#secondliferoleplay

Weaving between lanes of consciousness and reaction eventually became tiring. The last thing I remember wondering about was that burning in my throat. Was the warmth my own blood, or the grasp of your fingers on my throat?

waste your time with me 💜 

Clothes:

Jumpsuit: Dios - Mami Body (Lilac)

Accessories:

Nails: 1990 - Oppai Set @ Level

Rings: Flaunt - 90's Baby (Light Gold)

Purse: Montesquieu - Mini “Pooch” Hand/Shoulder Bag @ Cakeday

Pose: Heritage - Shake Ass Like Thunder @ The Grand

Watch: November - Aspen Diamond Watch (G)

Make-Up/Tattoo/Appliers:

Eyelashes: Mai Bilavio - BabyDoll 06(GENUS)

Eyes: AG - Essential Eyes

Anatomy:

Body: Meshbody - Legacy

Head: GENUS Project - Genus Head (Baby Face W001)

The mountains would be refuge for anyone who wanted to feel relatively small, being tucked away between the peaks had its own jarring affect on me. I spent time shopping and dilly dallying with my little girl around town before the birth of her little sibling. She was ecstatic and as happy as I was to have them safely in my arms, the pregnancy blues were already sweeping over my empty and desolate body. Soon my body would heal and all that would be left behind was a biological imprint.

Days since I had my body back, and it was odd and eerily unsettling. There was nothing I was protecting attached to me but myself yet I was still guarded and hesitant. I wondered how much of that moment I could share with the world as viewers loomed in the shadow waiting for news to come out. There was expectation yet we 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 made it to the podium.

We were both there for the beautiful birth of our baby and was very present and invested, but the second he left, I had to figure out why and with who. He had grown colder, more distant, quieter and I could see a fire in his eyes dimly snuffing out by the day. It didn't make me remorseful, it made me fragile. Every wince, every aim to look in the opposite direction created a fracture in my ceramic bone. Had he really started to despised me that much? Gotten bored already? Was ready to leave again?

I didn't know what I would see when I walked into the cafe, him sitting with another woman discussing his day? Was she asking him about his plans? Did she know he had 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 had a 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺?  As I pushed open the door, I quietly looked around the quaint cafe. It was an open layout of tall tables and chairs I would literally have to sacrifice my womb to even sit at. Playing pretend wouldn't be worth it. Just as I heard what I thought was Will's voice and ran towards it, "CLINK" a mingling of a coffee cup sliding across a saucer garners a little attention and to my surprise it was none other than Geoffrey. I gasped quietly, "you're not supposed to be here for another 3 days!" I said, excitement suffocating my curiosity as Will sat 12 feet away somewhere here. He ushered me out, almost certain I was here on a mission and my disguise was going to be compromised.

As we hid behind a bus stop shelter we stood parallel from one another. He was noticing there was no belly and as awkward as it was watching him piece everything together physically, it was a dread I couldn’t live any longer. “No the baby isn’t here.” I say with a smug smile on my face. He looks up quickly as if he’d been caught staring. “It was different seeing you in maternal mode like that. Your mom- she would be proud.” He said calmly with hints reminiscent of the manor. The same one my sister and I ran around to pass the days.

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟻, 𝙰 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝

I pressed my back against the couch as I brought my knees to my chest, like a child idling while watching their favorite movie. My head was pounding like the police on a fugitives door. Assertively and dauntingly. I could still feel the itchiness of the hospital band around my wrist. “Feel better?” Matteo walks around the counter and drops his keys into the clutter bowl along with his wallet. “ yeah I guess, it’s just I can’t shake this anxiety that something is wrong. You know? I haven’t had this feeling with the other pregnancy and something is bothering me. Somethings off.” I pushed my weight into my elbows leaning my back against the sofa as I rest my chin on the armrest. “I hate that every time I go to the emergency room it’s always a full night of scans, blood tests, questions.”

He sits down in the old leather arm chair anxiously rubbing his palms together. “ you’re doing the best you can Mein Herz. I don’t think you should be focusing on that. I think we need to talk about something else.” My jaw drops as I roll my eyes at his change of subject. “No. We’re not rolling right over what I said. You didn’t see how those women looked at me. Looking down on me as if they could be a better parent. Like they could carry my child better than me.” My eyes welled up with tears as I held back my urge to scream. “Babygirl….i think this pregnancy is doing something for you and I don’t feel safe enough to leave on my trip for work like this.” He sighed deeply as I went into a hysterical fit of tears. “You didn’t see what I went through. My miscarriage. You didn’t feel what I felt when my kids were taken away from me. What about when Noa was born? When they took her from me? I didn’t even get to hold her during her first few breaths. I am scared. Two premies and I know this baby won’t be carried full term.” He unlatches his gold Rolex and places it on the table.

“ I wasn’t there but I wish I was. I wouldn’t have let Armando get away with what he did. Terrorizing you and Vinny all of those years and then separating you and Noa while having you raise his daughter.” I heard every word he said but I wasn’t listening past “Armando” he was referring to Armani by his REAL name that I had never spoken.