#roxy's diary

Dear Diary,

So, it's been almost six months since I was.. saved by? Or, joined The Compact… and things have been... interesting. I'm... still not used to the whole, I can make anything I could ever want from the comfort of my own home.. hab. Ugh, weird lingo aside, it's.. nice, not to have to fight for my right to survive anymore, let alone live.

I had a few.. what do they call them.. wellness checks? Yeah, those, recently. I think I passed? They came around twice, the first time because I hadn't seen anyone (I'll get into that later), and then noticed I was struggling to take my meds on time, and eat, so tasked my with fixing that and came around a week or so later to check. Since then, they haven't come back, sooooo... I think I'm good? This was a month now.

Speaking of not seeing anyone... another of my old friends for.. taken? 'Floret' they are called now. Apparently less of a person? In don't know, it seems... sketchy to me. Like, he was such a strong pilot and now he's... I don't know. I haven't seen him actually. Since he got, domesticated, (that still feels weird, even to write down) the few times he's messaged me he seems... off. Different?

But... I guess he does seem happy.

Maybe it isn't so bad?

So I'm writing this from some affini's hab after the found me wandering due to the fucked up evening I've had. Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it. So, for starters, the day itself was generally fine and normal. Regular day, had plans to meet with Emma (you remember Emma right diary? My best friend since joining the compact, came in as indies together, she volunteered a few months ago? Yeah, her) at my favorite cafe for a nice late afternoon catchup, so I have most of the day free to do whatever I wanted! Which is great! So I spent a majority of the day catching up on some well earned reading of some delicious smut!! Since being in the compact, porn in general has become a lot more common and so much more diverse, which is fantastic really. Though I have found a new category, Florn, which is... interesting. It's exactly what you think it is Diary. And what do you know it, there's plenty of florn smutty books written now! Don't mind if I do... What? It's hot! Back off.

Ok, onto the main part of why today actually sucked ass.

So, the first half of my catch up with Emma went fine! Amazing really! It was super good to see her again, and she looks really really happy now as a floret, which i am so happy to see. She's absolutely glowing! So, we sit and order our little treats, I get a nice milkshake, vanilla because I’m simple and the TCN was never able to make a good vanilla milkshake. Before they could even arrive, some dickwads saw Emma and decided to make a whole scene towards her, yelling and throwing slurs at her.

Let me tell you. I. Saw. RED.

Before is known it I had throw myself up and out of the chair, started yelling back at them and threatening all sorts of acts of violence. Stars only knows how I didn’t get Z’d and dragged away. No clue what happened to them. I saw Emma ‘ffini walking back over finally, which they must have seen too, cause suddenly they bolted faster than I could catch one of them. Bastards.

I quickly apologised to Emma and made sure she was ok, poor thing was crying. I… panicked, and I ran too… must have looked like a feralist.

Anyway, ended up walking, ran into some redish Affini and ended up staying at hers tonight.

Guess I better get some sleep.

Gotta go home tomorrow and..

Ahhhhh I forgot my inhibitor… that’s not good

Oh my fucking stars, that dickhead is the worst!

Sorry, Dear Diary,

Oh my fucking stars, that dickhead is the worst! First he tries to tell me I don't know what I'm doing, like I don't have thousands more hours of flight time recorded, but then he purposefully misgenders me and deadnames me. I swear to the fucking stars I'm going to punch him next chance I get.

Ok, I'll calm down now. Maybe writing it out will help anyway.

Ok, so, for starters, the day started like any other in the glorious Cosmic Navy as we fight against the weeds, or the Rinnans, or whatever the fuck I'm told to shoot at. Today was a scout job, it's been that way since a few months after the start, when it came to light that our ships couldn't do much of fuck all to the weed's ships. Plus, have you seen the size of them!? There's no fucking way out little pissant ships like mine and my squads are doing anything against those. I heard through the grapevine that they can even disable our missiles when they get close, so you know, that's just brilliant. Not at all what I signed up for.

I digress, the fuckwad that calls himself the Captain of our little fleet decided that he's going to send half of us to one side of our area, and half to the other. Like a fucking genius. Of course, I obviously tell him that's a terrible plan, why split up a scout team of already dwindling people, when you could send another independent scout squad, that way everyone stays together, and orders or instructions, or even more important emergency warnings, aren't delayed once I get them! But no, of course he doesn't listen to me, calls me a damn- (Roxy won't be repeating what she wrote here, it isn't very nice :3) and called me by my old name. I went through so much hassle of getting that changed, and he just, ugh. STARS I wanted to punch him. But no, that would get me spaced, cause he'd just use it as 'proof I was a traitor' or something. Honestly at this point maybe I should be, anythings better than this.

Anyway, we go out on our mission for the day, one half of us, 7, going one way the rest, including me, going the other. And guess what happened? The other half got spotted by a weed scout ship, of whatever they call it. We didn't even GET the transmission until AFTER some managed to escape. Lost 3. Fucking, 3. Who knows what happened to them. If I believe the propaganda the Accord LOVES to spew, dead. Or slaves. Honestly no clue.

But anyway, we get back to base, I go give my report, and get chewed out for 'giving the order to split up the squad'... One of these days I'm going to put a bullet into the back of that up his own asshole wanker.

Thanks for listening, I'm going to go call Roxy (stars I miss her) and try and destress a bit. Talking to her always helps.

Amelia, signing off.

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Well, that was not a very fun chapter for Roxy to read and write again... Roxy will be fine, she just needs a nice glass of orange juice and a good snuggle with her connivent, or Mistress. Make sure to get yourself a glass of water, a snack, and take a break when you need to.

Dear Diary,

Holy stars she's so nice! You know who, Emma, oh wait.. I've never told you about her, have I? Whoops…

So, when I came to the Compact, I didn’t really know anyone. Like, at all. I came entirely alone, this you know. Sorry again about the delay in writing to you…

But!

Not long after arriving, and getting wellness checked, one of the things I needed to work on was making friends, so, reluctantly I started going to this cafe near my hab. There, I met one of the baristas, an absolutely gorgeous brunette who.. just... stars...

I'm getting distracted again! Anyway, she ended up being super nice and we became very fast friends, to the point we hung out ALLL the time!

Not too long ago she got florted, apparently she chose it? I.. still don't understand why... but she looks so happy, you know? So, whatever, you do you. This was my first time seeing her since, and she looks different, but at the same time, just like Emma still. It's was... weird.

Anyway, we hugged, hang out at her owners hab for the day and just, chilled out, just like we did before. She kept looking at me, like.. I don't know. I was just so happy to have my friend back! And from how her eyes looked she felt the same!

I can't wait to see her again soon!