#R
Hi baby! Yeah, I cannot call you "baby" anymore. You were once my baby and I was once yours. I haven't written anything about you or for you in a really long time. Still, despite everything, you were the best, baby. People would ask me "why can't we just go back to being together?" I would answer with "We can't. Because even if we did love each other back then, it is not enough to keep us together." I loved you so much that I chose to let go of you. Letting you go was the best thing I ever did for you. I regret it at first but after seeing how happy you are with her made me realize that I made the right choice in setting you free. She can give you the love you deserve; the kind of love I can never give you. Baby, you were my favorite confidante. I always confide in you. You are like my diary. You're the one I turn to when I couldn't talk to anyone m; including my friends and family. You listen to me whine and ramble on and on, still you don't judge. You just listen and then say the right words in the perfect time. You always know what to say. I don't know what got me to talk to you after years have passed. We didn't talk to each other for a very long time so I don't know what got in me to message you. I felt relieved when you replied. I really missed you Rum Cola. That night we exchanged messages like the old times. But it was different. It felt different. Familiar but different. You forgave me without me even apologizing to you personally. You reassured me and affirmed me that I am not the trash of a person I think I am. That night, my feelings for you crawled back in. It's wrong I know. And it confused me. I regret deleting those messages tho. 7 hours and 23 minutes before my birthday, you surprised me with a message. Some things don't change. You always want to be the first one to greet. You pulled my heart strings when you told me that even though things didn't work out between us, I will always have a special place in your heart. Thank you for saying those words. It woke me up. Yes we are never getting back together but I am happy we met. And you will always have a special place in my heart too. I changed. I changed so much. I changed drastically to the point that I don't even know who I am anymore. You noticed. I don't know what hurts more, me changing or you noticing. But you told me that regardless, there is still that good soul in me. The good soul that you fell in love with. You still know the right words to say; the right words to cheer me up. You are still that same person. You are still the same guy I fell in love with. I wish I could say the same for myself. Baby, you are not the one that got away. Why? Because you never left. You never stopped caring even if we're no longer together. And baby, I wouldn't wish for us to get back together. I don't deserve you. I know you said that I'll find someone better than you but I don't think I can. Even if I do, they're not you. So baby, thank you. Baby, I love you but I am not in love with you anymore. I am in love with him but your place in my heart can still fit you. Baby, I love you in case I die.
