#second pov

"she is a demon," ronal had said, pointing at you with the kind of disdain usually reserved for week-old fish. "she does not belong here."

"she's a child," jake said firmly. "and she stays with us."

neytiri hadn't said anything. she'd just looked at you with those eyes that used to be warm and were now cold as ice. you didn't blame her. you caused them to be outcasted even more.

learning the way of water was hard. harder than it should've been, because you had to do everything with the mask on, which meant you couldn't dive as deep or stay under as long. tsireya was patient, though. she taught you and the sully kids how to hold your breath, how to swim properly, how to bond with the ilus.

and that's when you started noticing her and lo'ak.

they were always together. she was always smiling at him, touching his hand to correct his signing, laughing when he did something stupid (which was often). and lo'ak—lo'ak looked at her like she hung the moon.

you told yourself it was fine. it made sense. she was beautiful and kind and na'vi. you were human and awkward and still struggling to ride an ilu without falling off. of course he'd like her.

but it still hurt.

"you're doing that thing again," kiri said one day, floating next to you in the water. "the broody staring thing."

"i don't brood," you muttered.

"you literally haven't blinked in like two minutes. you're watching lo'ak and tsireya like you're planning a murder-suicide."

"i'm not—" you sighed, letting yourself sink a little lower in the water. "it doesn't matter. he likes her. she likes him. i'm just the weird human girl who can't even breathe the air."

kiri was quiet for a moment, treading water beside you. "you know lo'ak is an idiot, right? like, genuinely stupid when it comes to feelings."

"gee, thanks, that makes me feel so much better."

"i'm serious. he thinks you hate him."

you turned to stare at her. "what? why would he think that?"

"because you avoid him like he has a contagious disease? because you barely talk to him anymore?" kiri raised an eyebrow. "you used to hang out all the time back in the forest. now you act like being near him physically pains you."

"that's because it does," you admitted quietly. "not because i hate him. because i—" you stopped, feeling your face heat up behind the mask. "never mind."

kiri's expression softened. "oh. oh. you like him."

"can we please not talk about this?"

"we're absolutely talking about this." kiri grabbed your arm, pulling you toward the shore. "come on. we're fixing this."

"kiri, no—"

but kiri was surprisingly strong for someone who looked like she survived on vibes, and you were dragged to the beach where tuk was building something out of sand and shells.

"tuk," kiri said seriously. "we have a mission."

tuk looked up, eyes bright. "a secret mission?"

"the most secret. we need to get lo'ak and y/n to actually talk to each other like normal people."

"ooh!" tuk clapped her hands. "like how mom and dad fell in love!"

"exactly like that but with less war and death, hopefully."

"i'm right here," you said flatly. "and i can hear you. and this is a terrible idea."

"all the best ideas are terrible," kiri said cheerfully. "that's how you know they'll work."

honestly, you should've known the sully sisters would be chaos incarnate when they teamed up.

their "plan" involved tuk very loudly announcing at dinner that night that she needed help finding a special shell for her collection, and could lo'ak and y/n please go look for it together because everyone else was busy?

it was the least subtle thing you'd ever witnessed.

jake looked confused. neytiri looked suspicious. lo'ak looked like he'd just been told to swim with an akula. and you wanted to sink through the floor.

"uh," lo'ak said eloquently. "sure?"

which is how you ended up walking along the beach at sunset with lo'ak, both of you painfully aware that this was a setup and neither of you willing to acknowledge it.

"so," lo'ak said after five minutes of agonizing silence. "shells."

"yep. shells."

"tuk really likes shells."

"she really does."

more silence. you wanted to scream.

"look," lo'ak said finally, stopping to face you. "did i do something? to make you mad or whatever? because you've been avoiding me for weeks and i don't know what i did wrong."

you blinked at him. "you didn't do anything wrong."

"then why won't you talk to me anymore? we used to—i mean, back in the forest, we were friends. and now you look at me like you're trying to figure out how to escape whatever room i'm in."

guilt crashed over you in a wave. harder than the actual waves you’ve been hit by. "lo'ak, no. that's not—i'm not trying to avoid you because i'm mad at you."

"then why?"

you looked down at the sand, at the way the bioluminescent waves were starting to glow as the sun dipped below the horizon. "because it's easier than watching you with tsireya and pretending it doesn't bother me."

the silence that followed was so heavy you could've drowned in it.

"wait," lo'ak said slowly. "you're jealous? of tsireya?"

"i'm not—okay, yes. fine. i'm jealous." you forced yourself to look at him. "she's perfect, lo'ak. she's na'vi, she belongs here, she can actually breathe without a stupid mask. and she's nice and pretty and you look at her like—" your voice cracked. "like how i wish you'd look at me."

lo'ak stared at you like you'd just grown a second head. "are you insane?"

"excuse me?"

"y/n, i don't like tsireya. she's great, but she's like—she's like a teacher. or a nice older sister or something. i don't like her like that."

"but you're always together—"

"because she's teaching me! because i'm the idiot who can't swim or sign or do literally anything right!" he ran a hand through his braids, looking frustrated. "and you—you've been avoiding me, and i thought it was because you finally realized what everyone else knows. that i'm the screw-up. the disappointing son. the one who got his brother killed—"

"lo'ak, stop." you grabbed his arm without thinking. "neteyam's death wasn't your fault. and you're not a screw-up. you're brave and loyal and you care so much about everyone even when they don't deserve it. you're—" you took a shaky breath. "you're kind of amazing, actually. which is really inconvenient for me because i've been trying really hard not to like you."

his ears perked up. "trying not to like me?"

"i'm human, lo'ak. your mom already hates humans because of what happened to neteyam. and i'm not even—i can't breathe here without this thing—" you tapped your mask. "spider got his whole wish granted, he can breathe now because of kiri's magic plant stuff. but i'm still stuck like this. i don't belong with your family. i don't belong anywhere."

"that's bullshit," lo'ak said firmly. "my dad was human once. spider's human—well, was fully human. you're part of this family just as much as anyone else."

"your mom doesn't think so."

"my mom is dealing with a lot of grief and anger, and yeah, she's taking it out on the wrong people sometimes. but she'll come around. and even if she doesn't—" he stepped closer. "even if she doesn't, i don't care. i like you. i've liked you since we were kids and you punched that one kid for making fun of my hands."

you couldn't help but laugh. "he deserved it. your hands are perfect."

"see, this is what i'm talking about. you get it. you get me." his expression softened. "and for the record? i think your mask is kind of cute. like a little cage for your head."

"oh my god, that's the worst compliment i've ever received."

"i'm bad at this!" he laughed, and the sound made your chest feel warm. "i'm trying to tell you that i don't care about the mask or the human thing or any of it. i just care about you."

you felt tears starting to well up, which was annoying because crying in a mask was uncomfortable and also you didn't want to be that person. "lo'ak..."

"we're both outcasts," he said quietly. "we're both the ones who don't quite fit. so maybe we fit together, you know?"

before you could overthink it, you reached up and pulled him down—he had to crouch quite a bit, because na'vi were ridiculously tall—and pressed your mask against his forehead in the closest approximation of a kiss you could manage.

"this is really awkward," you whispered.

"yeah," he agreed, but he was grinning so wide you could see all his teeth. "but we'll figure it out."

and then, because the universe had perfect timing, tuk's voice rang out across the beach: "i found them! they're kissing! kiri, your plan worked!"

you pulled back to see the entire sully family standing there. jake looked amused. kiri looked smug. tuk was literally jumping up and down. and neytiri—

neytiri's expression was complicated. not quite angry, but not happy either. she looked at you for a long moment, then at lo'ak, then back to you.

"if you hurt my son," she said carefully, "mask or no mask, i will feed you to a akula."

it wasn't acceptance. but it wasn't complete rejection either. it was something.

"yes ma'am," you managed.

jake cleared his throat. "well, this is... unexpected. but nice? yeah. nice." he looked at neytiri. "right?"

neytiri sighed deeply. "my son chooses a human. of course he does. he is exactly like his father."

"is that a yes?" lo'ak asked hopefully.

"it is a 'we will discuss this later and if she makes you happy then i will try.'" neytiri's expression softened just slightly. "your brother would loved this. he always said she had a strong heart."

and that—that broke something open in your chest. because neteyam had been kind to you, in the quiet way he was kind to everyone. and knowing that he'd thought that about you, even when you felt invisible—

you were definitely crying now.

"okay, this is getting too emotional," kiri announced. "can we go eat? i'm starving."

"you're always starving," lo'ak said, but he was still holding your hand.

"lunch only goes so far, baby brother."

as the family started heading back toward the village, lo'ak tugged you back for a moment.

"hey," he said softly. "we're gonna figure this out. all of it. the mask thing, the family thing, everything. together."

"together," you repeated, and for the first time since spider got taken, since you came to this reef, since everything went wrong—you actually believed things might be okay.

you were still an outcast. he was still the "disappointing" son. you still didn't quite fit anywhere.

but maybe that was the point. maybe you didn't need to fit. maybe you just needed each other.

(and if tsireya gave you a knowing smile the next day during lessons, and if rotxo made gagging noises whenever you and lo'ak held hands, and if aonung looked personally offended that his sister's student was dating a human—well. that was just part of the deal.)

later, after everything with the ash people and the war and ronal's death and all the trauma that would take years to unpack, spider finally came back. and the first thing he said when he saw you and lo'ak together was: "seriously? i get kidnapped and experimented on and you use that time to get a boyfriend?"

"i missed you too, brother," you said dryly.

"yeah, yeah. i missed you too." he pulled you into a hug, mask clinking against mask. "but we're gonna have a long talk about your taste in men."

"your best friend is literally a na'vi," lo'ak pointed out.

"exactly. i know what i'm talking about. you guys are all crazy."

and despite everything—despite the war and the loss and the grief and the uncertainty—you laughed. because you had your twin back, you had lo'ak, you had this weird chaotic family that didn't always know what to do with you but kept you anyway.

you still didn't quite belong. but maybe belonging was overrated anyway.

Series Info: Title: Starlight Princess POV: Second-person (You x Poe Dameron) Genre: Action, Romance, Drama, Force lore, Canon Divergence Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader Warnings: Canon-typical violence, emotional trauma, pregnancy, slow-burn, Force visions

Chapters by Act:

Act I: Burning Stars and Broken Light

(The Force Awakens)

Chp. 1 Chp. 2 Chp. 3 Chp. 4 Chp.5 Chp.6 Chp.7

Act II: Echoes of Rebellion

(The Last Jedi)

Chp. 1 Chp. 2 Chp. 3 Chp. 4 Chp. 5 Chp. 6 Chp. 7

Act III: Seeds of a New Dawn

Chp. 1 Chp.2 Chp. 3 Chp. 4 Chp. 5 Chp. 6 Chp. 7

Act IV: The Rise of the Starlight Princess

(The Rise of Skywalker)

Chp. 1 Chp. 2 Chp. 3 Chp. 4 Chp. 5 Chp. 6 Chp. 7 Chp. 8 Chp. 9 Chp. 10 Chp. 11 Chp. 12

Epilogue

Prologue

You were neither the childhood best friend turned love interest nor the villain with the tragic back story.

There was simply nothing remarkable or distinctive about you.

You were a background character. The one who showed up in a few scenes when the writers needed to fill space. Maybe the one who gets a speaking line or two, but no more than that.

And you were fine with it. Being so thoroughly unimportant had its own perks, after all. No messy love triangles, no world that relies on you to be saved, and most importantly, no situations that involve fighting for your very own life.

Your dream was simple: finish high school, get into a decent college, meet a cute guy, and get married. Probably the most all-American fantasy someone could have.

What did set you apart was your sharp mind. That’s what you were known for. You noticed things. You survived high school that way. But no matter how many times you replayed that day in your head, nothing could have prepared you for the explosion that tore through the roof of your classroom. Nothing could have prepared you to lie crushed beneath the rubble, paralyzed by stinging pain and the fear that shook your whole body.

But the real anomaly came after — seeing someone so painfully familiar hovering above the broken bodies of you and your classmates just before he delivered the final blow.

In the seconds between the blast and your death, all you could do was stare at the black hair spilling from the edge of a yellow mask, the straight bridge of the nose, the upturned tip, the sharp jaw clench. The image burned itself into your mind, and just before everything went dark, all you could think about was Mark Grayson.

That name echoed in your head, even as you jolted awake, yelping in pain. Your mind was foggy, your skin damp with sweat, and once your breathing slowed to something close to steady, the scene replayed. Again and again.

A dream?

No.

It felt too real.

You remembered the crushing weight of the rubble pinning down your lower half, the way your limbs wouldn’t move no matter how much you tried. It definitely wasn't a trick of your mind, a fantasy that your brain came up with out of nowhere. It was like it had happened just seconds ago.

But as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you started noticing the first fractures in reality. The duvet cover. A pale beige with thin, green stripes. But hadn't you changed it to a pink floral one just three nights ago?

Then the carpet.

Grey.

Nothing like the soft blue rug you’d begged your mom to get.

It was only then that something deep in the pit of your stomach twisted so uncomfortably that you could no longer ignore it. You quickly sat up and looked down at yourself and saw a mismatched pajama set, green and pink, unfamiliar and ugly in the dim light. You’d never worn them before.

And then came the final sign: your mom bursted into the room, asking what was wrong — the same concerned tone, the same warmth in her eyes you were used to. But her hair. It was a completely different color, a completely different cut. Much shorter. And darker.

That’s when it hit you.

You weren’t dead.

But you hadn’t just dreamed, either. You’d pinched yourself more times than you could count. The sounds, the light, the weight of the blankets… all real. But whatever this was, it wasn’t your life. It wasn’t your world.

You should’ve panicked. But after what you saw, what you experienced in that demolished classroom all you could think about was survival. You didn’t know how or why, but something or someone had given you another shot at life.

And you sure as hell weren’t going to die at the hands of Mark Grayson again.

The office at the SDN building seems to be almost empty, with many employees already gone home for the night.

You seem to be one of the few dispatchers who stayed late. Well, to be precise, it's only you and Robert here in this dark office. Ever since Chase got Blonde blazers amulet and works as a hero, you took his computer right next to Robert for the time being.

It's not like you don't have your own desk, it's in the row in front of Robert- usually. But since Chase isn't active as a dispatcher anymore, why not stay close to your buddy?

"Why are you still here?" you ask Robert while looking at him over the thin wall separating your desk from his, with your elbow resting on top.

"I don't have anywhere else to be." he responds in his usual monotone voice, his tired and baggy eyes staring up at you.

"That's fair." you walk over the separating wall to kneel down and give Beef gentle little pats on his head. He enjoys your attention and plops down onto his side, offering you his round belly. Of course you accept the offer gratefully and give him tummy scrubs.

"What about you?" Robert asks in return, with his lips curling up into a faint smile at the sight of his dog. You simply answer back with his own response: "I don't have anywhere else to be."

Beef rolls out his tongue, seemingly in heaven at your gentle attention. But you have places to be, so you reluctantly pull back.

"I'm heading to the gym." being a SDN dispatcher has its perks, like a free gym in the building anyone employed can use. You grab your backpack and throw it around your shoulders.

"Working on that summer bod?" Roberts scoffs in amusement, which makes you throw a crumbled up paper at him- which he catches in the air, that was laying useless on your desk.

"I already have a summer bod, just trying to level up a bit." you wave him off while making your way towards the gym. At this hour, nobody else would be using it, right?

Wrong. As soon as you walk closer to the door, you can hear the usual sounds of someone using the machines.

Great, here you thought you'd have the whole gym to yourself. It's always calmer and easier to have no prying eyes staring or judging...

Your legs stand still right in front of the door and you only stare for a while, complementing the pros and cons of facing your boundaries to work out with someone else present or just going home. It was a habit to come over here and work out late in the evening, until now nobody was here at the same time as you.

Gathering your strength, you choose the latter, because somehow a person has to grow , right? It always starts in small steps like this.

please don't look at me, please don't look at me, please don't look at me goes through your mind as you slowly push the doors open. Your eyes need a second to adjust to the lighter environment compared to the office, before you catch a taller silhouette in red using the pullup bar.

It's one of the heroes (used to be villains) from Robert's team. The z-team? or something, you've only heard some things from Robert when you two had a break and gossiped.

The taller woman doesn't seem to acknowledge you at first, focusing on pulling herself upwards and then downwards with ease, as if she weighed nothing.

Your eyes can only stare in awe at how her muscles in her arms- especially her biceps flex with each slow and controlled pull up. It's obvious she's fit, not just because of her muscles but also at her calm workout. She has a lot of body control that makes you feel just a bit jealous. You feel out of place now.

But you don't let your negativity get the best of you and walk into the gym, your feet already taking you to the Treadmill. Since your focus is losing weight, putting on muscles isn't really in your program. For the time being, at least.

You shoot a few quick and (not so) subtle glances towards the women, feeling a bit uneasy with a nonchalant giantess acting as if you don't exist, but at the same time it's what your anxious mind wanted. To be in your own space without prying eyes.

So, you place your backpack against the wall and take off the first layer of clothes. It's colder outside these days, so whenever you plan on going to the gym, you wear your gym-wear underneath the actual clothes. Stripping off of your jeans and sweater, you're finally ready!

Now in your tight leggings and sports jacket that hug your softer curves (you decide to ignore your insecure thoughts for now...), you start the treadmill on a low setting, a slow jog, to warm up.

For the whole time, even when you look straight ahead of you as you walk, you cannot ignore the feeling of the only women- aside from you, glaring into your soul. Or rather your running body.

You dare a side glance at the tall woman and notice how her tail sways left and right in slow and gentle rhythm, something so opposite to her rather intimating appearance. It's kinda cute.

That's when she finally meets your gaze too, her eyes have no pupils but you can still feel her heavy gaze on you.

Although she doesn't seem mad, a faint shiver runs down your spine. Because what if you just angered her?

Your thoughts are proofed wrong when she just seems to...observe you. With surprisingly curious eyes, instead of annoyed or angry. At the same time, she does one last pull up before her feet meet the ground with a soft thud.

"It's rude to stare." she breaks the silence between you two, while leaning against the machine with her arms crossed over her chest. Her voice indicates no sign of anger but she does seem annoyed.

"I didn't...mean to." your voice is a bit breathless, your warming up luckily is efficient, preparing your body slowly into the mood for a more intense cardio soon. "...you've been staring at me the whole time??" you add, your brows furrowed in frustration as the devil- or whoever she is, puts the blame on you.

This brings out a dismissive scoff from her lips, with her hand simultaneously reaching out for a 40kg dumbbell. "Really? That's all you have to say after eyeing me up?" This time the tone of her voice suggests... curiosity? Interest? whatever it is, you don't dare think too much of it and just continue your jog.

"I wasn't eyeing you up! I'm trying to workout here..." you defend yourself weakly. Your voice is not so sure as before, probably because she has a valid point. You were eyeing her up. Checking her out, mostly. Admiring her strength and muscles...it's a dream body far away for you.

"You should focus on running in intervals." her voice is controlled and not at all strained, even as she pulls up the heavy dumbbell for a biceps curl. With ease, again. Nobody asked for her advice but yet she just gives it out for free. Or perhaps your miserable self in the gym was a lost cause and she's trying to help your pathetic ass out.

"For what?" your finger presses the button on the treadmill to lower the speed, talking while jogging is getting you out of breath too fast. So switching to a faster walking pace, it is. This time, you can focus on admiring her tensing biceps too.

"To lose weight. Isn't that why you're here?" she assumes, and that assumption feels like a kick to your heart.

"So you're assuming that because of how I look?" Look at those horns of hers, being a devil suits her. Personality wise, at least. Your judgement is far stretched, but you feel personally attacked, it's only fair!

"...not in a judgmental way." she seats her tall frame down on the bench press seat. Her arm slowly curls upwards with the dumbbell, then holds the weight for a few seconds in the air before slowly releasing tension and easing back down.

All the while as she sits with her legs spread, elbow resting on her knee and her eyes locked against you.

"what are you? Satan? is that your power?" you're offended and it's obvious in your voice, defensive and shielding. Although your eyes are busy checking out her thighs, so full and strong- and her abs are so defined that the outline of her muscles are see-through even with her white tank top body covering most of her torso...

"Right now, I'm the little angel on your shoulder, trying to help a girl out." she appears to be amused by your offence. You can see the grin on her face while she puts the dumbbell down and walks over to you.

Right, an angel. All red and with horns. Makes sense. So rude for nothing- wait, is she coming over?! your judging thoughts turn to tension real quick, it's hard to read her intentions, especially since she used to be a literal villain. But she wouldn't just do something to you, right?? you hope so, at least.

Your dramatic and anxious mind was just plotting with the real deal, she simply came over to stand beside the treadmill you're on, like a trainer criticizing her students work. She even has the typical dad stance- her hands on her hips with her eyes following the movement of your feet.

"Ever heard of 'High-Intensity Interval Training'?" she asks you and doesn't even give you a chance to explain yourself. She simply reaches out to press the buttons on the treadmill, turning the speed all the way down to a simple walk pace.

"Hey, what are you-" she cuts you off right there, not even listening to you as she continues. Your feet have to follow the pace she set, which makes you able to catch your breath now, after the jog before.

"For beginners like you, you should focus on walking for a few minutes first." her hand pulls back from the buttons, now she walks around the treadmill and observes you. Your cheeks heat up at being given this much attention from someone, but as a lost cause in topics of gym and losing weight, you take any advice you can get. Even from demons.

For a few minutes, it falls silent and she just watches you as you walk on the low setting. Her eyes bore into every angle of you and usually you'd call anyone off who might come this close to you- maybe it's because of your insecurity of being seen, or the fact that this half-demon used to be a villain and you don't know her at all.

"Now that you're warmed up, a nice little jog." she nods towards the buttons, which makes your own hand reach out in response and follow her lead. "Not too fast. A comfortable jog." she adds and you nod along, increasing the speed enough that you're jogging now.

"This is supposed to be better than running?" your voice is slowly growing breathless, but you try to keep your breathing under control and measured. You read somewhere that breathing is just as important as the workout itself. Makes sense.

So, a bit motivated now thanks to a supposedly kind demon's help, you keep yourself upright and make steady, long strides on the moving treadmill. Your arms sway alongside the movement of your legs, trying to picture up a good stance for your new observer.

"Certainly." her arms cross and rest on the side of the treadmill, the pole where the runners can hold onto. "it's about how long you keep up, not the speed." her yellow orbs watch your every move like a hawk- probably to find anything to criticize you about. Maybe your form or breathing is off?

Although she does seem to be rather helpful here, she could also be looking out for you. So a girl's girl, huh?

when your starting to ever so slightly gasp for air, her finger once again presses the button. To switch the speed to the walking pace you had before. A feeling of gratitude swells up inside you, to have someone not judging your low stamina but helping and adjusting the workout to your beginner needs. "Do you get it now?" her voice asks expecting, a faint grin on her face. She probably enjoys being right. Well, who doesn't?

"Uh-huh." you hum thankfully, with this switch between slow walking and slightly jogging, even your unfit body can keep up. Her lesson makes sense, you were always trying to run as fast as you can and go all in without proper thoughts about what might be effective for you. "Thanks. You're nice, for a demon."

This makes her scoff in delight, before she corrects you with "half-demon.", while turning around to focus on her own work out. You don't know if it was on purpose or intentional, when her thin tail brushes ever so softly against your lower back, all the way from the base to the tapered tip, almost seductively.

You glance at her for a while- with wonder, hoping deep down that you'll encounter this half-demon more often at the gym, the beautiful view of her muscles are surely a motivation to keep going your own gym journey, using her stunning physique as inspiration and also just to admire her sweaty skin.

She meets your gaze and makes you turn your head away like a prey caught in bright lights, as she states: "You're staring again." however this time, you find yourself grinning back in return to yourself, even if slightly.

later, when practice ends early and the others peel off one by one, they give you those looks. grateful. apologetic. relieved. someone says, “text us if he gets worse, yeah?” like they’re doing you a favor by leaving.

felix doesn’t notice. or maybe he does and pretends not to. he presses closer to you on the couch in the dorm, shoulder warm against yours, breathing shallow and uneven.

“they have stuff to do,” he murmurs, as if reading your thoughts.

you swallow. nod.

you want to ask when you get to have stuff to do.

nights are the hardest. when he wakes up shaking from dreams he won’t describe, when his accent thickens and his words tangle and he presses his forehead to your shoulder like it’s the only thing keeping him upright.

you hold him. you always hold him.

and you don’t tell him how alone it makes you feel.

because loving felix means being reliable. steady. the one who doesn’t crack when he does. the one everyone trusts to carry him when he’s too heavy for himself.

one night, you overhear it by accident. hushed voices in the hallway. a member laughing quietly.

“it’s fine, y/n’s with him. they can handle it.”

handle it.

like he’s something to manage. like you’re built for this and nothing else.

you don’t go back inside right away. you stand there until the words settle somewhere ugly in your chest.

when you finally do, felix looks up from the couch, eyes soft.

“you okay?” he asks.

you nod again. you’re very good at nodding.

weeks pass like this. days blur. felix leans more, without meaning to. you grow quieter, without realizing it.

until one evening he reaches for you and you don’t move fast enough.

it’s barely a pause. a second too long.

but he notices.

“did i do something?” he asks, voice small, careful.

you open your mouth. close it. the truth feels too sharp to put in his hands.

no, you didn’t do anything. everyone else did.

instead you say, “i’m just tired.”

he freezes. the words sound different coming from you.

guilt floods his face, immediate and crushing. he pulls back like he’s been burned.

“i’m sorry,” he says again, softer this time. “i didn’t mean to make it all… my problem.”

you reach for him then. too late.

it hits you at once: being chosen last didn’t just leave you alone.

it taught him he was something people got stuck with.

and you don’t know which of you that hurts more.

"Listen 'cause I'm preaching to the choir. Can I get the mic a little higher?"

Was this your seventh time listening to the addictive song that spread throughout social media like wildfire? Yes, it was.

It had already been a month, and the new K-pop boy band called the Saja Boys had topped the charts, surpassing BTS, NCT, or whatever letters you did not know about. You were new to K-pop, having only listened to a couple of songs in general. You were more familiar with NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys, and perhaps One Direction at best. When it came to music groups, you assumed that the Saja Boys would come and go.

You thought wrong.

Soda Pop and Your Idol played constantly in people’s minds. You figured that the songs were designed to do so, but when you heard their songs at the gym, in the supermarket, and on the radio, you gradually grew concerned. It did not help that the men were hot. It was almost as if they were sirens, beckoning fans to their demise. But that was crazy, right? Just your imagination…

You decided not to dwell on the dread that night, so you lay down on your bed, stopped the song on your phone, and drifted off to sleep.

You woke up to the sound of knocking. Sitting up straight on your bed, you turned to your bedroom window, the night sky glowing an eerie purple and pink, but you figured it was just a weird sunset. When the knocking continued, you called out groggily, “Coming!”

Standing up, you shuffled out of your room and stopped in front of your door, yawning, “Who is it?”

A friendly, masculine voice answered in a muffled tone, "Good evening. I was wondering if you could help us. We’re lost, and we have never been to this city before. Could you guide us in the right direction?”

“Sure. And who am I speaking to?” Sleepily, you opened your door but kept the chain on it just in case it was someone suspicious.

“Your new biggest fans.” You found five men standing in the hallway, wearing casual pastel clothing and soft smiles on their faces. When they took individual poses in unison, a vocalized harmony played in your mind. Your eye twitched as you immediately recognized the men before you.

The Saja Boys.

Without missing a beat, you smiled nervously. “Excuse me for one second.” You gently and slowly shut the door, ensured all the locks were in place, and then rushed into your room where you grabbed your cell phone from the bedside table and dialed immediately.

"Hello, 911? Five strangers are barging into my home. Send help!" You whispered into the phone. To your dismay, instead of a person or an automated voice message, a familiar tune blared from the phone.

"You're all I can think of every drop I drink up. You're my soda pop. My little soda pop!"

You hung up. They had taken over the authorities.

The knocking returned fervently.

The same voice that greeted you called your name, saying, “We’re respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting our authority as your idols by coming in anyway!”

WHAM!

You heard the cracking of metal and wood, and foolishly, you poked your head out of the room to find the men now in your living room with your front door out of its hinges. They all smiled casually as if they had not broken your door down.

“Who are you and how do you know my name?!” You demanded to know, conflicted with how to react to the handsome invaders. The man with short black hair, who looked average in comparison to his companions, stepped forward.

"I'm sorry. Let me introduce myself. I'm Jinu, and these are the Saja Boys: Abby, Romance, Baby, and Mystery. We're demons, and the world, as you know, belongs to us now."

“Demons?” You blinked. You did not believe that for a second, although it did explain why they would know your name. You questioned if that was true, so why would they admit it in the first meeting? … Unless they had already won. You did not want to fathom such a reality. Either this was a prank, good cosplay, or they were the real Saja Boys. You took no chances as you stood up and attempted to be brave about it.

"Even if that were true, what does that have to do with me? And why are you taller than normal?" You rubbed your eyelids a little to notice that the men’s heights had changed so that every Saja Boy was taller than you by a foot or two.

Jinu chuckled, "Don't worry. Both questions have the same answer. There have been spikes in desires and energies in this area. A strong soul that affects our power. We call them Special Souls. They ground us and give us a boost in power. The greater the power, the more effective it would be. You smell delicious, and we can't let someone as powerful as you run away, especially towards Huntrix. So, we're taking you now."

You slightly blushed, your eyes twitching at the thought that your soul was apparently effective enough to cause demons to grow. “I have no choice in the matter, do I?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, look, they’re making a funny face! That’s cute~” Baby crooned in delight, smirking when you gave him a look that you wanted to strangle him. What was this: a fanfiction situation like those stories of parents selling their children to bands?

“But first, we’re taking everything you own to our mansion,” Jinu spoke up, causing you to do a double-take.

“Wait, what?”

"I call dibs on the games!" Baby cried out as he immediately dove to the other side of the living room, cheering at all the consoles and a stash of board games in the area. "A Switch, 3DS, Wii U, Xbox 360, PlayStation 2, Nintendo 64, and a Game Boy Advance? I hit the jackpot tonight!"

Abby had gone to one of your closets, whistling in an impressive tone. "A treadmill? We will use this more often! And you need proper weights." He started taking out weighted dumbbells.

"Don't worry, darling. You'll thank us for the organizational makeover later. Your library needs a separate room!" Romance called out from your bedroom. Before your eyes, your possessions disappeared one by one in pink wisps.

“No, no, no, this can’t be happening. That’s not yours to take!” You got up on your feet and tried to save your belongings, but they vanished before you could touch them, and Jinu gently held you back.

Suddenly, a meow coming from the hallway stopped you in your tracks.

“Hey, not my cat!” You cried in worry, fearing the worst. “Gumball, it’s going to be okay, sweetie! Don’t panic!”

Gumball, your one-eyed male Tuxedo cat, was held by Mystery, who looked as nonchalant as ever. Instead of fear or anger, Gumball curled up in Mystery's arms and purred, rubbing his head against him. Mystery purred back and rubbed behind Gumball's ears with a small smile on his face. You figured cats were naturally attuned to the supernatural, so it did not surprise you.

"Don't worry. Your pet will be in good hands." Jinu promised before he whistled softly. Just when you thought things could not get weirder, the floor started to glow blue as a giant tiger head popped up from the hole, carrying a six-eyed magpie wearing a tiny hat. Before you could question it, Mystery placed Gumball onto the tiger's head next to the bird. Both felines purred while the magpie watched in silence, then the three dove back into the disappearing hole.

What in Spirited Away and Howl’s Moving Castle was this?

Jinu placed both his hands on your shoulders as he explained calmly, "Now that we have it out of the way, let's discuss the process. To bond with us as a special soul, you must be consumed literally. You won’t die if that’s what you’re worried about, but it is an unusual experience. We will not harm you, and we will make it as gentle as possible since you're our biggest fan.”

Reluctantly, you nodded. "I understand. Before you do what you need to do, may I freshen up and have a moment to say goodbye to my old home?"

"Of course. Go right ahead." Jinu smiled, satisfied that you accepted your fate as you went to the other side of the house without another word. He sighed happily. "Hmm. I like it when things go smoothly--"

“They escaped.” Mystery spoke matter-of-factly as the five demons craned their necks to the open window and the fire escape with overturned plant pots nearby.

"I knew the gentle but honest approach might be our downfall," Abby commented.

"Of course they did." Jinu hummed before he suddenly smirked at an idea popping into his head. "Boys, why don't we give our number one fan a performance they'll never forget?"

All five pairs of eyes glistened in demonic excitement.

With a racing heart and burning lungs, you slid down the fire escape and ran until you reached a street corner where you found a taxicab waiting for a passenger. Without thinking about it, you opened the cab door, forced yourself inside, and closed it as the car floored it down the street. Seemingly safe, you leaned back in your seat and groaned.

"Thank you for showing up! You saved my life from getting eaten by demons."

"Don't be so sure about that." The driver tilted a rear-view mirror to reveal a monstrous face with orange skin and golden eyes glancing at you. Your eye twitched before you whimpered, slumped into your seat, and covered your eyes in defeat.

The demon chuckled while rolling his eyes, "Just be glad the Saja Boys are after you. You'd be a goner if Gwi-Ma were interested."

You did not want to know who this Gwi-Ma was, so another question left your lips.

"Where are you taking me?"

"This would explain. For you." He handed you a folded letter, which you opened and read immediately:

Dear Special Soul, Our Biggest Fan, let’s play a game. We shall give you fifteen minutes after you are dropped off to hide. When time is up, we will appear and chase you. Whoever can wrap his hands around you first will get to have you. Do not escape the city. We have it surrounded. Good luck~ Jinu. 

Whoever this Jinu was, he made you wish you could punch his invisible smug face as you crumpled up the letter. The demon taxi driver took you into the heart of downtown before opening the door, and an unknown force pulled you out before the taxi closed and drove off.

You were on your own. Seeing that the city was devoid of sound or people, you decided to investigate briefly as you searched for a hiding spot. You passed by a bus stop where a woman sat on a bench, staring off into the air. First, you waved your hand in front of her face, then snapped your fingers. Nothing. After glancing around the area for other people nearby, you assumed everyone was stuck in a trance, and then you left. Once you were further into the city, you stopped to take deep breaths.

"This is the most agonizing and exciting apocalypse I've ever been in." You concluded to yourself, attempting to calm down. "It's okay. You can survive this! It's just five mini-gigantic guys that happen to look cute. It can't get worse than that."

Four notes that sounded like church bells rang into the air as you turned to the eerie presence that you felt washing over you and your town.

The Saja Boys floated above the city, their heights ranging from 50 to 70 feet. They wore black hanboks, gats, shoes, and unique accessories that gave an ominous presence. Their skin ranges in hues of magenta, fuchsia, and red with intricate violet patterns. All their eyes were golden and demonic. It came down to one conclusion you wailed upon.

"Oh no, they're HOT!"

You knew your interests would be your downfall. You stared at the giant demons, wondering what they would do first, and you did not believe that they would make things worse for you any more than they did already. As if the universe came to mock you, Jinu snapped his fingers, and each boy lifted their head in attention and sequence.

"No one..." Baby growled.

"... does it..." Romance purred.

"... better..." Abby crooned.

"... than..." Mystery sang.

"... me." Jinu finished smugly.

“What the--?” You almost choked on your saliva. They were going to sing A NEW SONG?! JUST FOR YOU?! Fearing for your life, you booked it down the sidewalk and through the shadows of the city.

As you ran, the Saja Boys descended to the ground, their feet silent as they landed on the small streets below them. They walked as if striding through one of those small city replicas, harmonizing, "I'm not afraid to give you."

"Any less than all of me." Jinu stretched out his arm, his claws beckoning to you, but you kept on moving until you bumped into something large and hard. A snarl sounded from above as if it were a wolf the size of an elephant growling. You glanced to see Mystery leaning against a building nonchalantly, tilting his head toward you.

"Girl, I would never give you," Mystery sang while waving a finger at you. You backed up, then yelped when you felt breathing on your back.

"Promises that I can't keep." Romance's face was near you, upside-down as he flexed his back far enough to hold in that playful position while holding his hands together close to his chest. You ran off in a different direction.

As you jogged down the street, you quickly typed on your phone, "How to get rid of demons from KoreaAAAAAAAAH!" You shrieked when avoiding the swiping claws from Baby, who laughed in a musical tone while he and the others sang together.

"Find another, delete my number. Told yourself you don't got it bad."

Spotting a building nearby, you rushed in to hide on one of the floors and prepare yourself for any demon repellents the internet would provide you with. You doubted that you were powerful enough, as Jinu said you were, even though you did not notice how fast you were running, nor the energy you had to dodge them.

"But on the low, though, I think we both know..." To show that he was not just a handsome face, Abby pushed two skyscrapers to the side as he stepped forward and sang, "I'm the best that you'll ever have!"

The demons looked around the area, not spotting you at first until Jinu examined one of the buildings, sensing your soul. With a sly smile, he smoothly approached the tall building.

"I'll give you forever, so take all the time you need~" Jinu sang as he stepped up to search for you from one of the floors of the building. He found you sitting in a large circle of salt in a room, holding a crucifix in each hand.

“Stay back! I mostly know how to use these!” You warned, attempting to be brave about the ordeal as you stared out the window at the golden eye. There was a pause before a long claw phased through the brick wall, passed the salt barrier, and patted your head softly.

“Wrong religion~” Jinu cooed with a smirk.

You screamed and threw the crucifixes, dashing away before Jinu could grab at you. “The Supernatural television shows failed me!” You ran down the hallway, threw yourself out of an open window, and landed on the rooftop of the next-door building, witnessing the destruction of the building you just escaped from. As you rushed off to get distance, you found the giant demons in five directions, dancing smoothly while trying to corner you.

"Cause no one does it better than me. Go ahead and try to find someone, but I guarantee they won't change your mind."

Getting overwhelmed, you searched for a route that would help your survival, hopping onto what you thought was another rooftop, but it was made from softer material. You then realized that you were on the rim of Baby’s gat.

"You'll realize," Baby smirked as he reached to grab you, and the others vocalized in response, but you dodged the claws and slid onto a girder from a construction site that made you think of cartoons briefly before going back to flight mode.

"There's only one me, and you can't hide!" Jinu sang out cheerfully, pointing a beckoning claw to your direction. 

You hopped from beam to beam, hoping to find a safer way down. You were too busy running to notice purple patterns appearing all over your body, shimmering under the moonlight.

"No one does it better than me."

As you reached the top of the unfinished building, your patterns glowed a faint magenta while a voice purred into your mind: You're alone now with no one to save or care for you. Why you of all people? So weak and small. Don't worry. We'll care for you.

You almost tripped as a sudden force pulled you back, holding you in position as if someone held your limbs in place. You then noticed the glowing patterns on your arms in confusion. Before you could question yourself,

"No one does it better than me!"

Five large hands reached for you at the same time, and you did not have to turn around to know that they were there. The giant demons grabbed at you like selfish children fighting for a new toy to play with, or in better terms, the last snack. However, their hold was careful and calculated enough not to squeeze your body too much.

“There you are! You made us work up an appetite to get to you.”

“You are so adorable, I can't wait to gobble you up!”

"Mine, mine, mine!"

"That was a good game you played, special soul. It's fun with you around."

“They’re making funny faces again~”

It was one of your worst nightmares: five giant hot demons wanting and praising you like you were a precious little one. Then, Romance addressed the elephant in the room, “So, who gets to eat them first?” All demons stared at each other with narrowed eyes

"Well, we can't all eat them at the same time!" Baby snapped.

Abby piped up, “We could fuse into one being to make it fair?”

“Nah, maybe another time. Besides, the soul is about to have a heart attack.” Mystery shook his head as he motioned to you hyperventilating and shaking like a leaf. After a moment, the Saja Boys proceeded to decide in a civilized manner rather than like demonic piranha.

Four demons ended up playing Rock, Paper, Scissors for you. Mystery decided to opt out and hold onto you instead, his quiet aura calming you down somewhat. Baby and Jinu were at a stalemate until Jinu won two out of three. Baby mumbled curses in the background while the others agreed with the decision since Jinu was the leader. You found yourself held by the waist as Mystery lifted you higher, Jinu’s head below you.

By now, you were exhausted and overwhelmed. Souls? Giant demons? Patterns? That mysterious gravely voice in your mind? The fact that five K-Pop Idols were watching you like you were significant with one feeding you to the other like boyfriends do… it was so much too fast.

“Wait, wait, wait! Can’t we just talk about this?! I mean, I get it: demons want souls, this is terrifying and hot at the same time, and I’m probably like a snack to you, but there’s no other way to do the Special Soul thing?! How do I know that you won’t keep your promise—” You began to reason out of getting devoured while struggling in Mystery’s grip when Jinu opened his mouth that made you freeze.

Jinu’s mouth reminded you of a tiger’s maw with fangs to match and a wide tongue with feline papillae, but that was not why you stopped. His tongue also had glowing patterns that resembled words.

“Is that my full name in my language glowing right there?”

Jinu’s smug, open grin made you want to kick a tooth out if you were not so scared or weak. With a chuckle, he replied, “Welcome home~”

Then you fell right on top of his tongue. It felt moist and the type of surface that was hard and sturdy if rubbed in one direction. The tongue pushed you in different directions, including at the roof of his mouth, moans surrounding you that came from the giant who held you in his mouth and the spectators outside. To make things worse, Jinu’s mouth was kept open for the rest of the Saja Boys to see. Covered in saliva, you slipped as you attempted to crawl and reach an arm out to escape…

… only for Jinu to tilt his head back and swallow. With a loud gulp, you slid to the back of the throat and descended to the esophagus. The only sources of light you had were the patterns on your body and what could be best described as blue waves in the air and space around you that extended beyond Jinu’s body and the city. You did not know what it was, but when you fell into an open area and landed roughly inside his stomach, you saw the waves turn pink before shattering into tiny pieces. The slimy walls around you had patterns just like you and the demons had. You raised your arms, planning to pound at the walls and beg to be let out when your adrenaline ran out. You drifted off to sleep, hearing deep murmurs from outside, and seeing a glimpse of pink fire before passing out.

You woke up in bed with a slight gasp, your cat Gumball nestled next to your head. It was all a dream. You were safe. You were okay. No pain at all on or in your body. The nightmare was over, and you were free. Crying happy tears, you nuzzled your head against Gumball’s fur… not noticing the luxurious suite you were in, the king-sized bed you slept on, and the patterns on your skin that shifted into symbols that marked who you belonged to: The Saja Boys.