#sefutbolfem

Camp Nou lived deeply within Alexia. It was not simply a venue where she played football, it was deeper than that. It was entwined with so many significant moments in her life. It was where she had grown up, where she had grieved and lost and where she had rebuilt herself to become the incredible woman standing before you today. You still remember the first time you watched her play here and the first time you heard them chant her name. 60,000 voices combining in a wave of sound so powerful and profound it brough tears to your eyes. It echoed from every stand in a show of devotion you had never witnessed before. You remember looking at Alexia in that moment stood beneath the spotlights while all those people sang her name. It was the first time you had experienced the love this city had for her and the first time you truly understood that Alexia was not simply part of Barcelona; she was woven into the very soul of it.

You also remember the first time Alexia had spoken of the toll Barcelona was taking. You remember the first time she struggled to get up for training, the physical weight she seemed to be carrying in every cell of her body. Alexia thrived on routine and usually she was up before her alarm. You had been up for a while and when you had heard the alarm you had waited for the familiar sounds of her moving to the bathroom and beginning her day but they didn’t come. You had moved quietly to the open doorway and watched as she stared up at the ceiling, exhaustion etched so deeply on her face. You took note of the dark circles beneath her eyes and the heaviness of her breathing and knew that something was very wrong.

You stayed, a silent observer cursing yourself for not noticing any of this sooner. When Alexia did push herself up, it looked difficult, like simply carrying her own body was taking more effort than she had remaining. You tried very hard to separate your life at home and you football life. At home Alexia loved coffee and watching trashy reality TV that she would never admit to, she loved cooking while dancing badly around the kitchen and this was why you had missed the signs. Right now, you were witnessing the weight that Alexia carried every second of every day. The weight of being ‘La Reina’ and what those few words truly meant. The expectations for her to be the perfect leader, the perfect player, the perfect role model. It was the first time you realised that the demand she put on herself to be perfect for Barcelona was consuming her piece by piece but she gave them willingly because she loved her club in a way that was hard to put into words.

As that particular memory fades, your eyes are drawn back to the woman who stands before you and you again take a moment to observe her. Outside, the club and the people closest to her wait to say goodbye. A fitting tribute has been planned for their captain who had given everything to this club. You felt something in your chest tighten as you took her in. Over the last few months, Alexia had experienced just about every emotion imaginable and carried with her a heaviness that settled deeply within her soul. She had questioned her decision countless times, wondering if she was making a mistake but tonight that was missing. Today, she looked calm and when you saw her smile, it looked genuine. She no longer carried the unbearable tension that had become a constant companion. There was a softness to her expression a peace that you don’t think you have ever witnessed before.

When Alexia’s eyes met yours, she reached out intertwining your fingers in a way that had become second nature and your chest filled with the most immense pride

“You have no idea now proud I am of you,” you whispered softly and watched a soft blush make its way across her cheek and her eyes immediately softened. “The way you have carried the pressure for so long, the dedication you have shown and the way you have loved this club and the fans, you deserve to feel this moment and to feel their love returned.”

For a moment she just looked at you, her face open and unguarded allowing the emotion she felt to flicker freely in her eyes. This was Alexia unguarded, the person she only allowed herself to be with people she trusted the most. She leaned forwards until her forehead was pressed against yours

“Why are you trying to make me cry before this has even started?” she teased and you smiled softly before replying

“Because you pretend to be tougher than you are”