I hope everyone reading this is doing well. Even if not, I hope you’re doing well right now. The world is/has always been a dangerous scary place and a global pandemic only heightens that. However, I think it’s important to be empathetic with others, spread love and a helping hand, and to connect with others right now more than ever. Tip extra (if you’re American) on delivery, share the information of those who need crowdfunding. Whatever ways you feel like you can help is worth it.
But more than ever, I hope that you’re able to find moments to breathe and relax. I’m lucky enough to be able to work from home, so I’ve been trying to build more time to let myself do nothing and not stress about getting shit done. It’s hard, especially for my hyperactive brain and imagination, but more than anything, shame and guilt start engulfing me telling me I’m not working hard enough and not worth much because of it. I always feel this need to prove my worth to others by working hard and making art or being productive. That’s been hard to balance. I have a pretty toxic relationship to my own self worth and I’m trying to unlearn some of that day by day.
I wanted to send love to others who might be experiencing some of the destructive or toxic thoughts that I’ve had when holed up in my apartment, unable to really travel around the city much. If you’re feeling doubt, shame, or fear about things going on or things that aren’t going on with you, remember that however you wish to spend your time these days is not only valid but it’s important. Whether you’ve been binging netflix shows, or trying to change your diet/work out more, or whether you’re eating only junk food, or you’re trying to stay mad productive and create a bunch of work, or you’re playing a bunch of Animal Crossing or other games, etc. No matter how you’re spending this time, remember that it’s important. If you feel unsatisfied with how you’ve been spending time, ask yourself if you’re enjoying what you’re doing or if it’s good for you or if it’s important to you. If you said no to these questions, then change what you’re doing. Find something that’s bringing purpose or value into your life. It’s all about balance.
So far, the things that bring purpose into my life right now is smoking weed and playing Second Life lol. Happy 420.
