#rockaways

I cannot believe how effective going on a boat and swimming in an ocean is for my mental health and well beaing. Oh, also I ate an arepa with plantains, avocado, and queso fresco. I could cry!!

I wrote this last night and forgot to post it and then today I walked into my work place to find the person I was covering medical leave for back (at my desk in my chair, having cleaned off my whole desk and put my (minimal) things away) and no one in my office had told me. So after being asked to train him on the new system we use to log deliveries I asked what was the plan for my employment, they replied we’ll reassess at the end of this week. I said that is not an acceptable answer, I deserve secure employment, calmly closed my laptop, got a ride down on the service elevator, and left.

So, no (if you’ve been following along for the last three years) I once again did not get insurance. It was supposed to happen this week. I did find a way to get my medication but subscription pharmacies are expensive and when the charge surprise went through it overdrafted my account and now I only have one last pay check coming and no job prospects. God really fucking hates me!!!

Anyway to all boomers and parents and other capitalist drugged morons: no it doesn’t matter if you show up on time and work hard and treat people with care and go the extra mile to trouble shoot things and actually care about your work. It does not matter AT ALL, it doesn’t matter if they like you or your make a good impression, you are as disposable and replaceable as a tissue. It all feels so fucking futile and like the longest humilation ritual I have ever endured and I’ve had to live my whole life as myself.