“Haley!” You seethed, teeth grinding together as you rounded every corner in the farmhouse. You knew she wasn’t fond of you tracking mud through the house but you couldn’t find it in you to care as you trekked through your bedroom, the cellar, your living room, in any and all attempts to find her. In town you had stopped by the fountain she so often found herself in front of the first couple of years you had lived in Pelican Town. She was still fond of the spot you knew, but less now that the community center was remodeled and foot traffic increased. 

Where was she?

Letting out a frustrated scream, you tripped over your own boots as you exited the way you came in, not even bothering to close the door this time. You had other priorities. Heading towards the stable, you found Haley sitting beside the sunflower field you had grown especially for her. She looked at peace, her full lips quirking up at the edges as she mused over something on her hand. You couldn’t quite make it out but it was shimmering, delicate, expensive. 

“Haley”, you uttered again, this time the wind was knocked out of you. Seeing her with that gentle smile on her face offset the boiling of your blood but not enough to derail you from the hurt and anxiety you were currently feeling. 

Her blue eyes locked onto yours and the second they did, her full lips pointed downward. “Y/N? What’s wro-”

“I couldn’t buy crops today.” 

It was the first day of spring in the fourth year of your residence in Pelican Town. The snow had finally left the valley after a cruel winter. The cold had persisted longer than the last year and you were met with several damages to your fences, barn, and sheds because of the warring weather. Repairs had nearly drained your account dry. Haley had held you all winter, warming your numb fingers in her hands after long days of work. She had listened when you spoke of your fears, of not having the funds to get the animals hay or the bus ticket to Calico Desert where you could find some work in the skull caverns. She knew, and you thought that meant everything would be fine. 

Bugs beginning to buzz around the tulip pot you had set up on the porch just yesterday afternoon. You had woken up this morning with a game plan, and excitement in your bones. You knew exactly what crops you’d be getting from Pierre and in what way you would organize them. You knew what needed to be tended to in the greenhouse and what you would plant out front with the sprinklers. Everything had been meticulously calculated to give you a strong start to the beginning of the year. 

This was the year you were going to breathe, the year you weren’t going to go to the ocean and fish sun up to sun down just so you could sell some sardines to Willy to get through the week. This was supposed to be it. 

“Oh! Darling I’m sorry, was Pierre out?” 

Your heart gave a painful tug. Even now, she was in her own world, pretty eyes concerned but fingers still toying with whatever she had bought this time. The frustration was gnawing at you and left you feeling restless as you stood and stared at Haley. How was she so unaware of the situation after you’d spent the entire winter physically and emotionally exhausted? 

In a fit of desperation you kicked at the ground, nearly slipping when you hit a softer patch, mud spraying out beneath your boot. You were too busy trying to right your balance that you nearly missed the sharp intake of breath from your beloved. 

“Y/N! What the hell?” Was her shocked reaction to the mud that now stained her silken pink skirt. You’d seen that expression a thousand times before you two had even thought about dating. Her eyebrows were knit together and her lips pressed together in a thin line. 

“I don’t know what’s got you in such a rotten mood! You woke up just fine. Don’t make it my problem because Pierre isn’t working today.” 

You wanted to kiss those lips but you also wanted to scream.

“I should be asking you that! What the hell have you been buying? I got to Pierre’s today and he had the pleasure of watching me open our empty wallet! So, Haley, I think I get to ask you: What. The. Hell?” 

Despite your desire, your voice wasn’t much more than a whisper. Her flushed cheeks, now from anger and not the sun that had been bathing her and the flowers earlier, drained of all color. 

“I- You see.... Empty?” 

Your wife struggled for words, eyes blown wide but confusion marring them. And then, guilt. Her hands unfolded, presenting an aquamarine pendant. Haley gulped heavily. 

“On my way back from taking some photos, I stopped at the traveling cart. It was so beautiful I couldn’t resist!” 

“Please think of someone but yourself for once!” 

The words were ugly but were leaving your mouth before you could soften them. You didn’t regret them, but you hadn’t meant to cut her with the sharpness of your tone. You loved Haley, of course you did, she was your wife and world. However, she was also selfish. You had known this from day one and it was something you had grown to almost find endearing about her. Your princess. And that she was. A total princess. 

Her mouth was gaping, eyes growing watery. It was a sight you hated to see more than any other. You’d let a thousand rock crabs cut you before you’d sit and watch her cry. Letting out a deep breath you tried to ground yourself. 

“I thought you knew what we were up against this year,” You choked up, eyes also beginning to fill with tears. “I don’t know how many times I confided in you princess, this last season nearly took the farm from us. I almost had to sell the pigs because they were just more mouths to feed and you know they can’t provide for us in the winter...” 

Haley chewed on her lips, the pendant forgotten in the grass below her now. You couldn’t help but feel another pang. Something she had to have without a second thought of anything, of you, was now laying in the dirt and forgotten. You understood that wasn’t what she was saying as she offered you all of her undivided attention but you were feeling sore, bitter, scared. 

“I’ll go and sell it right now!” She cried out, scrambling to the ground to pick it up. It really was a gorgeous piece of jewelry, delicate silver work encased the gem and it was the exact shade of Haley’s luminous eyes. “Clint will give a fair price! And....and I can help you plant today!”

It was a kind effort with how deeply she disliked the dirt. Even now her eyes scanned over her skirt even if she didn’t realize the micro expressions she had between apologies. 

“I didn’t think Y/N... I can’t even find any excuses. I knew how bad it was, but it alway seemed so far away. You’ve just taken such good care of me that I didn’t feel like we were in need. I always have everything, I didn’t think you might be going without, even when times were tough.” 

It was so brutally honest that your anger was melting into a sad acceptance. Haley was selfish, but she also had a good heart. And you had tried for years to give everything to that heart, to fill it full and never leave it empty. She loved pretty things, you gave them to her. You could remember that for her birthday your first year in town you had held onto a diamond from the mines. You had known that it would be much better to sell it and set yourself up a bit more comfortably but you’d had no regrets once you’d seen her utter joy at her present. It had been what had gotten her to warm up to you, however minute that warming up was, in the beginning. 

“I never want you to feel like you aren’t being cared for but this was huge for me Haley... I don’t want to make you get rid of the pendant because you love it but I need to feel like you are with me for the farm and the lifestyle and the struggles, not just with me for what I can provide you. I want you adorned in jewels and fine clothes and I want only smiles on your face-”

“But what’s the point if we can’t both have those things.” She finished your thought before you’d even had it fully formed. Tears had spilled from her pretty eyes, leaving her cheeks damp and pale. Her hands shook as she reached for you, a new understanding dawning on her. 

“Y/N, I am so sorry.” Every word was stressed with so much emotion you had no problem believing her. She hiccuped with distress once, twice, then continued, “When we said our vows I was promising to be in this with you but I see now I’ve been spoiled this whole time. Will you forgive me? I promise I will fix this.”

Drawing her closer into your arms, emotions finally settling in your chest, you pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. You loved her and you knew without a doubt she loved you. Your frustrations weren’t gone, and you two would need a serious talk after this, but for now daylight was passing you by and you two had come to an understanding. 

“I’ll walk you to Clint’s and then we can work on the farm together,” 

When I meet the Wizard. Once I prove my worth. And then I meet the Wizard. What I've waited for since, since birth. And with all his Wizard wisdom. By my looks, he won't be blinded. Do you think the Wizard is dumb? Or like Munchkins so small-minded? No, he'll say to me I see who you truly are. A girl on whom I can rely. And that's how we'll begin. The Wizard and I.

When you first moved to Pelican Town, you were immediately curious about the old wizards tower on the edge of the woods. Everyone around you brushed it off when you asked about it, telling you to stay away or that the man inside was insane or a hermit. The only people who didn’t talk down on him were Merlin, who felt neutral about the mysterious man, Abigail who thought he was the coolest thing in the town, Linus who liked him, and Caroline who acted suspiciously and had nothing to say. Needless to say your curiosity in him grew.

It took weeks before you could finally meet him, weeks that you didn’t know could be spent getting to meet him quicker. You liked the old community center, but held off on going in until you had made yourself comfortable in your new home. If you would’ve known that he would contact you the second you had gone in there with Lewis you would’ve asked about it much sooner. Your heart thumps in your chest as you grip onto the strange letter that was put into your mailbox.

His tower is smaller than you thought, not taking up as much space as you assumed a tower would. As you climb up the steps, your heartbeat quickens. You’re actually going to meet him, you’re going to meet a real life wizard that will actually help you hone in your skills rather than having to learn alone. His garden is small, and has only a single large cauliflower in it, but you stop anyway. It’s a marvel to look at, and you needed to calm down before you made a fool of yourself. Breathing in, you take large steps towards his door, bringing a hand up to knock.

Your knuckles don’t even touch the wood of the door before it creaks open by itself, the lack of light somewhat intimidating you. Maybe he just didn’t turn the light on in the entrance of his home. You step in silently, spinning as the door closes softly behind you. “Hello?” You call out, walking in with steps so small that you might as well have stayed in the same place. A deep rumbling voice pierces your ears and makes your heart flutter.

“Hurry up, enter, we have many things to talk about.” Your heart pounds as you rush further into his home.

The living room is larger than you thought it would be, open and only having a large cauldron as the furniture. The walls held nothing of sentimental value, instead bookcases line the walls, the only real decoration being a rug under the cauldron. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m the new farmer that moved in on the old farm north of you.”

You are taken aback by his appearance. His hair and beard a vibrant purple, very similar to Abigail’s hair. His hat sat atop his head, covering it and the hair that flowed from beneath it, it looked almost like a cowboy hat, but revamped to look cooler. God, you were expecting an old man with grays everywhere and a wizard's hat so goofy that you would have to stop yourself from laughing.

His dark eyes flicker up to look at you for a second before going back to watch whatever he was brewing. He doesn’t bother to return your pleasantries, instead he moves away from the cauldron to stand in front of you, staring down without saying anything. You want to cut through the silence by saying something, but saying something might make him dislike you, he didn’t seem like the type to enjoy jokes, or small talk. “You may call me Rasmodius. I am Seeker of the arcane truths, mediary between physical and ethereal. Master of the seven elementals. I have so many more titles, but I'm sure you get the point.”

You nod quickly, immediately taken with his confidence and air of importance. You wanted that for yourself, not in an evil way. You didn’t want to boast or brag. You just wanted to feel good about yourself, you wanted a reason to feel confident and important. “I have long foreseen your arrival, Farmer. I have been waiting a long time for you to get here.”

Your breathing stutters. He has been waiting for you? For a while? You just blink at him in shock. You hadn’t even known when you were coming here that there would be someone like you…someone that exceeded natural limitations and is something more. And here he is, telling you that he already knew you were going to end up here, as if it’s your destiny or something. “Here, I’d like to show you something.”

He moves back away from you, towards the circle on the floor. The candles are already lit, and before he moves again he sends a smirk your way. “Behold!”

A flash of light burns your eyes for a split second before you see the very thing that you had seen back in the community center. It quite obviously wasn’t a rat like Lewis had tried to convince you of, but you had no idea what it actually could be. It was green and tiny, bouncing on small feet as if it were an idle video game character. It’s…cute! It makes a high pitched noise, eyes flickering between you and the wizard. “You’ve seen one before…haven’t you?” He asks.

“Yes, sir, in the community center.”

“And before that?”

“I can’t say that I have.” For a second he looks disappointed in you, and you want to change your answer and claim to have forgotten. But maybe he values honesty more than lies to seem cooler, you know you do. The thing makes another high pitched noise, snapping you out of your inner turmoil.

“They call themselves ‘Junimos’,” he chuckles for a second, eyes not leaving the tiny creature, “Mysterious spirits, these ones…for some reason, they refuse to speak with me.” His eyebrow quirks up, and the Junimo disappears after he does something with his hands.

He smiles at you, freezing your heart in place, then melting it. You felt warm inside, he made you feel warm inside. “I’m not sure why they’ve moved into the community center, but you have no reason to fear them.”

You move closer to him, to the source of warmth, and open your mouth to speak. “I…um. I found a golden scroll inside the community center, but it was written in a language I don’t understand. What should I do?”

“A golden scroll in an unknown language…most interesting…” his eyes light up and he snaps his fingers causing you to flinch. “Stay here. I’m going to see for myself. Don’t worry, I’ll return shortly.”

You frown at him, he was going to just leave you in his home? It will probably take at least an hour and a half to walk to the community center from here, and the same amount of time back. Were you supposed to just sit here? Before you could protest, the man spins himself around quickly, immediately disappearing from your view. What the fuck?

You spin around, trying to see if he’s tricked you or something, but you’re met with an empty house. You let out a breath, letting your lungs empty themselves from the anxiety that built up while you were in his presence.

As you breathe, the door behind you rattles, causing you to turn much too quickly that it causes you to get dizzy. All Rasmodius does is chuckle at your clumsiness. He moves towards the cauldron, smiling to himself. “I found the note…”

“That’s good! Were you able to read it?”

“The language is obscure, but I was able to decipher it: We, the Junimo, are happy to aid you. In return, we ask for gifts of the valley. If you are one with the forest then you will see the true nature of this scroll.”

You frown, obviously you weren’t one with the forest. You were a witch that had no idea how to use your powers, and lacked skills from the lack of a teacher. Now your ignorance was exposed because you weren’t ‘one with the forest.’ Before you could open your mouth to say something, Rasmodius spoke first.

“Hmm…’one with the forest’…what do they mean?”

He stood there silent for a minute, the only sound coming from him was the sniffling of his nose. “Ah-ha! Come here!” He beckons you over with a large grin. You immediately comply, rushing to his side to stand in front of the bubbling cauldron. The green mist coming from it smells nice, it smells like the earth and dirt. He grips your shoulders in excitement, it sends a wave of shock through your body. He was touching you? He had to have had a breakthrough or something.

“My cauldron is bubbling with ingredients from the forest. Baby fern, moss grub, caramel-top toadstool…! Can you smell it?” He pushes you closer to the mist, letting you breathe in the scent once more. He grabs a ladle and dips it into the cauldron, bringing up murky liquid and pouring it into a cup.

“Here, drink up. Let the essence of the forest permeate your body.”

You frown, not really wanting to drink first juice, but then again you didn’t want him to be disappointed in you. You’re a witch for god's sake! Drinking weird potions came with the label. He hands you the cup, and you stare down into it, breathing in deeply to try and calm yourself down. Swallowing the saliva in your mouth, you bring the cup up to your mouth and tilt it back.

The liquid is thicker than you would’ve liked, but for a second you felt fine. Your stomach rumbles, and you are overcome with the urge to vomit, you suck down gulps of air, only making the feeling worse as the taste was less than pleasant. Did you really just drink something random from his cauldron without an ounce of doubt? You hold your belly, trying to hold the vomit down, and the air around you turns green, as if the mist started filling the air while you were preoccupied. Your vision blurs and sways as you swallow down the spit that’s accumulating in your mouth. All you can see is green after a moment, and that fills you with panic.

The feeling subsided after five whole minutes, five horrible minutes, then your body vibrates in a way that confuses you. You can feel the air around you change, you can feel the earth in a way you haven’t before. Oh! You’ve gained the power of forest magic! Cool! Sucks that the potion tasted like ass.

Rasmodius starts shuffling you out of his tower, and you want to cry. Sure this is what you came for, but you still wanted to speak with him more. It almost felt like he was using you to communicate with the Junimos.

“When you finish gifting the Junimos, come tell me. Until then, don’t bother me.”

It took weeks, months, almost an entire year for you to gather everything to restore the community center. It took so much energy that you wanted to give up before you could complete anything. Sure farming was easy enough, but how are you supposed to make a living when the Junimos want everything that is the best quality? All you could do was remind yourself that you had to prove your worth in order to get Rasmodius to like you, to prove that you are worthy of teaching, worthy of someone enjoying your presence.

So you farm, dig, fish, barter, all for things to gift to the Junimos so they would in turn help the community. Every completed bundle you would hope you would find something, maybe a letter, in your mailbox from Rasmodius. No letter ever came. Yet you persist. You continue gifting, and the Junimos continue restoring things around the community center and the town. Eventually you bring the community tiger, you get Pam her old job back, you make the town a better place to live in, a warmer place to live in. Hell, you did so good that Joja Corporation left the town fully, not seeing any bright future when the small town was now tight knit to shop anywhere other than from someone within the community. Still, no letter came.

You befriend the Junimos during that time, laughing every time one or more of them come out to follow you around the community center. Their voices too quiet for you to catch more than a couple words, it didn’t scare you though, they were too friendly to try to hurt you. They were sweet, cute, almost like very smart pets that could understand exactly what you say. You could never keep one though, it seemed wrong. They seemed to like you enough, sometimes even helping out at the farm without you having to ask. Life was good without him, but there was still that nagging feeling that you needed to be around him. Maybe it was a crush, maybe it was the want to be better, it didn’t really matter, he didn’t wish to see you anyways.

Until he did…

You got a letter in the mail on a random weekday, asking for you to bring him some void essence that he could have. Your heart pounded with excitement that he had finally reached out. You spent all day down in the mines, cutting down monsters with your sword so energetically that you had to leave only after a couple of hours having run yourself ragged. Still, he wanted to see you, and maybe he would be happy when you brought him more than he needed.

The very next day you hurry to his tower, void essence in a cute little bag, just for him. Like with everyone else’s houses, you just walk in spotting him next to the cauldron, just like he was the last time you had seen him. “I have the void essence you wanted…”

His eyes meet yours and for a second you feel small under his gaze until he smiles at you, moving with his hands outstretched for the bag. You hand it over quickly, watching as he takes a bit of the essence out of the bag and plops it right into the cauldron. A purplish black smoke fills the air, causing the both of you to start coughing violently.

“Well,” he coughs, waving a hand around, “guess I should be glad that you brought me a bagful.”

His laughter makes you feel better, he didn’t hate you at all! Maybe he just needed to focus on his magic. “I finished restoring the community center with the help of the Junimos…” you start. You didn’t want to fade into an uncomfortable silence before he kicked you out again. You at least wanted to ask him if he could train you.

“I've seen. You’ve done good work bringing the community together. Did you ever find out anything about the Junimos?”

“No, not really. They’re just sweet little creatures that enjoy nature.”

“I see…” his eyes get a glaze over them as he falls back into his mind, and you watch in confusion. Were you supposed to be finding something out? God, you fucked up everything, huh?

“They have to have a little power though, right? They fixed the minecarts and the bus. I didn’t really have to rebuild anything in the community center; they did it all themselves overnight.”

He nods at your words, and the both of you once again fall into silence. “So um, I was wondering…if um…” Rasmodius doesn’t look up as you stutter over your words, and while it somewhat helps that he isn’t staring at you as you’re trying to ask, it sort of hurts that he isn’t really paying attention after you’ve (somewhat) gathered up the courage to ask him literally anything. “If you could, um, be my mentor? Teach me how to use magic? I mean, I’m already a witch, so it’s not like you’re starting from scratch, I just need help concentrating on using my powers, and potions, and…stuff.”

“Huh?” He finally looks up, only for a second, right into your eyes, “oh, sure. Be here next week at 9 pm.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you stare at him. Surprise crawls it’s way up your spine, he agreed way more easily than you thought he would. “Oh! Okay! See you next week!” You grin and walk out of his tower, your steps threaten to turn into hops as giddiness runs its course through your body.

Things are starting to look up.

A cloud of green smoke puffs up from the cauldron and into your lungs, you cough loudly as you fan your hand in the air, trying to get the rest of the smoke away from you. “And what did you do wrong?” Rasmodius asks, an unhappy look adorning his features. You frown sheepishly, embarrassment filling your body.

“I think I didn’t mix fast enough?” You question. It was hard to know what you were doing wrong when all you could focus on was not fucking up, and not disappointing him. With your luck you managed to do both.

“No!” His frown deepened, his dark eyes fixed into a glare. “You mixed too quickly, and too many times! The recipe says to mix 26 times counterclockwise at a moderate pace, then mix 38 times clockwise at a slow pace! You did all 64 one way and too quickly!”

“I’m sorry-“

“You need to pay more attention. It’s as if you’re not taking this seriously!”

Your heart drops into your ass at his words. Of course you were taking this seriously, this was all you ever wanted. You stutter out sounds, trying to deny his claims but all you can do is clammer up. He groans and tells you to repeat the potion.

Your heart beats erratically in your chest, in trying to concentrate harder all you do is make it worse, now being unable to read the words on the page. You fight the urge to tear up and fail, the tears running down your cheeks like a landslide. You try to keep your calm while remaking the potion, but again it puffs up in suffocating smoke as your tears add a component that wasn’t meant to be in it. You whimper quietly in mortification. What were you going to do now?

Rasmodius lets out another groan from somewhere beside you, the annoyance clear in his voice. “Go home. Practice making the spell right and return here next week. It’s clear that you’re not going to get anything done right now.”

You nod and gather your things and the ingredients you need to practice making the potion, maybe you just needed to calm down. As you speed walk out of his tower, your goodbyes fall on deaf ears, he doesn’t reply even as the door swings shut behind you. Taking in a shaky breath, you let the tears fall freely, releasing the burning sensation that had taken over your entire face from how hard you were trying to keep your composure.

‘He’s just trying to look out for me,’ you think to yourself, your steps heavy as you walk home. ‘He just wants me to do my best…’. It seems as if everything that goes up, must come down.

You squeal in excitement as your potion turns out the correct color, on your first try. You grin happily, it had been months since you first started being mentored by Rasmodius, and while some of it was harsh and difficult, you see now exactly why he had been tough on you. It was more rewarding than you thought it would be finally completing your first potion on your own. The wizard grabs you and pulls you into a hug, a bright smile on his face. Your stomach bursts into butterflies as he holds you. “Amazing!”

For the past few months he’s been tutoring you, correcting you, making you the best witch that you can be. And just a little it’s paid off. Soon enough, you’ll be great, soon enough you’d be able to save people. This potion is just a test, to see if you could make something. It’s supposed to turn a person into a dove. Something that Rasmodius says he can already do without anything helping him. “Now, we just need a practice dummy.”

“A practice dummy?” You ask, looking at him in curiosity. He never said anything about using it on someone, but then again you think, how else would you be able to tell if you’ve made the potion correctly or not?

“Yes!” He looks absolutely giddy over the thought of you testing this on something.

“What are we testing it on?”

His eyes are alight with mischief, and yet he doesn’t answer you. Something seems off, but you can’t bring yourself to seem upset or care about it, he just looks so happy.

“Pierre?” You exclaim in horror, staring at Rasmodius. He nodded vigorously, seemingly excited about using the dove potion on Pierre. You didn’t understand why, and he refused to elaborate as he tried to convince you to get him to drink the potion.

“He is on his way here now! You have to get him to drink the potion.”

“And turn him into a dove? I don’t think I can do that, sir.”

“You will, or you can stop showing up here.”

Your heart drops and beats inside of your stomach. He was making you choose between turning a man into a dove for however long, and your work with him? By first look it seems like an obvious choice: do NOT turn the innocent man into a dove that’s RUDE. But your heart wanted you to choose Rasmodius, to not give up on learning how to be the best witch that you can be, even if it takes doing morally questionable things. So that’s what you do, accept what he wants you to do.

When Pierre knocks on the door he looks pissed, and he barges in without saying anything to you. “Where is he?”

You’re confused, even though you know he probably means Rasmodius. “He-he’s here somewhere. I mean it is his house and all. Why are you here?”

Pierre finally looks at you in confusion, as if he’s seeing that you’re in the same room as him for the first time. “He called me here to talk about my wife! As if he knows her at all. Y’know I knew something was up when she took all those walks nearby. I shouldn’t have trusted that man.”

“Do…do you want any tea? While you wait?”

Pierre frowns then nods after a second, as if you’ve made a wrong choice by not meeting him at the door with tea. So you nod, and go and heat some up in a kettle, adding the potion and mixing it. It’s only a bit, the cup tiny, only enough for a shot. But it should be enough for him to turn. You return to the living room, handing Pierre the cup. He downs it immediately, smacking his lips loudly in disgust. His face twists up unhappily and he glares at you.

“Did it taste okay?”

“No it didn’t taste okay! It tasted horrible! Why offer to make tea if you don’t know how to?”

You blink in surprise at his words, maybe he was just upset at Rasmodius’ supposed affair with Caroline. Maybe somewhere in his brain he knows that he’s going to be turned into a dove.

Rasmodius reveals himself after a second, a smirk on his face. For some reason something feels wrong about this scenario, but he’d never actually hurt anyone…would he? “You know…I’ve been waiting on this for a very long time, Pierre.”

You frown and back away from the man. What the fuck is happening? “You stay away from my wife!”

Rasmodius shrugs his shoulders, still smirking at him as if he’s looking forward to the man being turned into a dove. Is this all he used you for? “Well you won’t be able to do anything about it now. Not anymore.”

Pierre grunts in pain, gripping his stomach and doubling over. “What did you do to me?” He screams out as he drops to his knees. You rush over to him only to be shoved away with all of his remaining energy.

“You never said it was going to cause him pain!” You shout at Rasmodius and he shrugs again. “How long will this last? I mean he won’t be a dove forever will he?”

“He will, but it’s okay. No one will know what we did. The idiot didn’t tell anyone he was coming here. So as long as no one has seen him, no one will know.”

Pierre screams out again, the pure agony in his voice causes you to flinch and cover your ears. “But still! He’s in pain! And he can’t be a dove forever! What about his family?”

“They’ll be okay without him.”

You blink at him, where did this attitude come from? Like actually what is wrong with him? Pierre lets out one final shriek, body writhing on the ground. White feathers grow out of his skin, and you can hear his bones cracking loudly as his arms force themselves into itself. His mouth and nose stretch out and combine, and his head shrinks.

It looks absolutely painful and by the end he is a tiny little bird, ruffling its wings. Rasmodius picks it up and throws the dove Pierre into a cage rather roughly. You gasp as his tiny little body crashes into the bars, a sort of yelp coming from his beak. Guilt wraps itself around each and every body part of yours, around each and every internal organ you have. You almost want to vomit from the feeling. Rasmodius just laughs, locking the cage not even looking at you.

You’ve definitely done something wrong.

Going into town has been something you’ve avoided for weeks now, unable to handle seeing Caroline and Abigail cry at all. They have no idea what has happened to Pierre, and it’s not as if you can tell them since you’re responsible, so you avoid them at all costs. Now the only person you interact with is Rasmodius, and sometimes it feels as if you were stuck with him. He kept a close eye on you now, watching your every move. He told you as much. If he goes down, so do you.

Your body sags as you enter the tower, it’s become normal for you to be unable to sleep, yet the man you thought you idolized and maybe even loved seemed more like a stranger. Maybe he had always been one.

You hear a small squeal as you enter the tower, causing you to rush in, heart and head thumping. A tiny blue Junimo lies underneath the boot of Rasmodius. You don’t know what he was doing, but it seemed as if he was going to do something unthinkable.

You rush in, pushing Rasmodius down and off of the Junimo. It seemed smaller than the others, and the second his boot was off of it, it disappeared. “What are you doing?”

He glared at you so hard you felt as if your insides were on fire. Is this really the man you had a crush on? “Getting them to give me what I want. More power.”

“But that looked like a baby! And you can do enough, what do you need more power for?”

“To protect people! To protect everyone! No one else would need to die if I could just figure out how to get a little more power. If I could get the secrets of the universe! I know the Junimos have it.”

“So you’re going to torture them until they give in?”

He gets up from his position on the floor, and his eyes flash with something that causes a shiver to go down your spine. “Farmer! You don’t think that I’m actually going to harm them right?” He moves towards you slowly.

“You hurt Pierre, turned him into a dove, his family is hurt too…”

“Oh but you did that, you made the potion and gave it to him. I just supplied the space. Besides, you know I just want what’s good for the world right? You trust me.”

“I don’t know…” he’s touching you now, a hand on your shoulder and one wrapped around your waist. You can feel his breath on your face from how close he is.

“I mean, you wanted to be with me right? Well you can, I’m giving you a chance. Just…ignore my methods and help me save everyone. Be my assistant and everything will be fine.” He presses a quick kiss to your lips and your heart flips uncomfortably. It wasn’t how you thought it would be…the feeling was more painful than you imagined your heart would be in.

“I don’t think so…”

“Imagine the power…how much people will worship us for saving all of humanity. No more wars, no more killing…all because of us.”

You want to fall for it so badly, but the tone of his voice keeps you from falling into a delusion. He never loved you at all, and now he’s using your crush on him to try to manipulate you. If he had been a little less insane sounding, you probably would’ve fallen for it, for him. But now all you can feel are ants crawling in the places that he’s touching you in.

“No”. You scramble backwards, away from him and the sheer insanity he was exuding, there’s obviously something wrong with him. It was like there was a shadow, around his body, shrouding everything in black. Turning to run, he stops you, tackling you to the ground. The wind is knocked out of your lungs as he sits on top of you. Your stomach twists in fear. What was he going to do?

Your mouth is forced open and he pours something on your face. It burns so badly that you feel as if your skin is melting. You scream out, your vision flickering as you struggle to stay awake, he holds you still beneath him. The last thing you hear is his laughter as you’re forcibly put to sleep.

The light fills your eyes as they’re cut on all too suddenly. ‘He’s back!’ Rasmodius enters the basement of his tower, staring at you with affection in his eyes. You can’t help but feel absolute happiness as he looks at you. You push your hands through the bars of your cage, rattling your chain in order to reach out to him.

He shoves food into your hands, sitting in his chair as he watches you devour your first and last meal of the day. You’re a good pet, he’s trained you to be. He laughs and you look up at him to smile, mouth full. While you don’t remember how you got here, you know you only have one job, to do whatever he wants.

Man, isn’t life great?

Finally home again, you tense up as soon as you shut the door behind you. It was different, depression when you’re surrounded by distractions and depression when you’re alone. The creaking of the house filled you with loneliness. When you were little it was always your grandparents inside, the house warm and smelling of food and baked goods. Then it was just your grandfather, the house still warm but no longer smelling good. Now it’s just you, with a house that was only warm because it was springtime and the sun was warming everything it touched.

Tears start to prick your eyes and you wonder when your medication would be making its appearance. It was only recently that your emotions started to overwhelm you, the reason clear as day and you hated the fact that you couldn’t bounce back like you usually did. It wasn’t the first time someone in your family had died, nor will it be the last but it wasn’t like when your grandmother died when you were young, you were able to get over it then, this time you weren’t able to process and get over it at all. Processing hadn’t even started, it’s just been an immediate descent into an endless black hole.

Guilt almost overcomes you as doubts start making their way into your mind. You wanted to believe Harvey would never prescribe you anything horrible, you wanted to believe that things were going to get better once you had your medicine, but it was hard to not hear things about taking meds for mental health; all the side effects and body changes that people go through. The chance that the medicine can make things worse, the chance that the medicine can make you feel nothing at all. It was scary, and something that you hadn’t experienced up until this point. Harvey was great with prescribing you the meds, but in the back of your mind the want to flush them as soon as you get them tries to get your attention and make itself seem like a good idea.

Well, at least you can work on your farm or something while you have time. You rested all day yesterday, today can be dedicated to bettering your land. Putting on your work clothes, you move to open the door. Honestly maybe you should start looking out the window or a peep hole or something because having to stifle a scream when you see Marnie’s face is embarrassing.

“Marnie!” You try to act like she didn’t just jumpscare you into next year. “It’s nice to see you this morning!” You had only met the woman once like a week ago, and seeing her on your doorstep was kind of weird. Behind her was a huge fluffy dog who was wagging its tail, staring up at you with the sweetest eyes you’ve ever seen; and in her arms an orange cat who seemed all too happy to be getting pets and being held.

“Hello Y/N! You see these animals here? I found them sitting together outside the entrance to your farm! I think they might be strays…poor little things.”

You nod and stare at her, what was the point of all this? If she thought they were strays why is she here talking about them? It has to be obvious out of everyone in the town you’d know the least about who owns them. Though, they were extremely cute…

The dog plops down on the front porch, it’s tail still wagging as it stares up at you. Now that you think about it, there’s an old dog house somewhere in the property, your grandfather had a dog before, so maybe you could ask if you could keep it, maybe the cat too. It would be better than being alone all day. Marnie waits a beat before speaking again, staring at the dog fondly.

“I think they like this place! Hey, um…don’t you think this farm could use some animals?”

Like your prayers were answered you smile at her, “yeah, sure. I can keep them! Farm is big and empty anyways…”

She hands the orange cat to you and steps back. “Do you have a name for either of them?” You nod immediately, knowing exactly what you wanted to name them it was so easy.

“Mango and Shadow.” You say with confidence. The cat was orange, and fruit themed names were always cute, and the dog, while brown, already seemed as if it was going to follow you around all day like a fluffy shadow anyways.

“Well, you both be good, now…okay?” Marnie seemed a little sad as if she wanted to keep them, she probably had no room for them with all of her animals. She leaves down the path back towards her own place.

Excitedly, you hurry and set the cat down grabbing your watering can and other farming supplies. Now that you had company, doing work and being home wasn’t so daunting. Shadow immediately follows after you, her tail wagging so quickly you could feel the air from it. Mango watched from the porch, lying on the stairs. They were both going to be inside with you, that’s for sure, but now you needed to fix the dog house, and buy animal supplies. Your new fur babies needed to immediately be spoiled (and cleaned), and you had absolutely nothing prepared for them.

Hiding.

You were hiding.

You were hiding and you felt pathetic. You shouldn't be doing this, but you couldn't help it. All you could think about was home. The home that had been ripped away from you.

Your breathing was unsteady, and you were curled up on your bed, silent tears cascading down your face. You wanted so badly to be angry with Sam. But you knew he didn't know your past.

"My dad is fighting the Gotoro, you know? They're ruthless killers," Sam had said. "Knowing what they've done to the people of Nardinia is insane."

"Who are you?" your mom said. You were hiding behind her skirts, staring at the man before you.

"Not important," he said. "All that matters is that this is my house now."

"What?" your mom said, shocked. "No!"

"Citizens of Gotoro get to have this land. I bought this property now get out!"

Homeless.

Begging for your meals.

You left Sam's side without saying a word. The flash back was making you panic. Remembering the laughter as you'd been booted out. Rembering the places you couldn't go, all because you weren't a citizen of the Gotoro.

It made you so angry. Your people had taken the Gotoro in and they repaid you by stealing your land, slaughtering your people, and taking their homes. There were places you were banned from, all because you were Nardinian, not Gotoro.

But Sam didn't know this.

Every day, he knocked on your door, calling your name. You hadn't shown your face in weeks, of course he'd be worried!

Finally you realized you couldn't avoid him forever. Taking a deep breath, you invited him inside and explained.

"Shit," Sam said. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"There was no way for you to know," you said softly.

He took your hand and squeezed it as you told him of your escape. That you were a refugee, given asylum.

"It'll be okay," he said.

"I'll be okay," you said. "But the bombing last week...I don't know what okay will mean for the land."