The crowd in the lobby parted as her boots clanged against the tile floring, the noise echoing throughout the hall. Even her officers - and they were hers again - stared at her in consternation, not willing to do anything to slow her down.

Reaching forward with her bending, she wrenched the swinging wooden doors forward and out of her line of progress. She squelched the guilt she felt when someone got smacked off their feet.

At the top of the stairs to the third floor, she slammed open the door to the bullpen and shouted, “SAIKHAN!”

Everyone in the room froze. She ignored the gapes, the terrified looks on faces.

Her breaths were harsh and loud, her fists tight with rage.

At the other end of the room, the door to her - hers, not his - office slowly swung open.

And there he stood, in full uniform as if he hadn’t been fired the second she got her bending back.

“Lin, you have to know I didn’t ask for this. I never wanted this.”

With pin-point precision, she latched hold of his chestpiece and yanked him across the room, disturbing nothing else in the room. His head flailed backwards, but he caught himself, and tried to fight back.

One of the first things recruits to the metalbending unit learned was control of their own armor at all times. Humiliation didn’t begin to cover what she was doing to him.

She grasped his armor in her hand when they made contact and she crumpled it like so much waste paper.

“You gave in to Tarlock. You corralled civilians! You harrassed non-benders! You gave them everything they wanted! And for what? So you could call yourself Chief when you looked in the mirror?”

At that, his face hardened, even while raising his hands to either side.

“For my kids, Lin. First Tarlock, then Amon. They lost their bending, then they were in cages, and not even together. They had Ming-Li in city hall as a servant. I didn’t see her for weeks.”

His face crumpled and tears fell from his eyes. He shifted, and the full weight of his armor pulled against her before she could control it.

He had opened his armor at the back and stepped away from her.

Piece by piece, the rest of his armor clattered to the ground as he walked away in nothing but his undershirt and trousers.

The bottle of gin scraped across the marble countertop as she dragged it towards herself and chugged for a few seconds. It burned on the way down, and the burn turned to warmth that spread from her stomach through her tense muscles to every inch of her skin. She took some steadying breaths as she stared at the phone. The image of it became blurry and she angrily wiped away the tears that she would not allow to fall.

It’s been three years.

Get a grip.

One more time tipping back the bottle. Courage, she told herself.

Courage.

She dialed the number and picked at the label on the bottle while she waited for the line to connect.

Saikhan.

“Come pick me up.”

Oh- alright. You okay, chief?

She hung up the phone instead of responding and went to go put her uniform on. Saikhan was knocking on her door within minutes and she was ready for him, presentable as ever, not a hair out of place. It was only the redness of her eyes that betrayed her.

“Let’s go.”

She made sure Saikhan went down the stairs first, otherwise he might have seen her struggling to walk in a straight line. He was obviously concerned about why he was summoned to her house, hailed like a private taxi for her on her day off.

Her one day off.

This day.

Annually.

Like clockwork.

She let go of the railing to rub away the phantom sensation of pressure in the middle of her forehead and almost tripped, but by the time Saikhan turned around she had righted herself.

“Eyes front,” she barked.

Saikhan turned back around and opened the door that led to the street. It was a sunny day, but she could still feel the cold rain on her face, trickling down her skin under her armor. The fear.

Why?

I don’t understand.

I don’t understand.

“Where to?” he asked once they were in his squad car.

She didn’t remember getting in the passenger seat. “The docks.”

She wished she had brought the booze with her. Saikhan drove like a grandmother.

“Where is the avatar?!”

Blood stained her tongue and teeth. All she could taste was iron.

“Where are the airbenders?!?”

Were those snapping sounds her bones?

“Stop the car.”

“Chief, we’re in the middle of a bridge.”

Lin reached up to flip the emergency lights on and started opening the door. Saikhan skidded to a stop, much to the chagrin of the single lane of traffic behind him. Lin bounded out of the car and over the sidewalk to put her head through safety bars below the handrails and began to vomit.

“Spirits in all hell.” Saikhan got out of the car and ran over to try to hide her with his larger form. If news of this got out, the press would have a field day. He put his hand on her back and she shoved him away before continuing to wretch off the bridge. Cars started honking their horns.

“Chief…”

“Shut—shut the fuck up and get back in the car.” She heaved again.

Saikhan hovered until she pulled her head back through the bars. They got in the car and continued on.

“You sure you should be getting on a boat—”

“Do you want to get demoted?”

He remained quiet and dropped her at the docks without so much as a parting “see you tomorrow.”

Lin boarded the next ferry to Air Temple Island and stood like a pissed off statue the whole way there.

People got out of her way as she made for the steps and started marching up to the temple. Towards the top she could already hear Pema poorly singing one of those nomad tunes for children.

“Auntie Chief!!”

Little Rohan perked up from the group of children and sprinted over. Rocks he had been bending clattered on the ground, forgotten as he ran to Lin. She braced herself just in time to catch him. His bright eyes, excited laughter, and face smeared with something multicolored was enough to make Lin crack a smile.

“Happy birthday, rookie. Did you have cake?”

“Yeah!” He threw his arms up in excitement and then wrapped them around Lin’s neck and started tugging. “You eat cake too!”

Lin laughed. It was surprising how genuine it felt. She started walking towards the rest of the party. “Are you sure what’s left of the cake isn’t all over your face?”

Rohan smiled and shook his head. “I left some for aunt shief!”

“Thanks, rookie.”

She put Rohan down by his mother and the brief eye contact they shared was enough to recognize that Pema was not having a good day either. Pema looked away first, her voice still bubbly for the young children she was trying to entertain, but Lin saw that her eyes and nose were pink. She assumed it was probably from wiping her face. Rohan had no intention of letting her dwell on it, though. He grabbed her hand and took off. She was turned abruptly and smacked into something both hard and soft.

“Oof.” Tenzin stood there rubbing where her metal shoulder caught his chest. The bags under his eyes made him looked like he hadn’t slept in a week.

Rohan kept running. So much for needing her presence.

“Watch where you’re going,” Lin snapped.