#self seeking

They were right and should I be offended? Nah, because all this time I did desperate things to seek out “unconventional” forms of love instead of just being real with myself and others.

I don’t have to keep having “casual” sex, being a doormat to friends/family, nor do I have to continue to seek attention whether it be negative or positive.

I have the answer to all my hurt and to simply put it; I need to love myself. I’m not entirely sure how to do that, but I think with NA and the group of people I've surrounded myself with its possible.

In the same breath I was told that I had no self-respect, I was also being told that they didn’t understand it because they would die to look like me. I was one of the most beautiful girls they’ve encountered. But i’m sure my fellow ladies and gents know that having no self-respect doesn’t come from the foundation of beauty, but the beauty within we lack. The beauty we cover up because shame is ridiculed in every stance, sentence, laugh we share with others.

Im 23. Ive been the same since 11 and younger. I'm just grown more and more jaded because of how vapid people everywhere choose to be out of complacency and a false sense of comfort. No real changes at all... I doubt any major changes are gonna happen in the next 2 years either.

We may or may have not met yet, but I hope you are doing well. I pray to God to let us meet on the very perfect day that he planned. Hang in there because I'm still building my future. Though I'm still wondering with no destination. I was hoping that if you would see me along your way, please guide me. I've been always dreaming about the day we would meet. How will it be and where will it be. Would we start as enemies or colleagues.