#s206

You touch base with your administration's top powdermonkey, none other than Dersite bumbler extraordinaire, the Courtyard Droll. [...] He asks, isn't this cheating? Assassinating the heroes like this before the war's even really begun. […] You say it's all fair game now that the kingdom's under new management. The new boss ain't opposed to taking some shrewd tactical shortcuts. You like the cut of her jib.

Oh, that makes sense. The Empress has already invaded the session, and she's unfettered by the Sburbian rules of engagement. Unlike the Black Queen, the Condesce will cheerfully hamstring the Players in any way she can imagine, as long as it doesn't actually prevent them from playing.

No extra lives for you, kids! No god tiers, either - and by the way, we've got a couple of pebbles ready to toss into your Kernelsprites as soon as you've released them. Did we mention we're covering your Gates, Quest Beds and Denizen Lairs in fifty feet of concrete?

Enjoy your session, you horrible little monkeys.

You say now quit all the yapping and following your damn orders. He says ok, but it still just feels wrong. You say what does. He says he doesn't know, just something about feeding that poor sleeping boy all those deadly peanuts just felt wrong.

You killed him with anaphylactic shock?

Damn, dude - you've really got a talent for cruel and unusual murder. It's always the silly ones.

Your first mistake, Mr Noir, was turning your back on the body. The body of a Life Player, no less.

He asks, what about the other two? The ones on our moon? And most importantly, is there any particular snack that is poisonous to them? You say forget about those two. They're much trickier to deal with. You've got the Dignitary working on it now.

I can totally understand why Dirk would be tricky to deal with - but I wonder what makes Roxy so difficult to kill? Is it, perhaps, something to do with the Blackout effect she seems to wield?

Another coffin clogger bites the dust.

This is just unfair. Jane hadn't even entered the game yet, and it sounds like Jake was murdered before his Dream Self had even woken up.

This is absolutely cheating - which is weird, because Jack should have no reason to go off-script yet. His original rebellion was made possible by the actions of the Players, but this Jack should still be a 'default' version of the character, since no Players have entered the Medium yet.

Can the default Jack Noir NPC really pull a dirty trick like this? Because if so, there are probably countless sessions that never even got off the ground, simply due to antsy Agents or bad RNG. Yeesh.

Two down. Two to go.

Jack's still in his default outfit, of course - which really highlights the wrongness of what's happening here. The guy was literally just born, and he's already tearing the session apart.

You can't wait to read it in their papers. "The Maid is dead. Our Life is pathetic, blah blah blah."

Jade's a Maid, then - a kindred spirit with Aradia.

I think I can already see a few parallels. Both Maids started their journey in an altered state of consciousness, brainwashed into a false state of compliance. Aradia's Voices sapped her will, convincing her she was 0k with the trolls' sorry state of affairs, and Jane's tiara is muddling her mind, preventing her from questioning the corporation that controls her entire life.

Maids aren't supposed to think for themselves, apparently. They're supposed to keep their heads down, grit their teeth, and do what they're fucking told.

When the clock strikes twelve, no one in this wretched kingdom will have any doubt who's calling the shots here.

Some sort of shock tactic, I guess?

You better hit the road and blow this joint, before the dead broad does some sorta… Lifey thing.

What, you're not even going to try and finish the job? I mean, plenty of healing factors can't compensate for decapitation, so you should at least-

Wait... Why am I giving you hints?

Hell of a lot of power for a neophyte Player to be throwing around. At this stage of the game, John could barely manifest a stiff breeze.

Is there any particular reason why a pre-entry Jane is so shockingly powerful? Maybe she's used her powers before, but the Tiaratop forced her to forget?

It's that time again!