#self medicating

You can poke your head behind the mountain peak Don't have to mean that you've gone into hiding

This line has been tickling my brain for years now…I’ve added the links to genius annotations (for what they are worth!). And for this couplet in particular, none of their suggestions feel right to me.

Earlier today, however, somehow the phrase “mountain peak” triggered a recent memory from the bottle shop (translation: off-license [uk]; liquor store [everywhere else maybe?]) trying to find a good balance been price and value of all the different vodka bottles available … and these two thoughts hitting me at the same time has gripped me all day. so here’s my interpretation - in blue text:

But first:

Disclaimer: I’m not the author of the song lyrics I’m about to discuss. Therefore this is 100% conjecture. All words in blue are my own, and —no matter how true this interpretation feels to me—there are likely many other explanations that fit just as well. Plus, lyrics are not necessarily autobiographical or true. The author has no reason to tell their deepest darkest secrets to the world. And EVERY reason possible to obscure their true meaning behind analogy, metaphors, fictional stories, nonsense words.

content warning: discussion of addiction/ alcohol abuse /self medication / mental health disorders. if you need/want support, I’ve been through some stuff, myself, and living with close family members struggling with the all-too-common combo of alcoholism and the A-Z of mental heath issues. I’d be happy to listen if you need someone to talk to. DM me.

Or reach out to local professional support: e.g there are some good options here in Victoria (Australia) including Beyond Blue and more services provided by the government and order community organisations: https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/servicesandsupport/alcohol-and-drug-services

ok, here we go: Body Paint, by the Arctic Monkeys

[Verse 2] My teeth are beating and my knees are weak

Shivering/ teeth chattering, feeling weak/unwell. These are symptoms of a lot of health and emotional problems: including panic, anxiety, stress, and alcohol/substance abuse/ withdrawal

It's as if there’s something up with the wiring

The wiring could refer to the nervous system, thoughts/feelings being erratic/ disordered, or symptoms of substance withdrawal/ abuse.

You can poke your head behind the mountain peak

“…poke your head behind the mountain..” is clearly a play on the English idiom to “having your head in the sand” - which means to pretend everything is fine/ to ignore your problems… named after an ostrich behavior apparently, though I’ve not looked this up recently. [side note, I’m pretty sure I read that on the CD-ROM encyclopedia Britannica that came with my family’s first home PC. Omg what a flash back! ] … back to the topic… 😅

So, far so simple, right? But for me “behind the mountain peak” is quite a different idea…

or maybe it’s just a a different scale?

The literal meaning is kinda funny - after all heads are much smaller than mountains, so it seems a massive overreaction to feel like you need to hide such a small thing behind such an extremely large thing. And to poke… such a short-term, almost cheeky way to say your hiding from something… It’s just lovely and effective wordplay.

But it’s not just any mountain peak. It’s “the” mountain peak. Maybe a specific, real-life geographical-feature-on- earth mountain. Like hiding away like a hermit in your house high up on the side of Ben Nevis or Mont Blanc or Mt Kosciusko (for the Aussies). It’s an appealing thought, honestly. My dream.

but, what if you don’t want to hide yourself away? Or what if you feel like you can’t. What if you need to function in the world? Even in front of the whole world perhaps?

Don’t have to mean that you’ve gone into hiding

so, hiding from your troubles behind something that is both a representation of a mountain and a place to hide from your troubles: hence the flash back to the bottl-o (slang for the Aussies again - although I don’t think I have any Aussie followers?? Oh well).

Grey Goose vodka, for example, has a mountain peak on the label, and alcohol is a renowned method for avoiding your anxieties, giving you a bit of courage/ lower your inhibitions. It allows you to be bold and sociable. Even face a huge audience maybe?!

You can hide in plain sight behind this mountain peak. In fact, it is a goddamn cliché for rockstars to rely on alcohol, to enable performance. Though of course, it doesn’t work in the long term. But what a beautiful way to phrase it in a very un-cliché way.

So, what do YOU think? p.s. To anyone who felt this hit home a bit too hard:

i hope anyone who relates to this interpretation, that you find some solace in it… I know I do. because I’m not the only one who feels this way, and neither are you. and what’s even better news is that a hell of a lot of people have found a way to deal with their problems rather than avoid them. So you definitely can too. Once again, please do seek support. Trying to do it alone is only making it harder.

The hardest part is often finding the courage and energy to find someone who can support you. Someone who’s been there or is trained to help you navigate the challenges. You’ll thank yourself later x

btw, just for clarity, yes I do drink now, it works for me, so far. My problem was less internal addiction, more social anxiety and cultural attitudes to binge drinking. Honestly, I ridiculously find it very difficult to make myself take any drugs, whether highly addictive recreational drugs, which I’ve dabbled with, but also even coffee, paracetamol and prescription drugs that I 100% know I should and want to take!! This is its own problem, of course!

So, what I’m saying is that I have my share of “bad wiring” to deal with, but a physical need for alcohol has never been one of my challenges - I’ll take this blessing where it finds me! I like making cocktails and mocktails alike for myself + friends/family.

In fact, I found this, my favorite mocktail recipe recently. It’s a summer favorite (did I mention already that I’m in Australia - it’s summer). It’s not very citrusy/acidic. I do love citrusy drinks, but I find mocktails tend to rely a bit too heavily on acid to sub for the 🤛 punch in the face that alcohol usually provides. This one, however, uses rosewater - and it’s brilliant! I never would have thought of it myself. Aromatic. Sweet but light n bubbly. And it looks beautiful too.

Why is it that many people think any prescribed medication is all well and good*, but the second you self-medicate (whether because you can’t access prescribed medications due to lack of health insurance, or because the medications you’ve been prescribed don’t work as well for you as whatever you self-medicate with, or any other reason), you’re an evil addict fucking over everyone in your life and many people you don’t even know?