#scared as hell

Me at the end

I have to be honest with all of you, I'm genuinely afraid of the dark and I'm turning 21 this year.

Almost everytime I think about sleeping in the dark, I just think about someone or something standing in my room and just staring at me. I cannot sleep unless I have a pet with me or someone I KNOW is sleeping in there with me, like my roommate.

Problem is, my roommate has gone home for the weekend, I'm going home tomorrow, and I just spent almost the entire day watching mlp horror aus.

The dark makes me extremely paranoid and I cannot TAKE IT- EVEN WITH THE LIGHTS ON IT STILL FEELS CREEPY TO BE ALONE ugh I know I don't know why I'm like this. It's embarrassing jdjdjdb.

I'm so tired I cannot.

It seems fine, like just another school day

Then BOOM! MAKE FRIENDS! PREPARE FOR SIXTH FORM! ACT LIKE YOU'RE NORMAL BC NO ONE HAS EVER MET YOU BEFORE AND THIS IS THEIR FIRST EVER IMPRESSION OF YOU!

And it's like, AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SPACE!

But also you want to seem cool, yk? You want to seem approachable, so you gotta be all nonchalant (which is very hard when you're typically chalant about things)

And you also gotta use totally new skills, on top of every thing else (I shared a different opinion to the rest of my Media Studies class today, 0/10 do NOT recommend, I think I actually died. Apparently, Taylor Swift did not seem sad in the picture to literally anyone else but me)

And you've got everyone telling you all day about how you have to start thinking of Uni, or future career options, or what the future even holds for you, when I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR DINNER, SHARON!?

I spent most of the clubs and societies part just glazing my own existing club and chatting to the teacher who runs it with us tbf.

Also, a massive apology to the people who met me today, I was not on top form, you probably think I'm insane

(I mean, I am, but I hoped to come off better when meeting new people than I actually did. It was much less "oh, hi, nice to meet you" and more *spends whole hour talking, especially about my Hot Fuzz T-Shirt and forgets to ask anything about them, for their number, or even to introduce myself. and eventually just talking to my existing friends around them, including them, but also not dulling our normal, weird asf conversations for their sake, hoping they're following along to this*)

(again, I am so, so sorry)