#scnsei

@scnsei​ said:  ❛ i thought you were very brave. ❜ for menma for menma

“at least someone does...”

he tries desperately hard not to let his voice shake, but it’s inevitable. it hasn’t been very long since the second part of the chuunin exams, & every bit felt like a tug of a bow’s string pulled taut. there was that skin-crawling sensation of death & deep-bone horror that hung all around that forest, something not even its name could portray accurately.

something downright evil—

then there was that moment when he felt his own bloodlust rise unprompted inside him, a rage boiling just underneath the surface of his very skin, threatening to burst with an explosion, until it fizzled into nothing & that bond he had with his brother, strong & steady since the day they were born, shut off. or perhaps it was more accurately blocked off, stopped by something. it felt like having the hair squeezed out of you.

sure, they had it fixed thanks to that sannin guy, but the fear of the unknown, fear of wondering if his brother was alive or dead—that was something that felt tight like a deep root steady in the dirt, draining him every time he thought about it.

@scnsei​ asked: “ you make me feel safe. like i’m allowed to be anything i want. ” just one more soft kakairu moment.

Sat within the confines of Iruka’s apartment with his arms wrapped around the man in question as they enjoyed a quiet moment together, Kakashi found himself smiling beneath his mask at the words. Leaning down, he brushed the bridge of his nose against Iruka’s shoulder, towards his neck, one hand shifting to seek his partner’s own, entwining their fingers together with a gentleness that often caught him by surprise. He hadn’t thought he was made capable of being gentle; to touch with lingering, revering gestures that exposed his affections so plainly. The only gentleness he knew truly was the whisper of kunai blades against skin, the delicate hold of poison choking the life from his veins. Well, at least until Iruka. 

“Well, I am glad I have a positive influence on your life... though you hardly need my input to know you could be anything... you prove that every day...” he replied, words breathed against skin with a lilt of amusement in his tone. He would not always be so open, but something about the calm atmosphere, almost separated from the world in which they lived, let him let go for a little while. 

He extracted his free hand from where he had it currently caught around Iruka, but only so he could catch his mask and drag it down to linger about his neck, returning it shortly after to curl about his partner. “You really are someone to admire... even if you make me do my reports twice...” he breathed, pressing a kiss to skin after, hiding his smile with the gesture. Maybe he was a little bitter that Iruka never let him get away with anything but then it was also another reason to admire him really.

.@scnsei​ asked: “ just rest, i’m here. ” iruka sitting watch over kakashi while he sleeps?

Resting around others had always been a ridiculous notion. Kakashi had never quite worked out how to shut off around people post childhood. Barely slept on his own terms because of it, even alone or surrounded by his ninken who he could trust to guard when he couldn’t. But something about Iruka was calming. The hand threading gently through his locks coaxed on a wave of drowsiness and he found himself more amiable to the idea of sprawling across Iruka’s lap along the couch. 

“I should be coordinating the reports...” he began, a half-hearted protest that didn’t stand up to time as a yawn pushed through his words and severed his sentence before he could finish it naturally. He knew trying again would only yield the same result, he could feel the exhaustion seeping into his limbs and weighing them down, making them difficult to move. And he was comfortable. 

@scnsei​ asked: he has to assume strings had been pulled for KAKASHI of all people to be his escort between villages. he’s on his way to an education conference in suna - a mission well below his partner’s rank. sure, things are dangerous these days with the akatsuki at large, but kakashi’s presence feels like overkill. a worried partner. still, iruka will take full advantage of his company, slipping his hand into kakashi’s. “is it alright if I hold my ESCORT’s hand? I know you’re technically working.”

There’s a smile on his face beneath his mask as he glances to his companion for this journey to Suna. Of course, he had manipulated his way onto this mission, but there is no way Kakashi is going to admit to that. As far as he’ll let the other man know, it was just more cost efficient to send one shinobi of his skill level rather than three to four ranked chunin or below. 

That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. 

The question brings a dry chuckle from his lips and he curls his fingers around Iruka’s gently squeezing the hand in his own. “I think you’ve already made that decision, hm?” he teases, but it’s clear in the way he holds on and leans in a little closer that he’s happy for the hold to continue. Kakashi is never one to balk at letting others know when their touch is unwanted. He’ll quite happily speak up or disappear if he’s uncomfortable. 

But he could never be uncomfortable with Iruka’s hand in his own. 

He turns his attention to the road ahead, gaze ever vigilant for signs of danger even as he they walk on the otherwise quiet path. Too familiar is he with surprise attacks and would-be assassins, that being out in the open like this has him on his guard. It will be better once they near Suna, but for now he contents himself with making frequent checks and maintaining the contact with the other man, the palm pressed to his own a contact point of warmth that alleviates the worst of his mind’s work. 

It’s harder to chase shadows when you have the man who owns your heart walking beside you. And he did take this mission to spend more time with him, their schedules so hectic as of late that he barely caught a glimpse of that familiar figure leaving the room as he crashed out on the sofa from a night of overwork. So he squeezes gently again, 3 pulses that represent words he won’t say in places where he’s not sure they are safe, and leans in just enough for his shoulder to brush Iruka’s fondly. 

                                    ❛    i’m  okay  ,  i  was  only  in  the  hospital  for  a  short  while  --                                        so  i’m  ready  to  go  back  to  school  !!    ❜

                        ❛    o-oh  --  u-uh  ,  yeah  !  sure  !  i  can  do  that  ,  no  problem  y’know  !!    ❜

anon asked: what do I think about naruto uzumaki? well, i THINK that he should eat more vegetables, get more sleep, clean his FILTHY apartment every once in a while, play nice with his teammates and would it KILL him to visit his sensei? honestly, naruto, you're going to be the DEATH of me! are you EVEN LISTENING? oh - and i love you!! remember, I LOVE YOU!!  // it’s the dad! @scnsei​ // SEND YOUR THOUGHTS

“Ahhh I’m a busy ninja, I don’t always have time to do all those things!” 

The protest falls easily from the blond’s lips before he considers the words that have actually been said, and a grin fills his face. A hand presses to the nape of his neck as he does so and he laughs sheepishly, mind lingering on those final words. 

I love you. 

How many days had he spent alone wishing, longing, for someone, anyone to say such things to him? Instead he had been the village monster, feared and shunned for something he had no knowledge of, treated as an outcast at best, with revile and disgust at worst and forgotten by many. An empty apartment, the odd meeting now and then, the occasional gesture of kindness from his peers were the only moments of happiness he knew. 

Until Iruka-sensei. 

When Iruka broke down the walls and acknowledged him it changed his whole world. Now there was a warm smile, welcoming and kind, to greet his days. A parental figure to chide his wrong doings and congratulate his victories. A mentor to guide him through life’s difficulties and be a shoulder to cry on when it was all too much. Someone who cared. 

It meant there was one person in this world who wanted him, who wanted to know and care for Naruto Uzumaki. And that thought can still bring him to tears. 

He’s been used his whole life to being unwanted and so sometimes the love he feels from Iruka overwhelms him. But he doesn’t mind, in fact he loves it, reveals in it. Each smile given to him is a treasure held tight, each caring word or gesture etched into his heart to bolster him through each day. Some days all he wants to do is sit in Ichiraku’s and bathe in the warmth he feels from a dish of his favourite food and conversation with the man who truly saw him, and sometimes he simply wants to run into those arms for a hug that promises it will be alright. 

Perhaps he hadn’t know what it was to be loved before Iruka, but he does now. He knows what it is to be held, supported, lectured about his dirty laundry, chided for his mischief, congratulated for his victories and above all else, to know that there is someone in his corner who he can return to and call his home.

He thinks he’s really lucky to have a dad like Iruka.