... okay so i ended up leaning into the otome manhwa cover influence yes but it's not my fault they literally fit the love triangle clichés-
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... okay so i ended up leaning into the otome manhwa cover influence yes but it's not my fault they literally fit the love triangle clichés-

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feeling unwell about these two today :)
i have a migraine so i'm once again thinking about post migraine javilon who is so sleepy after the pain stops he drags rakiel into bed so he can cling to him like an octopus while he has the comfiest five hour nap of his life. he wakes up with the the blanket folds stamped on his entire face and there's a little drool on the pillow and rakiel's hair. he cannot remember his own name for like a solid thirty seconds after he opens his eyes. it's the best sleep he's had in thirty years. this wouldn't have fixed him but he would've killed like 30% less people about it at least.
“…And can you specify what exactly this ‘glory and joy’ of yours is?” ‘Of course. Rakiel.’ “…” ‘You called him military medical officer Rihan, didn’t you?’ “…Yes.” ‘I will keep him by my side. I will live eternity together with him. You can partake in that joy. How does that sound?’ “…” ‘Will you rot away and disappear in this cold prison, stripped of all future and hope? Or will you, even with only a faint self and a clear body, keep him by your side forever?’ “…” ‘Easy choice, isn’t it?’ "... Keep your word."
my toxic trait is that i do find javilon being willing to become a faint shadow of himself just to be with rakiel forever extremely hot of him. like. i do think it's very romantic that when the choice is to give up everything that made him himself except his desire for rakiel or never seeing him again it's not even really a choice. sorry.
on the same note as me thinking rakiel should've just seduced javilon into being his attack dog i think javilon should've tried to baby trap rakiel into staying with him. would it have worked? probably not. but i would like to see it.

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i still think it's insane this is just. canon. like. it's one thing for javilon to be obsessed with rakiel's healing abilities that's perfectly understandable it's still firmly in the plausible deniability zone. but javilon realizing "lee han" no longer has his healing abilities and still refusing to abandon him even when he finds a replacemente because lee han is "his"??? insane i cannot believe we just have to let bk moon get away with it
also also also i don't think the webcomic did a good job conveying how important rakiel became to javilon in such a little amount of time. which i honestly get because the way it happens in the novel is a little insane.
even before rakiel became his personal stash of walking ibuprofen, javilon was already lowkey obsessed with him. it'd been days, maybe a week since they met and javilon already wanted to keep rakiel with him for no other reason than because he enjoyed being with him. he felt safe with him. this is a man who doesn't really trust anyone around him, not even the people he chooses to surround himself with, but with rakiel he actually feels comfortable letting his guard down, to the point he finds it easier to sleep with him in the same room.
like. it's kinda sad actually. also a little funny because this is the guy he used as an excuse to start a civil war but mostly sad. because rakiel could not care less for him if he tried lmao </3
i also do find it very funny that rakiel was deliberately trying to nuke javilon's mental health. i am not even saying it for the bit this is a literal quote lmao
Rakiel shrugged his shoulders. He wanted to run away from here immediately. He wanted to return to the villa with Damian and Sir Gardin. So, in order to create a loophole, he deliberately tried to destroy Javilon’s mentality. He said the answer he had been searching for his whole life as if he were dropping a nuclear bomb. -Ch 125
and then he's surprised when javilon latches onto him afterwards. like. my guy. you were the one that broke his anchor to reality what did you expect would happen when you engaged in psychological terrorism with a man known for his tendency for obsession and homicide.