Shuichi Saihara loved you so much it hurt.

Shuichi loved you so, so much. It was so painful, so overwhelming.

Shuichi doesn’t and never has never understood this strange, aching feeling he feels for you. Sometimes, he feels as though his love for you is so strong that he could just die right then and there.

If not die, Shuichi wants to feel something. He wants to hurt, to bleed, to feel a different, physical, pain than whatever he was feeling emotionally.

But he hates hurting… no one likes it really…

So why is he doing this to himself?

Maybe… he just likes the idea of it.

Maybe Shuichi likes the idea of hurting himself. Why else would he stare expressionlessly and emotionlessly at the bright pink blood rolling down his arm and onto the spotless sheets of the mattress from the deep wounds he has afflicted upon his arm.

He may have hated pain at first, but he’s numb to it now.

“I can’t stop think about her… why can’t I…?”

But isn’t it normal for the one you’re in love with to live rent free in your mind? To corrupt your thoughts, to get in the way of anything and everything else?

Dear God, why must it be that way? Is it the same for you?

Well, that is if you even reciprocate him feelings.

And what if you didn’t?

That would be very unfortunate. Especially giving how many days and sleepless nights he’s spent following you around and watching you from the distance at home, at school, everywhere.

Actually, Shuichi made it a recurring part of his day-to-day schedule to stalk you. Of course, he would never admit to it or even call it “stalking.” It’s just “investigating” or even “observing” you… but we all know that’s a lie.

When Shuichi is obsessed with something, wether it be a TV show or a person, he must discover out anything and everything there is to know about it.

So it was only natural for Shuichi to overhear you mention that you have felt like you’re being watched, even in the comfort of your own home.

But what really caught his attention was you mentioning that you have always dreamed of having a stalker. Whether it be a friend or a partner or someone completely different.

Shuichi was completely taken aback at this discovery. He couldn’t belive it.

Is… that true? Shuichi would think. Maybe, just maybe, the feelings he feels toward you are normal? Being madly in love with someone to the point of hurting yourself and possibly others is… normal?

If so, then why do you get so… so scared and concerned when he somehow gets your phone number when you two have only interacted once.

UNKNOWN

Hey

Is this Y/n?

YOU

Who is this??

UNKNOWN

Shuichi Saihara

Im in your history class

YOU

How did you get my number?

Hello??

And then, the next day at school when you would ask, “Shuichi… how did you get my number?”

He’ll only stare at you for a moment until muttering, “Oh, that? A, Uh, a friend gave it to me.”

But you saw right through his pathetic lies. His only friends don’t even talk to you.

If you’ve always wanted a stalker, so why do you get so jumpy when no one’s around? Why do you start looking around frantically whenever you hear a sudden noise or sense the slightest movement.

Shuichi thought you wanted this. You do want this, don’t you?

Don’t you love it?

You have to, if not, why would you even mention that you were interested in stalkers? It doesn’t make any damn sense.

He so desperately wants to confess his undying love for you before it’s too late, but he just can’t. You just wouldn’t understand that you’re the only reason he still wishes to wake up in the morning. The only reason why he hasn’t ended it all yet.

“Did you really mean it, Y/n, or were you just lying? Because, ‘cause I just can’t take it anymore…! please just tell me how you feel. Because if you don’t actually love me back I — I don’t know what I’d do to myself.”

I haven’t posted about dr in a while and this won’t be happening again anytime soon

I rewatched jay play drv3 bc I completed it a year ago and totally forgot basically everything abt it and shuichi was lowkey about to end it all like twice omg. I forgot how borderline suicidal he was but it’s okay I still love him

"Oh God, don't stop– don't stop!" He begs, your hands pulling against the threads of his hair, forcing his head down to your shoulder.

He bit down onto your shoulder to keep himself quiet as he cried, hands holding onto either side of your body. "Fuck–" he drags out, his voice low as he smoothed over the bite mark with breathless kisses.

He whines loudly, rutting into you like it's the only thing he'd been built for. "S-shuichi!" You fumble out, body moving against the bed every time he makes contact with you.

You let out a chocked moan, eyes shut tightly as you pulled at his hair harshly. Your hands didn't know what to grab asides from him, forcing all your built-up sensations in your body to move out in erratic tugs and yanks.

His hair was soft against your palms, a deep teal that you usually couldn't help but play with. Right now, in this moment, you don't think you could even remember what color it was. All you could do was feel.

"You're so good," he groaned, and your hands only tightened near his scalp, body rocking in time with his. His hips stuttered roughly, but he didn't stop, panting next to your ear.

You whine his name, back arched with your head thrown back, hair messy against the pillows. "So close, let me cum in you, please," he begs so softly, twitching inside of you.

"Mhm– yes!" You respond in a yelp, soothing his head with gentle fingers before naturally tightening against the locks again.

He doesn't reply, breathing heavily as he fucks into you, chasing his release like it'll save his life. Every moan you let out gets higher with each thrust of his, your voice bouncing in rhythm.

His hips stutter once, then twice, and then he cums with no warning. He lets out a long cry, whining into your hot skin with shaking legs. He keeps moving, even through mild overstimulation, until you've finished as well.

Your hands finally release his hair and his basically flops down on top of you, not bothering to pull out. "Thank you," he whispers, kissing your neck gently.

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

I am so sorry this is so short, I swear I'm not trying to be a dickhead with these 😭

Once I'm done with kinktober, I will probably come back to some of these ideas and make longer writings (especially this one because shuichi and hair pulling is so yum)

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