#sakata

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺ this is based on this plot, but you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to but in order to understand a few details, you might want to give it a read! i have so many fun ideas for silent reader x ex!gintoki so be prepared! also see pinned post for banner creds + where i find fan arts! #ihateabitchthatsteals.

! YOU'RE JEALOUS OF SARUTOBI.

Silence was your friend but in this case, it was your greatest foe. You were on a morning stroll to clear your head of some things when all of a sudden, you noticed a familiar woman fawning over a very familiar man.

Your eyes narrow instantly. Gintoki pulled a face of anger, Kagura stared at her, bored, Shinpachi was awkward and you were seething.

Still, you lower your head slightly, keeping your eyes ahead as you walk past them. Time slowed, and all eyes went to you, and when Gintoki clocked that it was you, his eyes widen briefly.

"Oh, if it isn't the whore who stole my man!" Sarutobi snapped, raising her hand to push her glasses up. "Whore, whore, who-"

Your fist was raised, eyes wide, a sadistic grin on your face, ready to attack her. You weren't called the demon woman for shits and giggles. No one was allowed to insult you and get away with it.

Shinpachi screamed in horror, Gintoki dragged out a sigh, and Kagura beat you to it.

Kagura kicked her and sent her flying. "That will teach you for insulting my sister Name!"

Gintoki looked at you. "What are you doing out here? It's early, you don't like early."

You give him the middle finger in response. Walk away. Kagura followed after you, laughing. Gintoki's eye twitched, as did his lip when he smiled.

"You're in big trouble." Shinpachi said, thankful he never once had to face your anger.

"Name-chan." Gintoki said smoothly, his voice nervous, slinging his arm around your shoulder. You take his arm off your shoulder. "Name-chan?"

"Hah, Gin-chan, sister Name doesn't like you anymore."

"Kagura, you be quiet!" Gintoki snapped, forcefully pulling you into his side. "I don't even like her, that woman! Always causing problems."

You take out your pen and paper.

Go away, Gintoki. Not you Kagura, I love you and Shinpachi, you two can stay.

Gintoki screamed in horror, Kagura and Shinpachi laughed, and you smile. And when they begin to argue amongst themselves, your heart softens.

You love them all.

! OPERATION MAKE GINTOKI JEALOUS.

"So let me get this straight," Toshi says, reading what you had written, and forced back a chuckle. "You want me to kiss you to make Gintoki jealous?"

You nod. He dragged out a sigh.

That's what he gets for being at a bar with other women.

"Aren't you two divorced?"

Yes.

You pause.

He started this though, I was ready to move on.

"That much is true." Toshi hummed.

He had never seen the Odd Jobs man so angry in the time that he has known Sakata Gintoki. Hijikata went on a date with you and he crashed it, livid as ever, and even threatened to slice Toshi's precious jewels if Toshi even thought about you. Gintoki didn't approve of the friendship you had with him and even included himself on the "fun" you two were having.

Movie night? Gintoki's there. Walk in the park? Gintoki's there. Eating at a restaurant? Gintoki's there. Staying over at each other's houses? Sakata. Gintoki. Is. Fucking. There.

"Alright, I'll do it. Come on." Toshi says, taking your hand, and walks with you throughout the city.

His hand in your hand didn't feel right. No one's hand did. Only Gintoki's.

You walk with him, smiling as he spoke, and did your best to speak back. Baby steps, Gintoki's voice filled your mind.

Sakata was with Kondo and Shinpachi, the two of them listening to him cry about Tae, Shinpachi's sister, not liking him back.

Gintoki had a parfait in front of him, leaning against his palm, bored, until Shinpachi let out a horrified scream.

"Hijikata and N-Name?" Shinpachi screamed, pointing out the window, and Kondo and Gintoki frowned.

"Name? What are you-?" Gintoki looked to where Shinpachi was pointing.

You. Hijikata. Kissing.

"T-TOSHI?" Kondo screamed, then screamed again when the window broke.

Gintoki smashed the window and ran towards you two.

His heart beat widely in his chest. He was feeling murderous.

Kondo and Shinpachi could only watch as Gintoki tore Hijikata away from you with a crazed look in his eyes, his grip so tight, Hijikata could've died right then and there.

Of course, you step in.

You flick Gintoki on the forehead. He turned to look at you and dropped Hijikata on the ground.

"What are you doing?"

You were about to take out your pen and paper.

"Use your voice," Gintoki says, fingers twitching. He brought his hand up to your face and wiped your mouth with his thumb.

You give him a deadpanned look. It took awhile but then, the words found you.

"I'm..." You grin. "Single."

Which basically meant fuck you, I can kiss whoever I want, and Gintoki didn't like that.

He didn't like that at all.

"Toshi," Kondo whispered in amazement, and you turn to look at him, then at Hijikata to see if he was okay. He gave you a nod and a smirk in response. "Woah, I didn't know you had it in you!"

"I didn't either." Gintoki snapped. "You see this?" He pats your lip. "Off limits, bastard! You see this?” He waved his hand down there which resulted in a smack from you around his head. It didn’t phase him. “Off limits, bastard!”

When Hijikata's smirk widens, and he had the audacity to lick his lips, Gintoki snarled. About to attack. But you hold him back.

Don't hang out with other women at bars then we won't have a problem.

He reads what you had written. Processed it. Then grins.

"You did it to make me jealous?" Gintoki huffed, pocketing the piece of paper.

You wave your hand in the air.

"Congratulations, it worked. Now let's go." Gintoki took your hand. "You can tell me all about how stinky and disgusting the kiss was."

I liked it.

Gintoki's eye twitched. Horrified. He knew when you lie, and he knew you were lying now but still seeing the words come from you made him want to hurl. He pulled you into him, letting out a tsk. You ignore Gintoki calling you a pain in his ass, and satisfaction runs through you at what he says next:

"Woman," Gintoki hissed. "I'm never going to any bar ever again."

You smirk.

Your plan worked.

Would you do it again? Definitely not.