#self doubts

In his younger years, he recalled a Military Police member that had frequented his mother at her job. So many times, he had stood by, helplessly watching as she was used over and over again by him. Treated as a toy to sate his lust, and left bruised and battered for days.

He'd hated him so much, to the point that he had vowed he would kill the man if he ever saw him again. And it was sheer dumb luck that the same man had been about to be your first customer, and Levi had caught him just as he was about to visit you.

Levi had committed the sight of the pigsty officer's freshly rotting corpse, and the blood stains on the wall, to his memory. It was a view he had no intention of forgetting, and a feeling of satisfaction he would cherish.

He remembered being unsure of what to do with you. He had walked into that room with every intention of setting you free and then going his own way. But once he'd caught sight of you and your watery, pained eyes, he'd found himself revising his plans.

Just by the look of you, Levi could tell that you weren't a fighter. You wouldn't be able to fight off the vultures in the dark depths of the underground, not on your own. If he simply freed you, you would either be captured again or die of starvation on the streets.

Even though you were a stranger, someone he owed zero of his care, someone he had no obligation towards, Levi found himself conflicted. He was used to walking past those who couldn't fend for himself, but his feet wouldn't obey him in treating you the same way.

The result of his inner conflict has been you stumbling, shaking as he hurried to drag you out of there.

As the two of you exited the establishemnt building-- Levi had felt as though he had started something beyond him, something he honestly didn't know what to do with.

Later, he would admit to himself, that he had felt excited.

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Levi was used to being alone-to taking on his opponents with his own hands. There was no back up, no team to rely on. Just him and his bare fists.

And despite how tiring it could get, he liked it that way.

By the time he taken you in, he had used his strength to establish a home for himself. It was a small hut, and he was on good terms with the landlord.

It hadn't started out that way, of course, but the Old Relic had learned not to mess with Levi.

He had led you straight to his house, noting your solemn expression. You were troubled-as you should be. He was a man you had never met before, dragging you to his house. But you also had no choice-who else but him? The people that had sold you?

He hadn't been worried about leaving you alone in his house, and had simply ordered you to take a bath before taking off. He would need supplies for you, clothes and what not. It was a pain--and Levi had the feeling his teenage hormones had contributed to this-- but he hadn't minded putting in the extra effort.

The fact that he found a dress that matched your eyes, well, that had been a coincidence.

And the only reason you'd gotten more dinner then him that night was because he just hadn't been that hungry.

Your longing glances at his bread had nothing to do with it.

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You were quiet the first few days, not making eye contact with him, barely speaking beyond telling him your name. You had thanked him softly for the clothes, and he had pretended not to notice the tears welling up in your eyes-you had been relieved to be rid of those those rags, and being able to wear proper clothes again.

Without needing to be asked, you took over maintaining the house. Levi had been impressed by how you had quietly adapted to his cleaning standards, not needing him to direct you on what to do beyond the first two days.

It was an unspoken agreement that you would keep the house clean, cook and stay home. While Levi would be the bread winner, bringing in money and clothes and food into the house.

He hadn't even intended on this, on you living with him. But at the time, he hadn't seen any other option. He'd gravitated towards you for some reason, allowing the softness in his heart to overcome him for once. He not only wanted to help you- he wanted you to stick around.

Maybe it was because he'd never had a friend at that point, or it was those blasted hormones that Kenny had obnoxiously lectured him about once, but Levi just hadn't been willing to let you go.

And years later, in an open field, surrounded by the rain, Levi would acknowledge that out of all the deicisons he had ever made, not letting you go had been the one deicison his heart could never regret.

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You begin to speak up a little, talking to him, asking him about his day. It takes a month, but it's still progress. The two of you learn to cordially co exist with each other.

One day, he had returned home, covered in blood. Usually, he was sparkling clean, maybe a little ruffled up. You weren't used to seeing him in this bloodied state, and had panicked once he had set down the bag of fruits.

'So, these are actually pretty fresh-'

'What happened to you!?'

You cut him off, immediately bee lining towards him. Levi had been perplexed as you grabbed his arm with barely any hesitancy, and made him sit on the couch.

'Tch-Oi, the couch will get dirty-'

'Forget the couch, just look at you. I'm getting the medical kit.'

You had snapped at him, your movements panicky as you looked at him with worry in your eyes. Levi had been startled-not used to anyone looking at him like that.

As though he actually mattered.

In fact, as you bandaged his arm, a concerned frown firmly set on your face, Levi had felt strangely warm.

His heart beat had gotten erratic, and his eyes hadn't been able to keep themselves off of you.

Whatever this was building towards, it only made you more intriguing in his eyes.

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After that, the two of you stop engaging in polite chit chat-and actually start opening up. You're more comfortable around him, more relaxed.

You don't harbour much fear of him- not like before, when you straightened up as though he were some drill seargent whenever he was in the vicinity.

When he walks in to the kitchen now, rather then tensing up and gripping your knife tight, as though you might attack like before, you lightly smile at him.

You welcome him home, as you engage you in household tasks. It's domestic, as though you're an old married couple, who have been doing this for 40 years. The two of you banter with each other even-

'Please tell me that stain on your shirt isn't what I think it is.' '

'......'

'Levi!'

'It's not what you think it is.'

'So it's not blood?'

'I never said that its blood. I also never said that it's not blood.'

'Levi-you did it again! How could you be so reckless-'

The days of the two of you being in the same house, sitting in haunting silence, slowly start to fade away. You begin to approach him, spending more time in his company.

And he enjoys it. He can tell its not out of loneliness, or because you're forcing yourself. Much to his pleasant surprise, he can tell that you're seeking him out for all the right reasons, because you want to.

And Levi finds himself edging towards you, just the same.

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Your interactions get more and more friendly with him, and Levi finds him spiralling head first into his first ever friendship.

He learns about you, how you had lived on the surface. How your parents had been neglectful bastards. It had burned inside of him, his insides had twisted at the fact that they were still alive and kicking, the fact that they had abandoned you.

You tell him about Mr and Mrs Zacharius, about how kind they had been to you. How they had taken you in, offered you the warmth of a home. They had been so loving towards you, as though you were their actual daughter. You don't speak much about their son, Levi had noted, but he didn't think much of it at the time.

Your growing trust in him has Levi offering the same. There are nights where he sits by you, near the fire place. The two of you share warm food, while being wrapped up in blankets in an attempt to defeat the chilly night air.

He finds himself speaking to you without meaning to. He's so used to keeping it all in, he's never once worded out his life story, let alone tried to explain how he feels about it.

But with your honest gaze on him, and the knowledge of your life in his mind, he let's it all out.

When he mentions his mother's job and subsequent death, there isn't any judgement in your eyes. Neither is there any pity or sympathy, which makes him feel glad. He doesn't want any of those things.

You look at him softly, with genuine compassion aimed right at him. When he pauses, feeling choked up, you inch closer to him. Your small form is right next to him, which he belatedly registers, too caught up in his distress.

It's when your hand rests on top of his that he understands what being comforted actually feels like.

It's like his mother's embrace, an act he can hardly visualize in his mind. It's been too long since she left him, so he can't say it's just the same. But all Levi knows is, he feels cared for. Just like back then.

Ever since his mother took her last breathe in this cruel world, he often wished that he had done the same back then.

But now, as he sits by you, feeling warmth like never before, Levi feels like he's been given a reason to breathe again.

He wants to keep breathing, for you.

And most importantly, he admits to himself, that he wants to live-

-With you.

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Roughly after a year and a half of living with you, Farlan makes an entrance into your lives. It had been a calculated decision on his part-one he had thought through numerous times. If it had been just him, he might have given it less mind and simply gone along with it, hoping for the best.

But he had you to care for now. You had become a non negotiable part of his life, one he felt fiercely protective over. He couldn't afford risking you- not when you had become so precious to him. You just weren't built to be a fighter, which meant that he had to take extreme measures to ensure your safety.

Kenny would call him a whipped rat for it, but Levi refused to change his mind.

Anyone he allowed close would have to understand that there was no compromising-not when it came to you.

Which was why he had put Farlan through the ringer-testing him severely. To his credit, the man hadn't complained much. He had been rather accepting of the fact that earning Levi's trust wouldn't be an easy journey.

But he had done it nonetheless, which was why Levi allowed him to meet you. Once you had given your approval, liking the man's respectful demeanour towards you, no doubt something Levi had demanded of him, Levi set out to carry out the next stage of the agreement.

He and Farlan secured another house, bigger then the one he was staying at with you. The old relic had been glad to see the last of him, though Levi had noted how his hands had shook as he waved them off.

The new Landlord, Pigsty Vermin; as Levi likes to call him, soon learns why the old relic had despised him so much.

At least they manage to live in relative peace after that.

And to think, all it took was Levi breaking Pigsty Vermins wrist.

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Levi was a man who had come from nothing, inheriting just a shirt from his mother. You had been born to people who had material assets, only, they wouldn't use them on you. The end result had been the two of you struggling in your attempts at building your lives, trying to cut your way through a forest that had too many branches with spikes.

Levi had succeeded somewhat, but you had gotten knocked down mid way. By the time he found you, you had lost even the hard earned clothes on your back.

He knows there are things you wish you could get back-particularly, a book Mr Zacharius had gifted you, a set of jewellery from his wife. You've accepted that you won't ever see those cherished items again, even though Levi knows it upsets you a great deal to not have them anymore.

He's not some miracle worker, so despite how much he wants to, he can't find them for you. But, as he watches one of those noble women ride in a carriage, he thinks he can maybe you give something else to cherish.

And maybe, it'll help him muster up the courage to say something he's been wanting to for a while.

He's nervous as he approaches you. The last time he had been this jittery was when Kenny had threatened to feed him to wolves if he didn't do well in knife welding practice. His hands aren't shaking per say, but his heart is beating too loud.

He's clutching a velvet box in his hand. It's sparkling clean, a big contrast to the initial state he had found it in. He had wanted to give you your gift in the best condition possible.

After giving himself a stern talking to, he approaches you, urging his legs to stop being so cowardly. There was no way he could turn back now.

You're hunched over the sink as you clean dishes. He clears his throat, causing you turn to him. You sweetly smile at him, and it only serves to make him sweat some more, how could you look at someone like him with such a positive expression?

'Hey, just give me a second. I'm almost done here-'

You trail off, as your eyebrows furrow. Of course, you can tell something is up with him, you know him too well. Usually, this would make him happy, the possessive part of him adores that you pay that much attention to him. However, the part of him that's nerve wracked by what he's about to confess is overwhelming him.

'Is everything okay?'

He snaps out of his thoughts, desperately trying shove his doubts away. What if you don't feel the same? What if he loses you for this?

Levi can promise alot of things. He can promise he'll always want you the way he does right now, that he'll never leave you. He can guarantee that no one else has ever made him feel this way. That everything he has, undoubtedly, will always be yours.

What he just can't say for sure is if he can live without you.

You look at him patiently, concern shining in your eyes. Levi extends his hand, presenting the box you.

You blink in surprise, pointing at yourself.

'Th-this is for m-me?'

Your cheeks turn a little red, and if it weren't for the anticipation bubbling in his stomach, Levi would smirk. Instead, he nods wordlessly. He inwardly counsels himself, he can't just be mute.

You take it from him, a flustered smile lighting up on your face. You look at it in wonder.

'Any year now.'

You roll your eyes at his dry quip, your smiling getting wider as you wave him off.

'Oh hush.'

You open the box, gasping in delight. Inside are a set of earrings and a necklace. A pair of small, golden hoops are delicately placed. There's a tiny, intricate flower hanging from them. The necklace bears the same pattern as the flower. It's a very simple design, but you love it nonetheless.

Your eyes water a little, and you find yourself carefully setting the box down on the table, before hurrying to embrace Levi.

He's caught off guard, not used to physical contact like this. But when it comes to you, no part of him bothers to think much. His arms, having a mind of their own, and carefully loop around your waist. Your head is buried into his chest, arms clutching his shoulders.

'Th-thank you.'

Your crying, and even though it's out of joy, he doesn't quite like it. Pulling back a little, his hand moves to wipe your tears away. He looks at you meaningfully, holding himself back from saying the words he desperately wants to. He doesn't know if someone like him is even worth you, and that thought has the words stuck in his throat.

It shouldn't surprise him though, that you know him well enough to hear what he wants to say, without him having to say a word. You look at him with an understanding expression, somehow catching on to his feelings and consequent dilemma. A gentle hand cups his cheek, and you blush as your eyes shyly flicker to the ground for a second. You manage to muster up the confidence to look at him again, and his heart nearly stops at what you say.

'I love you too.'

The two of you are lost in each others eyes, and Levi finds himself tilting his head, resting his forehead against yours.

A rare, soft smile is visible on his lips, one which most would come to learn, is reserved only for you.

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A/N: Heyooo! So this was highlyyy requested and I honestly couldn't wait to write it either. I hope y'all enjoyed this! I couldn't help writing Levi falling in love in the underground. This just came to me as I wrote, and it made me feel pretty emotional ngl.

Also look at me, writing a confession scene, when I still haven't completed the confession sequel for falling. Those who want that confession fic, feel free to throw some virtual shoes my way. Hopefully it'll motivate me to stop being so lazy about it.