Thank you to everyone who has read along with all of my strategically 118 word imperfect drabbles this month. Your likes, reblogs, and tags have been a joy. Today Iām breaking pattern and allowing a 217 word finale š¤
Day 28 of @bucktommyfluffebruary
Prompt: Wedding planning/wedding day š
5 Years Later
Buck had been so emotional watching the coupleās first dance, he barely noticed his husband in front of him with an outstretched hand - the DJ having announced for the married couples to join the newlyweds on the dance floor.
āYouāre such a sap,ā Tommy teased, joyfully moving to the music among their married friends.
āI know.. Canāt help it.ā
āI love that about you,ā Tommy whispered. āAlso, canāt help it.ā
āIf youāve been married less than one day, take your seats..ā
May and Ravi raised their arms to the applause of their loved ones before bowing out.
Later, āIf youāve been married less than one year..ā
Sal flipped the crowd double-birds as he and Eddie sat.
The song slowed and Tommy held Buck closer until the DJ called for those under 5 years to sit.
Chimney snickered amateurs as Buck and Tommy exited the dance floor hand in hand.
When the DJ called for less than 10 years to sit, Hen and Karen playfully taunted him and Maddie the same way.
Karen and Hen smugly danced smugly through the call for couples under 15 years to sit; until they abandoned the dance floor to the 20+ years club.
Buck smiled as he looked around at his friends; in this little showdown, love decidedly won.
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Every time I do my grocery shopping I pass by this place called Sal's Pizza Factory and it makes me think of Sal every time (obviously) so maybe a 5 facts au around that? Could include the trio or just Sal and someone else wherever your heart takes you
SalEddie with some background BuckTommy coming right up! This gets so into the weeds for a while, it's so long.
1. Sal opened his place when he was fresh out of culinary school. He'd had to quit the fire academy when his dad got sick, and he'd spent that whole period cooking meals for his dad that he could have with the chemo. Then it had hit him that cooking for people made him genuinely happy, so when his dad went into remission, Sal decided to become a chef instead. His parents and a couple other family members gifted him with the start up funds for his restaurant, and he swore he'd make them proud. He doesn't do anything too fancy, he just makes good food and charges what's fair. He meets Tommy after Tommy comes in on a disaster of a date, and the woman leaves and Sal gives him a free beer because he looks like he's about to cry. And it's over this beer that Tommy confesses that he doesn't think he can fake it for much longer, and it turns out they're both closet cases with family issues, just different kinds. Sal has the pressure of being the legacy, the oldest boy, and Tommy was raised by a bastard of a man who hammered masculine ideals into his head. They share one kind of awkward kiss and realize that just because you're gay, doesn't mean you're compatible. Tommy becomes Sal's best friend and basically his brother.
2. One night, years later, a guy comes in wearing a firefighter shirt. Sal gets to talking to him while he waits for his pizza, finds out he doesn't know Tommy but is basically there under Tommy's recommendation. The fire station he works at was Tommy's and would order from him because of Tommy, and they recommended his restaurant to Eddie, who's new to the area. He's a tired single dad, and Sal throws in free garlic bread and a couple of salads, because a kid's gotta eat their vegetables. And Eddie looks like he might cry, because he's been having a hell of a time trying to settle his kid in to this new area, he's trying to make sure he's not fucking this boy's life up, and he's been finding nothing but kindness. "People like helping each other," Sal says, handing over a small slice of lasagna from his own dinner for Eddie to eat while he waits. "That's what I've found, at least." Eddie comes in quite a bit and eventually brings his kid, and Chris and Sal are instantly buddies.
3. One night, Eddie comes in with a pretty young thing with a big smile, long legs, and a gorgeous face. They're close, they're happy to crowd into a booth and laugh at shit on a phone. Sal, who always finds a reason to be out of the kitchen when Eddie comes in, retreats to the back and uses some of the sourdough starter to make brownies. His second in command, Marty, tells him to stop being a sad sack and run some food. Sal does, and Eddie waves him down. "Buck's never been here before," he says. "Not in person, he always ordered with the station. This is Sal." Buck is looking at Sal like he's meeting a celebrity, and he says Sal makes the best pizza and that's why Eddie goes out of his way to come to the restaurant so much. It turns out Sal's is a good thirty minutes in the wrong direction for Eddie. It also turns out Buck is hung up on some woman, and Eddie convinced him to come out to cheer him up. Sal gives them a bag before they leave and says, "Tell no one." It's three brownies (one for Eddie, one for Buck, one for Chris).
4. Buck comes in a couple more times before he meets Tommy. They end up talking at the bar for so long that Sal frisbees a beer mat to Buck with something written on it. "What's this?" Buck asks. "His number, get the fuck out of my restaurant. I closed twenty minutes ago," Sal says, and Tommy throws a napkin at him. Sal closes up and walks outside to see Buck and Tommy kissing up against the wall. He rolls his eyes and walks past them to his car, wishing them a good night. They don't hear him, and the security footage shows that they had nearly committed an act of public indecency in front of his restaurant about a half hour later. He texts a picture to Tommy saying he's coming in and helping Sal polish all the brass on the bar for this shit.
5. Eddie comes in with a woman, and things seem to be a little stilted between them. When he comes to the bar for another beer, Sal pours it for him. "Bad date?" Sal asks. "Sort of," Eddie says, sighing. "That's my wife." And Sal almost yanks the tap handle off. "Didn't know you were married," Sal says, sliding over a beer that's mostly head before pulling it back and dumping it out to pour a new one. "It's complicated," Eddie says, shrugging. "You ever been married?" "No, can't really find a guy willing to put up with my hours," Sal says, carefully pulling the new pint. "Or my family." He gives Eddie the beer and waves off the cash he tries putting down. Eddie trudges back to his table and sits down, and Sal goes back into the kitchen.
6. Three weeks go by with no Eddie. Sal is almost worried, but he sees Buck and Tommy one night and Buck says Eddie's fine. He's just dealing with some stuff. But he gives Sal a funny look when he says it. When Eddie comes in next, Sal is dredging eggplant and can't come out of the kitchen. He tells Del to just send him back and has Eddie post up on a stool near him. Eddie tries to quietly talk to him, but the kitchen is chaos, so he has to talk at normal volume for the most part. So everyone hears him say, "My wife thinks I have feelings for you, and I think she's right." And Sal nearly slices his thumb. "Say what now?" Sal asks, throwing shallots into a pan and whistling for Marty to come take over, because Marty has been staring at the same uncooked margherita with wide eyes for two minutes, so he's clearly not busy. "That's for the two piccata on twelve, don't fuck it up," Sal says, yanking off his bandana and marching Eddie into his office. He's about to try to save Eddie's marriage with some advice when Eddie cuts in and says, "Sorry, we're getting divorced. We haven't been together for a long time. Should I go?" And Sal shakes his head and crowds in close and kisses Eddie, and Eddie freezes for a moment before all but throwing himself against Sal and kissing him back.
7. Eddie has had two girlfriends in his whole life, and one of them ended up being his wife. The poor unknowingly demisexual guy has no experience dating men, but he kind of has no experience dating anyone. But he'd kept coming into Sal's for him as much as the food, and he hadn't really understood it until Buck had come out to him and had talked about how Tommy had made him feel and how it had been almost confusing until Tommy kissed him for the first time. Eddie had done a lot of thinking and talked to Buck and Shannon and even Hen about what the fuck was going on in his head, and then he'd realized the fact that he felt like he was punishing himself by not seeing Sal was also maybe really telling. And Sal finishes balancing the tills and shoves them and the deposit into his safe. He drags Eddie into the kitchen, perches him back on the stool in the now empty restaurant, and makes dinner. By the time he's sliding a plate of Pasta alla Norma across to Eddie, Eddie's looking at him like he might drag him back into the office where the couch is. "Easy, bello, it's just pasta," Sal teases.
8. They take it a little slow, because Sal hasn't been in a serious relationship in a while and Eddie's been dealing with a complicated situation. Shannon (Gonzo voice: who did not die) is back in the picture, and it turns out they're great co-parents. It uncomplicates things a little. When the bombing happens, Sal has the news on in the restaurant and closes the place to be at the hospital to hold Tommy and Eddie's hands until Buck wakes up. He crams food into Tommy's freezer and helps him make the place accessible for Buck while he recovers. Sal takes the afternoon off to personally cater Eddie's medal ceremony, and he's introduced to Eddie's parents. There's some friction for a little bit when Eddie doesn't specify that Sal is his boyfriend, but Sal would be a hypocrite to be totally angry. He did the same thing for years. It just sucks. And he's ready to head back to the restaurant to help with dinner when Eddie kisses him in the engine bay and begs him to stay. Then he walks him over to his parents and reintroduces him, saying, "This is Sal, my boyfriend." And Chris breaks the tension by adding, "Phew. I almost told them so many times."
9. Buck is mostly at Tommy's after the bombing, so no tsunami for him and Chris. Chris is at the restaurant that day, though, and they end up opening the doors to triage and feed people. Eddie shows up looking like warmed over hell and scoops his son up and hugs him close and leaning against Sal when his boyfriend hugs him, glad he's safe. There's no Chris nightmares, no Shannon death, so no fight club. He does still get shot, and Sal is a fucking mess. He doesn't leave the hospital, he begs any higher power to just bring Eddie back to him, and when Eddie wakes up, Sal sobs and slams the call button and curls his hands over Eddie's cheeks and says, "I'm here, sweetheart, I'm here. You're safe, I'm here." After, he slides a ring box across their kitchen table and says, "I bought this before. But I need to stop waiting for the right moment to ask, I almost lost my chance." Eddie doesn't want to get married just because he almost died, but he does want to get married, and he eventually realizes that's all that matters and goes to the restaurant and tells Sal to ask him again, handing him the box that's been sitting in Sal's dresser for the last three days after Eddie said he wasn't sure. Sal doesn't even get all the way to the ground on his knee before Eddie's saying, "Yes."
for @nine-one-wanton - inspired by "Terms and Conditions" (fic of all time). Sal/Eddie primarily, missing scene between chapters 17/18. hurt/comfort, angst, whump.
on ao3 or below
[wc: 3737]
It wasnāt the way the sex had gone that had Eddie feeling off.
The sex wasā¦incredible, honestly. It was slow, deliberate, shifting between tense and emotional to wild and free. When Sal came undone beneath him, Eddie felt something shift ā felt the way he shuddered, reverberating deep and echoing, etching into his bones.
It left him raw, still clinging to something he started to drift away from but wantedĀ so badlyĀ to keep. The sex undid something the same for him as it did for Sal.
Like a moth to a flame, Eddieās mesmerized now.
Entranced by the connection he feels every time he and Sal share a touch, every time they tumble over the edge together. Where Eddie feels most in control and Sal feels empowered out of it is unlike anything else.
Lingering a little too long, the feeling nearly drags him across a boundary Sal pretty firmly set.
He almost slips and calls SalĀ babyĀ when the sceneās over, when the quiet of the empty firehouse settles around them and leaves something cold and stilted behind.
Cleaning up becomes a timer, in some ways.
Sal ā never one for the quiet ā is withdrawn and still so deep in his own thoughts, Eddieād be hard-pressed to prove the bliss that crossed his face mere minutes before.
Banter picks up and fills in the gaps once he finally gets cleaning, Sal teasing him about his brain being functional so soon after their shared pleasure.
Itās familiar, the back-and-forth between them, the push and pull as ingrained in their relationship as the weekly schedule that lands them in situations just like this.
But it feels off. Somethingās not quite right and Eddie wracks his brain, shuffling and replaying bits from the scene and every moment leading up to it.
The boundary is there, itās fixed, not just suggestion but a promise ā trust between them is foundational in makingā¦whatever this is work. Still, Eddie wavers between pushing the issue and keeping a lid on it more than Chris flips on chocolate when it comes to his favorite flavor of ice cream.
It escapes before he makes the choice, the fear of having done something to royally fuck this up leaking out unbidden. āAre you okay?ā
Itās quieter than Eddie means it to be, so soft-spoken even heās surprised by the gentleness tucked into each word. Sal reacts immediately, jaw tensing and eyes shimmering with something like frustration.
Or was it anger?
Sadness?
āI know, I knowā¦ā Eddie says quickly, hoping to maintain the tenuous balance of whatever the hell this relationship is. What theyāve built up to this point. āYou told me before, back at the beach house. Or whatever. After the beach house. I get it. Outside of whatever this is, your business isnāt my businessā¦Butā¦ā he trails off, not quite sure how to explain.
A thought strikes him, then.
āI mean, I guess Iām just answering my own question here. Arenāt I?ā
Salās still quiet, unmoving. Eddieās chest is so tight with worry, he feels like his heartās ripped apart and the puzzle pieces are jamming against one another, not quite slotting back cleanly.
āAll Iāll ask is,ā Eddie takes a breath, trying to ease the feeling somehow. āIt seemed like something changed with youā¦partway through. I just need you to tell me if itās something I did, or something I made you feel. Or got careless with. Iā¦I need to know shit like that, so I can be better for you.ā
Heās already losing the control heād worked so hard to get a grip on. Itās coming apart as quickly as the words tumble out of his mouth.
āNo, it wasnāt you.ā Sal finally says, and Eddie exhales just barely, not experiencing the overwhelm of relief, still feeling unsteady. āYou sent me the video. I had another message.ā
Eddieās mind runs through everything he knows about the man standing in front of him ā the way he showed up one night on his doorstep with tears in his eyes and desperation in his voice. The way he avoids talking about his feelings like itās gonna kill him. God forbid he lets a piece of vulnerability escape outside of sparks between sheets.
He canāt get a handle on the way Salās making him feel right now ā the uncanny valley of his emotions pulling him deeper as Eddie waits for something āĀ anythingĀ ā more.
āThe other message wasā¦upsetting. But it wasnāt anything to do with you. Everything you didā¦just made it better. So. You know. Weāre good. You donāt have to worry.ā
That doesnāt help.
What is upsetting? Why isnāt Sal willing to talk to Eddie about it? Why does EddieĀ careĀ so much about something Sal so clearly wants to keep for himself? Itās not Eddieās to know, to manage, toĀ handle.
It still makes his chest ache.
āOkay.ā His eyes trace the lines of Salās body ā tight, unsettled, buzzing and restless. āYouā¦okay now? To drive?ā
Crossing his arms only hides him away more. Eddie wants so badly to pull them apart, tuck Sal against his ribs and tell him itās going to be okay.
But thatās not who they are. Thatās not what this is.
āIām stressed, Eddie. Not drunk.ā
āOkay,ā Eddie says, biting back more. āIām going to call you later tonight. Do my usual check-ins.ā
āI know,ā Sal says, rushing to add, āThank you.āĀ
When he leaves, Eddie feels like something else walks out with him ā the stability of control he always feels with Sal disappearing like a stolen breath.
Eddie sticks around a little longer, trying to wipe away the sticky feeling still trapped in his chest. Clorox doesnāt do much to help.
By the time he finally makes it to his car, he feels like he did when he walked in ā the way his anxiety is festering, trapping him in a stranglehold so tight heās itching for a round in a fight or to run into a fire.
Battling something unpredictable at least puts him on an even playing field.
Now, though, heās alone in it. Isolated in the warring feeling of worry that Sal seemed completely fine to leave behind.
But he didnāt. NotĀ really.
*
*
When traffic slows not far from the 122, Eddieās so distracted, he barely registers the scene. Itās not until the cars move ahead of him that he takes it in ā ambulance flashing red and whites while a fire engine does the same, slanted ad parked across the intersection.
Thereās two cars, one t-boned by the other. One of the guys is already yelling at the firefighters reaching for the door, words slurred and voice thick.
Drunk driver, Eddie thinks.
He takes it in ā the familiar push and pull of the saws and jaws, the highlighter yellow bands flashing against the streetlights as crew shifts and bends, working to get the victims free.
The other car isnāt visible until the truck in front of him pushes on and Eddieās heart does the opposite.
The familiar outline of Salās car, one heās seen every week since they started all this ā is crumpled, clearly spun out and tipped into oncoming traffic, the hood smashed and pressing into the windshield.
And there, inside ā eyes closed, limp and unmoving ā is Sal.
Eddie pulls his car into the intersection next to the engine, every logical thought ejected from his brain at the sight. He can only focus on the man trapped inside that car.
He shouldnāt have let him leave, shouldāve given him a ride, he knew something was offā
āSir, you canātāā
āIām a firefighter with the 118,ā he grinds out by way of explanation, surprised at how steady his voice sounds. āI know him.ā
It doesnāt matter; he knows that. Heās not wearing turnouts, isnāt working ā heās just another civilian right now, a nobody.
EspeciallyĀ to Sal.
āLet me through,ā he shoves back a firefighter āĀ GordonsĀ apparently, from where its stitched across the hem of his jacket. Heās so surprised he barely moves, not until Eddie gets a couple of steps ahead and his brain seemingly catches up.
āSir, you canāt go up there,ā Gordons, the ass,Ā shouts as he yanks Eddie back by the elbow. āYou need to get behind theāā
āIām a medic,ā he says desperately, tears threatening to spill. He has to fix this ā has to make sure Salās okay. If something happened to him and heās not, and Eddie just let himā¦heĀ hasĀ to be okay.
āSo are they,ā Gordons says, gesturing to the two-man team pushed up to the driverās side door, quickly assessing and latching a c-collar around Salās neck.
Eddie canāt see, canāt tell if Salās eyes are shut, if heās talking to them or theyāre talking to one another.
āPlease, I justā¦is he okay?ā The words feel like betrayal, his emotions so loud and raw, spilling out onto the street like the broken glass and twisted metal that surrounds Sal now.
Eddie catches another glimpse through the crowd and sees blood.
His stomach drops clear through the street, the realization that itās his fault Salās hurt āĀ bleedingĀ ā nearly taking him out at the knees.
Gordons seems to take some pity on him, reaching for his radio and asking his captain for an update.
āIn and out of consciousness,ā the voice crackles back. āStable, though. Heading to Presby.ā
Gordons turns back to Eddie, āPresbyterian. Meet them there.ā
āTh-Thank you,ā Eddie says, rushing back to his car, heart in his throat.
*
*
Getting to the hospital in one piece is a miracle in and of itself, and by the time Eddie gets through the emergency room doors, Salās already been taken back.
Itās not until he gets to the nursesā station that he realizes he has no way to get information ā heās not Salās emergency contact. Hell, heās not even sure people in their lives would call them friends.
As far as most people are concerned, him and Sal are co-best men in a wedding. They tolerate each other one night a week with the help of booze and the safety of a crowd. Ā
It stops him dead in his tracks, tears still burning at the back of his eyes like theyāre just waiting for his weakest moment to fall. Instead of asking for help, he takes a sharp left, heading towards a bathroom and a dark staircase heās spent way too many years and far too many friends in hospital beds of their own hunched over inside waiting for news.
Pulling out his phone, he sees the group chat light up with a message from Tommy, followed by three more from Hen, Chim, and Buck. When he opens the thread, Tommyās name fills the screen again.
Heās Salās emergency contact.
Got the call about the accident.
Him and Buck are on their way to the hospital and will let the group know when they find out more information.
Is there anything they can do, Hen wants to know, with an offer on its tail from Chim to get more info from his fellow captain if they need it. Buck asks them to make sure Salās captain knows and promises to fill them in when they get here.
Eddie doesnāt respond. Not right away.
It feels like thereās a boulder sitting in his gut, his chest heavy with a breath he canāt quite catch. The image of Sal, bleeding and alone in the middle of the cold street flashes through his mind.
Shannonās face on the asphalt quickly follows, and Eddie barely makes it to the bathroom before he loses everything in his stomach, tears finally cresting with the worst of the pain in it all.
His phone rings and the shrill tone startles him, echoing against the tile in the cold, desolate bathroom at the end of the hospital hall.
Buck.
Eddie swallows back more bile that threatens to come up and coughs, trying to get his voice to cooperate ā sound something close to human.
āHello?ā
āHey Eddie, itās me,ā he says, the drone of the hospital dragging on in the background.
They made it here quick, Eddie vaguely thinks before realizing he mightāve been hunched against the bathroom wall a lot longer than he realizes.
āHey Buck, whatās up?ā He hasnāt had a chance to reply to the messages, doesnāt feel like he can push the words out without cracking open completely.
āTommy and I are at Presbyterian,ā he explains gently, worry lacing each word. āSal got in a car accident. He-heās with doctors now. We should know more soon.ā
Eddie nods dumbly as tears stream down his cheeks.
āIs he okay?ā he says, using every bit of his remaining adrenaline toĀ keep a fucking lid on it.
Heās got maybe ten minutes before his body moves without permission, the urgent need to run through the halls and find Sal ā get his eyes on him, make sure heās breathing and in one piece ā overwhelming. Ensure heās not bleeding anymore. The feeling bowls through him like a rising tide.
āHeās conscious. Uh, it sounds like a few broken ribs. Concussion, at least,ā Buck says. āHeāll be okay, though.ā
āO-Okay, thatāsā¦thatās good,ā Eddie feels like heās barely keeping it together, but he has to try. Buck knows him better than most, and heāll be able to sniff out somethingās wrong easily if Eddie lets his guard down too much.
āCan you, uh, we were thinking you and Tommy could grab stuff from his place if you donāt mindā¦helping out?ā
Buck might know more than Eddie realizes, but in this case heās grateful for the olive branch.
āYeah, Chris isā¦I can come now,ā Eddie says, swiping at the stray tears sticking to his cheeks. āYou guys need anything?ā
āNo,ā Buck says softly, voice gentle enough Eddie knows if they were together, heād reach out and wrap an arm around his shoulders. Itās nice, even if it doesnāt take away the worry. āWeāre on the fourth floor in the waiting room near surgery.ā
āSurgery?ā Eddie asks, the worry that started to tamp down climbing back with a vengeance. āI thought you said it was just a couple of broken ribs?ā
āY-Yeah, no, heās not having surgery. O-Or not yet, anyways, itās just the ambulatory unit or whateverā¦he got admitted instead of staying in the E.R.ā
āOh, right,ā Eddie stands and sways, not quite realizing how long heād been curled into himself on the icy tile floor. āOkay, Iām on my way.ā
āDrive safe,ā Buck emphasizes.
āYeah, of course,ā Eddie says as if he didnāt dissociate his way to the hospital some forty-five minutes before.
Eddie walks down to the parking lot to get a breath of fresh air before circling back to the entrance, walking through the main doors and slipping into another bathroom to make sure he doesnāt look like he shattered apart before heading up to Buck and Tommy.
Theyāre kind enough that they donāt mention his blotchy face and exhausted smile, instead leaning into one another in a way that makes Eddie ache.
He wants to feel that solidness ā the weight of Sal ā skin warm beneath his fingertips, blue eyes sharp and wild, teasing without words.
*
*
When Tommy leads Eddie out to his truck, heās distracted by his own worries, quiet but not irritated, calm with the to-do list sent through his phone.
Him and Eddie are similar in that way ā the need toĀ do something, to feel some semblance of control ā the only way they can navigate the stormy waters of fear and pain.
They donāt talk much on the drive and Eddieās quietly grateful. The radio hums softly in the background, the dark of the night shifting with headlights that shimmer as they pass by.
āBuck and I are gonna have him stay with us,ā Tommy says once they reach the freeway. āIn the guest room. We can work different shifts, so someone will be there to help.ā
āThatāsā¦thatās a good idea,ā Eddie says, fighting the urge to push back.
āIām sure heāll be annoyed but,ā Tommy shrugs. āItās not like he can really argue. Evan will pull up the x-rays if he has to.ā
Eddie huffs out a hollow chuckle, āYeah, sounds like Buck.ā
Thereās a beat and Eddieās talking again before thinking.
āYou guys donāt have enough going on with the wedding?ā he asks, trying his best to act nonchalant but failing miserably.
Tommyās unphased.
āI think itāll be good, honestly,ā he says with a crooked grin and a shimmer in his eyes thatās always there when he talks about Buck. āEvan will have another project, so he doesnāt get too wrapped up in the wedding stuff. Weāve got help for that anyways.ā
āOf course,ā Eddie smiles.
āPlus, with Chris ā Iām sure itād be tough for you guys,ā Tommy adds, pulling into Salās lot. āWe can deal with cranky Sal for a couple of weeks.ā
āYou donāt think Chris would like it?ā Eddie teases, emotions riding the wave of comfort over being at Salās place into the deep waters of worry over why theyāre there without him.
āOh, Iām sure Chris would be fine,ā Tommy chuckles. āItās Sal I donāt trust.ā
Salās place looks like it always does. Stray mail tossed on the table, laptop open and buried under stacks of recipes, wedding tasks courtesy of Buck, a magazine he must get for free about his neighborhood.
Heās got a couple of pen marks circling a few of the events coming up ā an art fair, a lawn concert, some kind of Italian cooking class.
Eddie softens at the sight, the familiarity of it soothing the worry briefly.
Tommy wanders through like he lives there, knows it like he knows his own place ā pulling an old duffle from the front closet and tossing the charger from the coffee table in with a couple of books dog-eared near it.
He palms the laptop and clicks it shut, shoving it and its charger in the bag too. By the time he wanders into the bathroom, Eddie drifts toward the bedroom, wanting to touch something of Salās ā to feel a piece of him in place of a hand he canāt latch onto.
āIāll grab his toothbrush and stuff,ā Tommy says, mumbling something else about how much he hates the smell of Salās deodorant before a clatter echoes through the apartment.
Eddie loves the smell. Maybe he shouldāve packed the bathroom stuff.
Instead, he wanders over to the dresser, tugging open the top drawer where Sal keeps his socks and boxers, frees a few and tosses them on the bed. He smiles at Salās favorite socks ā ones with a hole in the toe and a little nonna flipping the bird traced along the ankle. Those get tossed with the stack on the bed.
Pulling open another drawer, he grabs shorts and t-shirts, sweatpants and a zip-up hoodie. Each time he reaches to toss something back, he holds onto it a little bit longer, grips a little tighter.
Tommy strolls in and grabs whatās on the bed, shoving it in the bag along with the toiletries. He pulls open the closet, fingers tracing hangers lined with Salās shirts and skipping over several before exhaling in frustration.
āThis guy. Does he know what size he wears? No chance in hell heās gonna want to put one of these on with four broken ribs,ā Tommy gripes before abandoning the effort. āIāll grab some from my place that are bigger ā some button-ups.ā
āGood idea,ā Eddie says before leaning over and reaching for Salās slip-ons. Tommy laughs as he takes them and adds them to the bag.
āOld man,ā he mutters and Eddie laughs, wishing he could hear Salās quick response to Tommyās jab. Ā
āAnything else?ā he asks, wanting more than anything to stay.
Wanting to leave just as badly ā be at Salās side as soon as possible.
Tommy shakes his head before his eyes latch onto Eddieās. āI can always come back. You okay? I know itāsā¦jarring.ā
āIāmā¦yeah, Iām okay,ā Eddieās quick to say. He adds, āAre you?ā
āTalking to the nurse helped,ā Tommy says before a shudder runs through him. āBut itās scary. Iām glad heās okay.ā
āYeah,ā Eddie exhales. āMe, too. Iām justā¦worried is all.ā
Tommy softens, and squeezes Eddieās shoulder, nodding toward the door. āI think we have everything, letās get back. Maybe we can see him.ā
The drive back is somehow worse than the drive away from the hospital, the guilt Eddieās been steadily wading through reaching chest height now. The longer he goes without seeing Sal, the worse it gets, and the voice in his head is screaming that if people just knew aboutĀ them,Ā he could be at his side.
Sal could come home with him.
He would take care of him like heās supposed to.
Like heĀ alwaysĀ does.
Or should.
He didnāt tonight. The guilt is eating him alive and no matter what, heās sure heāll have to live with the knowledge for longer than it takes for Salās broken ribs to heal.
It takes a while, but eventually heās alone with Sal, asleep and battered tucked into stiff hospital sheets. Face and arms littered with constellations of black and purple, dark bags under his eyes peeking through the bruises and scrapes.
Itāsā¦jarring, he supposes, to see such a brash, loud, unapologetic man so still. Quiet.
The tears that finally stopped pick up again, steadily streaming down Eddieās face.
SalāsĀ okayĀ ā they know he only has a concussion and four broken ribs, lungs battered but whole, organs all in place. No internal bleeding found, nothing concerning with the head scan.
Eddie canāt think about a world with a twisted funhouse mirror of the past ā one where Sal didnāt make it just like Shannon. One that left a gaping hole where his heart used to be.
They might not be everything Eddie longs for every time a door closes between them. But he feels it all the same.
For now, heāll just watch.
Keep an eye on Salās breaths that stutter in and out with a grimace even in sleep. Watch the monitor and track his vital signs like theyāre keeping him tethered to gravity.
And though it all, heāll hope that somehow, some day, he can make up for the broken man in a hospital bed, only here because of Eddie.
Heāll try knowing, really, heāll never quite be able to reach it.
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