#sachigram

Shizuo hadn’t noticed it much before; just how comfortable Shinra was with Izaya. Shinra had always been comfortable around Shizuo too, which was weird enough, but he could sense something different; some strange energy that was neither positive nor negative between them. 

“Welcome to our home!” Shinra said excitedly as they entered. “So happy to have you both here together in peace for once!”

Shizuo glared at him as they were coming in and flicked him on the forehead. He didn’t know why Shinra always felt the need to comment on how weird their relationship was. Izaya, for his part, was leaving it up to Shizuo to handle their annoyances as he stood behind him, holding him by the arm.

“This is the third time now that we’ve been to your apartment together. Give it a rest already!”

“Right, right, it’s as you say! But even so!” Shinra said, picking himself up off the floor after Shizuo spun him into a tizzy. “I can’t believe Izaya hasn’t tricked you into destroying our apartment yet! Or hired a bunch of hitmen to come jump us during our dinner party to make the whole thing more exciting. He gets bored very easily, you know!”

“That’s very rude to say you know, Shinra.” Izaya said dryly from behind him. 

“I only meant it as a compliment, you know! It just means that you have a er, certain taste for life!” Shinra said, waving placatingly. 

Izaya scoffed at his reply. Shizuo, on the other hand, was already boiling mad. 

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean! Why are you trying to tell me about Izaya like I don’t already know him?” 

“Ah! I wasn’t! I mean… well, it’s just that Izaya’s always been very secretive about how his mind works so...”

“There you go again,” Shizuo snapped, “Do you honestly think I’d be in a relationship with him if I didn’t know what kind of person he is?!” he grabbed Shinra by the coat and started vigorously shaking him, Shinra yelping with dismay as he did so. 

To his side, gently cupping his elbow with their hand, Izaya put a hand to Shizuo’s chest to prompt the other into meeting his eye.

“Now Shizu-chan,” he said in a tranquil, soothing voice that Shizuo only got when he was being unreasonable, “You don’t have to be so insecure about how well Shinra knows me. He’s just a blabbermouth after all. He doesn’t know any better.” 

Izaya was smiling pleasantly, and Shizuo could almost swear that it made him happy to see Shizuo so annoyed. He dropped Shinra, pushing him aside.

“As if I’d ever be insecure,” he said dryly, “You may be a closed book to some people, but I know you better than you know yourself.”

“Ah, so confident. If you say so.” Izaya turned away from him, the corner of his mouth had twisted into a delicate smile. 

Shizuo was about to open his mouth to say something even more irritably, but that’s when Celty came into the room to announce that their dinner was ready. Izaya pulled him away and sat them down. Celty sat with them, despite not eating or drinking anything herself, and Shinra filled the silence at the dinner table by regaling the chronicles of Celty’s cooking journey, jostling the cup of alcohol in his hand that always seemed to be mostly empty despite filling it several times. Celty chided him about being overly rambunctious with his drinking but Shizuo had the feeling that she was mostly just embarrassed to have him gushing over her. Izaya made a few comments here and there, nursing the same drink most of the night, but he mostly just stared off into space until Shinra said anything to him. He wasn’t actually all that good at social gatherings like this; neither was Shizuo. 

“So what do you two do for dates anyway?” Shinra said all of sudden, his sentences full of pauses. “Shizuo doesn’t like fancy restaurants, and Izaya, you hate fast food don’t you? I mean, you two have very different tastes, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Izaya said dryly, “It’s quite the dilemma for us, deciding where to eat all the time.” he rolled his eyes before adding, “Which I’m sure is no issue for you since Celty never has to eat at all.”

Celty clenched her fist, but Shizuo was already too annoyed by what Shinra had said to reprimand Izaya. 

“Why do you keep saying shit like that?”

“Ah Shizuo, don’t you think you’re being a bit too sensitive?” Shinra quipped, “I mean I’m sure Izaya says all kinds of insensitive things to you all the time.”

Celty whipped back around to face him. [As if you should be acting like him anyway, Shinra!]

“It seems I’m being held down as the lowest standard,” Izaya said, chuckling a bit. Shizuo glared at him, and he smirked right back. “Well? If you have something to say, then just say it.”

“Me?” Shizuo said, “What’s with you? You sound like you agree with him.”

“I don’t hear you disagreeing.” Izaya shrugged, taking a sip of his drink.

“Don’t fight, you guys,” Shinra said nervously. “It was just a joke.”

“Shut up!” Shizuo snapped at him, “I don’t like the way you keep trying to lecture me about how Izaya is. I can think for my own damn self about how he is!”

He didn’t give a shit if Shinra was tipsy. He’d knock his face right in. 

“Okay, okay already! Jeez. You know, it’s kind of refreshing to see you being so protective of Izaya, Shizuo! You were always so keen on knocking his skull loose in the past.”

That’s when Shizuo finally caught sight of Izaya rolling his eyes. He cast his gaze away, and Shizuo knew that look. He was mentally clocking out. He even finished his drink.

“The past this, the past that…” Shizuo muttered, keeping his eyes on Izaya, “You don’t know anything about us except what we were to each other in the past.”

Izaya made the barest of movements from where he was looking away. His hand flexed in his lap from under the table. 

“Ah, that’s true. But really, how can you two have changed all that much, you know? You acted the same way fresh outta high school for over ten years!”

Shizuo’s eyebrow twitched and he glared over at him. “Yeah, but plenty of things did change. For example you became even more of a snobbish rude asshole who just says whatever he likes.”

Shinra smiled agreeably. “How does that make me any different to Izaya again?”

Suddenly, Celty held her PDA up to the table so that everyone could see her all caps message.

[Everyone enough. Please. I’d like to enjoy our double date without any conflicts, please.] 

“Ah. Sorry Celty! I guess I got too carried away there.” Shinra said calmly. “Let’s eat!”

Shizuo wanted to comment and say that Shinra had been the one to start the fight in the first place, but he decided that for Celty’s sake, he would let it go. Although, Izaya was probably pretty much finished for the night. He’d barely eaten any of his food and he only spoke when spoken to. When they finally moved to sit around the coffee table and play Shinra’s board game, he seemed to perk up a bit.

“See now, isn’t this nice!” Shinra gushed. “The four of us having a date night together, acting close to one another as I’ve always wanted.”

“You have always found a way to get your way.” Izaya said nonchalantly with a knowing smile. Shizuo glanced at him warily, and Izaya ignored him. While he wasn’t drunk, Shizuo had seen him with alcohol in his system and he was cautious to say the least.

“Ah! Well I’ve always had an eye for things that would simply be perfect!” Shinra said, “Me, my dearly beloved, and our two friends!”

[Izaya is not my friend.] Celty typed out flatly. 

“Ah. Well, at least Shizuo is both of our friend.”

“I prefer Celty to you any day.” Shizuo told him.

Shinra sighed. “You guys are just so hell bent on being contrarians tonight.” he then turned to Izaya, eyes mischievous. “Look at you, Izaya. Causing chaos without having to so much as lift a finger, as usual.”

The way Izaya regarded him in that instance was a way Shizuo had seen before. As though he’d rather spit on Shinra than have to look at him. He looked him up and down before smiling coolly. 

“You know, sometimes I feel that the only reason we’re even still friends is because you need someone to keep around so that you don’t feel like the worst person in the room.” He said, placing his beaming face into his relaxed hand. “It’s almost like I’m less like a person and more like… the butt of an old joke that you just can’t seem to let go.”

He said this with such an amused tone of voice and utmost calm on his face that Shizuo didn’t realize how serious he was being at first. It was like a wasp sting that sort of lingered. Shinra on the other hand, just kept smiling.

“Oh, I don’t know why you have to make it sound like I’m bullying you! Haven’t I always just let you be who you are? I’ve been the most supportive friend you’ve ever had.”

“Being the only friend makes you the most supportive by default, you know.” Izaya said, throwing his card on the table for his turn. 

“So then are you complaining about the fact that you have no other friends?” Shinra asked, placing down a card of his own. “Or could it be that you’re just wallowing in self-pity that nobody likes you?”

“I’m not complaining about anything,” Izaya said, that eerie sense of serenity looming on his features, “I’m just saying you’re an awfully nasty person yourself to go pointing fingers at me all the time. I mean you act as though the foundation of yours and Celty’s relationship wasn’t built on a lie. I mean, you’ve lied to Celty time and time again to keep her from leaving you. Discouraged her against her goal, defaced another person to maintain your deception, and you want to talk about manipulation and secrets? At least Shizuo knows who I am.”

Celty seemed unable to handle anything else at this point. She had been diplomatic through most of the evening, but Shizuo put out an arm protectively in front of Izaya when she made a sudden movement. When she held out her hand now though, it was just a PDA message that said: [That’s enough. This topic is mine and Shinra’s business.]

“Just like Shizu-chan and I’s relationship is our business!” said Izaya cheerfully. “Isn’t that something? It’s almost like… people shouldn’t act like they’re better than others all the time. They might just end up six feet under that pedestal they set themselves on.”

Izaya’s voice was laced with less pleasantness now. Shizuo felt like it was likely time to go.

“It’s getting late.” he said, a little lamely. Izaya finally set his eyes on him as Shizuo stood up from the couch, offering Izaya his hand. “Why don’t we go home before we get too tired?”

“You guys don’t have to leave, you know!” Shinra said. “You could both stay over and we could grow even closer like I wanted us to be in high school!”

Even after all that fake happiness, Shinra was being upbeat. Shizuo couldn’t help but think Izaya had a point. 

“Thanks for dinner,” Shizuo said instead of responding to Shinra’s offer. He turned to Celty. “And sorry about this.”

Celty’s body language was stiff but she seemed somewhat resigned as well. She shook her head in a polite gesture. She and Shinra walked them to the door. 

[Thank you both for coming. It went about as well as could be expected.] she admitted, [But even so, I’m glad I got to see a different side to you tonight Izaya.]

Izaya smiled at her but he didn’t respond, turning to get on the elevator. Shizuo lingered just a moment longer as Celty typed another message.

[Sorry about Shinra. I’d like to blame the alcohol for some of the things he said tonight, but I think we can both see that it wasn’t.]

Shizuo cast a look at Shinra, who was watching Izaya go with a strange smile on his face. He and Izaya had similar angry smiles. Smiles that hid what they were really thinking. Had what Izaya said cut him deeply? Did that mean that Shinra had cut Izaya deeply at some point in the night? Izaya had a very high tolerance for things, so it was possible that even before then Shinra cut him deeply. 

He hated that he felt envious of the connection that they had. That Shinra understood that petty part of Izaya that Shizuo had never been able to decipher.

“Izaya was out of line too, so I want to apologize for him.”

“Apologize?” Shinra grinned. “There’s nothing to apologize over. Izaya’s just being Izaya.”

And at that, Shizuo took a deep breath. “No. He’s being who you think Izaya is.”

Shinra looked amusedly defeated at that and shrugged his shoulders as Shizuo joined Izaya on the elevator. He was scrolling on his phone as the elevator door closed. Once it did though, he dropped his hand and looked straight ahead, while Shizuo continuously stared at him. 

“Why did you never mention Shinra made you feel that way?” he asked quietly.

Izaya was quiet for a long moment. Long enough that the elevator doors open and they just stood there. The expression on his face was indescribable, like someone trying to decide whether or not to burn their house down. 

“Because I thought that you would think he was in the right,” he said quietly, no longer conditioning his tone, “Since you’ve never seen the similarities between us before.”

Shizuo let this seep in like he was a big sponge. He inhaled deeply and felt strangely calm. Even with Izaya admitting something like this, to hear the truth coming out of the other so quickly and easily was refreshing. 

“I get that.” he said simply and Izaya scoffed.

“If that’s how you respond, then you clearly don’t get anything.”

“No I do,” Shizuo said, stepping closer so that they were shoulder to shoulder. “And maybe if I didn’t know you I would have agreed with him, or maybe even enjoyed hearing him shit on you all night. But I do, and it annoyed me to think that you might actually feel like Shinra knew you better than me.”

“Ah?” Izaya said, turning to him with an amused grin. “Are you admitting to being jealous, Shizu-chan? Why, you didn’t even drink anything to be admitting that to me.”

“I didn’t have a drop of anything.” Shizuo said. “Now be serious.”

“I am being serious.” Izaya said, beaming wickedly. “If you really are jealous then that means suffering through Shinra’s chatter was worth it.”

He wrapped Shizuo’s arm around his shoulder as they walked off the elevator. Shizuo glared. 

“You weren’t all that amused by it earlier I thought.”

“No, I was very annoyed with you. Don’t act like that again, you were making him worse.”

“Was not.”

“You were so.”

“Yeah well… don’t let him shit talk you like that and maybe I won’t get so mad.”

“Again, you didn’t seem to be disagreeing with him.”

“So that just means I was agreeing?” Shizuo asked incredulously. “He was just trying to get a rise out of me! I don’t have to justify everything you do. You’re a jackass. Does that mean every aspect of our relationship is part of some calculated scheme to get me under your thumb?”

“Do you have any proof that it’s not?”

“There’s that time you threw up on my shoes,” Shizuo said, “Or how about that one time you ran away cause you were afraid of your feelings? Or…”