I have a question that’s been bothering me for a while, and I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s perspectives.I’ve been exploring shifting from a non-dual perspective, where there isn’t really a “default reality” or an “out there.” Everything exists here and now, and awareness is the only constant. Intellectually, this makes sense to me.But emotionally, I’m struggling with something.
There are experiences I’ve dreamed about for years that recently happened to someone else in what I’d call my current reality. I’m genuinely happy for them, but I also feel incredibly jealous because it feels like they’re living the life I wanted. I know I could script or shift to a reality where I’m the one who experiences those things first, but then my mind says, “It still won’t be authentic because you know someone else already experienced it in your original reality.”I know this sounds contradictory because if realities are truly infinite and there’s no privileged “default reality,” then why does this current one feel more real or more valid than any other? Why do I feel like experiences only truly count if they happen here first?
Has anyone else struggled with this feeling? If so, how did you move past the idea that your current reality is somehow the “real” one, even when you understand the philosophy behind non-duality and shifting?
i think what you’re describing is actually really common, even among people who intellectually understand non-duality or shifting.
from what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like the problem is that someone else had the experience. it sounds like your mind has unconsciously given this reality a special status.
if someone experiences something in what you consider your “current reality,” your mind treats it as more real, more valid, or more authentic than if the same thing happened somewhere else.
the question i would ask is: why? what makes this reality more legitimate than any other?
most people answer this by saying, “because this is the one i’m experiencing right now.” but if we’re being honest, every reality would feel like the current reality while you’re experiencing it.
that’s why i think this issue goes deeper than shifting. it touches on how we assign value.
for example, imagine you had the exact experience you’ve always wanted. same emotions, same memories, same meaning, same impact. would it suddenly become less authentic simply because your mind knows someone else experienced something similar somewhere else?
if so, then the problem isn’t really authenticity. it’s comparison.
and comparison is endless.
there will always be someone who did something first, achieved something sooner, had a different version of the experience, or lived a life that looks better from the outside.
personally, i think the feeling starts to loosen when you stop treating experience like a competition for originality.
because no experience is ever truly duplicated. even if two people appear to experience the “same” thing, they don’t experience it in the same way.
the meaning, context, emotions, and perspective are completely unique.
so rather than asking whether an experience is authentic because it happened here first, i’d ask whether authenticity actually comes from being first at all.
or whether authenticity comes from the fact that the experience is genuinely lived and felt by you.
