#rr031617

Just a reminder for people who don't remember how everything went down or for newbies who weren't in the fandom back then and also really because I feel like none of this gets talked about enough:

Rob was born and raised in Emmerdale and then left for a while when he was younger (look up Max King's death if you haven't seen those eps). He came back (in 2014) with his fiancé (Chrissie) and her father Lawrence to live at Home Farm. Chrissie had a sister named Rebecca who Rob cheated with before coming back to Emmerdale. Rebecca didn't show up in Emmerdale until 2016 though. By that time Chrissie and Robert were no longer together and Rob was with Aaron.

From from the moment Rebecca stepped foot in the village she kept trying to drive a wedge in between Robert and Aaron and kept trying to get Rob (back) in her bed. Except he kept turning her down because he loved Aaron and wanted to be with only Aaron. The only way she was able to get Rob to sleep with her was after Aaron had gone to jail (in 2017) and started using drugs and him and Rob had a big fight about it. Robert was distraught and thought their marriage was over. He went back to the mill and drank a whole bottle of whiskey and was basically fall down drunk. He didn't even remember contacting Rebecca by the time she showed up at the mill. He didn't tell her to come over either she chose to on her own after she heard Adam talking about how upset Rob was (in the pub). She knew he was drunk and upset and that him and Aaron had fought and she still chose to sleep with him. Worst of all she didn't even make sure that protection was used, which I think was on purpose.

When Rob talked about that night the next day and then again later when he told Aaron multiple things he said proved he wasn't sober enough to consent. He tells Rebecca maybe he thought it was what he wanted at the time but it wasn't. He tells Aaron that he must have passed out and his retelling of the events are spotty.

It just makes me angry anytime I think about all of that because I'm positive if the roles had been reversed and Rob had done to Rebecca what she did to him people would still be calling him an abuser (and rightfully so). All of this was just handled so badly by the show. I mean they even had Aaron (who is a survivor of abuse himself) say to Rob "don’t tell me you couldn’t have stopped it if you wanted" even though he knew Rob was drunk. And I don't bring that up as some way to hate on Aaron because that line always felt out of character for him. I mean look at how he was during the reunion episode (in 2018). He immediately asked Rob if something bad had happened (with Mike the chef) when he found him in the garage. So I feel like even as angry and upset as Aaron was when he found out about the Rebecca stuff he still wouldn't have said something like that.

That line they had Aaron say was just down right offensive to both of them. To have a survivor of child r*pe say something like you could have stopped it if you wanted to someone who was factually too drunk to consent is just all kinds of fcked up.

On top of everything Rebecca got treated like she was Rob's victim and had people both canonically on the show and in the fandom defending her. Even some Robron fans were defending her. Then she got to ride off into the sunset with Ross and Seb and got her happily ever after (even if they did eventually kill her off). Meanwhile Robron ended up split apart with Rob in prison for years. And I know that wasn't connected to her but it still pisses me off that she got to be happy when Robert and Aaron had so little time together.

It drives me crazy to hear how people talk about that storyline to this day. I hate seeing people talk about how Rob cheated on Aaron. Yes Rob has a history of cheating (it's how him and Aaron even started together). And maybe there was a part of him that was so hurt and angry that he did want to hurt Aaron that night by sleeping with Rebecca (he said as much to Aaron when he told him about what happened). But he also may not have gone through with it if he had a clear head. Rebecca knowing how drunk he was and still choosing to sleep with him anyway robbed him of his ability to say no.

I also can't see Rob consciously choosing to cheat on Aaron especially not with Rebecca of all people. He could have had Rebecca any time he wanted her but he didn't want her he wanted Aaron. When Aaron went to prison Rob fell apart to the point he couldn't even sleep in their bed without him. Rob has only ever loved one person as wholly and intensely as he loves Aaron. Rob is the king of self sabotage but I still don't think if he'd been sober he would have cheated.

I know some people probably don't want to think about Rebecca or that storyline and want it to just be dead and buried with her but I also feel like what happened to Rob wasn't given the attention it deserved by the show or the fandom at the time. I think a big part of that is because he's a guy and male SA victims aren't taken nearly as seriously as women are. I also think most people are under the impression that a women could never SA a man and that's just not true. It also has always bothered me that for a fandom that has always been so supportive of what Aaron went through and for a fandom that has a lot of people who relate to what Aaron went through that our same fandom wasn't as supportive of Rob nor as vocal about speaking up for him. I literally got sent hate back in the day for calling what happened between Rebecca and Rob assault.

Part of the reason I started thinking about all of this again is because of all the stuff coming up for Rob. Him getting drugged by a guy he goes out with. Trauma in prison that we don't know the full details of yet. I really hope that the show does right by him this time in how they handle all of this.

I'm also nervous for what's going to come out about what Rob endured in prison. I hope that it was just getting beat up (which is bad enough) I'm worried though that with how he reacted to being touched in his sleep that it could be something worse. Whatever happened in there I hope that Rob gets the support he deserves. He's gone through so much on his own and for all of the mistakes he's made he's been there so many times when his family and most of all Aaron have needed him. They better as hell be there for him now that he's the one going through stuff this time.

I'm mostly referring here to how even before what happened with Rob and Rebecca that night in the Mill Rebecca was painted as this woman who repeatedly pursued an engaged/married man and when turned down didn't like to take no for an answer.

Then she went to the Mill that night in March 2017 knowing (from Adam) that Rob was drunk and upset. And even when seeing the state of him. Even hearing him say he didn't remember texting her (because he was so drunk). Even hearing him talk about how upset he was about Aaron. Even seeing how he could barely stand up. She still stayed and decided to sleep with him.

I still don't get how there are people who see Rebecca's behavior from the time she arrived (which was homophobic and disparaging towards Aaron right from the jump btw) and especially in the "ONS" episode yet still defend her. If the reverse had happened and Rebecca had been drunk and crying and upset over someone she was married to. If she had previously repeatedly refused Rob then decided to try it on with him when she drunk and vulnerable and he used that to his advantage to get her in bed people would have rioted.

I also don't get how it was the show runners/writer's intentions to seemingly paint Rob as the villain in all of this who took advantage of poor Rebecca when that was never how things were portrayed with them before the "ONS" and it certainly was not how the episode itself was made out to look.

It just feels like people too often don't seem to care when it comes to the sexual assault of men especially when it's men who have been hurt by women. I know statistically it's men who assault and rape women but the reverse does happen. And I know it's been years since this episode aired but it's something I still think about especially since I'm a survivor sexual abuse myself.

No matter what Rob's intentions were the night he slept with Rebecca he wasn't coherent enough to give a conscious yes. Not to mention he was in an emotionally vulnerable state which would have affected his ability to make clear decisions even more.

All of this was made all the worse by the fact that the show chose to pretend none of the consent issues even existed. They went on to make Rob the bad guy in most of his interactions with Rebecca afterwards. They also never even let Aaron get angry with her for pretending to be their friend and then taking advantage of his husband as soon as he was in jail.

And like the show knew a lot of people had issues with that episode and with Rebecca and still chose to keep her around for a long long time afterward. Not just in the village but like forever an interloper in Robron's lives until the day she left. It honestly put a damper on the show for me from the "ONS" ep onward. I can't ever see her and Robron and not think of what she did. It wasn't about the baby or her getting in the way of Robert and Aaron it was because what she did to Rob was wrong and she never had to answer for it in any way. She wasn't the victim Rob was and in some ways Aaron was to. I just wish the show would have dealt with it or at least gotten rid of her soon after once they knew how royally they had messed up that storyline.