Love at its best (and worst)
(The Crazy Beautiful You: Insights on a teen royaltyâs movie)
It was only a week ago when I watched Crazy Beautiful You on big screen. The particular thing that I have seen in the movie is that Teen Queen and Teen King are not only plain titles, for both Kathryn Bernardo (Jackie) and Daniel Padilla (Kiko) played their role well, and haveconvinced the audience to feel the emotions and see the theme this movie want its movie-goers to realize at the end.
The theme is about life, love and growing up. It features two teenagers living lives similar to what depicted in the modern society nowadays. They both grow up from broken families but on different socio-economic backgrounds. Jackie is rich girl from Manila and a product of broken marriage. She tend to live independently after having grown up sans her mother (Lorna Tolentino) who left for the United States when the latterâs marriage fell apart, reason of her being rebellious and trouble-maker. Kiko, on the other hand, is a result of type of infidelity that is tolerated simply because of his powerful family name. Kiko is Tarlac resident and a son of a Mayor yet worked as local tour guide and driver for his own dad to earn a living. He is the breadwinner to three younger siblings and an irresponsible mother (Assunta de Rossi).
The two worlds collide when Jackie's mom decided to bring her along for a medical mission in an Aeta village in Tarlac. Kiko is tasked to help her become more compassionate. But way far to what he expected, Jackie has a stone-heart.
At the midst of the movie, however, love bloomed and kept pains have been brushed out resulting to some twist, turns and solutions to the conflict that was once a common part of the scene.
The movie is more than a romantic-comedy movie and even proved different from the rom-com movies in the past decade and might also to decades to come. The film has truly satisfied my heartâs desire to take time off from the worldâs excessity, for over an hour.
The lessons that I learned from the movie are quite deep, however. While focusing my eyes to the screen, there was a part of me that reflect from the scenes that I am watching and to the realities that Iâve been facing in current life. Honestly, Iâve been into hard situation these past few months. I say itâs hard because I was required to choose and considering both sides is impossible.
In it, I was taught to classify kinds of love. Indeed, there are love that should be fought for, while there are also kinds that should be waited. Long before, I thought love in all kinds is something to be fought for; not because of any other reasons but it is that, love. That same love that saved us from sins. That same love that should be conquered no matter what. That same love that change bad entities to good. That same love that made many people realize that there is more in this miserable world. That same love that Professor Albus Dumbledore told Harry Potter as the best antidote against hate. As for me, yes, I fought for it because it is that, love. I even gave beyond necessary that at the end, I realized nothing was left for me.
There, he took everything I created for years. He took that pride which I learned to low down because of love. He destroyed that bridge made for me to cross because I want the place where he is. He erased that belief of fairytales because he made me realize that I am not always a princess, because sometimes I have to be my own knight-of-shining-armor and fight the pain he did not know he caused me. He made me awake from fantastic dreaming and taught me to face realities that could sometimes haunt nightmares in a fully awake me because I cannot believe some things made to happen. By that time, I was lost. I questioned my beliefs, my perceptions, my own principles and the life mottoes that kept me going all these years. I learned to question matters that made me on what I have become, the life that I live and yes, I learned to question myself.
Yet, after contemplating on everything, few things bounced back right in my face: I must not change my beliefs because these are things that make me think all these years that there are things a human mind cannot predict such as future, outcomes, ambitions, hope, surprises, ways, solutions, even love and healing. I must not have a paradigm shift on my perceptions and principles because it must not changed just because of someone or any other else, but because you want to change it due to the fact that it is your will and the shift would cause you good. I should not forget my life mottoes for those are guides that build foundation on me to be someone my God, parents, family and friends could be proud of. I must not regret what I have become because it is a something worth to be achieved for. I must not change the way I live because it is the main reason that despite the odds intervening my life and all the struggles I am going through, I believe that all these shall pass because I am in the right direction, at least, for me, is the right road for me to walk on, and no matter what and who Iâll be meeting along the way, there are no regrets because it is my choice and it is a choice that make me breath normally and live with a peaceful mind. Finally, I should not question what and who I am right and very now because a lot of people and I struggled to create it over 20 years. I do not have the right to question the learnings instilled in me and the values coiled inside me because it is not just about me, but a lot of people worked hard for me and this generation.
If there are some things to be changed, it is the way I think and all the negativeness I see in this life. I must change: my selfishness, because it is one thing that pushed him and people away; my proud self, because it insulted him and other people and if unchanged, will push another hundreds of people in my future life; the way I think, I overthink a lot and I realized that it disturbed not just the people Iâm with, but also the people around me, and worst, I am torturing myself (In fact, this post is perhaps one of the product of my âoverthinkingâ skills); my impatience, because it should be a big âno-noâ; and most of all, I should change this me that lack of love and trust for the self, because if I love myself enough, I should have known what I deserve right from the start, and if I trust myself right, I must have known that another second chance is a waste because I know the relationship has no direction but I could be fine at the end of it all.
Starting there, I realized that there is a particular love meant to be given up, that there are painful things that should be accepted because it would give way to the right one. As what Jackieâs line to Kiko, âhindi pwedeng bigay lang nang bigay, Kiko. mauubos ka n'yan. minsan, matuto ka ring tumanggap.â
Itâs actually hard. I cried for hours in a day and days in a week. I am mourning a little bit even until now. It is not because I have been unfortunate to be in a failed relationship. It is not because I am not a fighter enough to save it, but because it is a relationship not meant to be more than friendship, not meant to be a romantic one, an intimate one. I cried because of a relationship wasted, that if at the start, have been saved, must be here still. I cried for our awesome memories, seldom-in-a-lifetime moments, unforgettable experiences together, senseless yet happy talks and the happy thoughts that you cannot find from any other else. I guess, those are something to be cried for. For a normal human, those are.
I learned that the best kind of love is not selfish, selfless love is. I am doing this, not just for myself but also for him for he deserve the kind of love that is truer, compromising and will complement him. I am also doing this for the future me, that earlier Iâll gave up and sacrifice, the earlier I will be healed. Honestly, I believe that the previous relationship that I was into threatened me and the goodness in me, for I forgot all about myself and my sake. Thus, after having a lot of realizations, I promise that I will live a great life despite the painful things that happened.
However, these all taught me to forgive, even the person was so mean to me; for forgiving others is also a tunnel way in forgiving ourselves, setting ourselves free and accepting things as they are and the past that cannot be brought back. In that love game, I believe no one won and lose; both of us have been hurt and have hurt each other, as well. I also have faith that letting go is sometimes our help to the person for him to be happier and for us to heal and find ourselves.
The most, on all these, I learned to love unconditionally. It is indeed true that when you love, you do everything for it, you fight for it. If it slapped you to the ground, you will stand up and fight once again. Though, I failed, I am still so proud because I did that more than twice in a relationship. I am so lucky that I made a try on that.
I ended everything in that lovestory. All I have now are pictures of us that remind me of the memories and the beautiful story behind it. Those, I considered treasures in my memory box.
âEach one of us has a story of disaster but we are all Crazy Beautiful People and that makes us one of a kind.â (JC Libiran)
