#sadexcuse

What I don’t seem to understand

My mother Ex crack whore Telling my father “She’s lost so much weight” “There’s no telling what kind of drugs she’s on” “I tried to intervene.. Which is why we disagreed and I kicked her out”

I smoke pot My mother kicked me out because she told me to go strip on bourbon And I told her no NOT EXAGGERATING So mother.. A poor excuse of one at that Were you trying to “intervene” when you kicked me out for going to college and not going strip.. Or were you trying to “intervene” when you told me you wished you got an abortion? That’s one hell of a way to intervene I’m losing so much weight Because I’m depressed at the sad excuse of a mother I have Ask my doctor He’ll tell you the same From all the years of abandonment Or Maybe it all started when I had to live and sleep out of my car Because I Didn’t Make My Bed Toyoursatisfaction Or when you tried to kill my pet because of it

But you’re only concerned for me right?

Please do me a favor and stay out of my life all together.. It’s better that way

And stop deciding when to be concerned about me when you’ve made it clear you haven’t cared from the beginning via your actions so stop playing the pity party for the attention because everyone knows what kind of person you are

Most people say I should be grateful I have a mother But when your mother is as big of a piece of shit as mine.. What’s there really to be grateful for?

Im letting go, and knowing my mom will probably look at this just makes it all the more fun

YOU HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME. My hopes, dreams, aspirations. Security, safety, self-respect. My confidence, happiness, and trust. 

How can I survive when I have you for a mother. A depressed, hopeless women that has no hope for anything everyday. You complain constantly, never accepting and being happy with what is in front of you. I never had a active father, and you make it feel like I never had a mother too. You focus on work, and money. You dont and never have been an active part of my life. You have do your best to destroy every part of happiness in my life. I have no security in my home, constantly coming home to unhappiness, arguing, disappointing and fighting. 

You dont believe I have a future in front of me. You constantly put me down, telling me how i will have to stay home after highschool. Telling me to stay for you. Telling me im not good enough to get a scholarship or any future ahead of me. 

I have no confidence or self-respect due to your constant years of abuse, verbally, physically, and emotionally. I never feel good enough, cause you often tell me how im not. You have thrown me against walls, thrown cat shit at me, and have slapped or shoved me multiple times. I am done.