#scripted: edward

“i would say this reminds me of home and proper times, but there certainly isn’t as much class,” edward said, snide yet none-too-critical. he knew that his time had long gone, but that did not mean he no longer yearned for the over-done suits and dresses and well-practiced dances. “i mean not to complain to you, however – surely that is the last thing you wish to deal with. i simply miss when i could properly navigate such an event, when i could dance with anyone i wished because i knew how to. now? i am just as much a ghost as i’ve always been – perhaps even more so. what of you? do you hold grand balls from where you hail? you have the stature of a well-experienced dancer.”

when edward said he would do anything for james, nothing was off limits. if james had asked him to give up everything, he would have — if he knew everything. if he needed edward to kill someone, he would do so easily and without second thought. and, right now, even if it wasn’t explicitly asked for, james needed edward to kill someone. edward had been on his way over to spend time with james, the apartment empty for a few hours. time together was often few and far between considering edward never invited his boyfriend to his own apartment, so they took any opportunity they could get. but, as he entered the apartment, it was eerily empty. he’d expected james to greet him in the living room as he usually did, forcing edward to carefully walk to the other’s room. through the open door, he saw james — pinned beneath some man who’s back was to the door. edward didn’t think. his immediate instinct was to eliminate the threat, picking up the nearest heavy object and charging the intruder. he didn’t count how many times he hit the man in the head, only stopping when there was no more resistance. his breathing was heavy as he finally looked over to james. “are you okay?” he asked, not at all moved by the fact he’d just taken a life. none of that mattered when james was in trouble.

edward was mostly unbothered by the snow falling from the sky, yet he found himself staying in the bookshop to keep the other company. normally, he wouldn’t have bothered, but it was just one person and he wanted to be sure they weren’t left to suffer either to the cold or their own devices. “if you need anything, i think i could possibly go get it for you,” he offered, voice gentle as it carried through the quiet space. “what is the cold to a thing that is already without warmth? and, i would hate for you to perish in a place like this — certainly not the best to spend the rest of your eternal days. if i knew you well, i would offer my home to you to pass over. that is if we were at my home.”

edward knew james was smart — he’d be able to put the pieces together. he didn’t have to explain himself or take off the mask. he saw the realization slowly morph the other’s features, anticipation knotting in edward’s stomach. the nail in the coffin was the buzzing of his phone in his pocket. there was no way to explain that away, nor did he want to. there was no point in hiding anymore. but, with the way james pulled away, he was beginning to wonder if he should have waited even longer — picked a better time and place. edward reached out as if he could stop james from stepping back. “i know it’s a lot, james, but i promise it will all make sense. you agreed with me. i love you,” he said softly, trying to soothe the upset that the other was clearly feeling. he heard the wail of a siren, glancing toward the source before looking back to james. there was a pained expression on his face. he didn’t want to leave him. but, it would do neither of them any good if he was caught near james. “come see me. i can explain it if i need to there,” he said quickly. he took one last look at james, heart aching in his chest, before turning and taking off in the opposite direction of the search party.

fine. nothing seemed truly fine. james and him were stuck in this situation — a situation that should have never existed in the first place. james was the one person who needed to be guaranteed safety in edward’s mind. yet, edward had failed to protect his one person. what hope had he for helping others if he couldn’t help just james? having the other come closer gave him some sort of comfort, but not too much. it didn’t change that they were still stuck, edward trying to keep his mind clear enough to think. but, panic was something he never truly learned how to overcome. edward shook his head. “no, it’s not going to be fine. if he isn’t the real riddler, he isn’t thinking like him. he’ll hurt you without caring. he’ll use you as an example. i can’t— i can’t let that happen. not you,” he said, pulling on his wrists hard enough to bruise the soft flesh. “he would probably sooner kill your father than let either of us go.” he couldn’t see any sort of hope — not when he wasn’t in control. he needed to be in control, needed to know the outcome and see it come to fruition as he planned. he never planned this, never planned for it. “he doesn’t know your father is good, he doesn’t know you’re good. i’m nobody, so we’re all just little toys for him to get rid of.”

edward allowed ellie to pull her wrist free, his chest feeling tight from the emotional pain he was experiencing. he clenched his jaw, looking to the ground in shame. he failed to find immediate answers to her questions, reluctant to hand over the truth for fear of ellie hating him. he know, in the end, it would serve her well to do so. but, he’d only truly wanted ellie’s love and affections. “i’m not trying to justify what i did. i did something very bad, ellie,” he said, voice low and almost a whisper. he finally glanced up at her. he could see her questioning him, doubting him, fearing him. the image burned into his mind and he knew he would never forget it. it would haunt him. “i took it. i couldn’t control myself and i took it — all of it,” he admitted, voice rising in a frustrated yell. the emotions were starting to build and spill. his brows pulled together in a pained, sad expression. “i killed them, el. i did the one thing i swore i would never do. so, now you see it — you see me. i’m a fucking monster and that could have been you. i’m leaving. you won’t ever see me again. forget that i exist.”