinner, donât stay until they are yawning openly in your face, and if youâŠ
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It was here I came face to face with language incalculably older than my own. Among people who can still speak the original Wordâthe earth's elaborate, strangely lyrical conversation with itself. Mankind's conversation with the living and intelligent Real that defies analytical languageâa conversation better suited to the ambiguities of music and dance and story. (Whereupon, I happily confess, a vast and vexing chunk of my language world simply vanished, like Alice's cat.)
Calvin Luther Martin. The Great Forgetting
Self-Healing BY: ALEX
Today, a counselor of mine told me I should write and blog again...about positivity. So...here it goes.
If you're reading this, I shall have to thank you for believing in me enough to read on. I sure hope I hold your attention...and thank you for giving me a chance.
Today, I wanted to do some research on what it takes to really start to self-heal, and self-grow. Informing yourself and intelligence is the key to success on any journey. My trouble is that I have a lot of pride. I feel as if I know what I need to do; Iâve heard it all before. And I always felt like there was literally no hope for me, as Iâm sure youâve felt at one time or another. Hereâs a secret though: I may know the right steps I need to take in order to improve my situation, but my intelligence on the matter is not developed enough for me to judge so quickly on whether or not I can really self-improve myself. In other words, I wanted to do some research for myself and for you, if youâre open to it, on some good steps and tips to start you on a path of self-healing rather than self-destruction, and motivation to help keep you on that path.
Doing research, writing, reading, studyingâŠintelligence in general is such an important aspect of life. If your pride is getting in the way of you constantly learning and growing and expanding your horizons, you should consider breaking those ego barriers and allow yourself to be âone-upâ on reality vs other life forms. It opens the way to allow ones own life to make more sense to the individual and I think that is a powerful reason why we should all have a thirst for learning. So, my points being, always go, seek and strive to find new things. And never think you know everything about a certain thing, âcause you donât.Â
Personal growth and âknowing thyselfâ, as some like to call it, are things we could all do a little more of. Knowing yourself, discovering your vices, your talents, your triggers, the things that make you happy, recognizing the things that do not make you happy are all important for the first step of growing. Recognize first your strengths, and then your weaknesses. For me, I didnât want to accept the fact that I wasnât a perfect human being, and that I did indeed have (hundreds) of faults and weaknesses. Recognizing those are important, especially for those who are extremely ego driven, like myself. Youâre only as strong as your biggest weakness. You gain knowledge from admiring your strengths and recognizing your weaknesses. For me, it was realizing the negative group of people I had in my life for months, and how that was impacting my life negatively. This self-knowledge will guide you with the direction you need in order to better yourself. This direction will bring you the focus and dedication you need to go on with this journey youâve decided to take.
Once this self-knowledge is in place and clear as day for you to see, you now have the information needed to continue your âjourneyâ, and to see the changes you want to see within yourself. You also took the initial step in identifying the process in order to facilitate that change. So whether it beâŠyou need help with self-confidence, letting someone go, confronting friendships, battling an addiction, Hell, Iâve needed self-improvement in all of these areas in my life. It can get overwhelming, but youâre stronger as a person by tackling these on and grasping it and bettering yourself within these areas of your life. Youâre on the right track!
You go, Glen Coco! Give yourself a high-five!
Most importantly, understand that this takes so much courage, to really look within yourself and clean up some areas. Look at it this way, when your car or your room begins to get dirty, and then thereâs this point whereâŠ..itâs just so dirty that you donât even want to start cleaning it. Itâs starting to make you cringe just looking at it, youâre dreading the time itâs going to take to clean it, etc. Then, more time passes, and thereâs a point where you just canât even stand to look at it anymore, so you finally get your hands dirty and you begin to organize and clean your room or car, and you feel so much better afterwards. Self-Growing and cleaning is a lot like that, through my eyes. Itâs going to hurt eventually just looking at the constant growing mess. But, this is the very thing that will disgust you so much to the point whereâŠyou have to clean up. Once you decide and recognize your strength, you can pick yourself up off of the ground and start that journey to a positive, happier life that youâre supposed to be living. You essentially have all of the tools at your fingertips to help you grow and get you out of this place you may feel stuck in. Always strive for more success, but be content with what you have.
I have a tattoo that states âa blessed unrest that keeps us marching, and makes us more alive than the othersâ. This has different meanings to everyone, but for me, itâs about breaking those ego barriers within myself, recognizing that I have a long journey ahead of me to get me out of situations and hardships. Never let your âdeal of the cardsâ in life bring you down. You may have a lot going on, or you may have never had a mom or dad growing up, you may have fallen into drug addiction, or alcoholism, you may be having trouble getting over someone, etc. But, these frictions in your life are precisely the very things that make you stronger as a person. They are what make you different from other people, and the way you handle them is what âmakes you more alive than the othersâ.
Thanks for letting me ramble on!
So true.

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Yesterday my boyfriend told me that he was going to get a membership to a gym and I was all like that's awesome baby! And then he said that I had to go too and I was down for that cause I want to work out more than I currently do (which is never). And then he went on to say "then that ass can get firm for me."Â
I hate my body. I hate how I don't have a flat stomach or a thin waist and I hate how my thighs touch and all that nonsense. But the one part of me that I have always been proud of is my butt. I don't feel so proud anymore. I'm playing it off like it was nothing and I don't want to talk about it at all. But that hurt. That really really really REALLY hurt. And the worst part is that now I feel self-conscience around him. I used to go to sleep in one of his t-shirts and just underwear and now that just feels so uncomfortable. All I can think is if he's feeling my ass pushed up against him and just feeling disgusted by it because it's just there. It's not firm or perky. Its just flabby and there. I constantly check my ass when I put on pants. Even my favorite jeans that I USED to think made my ass look amazing. Now all I can see is the flaws.... I already hate every other part of me...I don't want to hate the one thing that I was actually proud of. I hate this feeling.Â
Meditação da EssĂȘncia
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