#sarcomasucks

When it's hour 19 or so of your day and you just finished at the gym...bit what got you there was the struggle of a friend! #heckelstrong #cancersucks #sarcomasucks #gotur6 #inspiration #dadlife (at Fleming's Gym)

I never thought at 22 years old I would have to say the most upsetting words anyone ever has to speak, I have cancer. I have this nasty growing disease inside of me trying to take control of my entire existence. It is in my leg and in my lungs. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I have a large tumor in my thigh that is cutting away at my time here on this planet. All I ever wanted was to go through life like any normal human being. Graduate, get the job, buy the house, have babies, and grow old with the people I love most. Now, I dont know if I will even be around to achieve any of those things. I'm sad, pissed, helpless, and hurting. I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions and the ride hasn't stopped. My cancer is a rare form of a rare cancer. Just my god damn luck. I don't go to church every sunday, but I prayed that it wouldn't be cancer. God didn't answer my prayers. My faith in something bigger than me, a higher power is slim. Just like my chances of ever being normal again. I want to wake up from this horrible dream, it's too difficult to be my reality. I feel so alone even with the support I have behind me. They aren't going through it the same way I have to. I'm trying to be strong, even though I just want avoid all of this. My poor mother is hiding her sadness, while my dad copes by researching ways to prevent it from coming back. Thats the thing though, it never truly goes away. Basically it hibernates until it decides to slowly grow again. I will constantly have to battle this for the rest of my life. It's a battle I will never truly win and that scares me. Maybe one day there will be a cure. Until then the battle is on ASPS.