#saysorry

Smack about Apologies.

To know me is to know my taste in music runs the full spectrum, minus country music and death metal. And anything Mariah Carey sings. Not dissing her talent, just her. Sometimes I will succumb to disposable music. Its music that’s popular for a little while, but then later discarded. Think the opposite of tunes like AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’. A song that has passed the test of time. Disposable music feels overly processed and is ultimately not good for you, but acceptable in small doses.

For example: Mariah Carey is like microwave popcorn. There’s nothing wrong with popcorn and there’s nothing wrong with microwaving food. The problem is the bag itself. Perfluoroalkyls are just one class of chemical found in microwave popcorn bags. Some studies have linked perfluoroalkyls with health problems as diverse as impaired kidney function and poor semen quality. Mariah Carey is the bag.

Ok, I really just wanted to find a way to compare Mariah Carey to a bag of microwave popcorn.

I will just assume you understand what I mean when I say disposable music.

Britney Spears. Not sure how this is going to sound, but I was never a fan of hers UNTIL she shaved her head and attacked people with an umbrella. I’m also a fan of when mistreated elephants in captivity snap and trample their oppressors. Something about a caged animal finally fighting back… really resonates with me. I’m sure one day my future therapist will have a blast unpacking that last sentence, but until then let’s focus.

I recently watched the documentary “Framing Britney Spears”. Here is a quick synopsis from IMDB:

“Her rise was a global phenomenon. Her downfall was a cruel national sport. People close to Britney Spears and lawyers tied to her conservatorship now reassess her career as she battles her father in court over who should control her life.”

I’m not going to talk about the documentary too much, but it appropriately chronicles her rise to fame and gives you an idea of what happens to these young performers when they become held captive by the very thing and the very people who made them famous in the first place. I found parts of it almost… sad and other parts suffocating. If you’re able to find it, give it a watch. Some of the people who have dedicated a great deal of their time to this ‘Free Britney’ movement are obnoxious, but their intentions don’t feel misplaced. Britney Spears had nothing to do with documentary but has acknowledged it and approved.

Now, I know some people take the stance of – “Oh poor you, you’re famous with lots of money and adoring fans and if you choose that life you deserve no privacy and no sympathy when people pester you for pictures and autographs. That is life in the public eye”. Well, I somewhat disagree. And I disagree because whether it be acting or singing or whatever, it’s only a J-O-B.

Imagine you’re an accountant and suddenly it becomes the least boring profession in the world. Every time you leave your house there are throngs of people scurrying to catch a glimpse of you in all your glory while you’re just going to the pharmacy to get that rash cream prescription refilled. Not only that, they get up in your face… crowding you, snapping 100’s of photos at close range hoping to get a cringe worthy picture to sell to the tabloids, pulling at your sweater vest and screaming “do me and then do my taxes!”. Doesn’t that sound awesome?

I don’t believe anyone is sitting at home at this very moment and wishing they had the life of Britney Spears.

One of the best moments in that documentary (and something I didn’t even know had happened because I don’t pay much attention to her career) is when she was supposed to announce her next residency in Vegas. It was a live streaming event in Vegas with loads of crazed people in attendance where she was to come out, perform a little on stage and then talk.  She came out. Walked down the steps to the stage and kept walking. She walked right past everyone without a word and disappeared. People were pissed. I laughed and cheered.

She then made a post stating that until her Father was removed as her conservator, she would no longer be working in any capacity. Full stop. A total walkout and strike.

If you’re not familiar with the situation with her Dad… the long and the short of it is – when her mental health became compromised due to MANY factors, he took over control of her life. Her career, her money… everything. And at that time, it was seriously the best thing for her. But now at 38 with two teenage sons, she wants her freedom. Her Father is insisting that he continues to manage her life because she is not capable of making healthy decisions for herself and fears the vultures are always waiting to pounce and take advantage of his daughter.

Honestly, I don’t have an opinion regarding her conservatorship. None of us should. We can sympathize / empathize but we don’t have any actual idea of what is really taking place behind closed doors. As a fellow human being just trying to make it to the end of toilet roll with all my marbles intact, I hope she is ok.

Does the world owe Britney an apology?

This question came to me after watching the documentary and hearing about how Justin Timberlake was called out to say sorry to her for weaponizing their break-up to his advantage; as well as Diane Sawyer and a number of others for their various questions, comments and jokes they’ve made at her expense over the years.

Funny thing about apologies… sometimes they don’t mean shit. Sometimes, without appropriate action, they’re just words people say to make themselves feel better about being instinctively terrible. Going on an apology tour for something you did a decade ago just seems inauthentic. Acknowledging your past mistakes and making concentrated efforts not to repeat poor behavior feels more appropriate. It’s called growth. It’s one thing to say your sorry to someone you feel you’ve wronged, it’s another to be pulled out and placed on display by the media and publicly forced to reconcile previous atrocities of character. For one thing, the media is hardly the yard stick for good morals. And the public… well if Twitter has taught us anything, it’s that everyone needs an enema of their soul. And it wouldn’t hurt if some people got their mouths washed out with soap for being callous little trolls looking for attention.

I write this to you as someone who has been both apologized to and done the apologizing. I fancy neither of these options. While it may be nice having someone tell you they’re sorry for something they did that didn’t exactly give you the feels, I struggle with the authenticity. That’s a me problem. I don’t scoff at any delivered apologies, but rather squirm, accept and want to move forward. I’ll tell you what is better than saying sorry to me – scotch. The silent peacemaker.

I don’t feel the world owes Britney Spears an apology in the same way I feel beets do NOT belong on a burger. Some will agree with me and some will argue that I’m wrong. Look, that documentary puts into focus how terribly she was treated by a wide range of people across the globe on multiple platforms. And the bottom line is – she’s not the first and won’t be the last. People love to see others fall and that is just the truth and people love to take cheap shots at them on the way down. Should they say sorry for being shitty humans? Nope. But they should not pretend they’re nothing more than headcheese adjacent. No one will be saying sorry today because WE DON’T LEARN. Maybe next decade?