Nathaniel tried to remind himself of this as he scooped piles of ash that were formerly the living room lounge suite into a dustpan. Disaster had struck when one of the romantically lit candles tipped over and caught the polyester foot of the bunny costume; the poor sod inside had run outside to stamp it out on the wet grass, screeching all the way, while Tina scrambled for the phone and Nathaniel threw a quilted blanket over the mess of wax that was unceremoniously drowning the pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs.

It all started when Olive, Hermia's cat, was found curled up peacefully under the willow tree, making her way to see her human again over the rainbow bridge. The image served as a reminder to Nathaniel of the sister he'd had all along but only ever grew up knowing as his cousin because of the generation above wanting to avoid a scandal. He was only just starting to get to know Hermia better before she died. Now a link to her was gone, and he was spending most days gazing out at the fields, looking for a glimpse of her inexplicably purple hair bobbing between the cows. She used to go out and sing pop-punk songs to them. I could've known all those words, too.

Tina was won over by the Social Bunny's brief bio: Erotic entertainment to put spring back in your step. Hop right in! She called the number for an appointment, was pleasantly surprised by the chirpy voice on the other end, and invited Nathaniel to stay up late with her. Sunny was out overnight so the farmhouse was all theirs for some fun!

Then the guest of honour arrived. Profuse apologies were delivered from a muffled giant plush pink bunny head: the newspaper had mixed up the phone numbers of two different bunny-based services in print. That explained why this bunny showed up at a respectable hour during dinner. Tina could only imagine furious parents somewhere out there at their little one's birthday party, but needs must: she offered the bunny a generous sum to remain and entertain, and their shrug of sure, why not was visible under the faux overall straps of the costume. A smile was playing on Nathaniel's lips as he looked down at his roast dinner and Tina was relieved.