#rodeoxqueen

On account that I am your favorite cowboy, may I please request something special for a special someone?

“May I ask for some headcanons about "Monopoly night" for the DMC crew (or just some of them, whatever you feel most comfortable with!)?”

Take Your Time,

Rodeo

As my favorite cowboy and sister, I guess. 🤍 You know I’d die for you. lmao ugh I love this request and the special someone requester. I hope I do this justice! Please accept my attempt at humor.

Monopoly Night

SFW: Sparda family bonding (ft. Lady)

—

As with most things involving the Sparda family, they enter this situation in haphazard flourish.

It’s an hour into lazing around the adjacent sofas and chairs at Devil May Cry when Dante announces his boredom. There are no theatrics in his delivery, only the gruff exhale of a man who needs a stiff drink.

He’s tired of watching Vergil and Nero read in the hollow silence of resounding discomfort. The palpable tension and pointed aversion is stifling despite the gentle breeze through the open window.    > Ugh.

Vergil exhales a long-suffering sigh. “Entertain yourself.”

The tin static of the music blaring from Nero’s headphones punctuates the itch Dante has to disturb.

Nero’s foot bounces in idle while he turns the page. He doesn’t look up, as if he’s purposely refusing to acknowledge the room.    > He is.

Dante is forced to reconcile with the uncomfortable tension and his own exasperation as he kicks his boots up on his desk with a heavy thud, leaning back into his chair to close his eyes. All these years of longing for a family, of homesickness for a reality that isn’t his own, and this is what he’s given?     > He isn’t actually mad, of course.

He’s saved when Lady pushes open the doors, surveys the room and says, “Wow. Who died?”

An hour and a frustrating amount of digging later, Dante and Lady uncover an unopened box of Monopoly from the depths of one of Dante’s closets. As if it’s Jumanji, they handle it with care.

...until Dante slams it on the coffee table between Vergil and Nero.

Hey There! Nice to meet you and welcome to fandom.

I get most of my inspiration from my day to day life. Just random thoughts I have when I’m watching TV, at work, whatever. I also have quite a few friends that are absolutely disgusting enablers, and come up with ideas that I never would have thought of. 

Writing is difficult, my biggest advice is to try and not burn yourself out, and not worry too much about what other people are able to write. I’m not the fastest at writing long things, so sometimes it drives me crazy that it might take me months to finish a fic and there are other people out there just smashing out great content. But I’ve learnt to take it all at my own pace, and just do what I can, because feeling burnt out and hating yourself for it is even worse. 

To honor that anon’s request, here I am. In my finest cowboy attire.

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you have FINE written all over you.”

Good day.

-Rodeo

Oh ho?

If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine!

LET PEOPLE TELL YOU YOU ARE LOVED. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH IF YOU DISAGREEE.

It’s not a threat it’s a promise. We all love you Leon!! Anyone who thinks otherwise can get a spur up the-

Anyways, we all love you for content and most importantly FOR YOU. YOU. KNIFE MAN. YOUUUUUU.

Your Queer Cowboy Sister,

Rodeo

Hello, 911? Yeah, I’d like to report an emergency. Mhm. Attempted murder. Yeah. Yeah. My friend Rodeo is tryina kill me. Weapon? Oh. Oh, uh... it’s kindness. Please come ASAP.

Okay, seriously. Rodeo, you really are my little cowboy sister and I’m grateful for you. I appreciate you coming into my ask to yell at me, even if you made me feel things I’m too masculine to feel. /j

This all goes back at ya, by the way. Your content? Fantastic. You? Incredible. 🤍🖕

And of course-

🖕🥺🖕

-Rodeo🤠🌵💛

🤡 - tumblr funny man

*honks my clown nose*

🌺 - u r my sunshine hehe

Hello, police?!

🐕 - GRRR RUFF RUFF BARK SNARL GGGG RUFF BARK BARK

POLICE?!

🦀 - lets evolve into the same animal for protection

I cast protection on our kind.

🖕🥺🖕

🍉🐶 🐚 💧 🎤-(Your name’s Leon. That’s kickass. It’s a vibe by its lonesome)

Cowboy Kisses,

Rodeo

Send me:

🍉 if I give off masculine vibes 🐶 if I give off adult vibes 🐚 if I give off quiet vibes 💧 if I give off medium vibes 🎤 if I give off kickass Leon vibes heeell yeah!

What’s up, Rodeo! Thanks for the vibes, my friend.

“Medium vibes” is an amazing phrase. (“Dude, your vibes are so medium right now.”) So, basically these are pretty damn accurate vibes. I’m an adult guy who can be quiet, I’m average height, and I love that you think my name is kickass. 🤍

I’m going to assume some things about ya.

You’re a really good cook. Gordon Ramsey prays to you at night.

You have short hair but you want to grow it out.

You have a Twitter.

You have chicken scratch handwriting.

You don’t have any tattoos.

You can speak Spanish.

Babies and animals like your vibes.

That’s All,

Rodeo

What’s up, Rodeo!

You’re a really good cook: Okay, I’d like to think so. For a hot second, I ran a recipe insta account. You want a sweet mac and cheese recipe? I got you.

You have short hair but you want to grow it out: Kinda. I have a faux hawk and it’s grown out but I’m debating letting it go a little or if I should get it trimmed. The struggle, man.

You have a Twitter: So, I think the answer to this is kinda. I don’t use it ever and I still have the randomly generated username but it does exist. LOL

You have chicken scratch handwriting: Correct! And boy do I ever.

You don’t have any tattoos: That’s awesome! I’m actually fairly heavily tatted. I have a full sleeve, a back piece, and couple on my other arm, and some finger tatts. I’m addicted.

You can speak Spanish: Kinda. I used to speak it proficiently but I’ve lost the ability over the years. I can still understand a good amount but catch me out here responding in English.

Babies and animals like your vibes: I am the child whisperer and cats in particular seem to like me. Making babies and little kids smile, though? I live for that.