So after I tried the memory walk for Meenah, which was a bit of a struggle, I decided to try another walk, and, realized I should try for Roxy, since I'd been questioning her for a while. It actually worked and it helped me figure out some stuff!! (reference to drinking below, since I followed canon to an extent)
Strangely enough everything I recalled was specifically first person perspective which - happens for a lot of them but usually I have some conscious awareness of my own appearance as well. but this was extremely first person so I didn’t get a good sense of my own appearance.
-first thing I recalled is being in my room all alone, looking around at it. It was ... not exactly barren, since it had stuff in it, but it felt more like being in a big white box than an actual room. Super closed off yanno, aside from the door. It was also pretty pretty messy, w my clothes and stuff strewn all over. I took note of the weird wide window on the one side of the room (that one that’s powered -it was dark when I saw it in my dream so maybe it was turned off?) I remember standing and looking around, seeing my computer on the desk, and thinking about how something felt off, before remembering that I’d been drinking, so everything was a little skewed. I had another memory of laying on the floor n feeling that way, idk if I toppled or was just laying around drinking. Both of these memories I felt distinctly unhappy and depressed.
-Next mem was still in my room all alone, but I was messaging calliope? The thing is, though, is I called her callie so idk where that is on the tl - i got super confused too once I realized that. After rereading some of Roxy’s parts in canon though, that’s what happened when she met Calliope in the Dream bubbles, so maybe that’s what that memory was in relation to?
-I’m not sure if these 3 mems of being in my room are all from one point in time or several. I feel like the first two are from similar points in time but the one with Calliope wasn’t.
-Next memory I had was vastly different setting. I was visiting Jake on his planet (LOMAX). I distinctly remember I was godtier, and flying up one of the mounds to find him at the top? In fact, I’m pretty sure it was this memory fragment I dreamt about a while back (the one w flying to meet someone, not the one with possibly Roxy). It feels a lot more right to say that was a Roxy memory.
-When I got to the top of the mound I found Jake, he was curled up, hugging his knees and crying, I approached him from behind. We were both in godtier, so he had his yellow leotard thing and whatnot. I remember pretty distinctly he had darker, more tan-colored(?) skin, and dark brown, kinda curly hair. he had a lot of scars too, I noticed them on his arm while trying to talk to him (they were like battle scars, nothing bad I don’t think). He never turned to face me so I didn’t get a good look at his face, but I think I saw his eyes were green. I dunno his height either since he was curled up, but he had a sorta stocky build, a bit thicker and more solidly built.
-Jake was crying and upset thinking about all the shit that’d happened to us, especially for him what happened with Dirk and Jane (this is post godtier, so after things w Dirk got fucked up and after Janey blew up at him while prepping for her Bday, among other things). He was too busy staring ahead, while I tried to angle around to see his face. He was so hurt, and sad, and mad.... he was calling himself stupid and an idiot , and when I tried to tell him not to beat himself up over it he kinda got upset real suddenlike, he raised his voice and I wanna say he hit something with his fist? like his knee or something, I’m not sure. (he didn’t hit me at least, but I think it was like, a mix of frustration and wanting to hurt himself. I’m not sure what the gesture was, but it did have me worried about him. :( )
-I kinda backed off on telling him ‘no sweetie ur good ur not bad at all’ or w/e bc I realized he was really upset about everything, not just himself, and I had to admit our gang had been through some....... really bad times. I think I was thinking about the Trickster stuff when I admitted to this, bc my memory switched a bit to looking up and seeing Jane in Trickster mode? I still felt like I was sitting with Jake when I saw this, hence I think I was recalling it.
- I have to admit that Janey was really terrifying to see like that irl, her grin was unnatural and she almost seemed glitchy? Or like shifting in and out of focus or smth, and there was a bit of blue energy crackling around her here and there. She looked kinda insane tbh, and I was so scared when she found me. I dunno about her hair or skin tone bc the trickster mode probably fucked with that (her skin was white, her clothes predominantly yellow, her hair was blue though instead of pink? At least I think it was), but she was chubby, maybe a pear shape body type? She was chubbier than Jake’s build at least.
-I tried to recall other things but didn't get much - I was briefly on the lily pad when everyone was meeting up, I tried to see if I could see any of the other Alpha kids nearby, but Rose was sitting in front of me, so I couldn't see past her. I was super excited though since I was talking to my mom (I called her that in convo though I can’t recall what we were talking about) I didn't get a solid visual for Rose but i feel like she was kinda like a siamese cat in terms of impressions - elegant and sleek and almost otherworldly tbh? I kept getting the impression she had like, a long face, high cheekbones, and silky hair, and was tall and slender, but with broad shoulders. I tried to imagine her as other bodytypes in case I was affected by canon portrayals, but that’s the image that stuck with me.
-I briefly looked over at Dave, who was sitting next to me - I didn’t get a good visual of him at all, but I do know it wasn’t my own Dave tl (I tried picturing it and that felt all wrong.)
That’s where I had to stop, since my memories were becoming less clear plus I had to go do other stuff but? Yeah, some pretty solid stuff. I’m hoping I can find my Jake, since I’m kinda worried about him. Plus I felt really close with him, I think I considered him one of my closest buds after all was said and done. :]
