wait so what's your unified theory of Girls
the act of labeling yourself as a girl from hbo girls often proves that you're NOT that girl.
@samshepard this is correct and the fundamental cornerstone of my theory. 95% of the time, the act of saying "i'm shoshanna" means you're trying to opt out entirely. because you not-so-secretly think you're way smarter than all the girls girls. which means you're a judgmental fucker with no self-awareness about it! which means....you're marnie.
"i'm a marnie": everyone hates marnie. so saying you're a marnie means you know exactly what your problems are, and you're deploying that awareness to preemptively defuse criticism. but that strategic self-deprecation is NOT a marnie move. marnie herself is not self-aware enough to realize how annoying she is! know who's CONSTANTLY self-deprecating as a way to beat other people to the punch? that's right, hannah.
the True Jessa is very rare, largely because most irl jessas are too busy backpacking europe to watch a tv show from last decade. many people who think they're jessa identify with the fact that she floats on the periphery of the friend group (shoshanna) or the fact that she tends to run away from all her problems (hannah).
truthfully most people are hannahs. probably because hannah is an alexander portnoy for the modern age who wears her so-specific-they're-universal neuroses on her sleeve, therefore making her more relatable than everybody else. but i do think that many actual shoshannas are mistakenly identifying themselves as hannahs due to a general early twenties Oh God I'm So Annoying self-loathing...but then maybe that self-loathing makes them a hannah anyway? it's all hannah all the way down
