#sammy files

My lovely lovely readers/followers might’ve seen that back around mid-2025 I had become active again on my blog! I even released a new chapter of ‘to turn a bad thing good’ April 2025 and started the fourth chapter but unfortunately, my life got completely derailed.

Some of my readers might remember that I had been dating someone for almost 3 years and loved him very deeply. He was my dream man to the point that he was pretty much my own mid!tae and I had literally manifested him.

We were blissfully happy, perfect together, and planned a whole future together. We were convinced we were soulmates and we were each other’s person. We had our issues but we solved them all so gracefully. Things seemed like we were destined for a good ending, but heart-breakingly so… we broke up. Despite him believing otherwise in the beginning, after thinking over everything on his own, he decided to end things because he believed our future had obstacles he did not want to overcome (religion, family, our cultures etc., I guess in the end I wasn’t worth it maybe?) Lots and lots happened, safe to say I have spent since October 2025 trying to mend back the pieces of my eviscerated heart. I experienced heartbreak, depression and severe emotional, physical and mental pain like never before. I had to heal from losing a 3-year relationship with someone who was my everything, something I had thought I would marry (my literal mid!tae…).

I’ve been through invasive heart surgery 3 times in my life (something my earlier readers might remember I talked about on my blog), but that break up was the worst pain I had ever experienced. I didn’t eat for a month. I was numb but also felt excruciating pain at all times. I cried at my desk everyday at work. I had daily panic attacks. It took me weeks to even leave my bed and I truly lived everyday in horrible depression. Drama also ensued after the breakup that only lead to more pain honestly, BUT I am so, SO happy to report that I have truly, FINALLY healed and I feel better! I NO LONGER FEEL PAIN ANYMORE!!!!! AND IT FEELS SO AMAZING!!!!

I am myself again and I’m so grateful I was able to survive something that tore apart my life and made me a husk of the person I was. I truly believed I would not survive that heartbreak but here I am, not only surviving, but living and thriving again. I am finally happy on my own again.

That being said, I attempted to reboot my hobbies and long-lost fascinations to try and learn to be with myself again, and honestly, distract me from all the memories attacking me overtime. I had tried to write again, but unfortunately anytime I wrote romantically, it reminded me of my ex and I had to shut it down before I suffered from panic attacks.

Recently, I decided to revisit the maybe I do series because I started watching a K-drama, King the Land and was reminded that I too, in my prime, wrote a juicy CEO fic of THEEEEE Kim Taehyung.

Good news for all I hope, I RE-READ ALL OF MAYBE I DO AND MAN I MISS WRITING!!!!

Ugh, I am so glad I revisited my writing because I had completely forgotten that writing is my safe space. It’s my comfort and it was my little magic shop I resided in long before I met my ex. It reminded me that I was a whole person before him, and that as much as it devastates me, there will also be an after him—a whole life still meant for me to live and honestly probably a whole new man that is actually meant for me.

Thus, I have decided to start writing again!! I know I come on here periodically and say that, then disappear again, but this time I truly am committed to to my craft because not only are our bangtan boys officially back BUT, I kind of fell back in love with my writing and the way it would make me feel. Writing has always been part of me and it took some time, but I finally realized it’s what truly makes me happy.

Anyway, THANK YOU FOR STICKIMG AROUND IF YOU ARE STILL HERE and I love you so so much for reading this until the very end! Please note: my next updates WILL be for maybe I do, the daddy daycare drabble and chapter 4 of to turn a bad thing good? Idk how quickly I can release them (daddy daycare is actually almost done, I just never finished it off) and chapter 4 is in its early stages however these days I am feeling veryyyyyy passionate about writing! Especially JK’s high-class story since I’ve got so many great plans for it so hopefully I can get it out sooner rather than later!