May 31
ronicas som povs were some of my favourites oh my god.
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ronicas som povs were some of my favourites oh my god.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Nagging
Ronica
Ronica loves jewels, she adores trying the latest in jewelry and working with her adopted family.
Likes: her opal trait, shiny things, Osley
Dislikes: mud, darkness, fighting
Occupation: seamstress
Partner: Osley
A love letter to one of my favorite rarepairs <3
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Going through old phones and reading old texts between Shawn and I and I came across this one:
You're a self absorbed selfish bitch. You used me and I knew it. I let you do it anyway. Good luck with your life and your lottery tickets. Bye
I'm not sure why he thinks I was using him or what I was using him for. I never used him. I don’t know why I didn't ask him at the time what he meant by this. I HATE where we are now. I HATE that he has moved on and I HATE that I blew things between us. I would do anything for another chance. He would never wonder how I felt about him because I would do everything I could to show him how much he means to me and how much I love him.
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I can't even tell you how much it breaks my heart that Shawn didn't even text to see how I made out after hurricane Ida hit my area. I know he moved on but darn, we were "together" for over 3 years. He was my best friend. No matter what it was, he was the first person I wanted to tell about it. He told me so many times how I was his his best friend and how much our friendship meant to him. When we had arguments, he was the one trying desperately to fix things and make it work. I read old messages and texts of him telling me how much I mean to him.....or cards that he sent me saying how happy he is that he met me.
I know we had our bad times but even after we "split" we still kept on touch......until he met his girlfriend. Even though he has a girlfriend, how do you not even check on someone who not that long ago meant such to you? How do you completely not give a shit about what happened to them after a category 4 hurricane? It breaks my heart that he really doesn't give a shit.....didn't even think to see how I made out. My ex-husband even called me. We've been divorced for 15 years. A friend I haven't seen in 25 years emailed me. Yet, the one person who I made me feel so special and loved not that long ago doesn't care what happens to me. I guess I can finally move on and forget about him. I had hoped that if him and his girlfriend split up that him and I could at least be friends again but that obviously will never happen. He is so over me that he doesn't even care how I made out in hurricane Ida
One thing that annoys me is when people try to tell to move on, meet someone new or that I should start dating again. I feel like a broken record in my response. I go years without dating by choice. I am not someone who NEEDS to have someone. I am perfectly content being single. I want one particular guy. It's not like I can just stop loving him even if he no longer wants to be with me. We may never be together again but that does not change the way I feel about him. Meeting someone new and dating again will not "help me get over him". I will eventually get over him in my own time and even then, I may not be ready to date. I am not a serial dater. I am okay being single. Sure, I want him back but that's it. I don't NEED or WANT just anybody. I will not date just to date. I will date when I get over him in my own time....and even then I may not date.
I really wish people would quit telling me what I need to so. Telling me to get over him and move on does not make it any easier. This is my heart. I can't just decide that I no longer love him and I no longer want him. I will get over it and move on when I'm ready. People really need to stop telling me that I should date again. That would not be fair to any guy I date. Only I can decide when I am ready to date.
Ten years ago, maybe more, a friend of mine gave this book to me. I literally cried as I read it. I bought copies for a few friends and they also cried as they read it. Not that it is a sad book, it's very moving and a real eye opener.
I recently downloaded Audible and I started listening to this as I do my cardio or while I drive back and forth to work. I can't believe it took me this long to "read" it again. Audible is nice and makes "reading" a book very convenient but I think I will actually sit down and read it again once I'm finished listening to it.
I wish I would have sought God more when I was going through the difficult time that ended up destroying me relationship. Had I gone to therapy and drew closer to God, things would have turned out a lot different. Maybe not....but I feel like it would have made a big difference. I definitely wouldn't have been as ugly to him as I was.