#rubbernecker

Patrick, the anatomy student, absolutely makes this book though. He’s got an interesting way at looking at the world, which yes, is partly his neurodiversity, but also just him. He’s optimistic, dedicated to his chosen people, very literal, perceptive, and just finding out who he as an adult. When I say this book is funnier than I thought, it’s largely because of him, his humour, and the way he sees the world. Bauer does a good job getting us to laugh at the chaos of life and the weirdness of neurotypicals instead of making Patrick the butt of jokes.

He also doesn’t feel Autistic™ the way some autistic characters I’ve read have done. Bauer’s not just checking off symptoms and she’s taken the time to ground things like stims and special interests in Patrick’s experiences. Plus it was just really cool to see a mystery be solved with an autistic mind. The things Patrick notices (or doesn’t), and the way he draws connections, made this much more compelling than it otherwise would have been.

The other threads, while they absolutely do connect with Patrick’s POV and the thriller plot—and this is a thriller, it’s got that sort of tense, impending doom vibe to it, even if it’s leisurely about building and relaying its tension—the other threads play more into the themes of the novel: grief, memory, perception, and communication. Everyone’s lost something or someone, everyone sees the world differently, no one remembers things exactly as they are, people have trouble talking to each other, and as much of the mystery and tension comes from trying to piece together what’s truly going on, or what went on in the past, as following Patrick’s instincts as he tries to identify cause of death in his assigned cadaver. It’s a beautiful web of connections too, much more literary than I’d expected from something billed as a thriller, and it balances out the humour nicely as well.

That’s about all I can say about this without giving things away. Apart from one or two scenes or plot points that either weren’t as resolved as I’d liked or didn’t quite gel with the vibe of the rest of the book, I enjoyed every minute of reading. It’s not the thriller I was expecting, but it turned out to be both delightful and the one I needed.

To bear in mind: It goes without saying, but this book contains depictions of coma wards, coma recovery, and unkind nurses. Also, the MC experiences ill treatment throughout due to his autism, and there are depictions of car accidents, alcoholism, depression, attempted suicide, and violence against women.