Apr 26, 2024
I’m going to make everyone look at my bad takes.
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I’m going to make everyone look at my bad takes.
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For the past few years I have been listening to many many audio books from titles that my Dad read years ago and recommended on his audible account, mainly 40k and Discworld books and out of all of them that I have currently listened to these are the ones that I wished would never end or left a great impression on me, for years he would tell me to read them and say how great they are and thanks to audio books I was able to experience them and he was most certainly right to praise them.
As it currently stands I have finished all current Ciaphas Cain books, All Eisenhorn and Ravenor Books, Up to book 15 of Discworld and Up to book 12 of the Gaunt's Ghost series, I am currently listening to Salvation's Reach.
'Then ration it,’ Zyvan snapped. ‘Not an option, I’m afraid,’ Kildhar said, with a passable attempt at a regretful expression. ‘Nutritional intake for the general populace is precisely calculated to maintain the maximum level of health with the minimum expenditure of resources. Even a five per cent reduction will have noticeably deleterious effects, and reducing daily allowances to a level commensurate with equal distribution would starve everyone to death within a month.’ ‘That couldn’t happen,’ I said, to her evident surprise. I smiled, without humour. ‘The riots would have levelled the hives long before that.’ From: The Greater Good, Sandy Mitchell
In Praise of Commissar Ciaphas Cain
If anyone is unaware of what Warhammer 40K is... it's where the term "grimdark" comes from.
And my boy Ciaphas. He lives here.
This is kind of a show-and-tell of one of my (weirder?) pieces of comfort media.
Because Sandy Mitchell (pen name of Alexander Michael Stewart) 100% wrote crossover Blackadder/Warhammer 40K fanfic. Or at at least... it started that way. Since the Ciaphas Cain books (my catholic upbringing loves that name) are written in first person, Ciaphas Cain very quickly becomes quite a bit sweeter than Edmund Blackadder.
Ciaphas is a military morale officer (real thing, in soviet russia) who exists outside the chain of command and is supposed to (~*~supposed to~*~) to promote undying loyalty etc. to the Emperor. Whole thing. Here's the infamous thread about how Sailor Moon would kick the Warhammer 40K Emperor's butt. But Ciaphas doesn't care about any of that. He's just paying lipservice, he's actually kind of a coward. That's something that connects my comfort characters. They are Going to survive.
Ciaphas doesn't live in a very nice universe. But, since his number one fear (and number one motivation) is making sure his troops don't accidentally-on-purpose shoot him in the back during combat... his books mostly read as really high stakes HR team building exercises, which is fantastic. This man has carved out a cozy little bubble within a grimdark universe, and I respect the hell out of him for it.
Also, I love the conceit that Ciaphas' memoirs have been assembled (and redacted) (and footnoted) by an Inquisition agent (this universe has those) who absolutely has a thing for him. Amberly's annotations, and corrections, and just general commentary - add a really lovely texture to the whole thing. Also Amberley is sexy. I also love Jurgen (aka Baldrick, for all the Blackadder peeps.) He's a Null in this univese, which is actually kind of a big deal, since he disrupts the mind-reading of anyone around him.
Ciaphas retires to teach and get away with random BS, and I love him for it.
He's been my guy for kind of a while (that's why my friend who paints Warhammer minis knew to make me a little Cai.) But he remains important, because he's always my reminder to hunker down, survive, find good people, keep your own council, and find your own little nook within the world, and who cares what the people around you think?
Pulptober 30th - Right Hand Man - Gunner First Class Ferik Jurgen
Personal aide and bodyguard to the illustrious Hero of the Imperium, Ciaphas Cain. Possessed of formidable resourcefulness, even more formidable body odour, peculiar acumen with vehicles and unerring accuracy with a gun more properly used to take out armoured vehicles than infantry. The Cain stories are quite pulpy by 40k standards. I've heard them described as Flashman with a lashing of Blackadder transplanted into the 41st Millenium and that's broadly accurate, though Cain is orders of magnitude less of a scumbag than Harry Flashman on a good day. Which I suppose would make Jurgen here a hybrid between Baldrick and Private McAuslan, Dirtiest Soldier in the World. Regardless they are great fun and there's rarely a time when our heroic Commissar does not have Jurgen at his elbow with a fresh cup of tanna (despite no kettle, fresh water or crates of tanna leaf in sight...)
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Despite everything, Cain is in fact still good. You very much should read him in moderation though, because Sandy Mitchell had precisely one set of jokes and lines and reused them from one book to the next. It’s fine if you pace yourself, but this is the fourth book I’ve read recently and it’s becoming very obvious.
apparently he was still writing them as of 2018 so I should check the later ones out
Commissar Cain against the Valhallans' deadly weapons🙂
My friends and I also do Warhammer 40,000 cosplay.
Ciaphas Cain and his loyal assistant Jurgen are definitely among my favorite characters. Cain's style of storytelling is sometimes so reminiscent of my own internal monologues (oh, that impostor syndrome!) that I simply repeat them as a refrain in my head.
And the ironic comments of Inquisitor Vale are a special pleasure and add layers and depth to the story.
I would love to cosplay the dodgy commissar myself, but purely based on physical characteristics, I don’t fit the image of a two-meter tall athletic guy with sideburns. Unlike my boyfriend, as you can see in the video ( ・・)つ⬆️ (yes, a little bit of bragging about my boyfriend, don't judge me (*/_＼)
P.S. This is the first greatcoat option; an improved version is currently in the process.
Games Workshop reveals its 2023 Store Anniversary Releases
Games Workshop reveals its 2023 Store Anniversary Releases #warhammercommunity #warhammer40k #warhammer #warhammer40000 #ageofsigmar
Every year, Games Workshop celebrates the anniversary of each local store. That includes cool swag available only that year. The company has revealed this year’s two miniatures and more that you’ll be able to get! The Leagues of Votann represent with Kâhl Yôht Grendok. Yôht Grendok is a young up-and-comer of a Kâhl, the war-leaders of the Leagues. He’s armed with a unique, belt-fed Autoch…
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