#robynsrequests

In that moment, Fred was bamboozled, his eyes darting between Filch, angrily approaching down his corridor, and a rather pink-looking Snape coming up yours. Luckily, you weren’t in such a daze. Grabbing his hand, you tugged him up.

“Come on” you say in a hurried yet sweet tone

“Yes, ma’am” he smirked, allowing you to lead him as you hopped quickly through one of the archways and across the courtyard to your escape.

End of flashback

After that, you and Fred met often. Your friendship wasn’t exactly secret, but to your family and friends, it all appeared surface-level. They didn’t know about the pranks you both pulled together back at Hogwarts, or how you would gush to each other about everything and anything, or how you both purposefully chose flats nearby after graduation. No, to the rest of the world, you and Fred were nothing more than acquaintances and neighbours.

“Morning” you greet the table softly, a sleepy smile across your face as you walk over to the kitchen, automatically melting into the conjoined hug of your parents

Fred can’t help but smile a little as he looks away from the scene and back to the table. Over the years, your friendship has grown into something more. There hadn’t been some defining moment when his friendly sentiment matured into love, it was the gradual kind of love, slow, inevitable, until his heart only had room in it for you

“You alright, sweetie?” Fred's head raises at Lily’s voice across from him “You’ve been quiet this morning?” she checks in, her maternal affection warming his heart

His parents were spending the Holidays with Bill and Fleur as she was too close to her due date to travel this year, and the Potters had been more than happy to invite the rest of the Weasley clan to stay with them instead

“Oh, I’m grand” he brushes off her concern “Think I had a bit too much firewhiskey last night” he jokes, earning some laughs from those around him and a small shoulder squeeze from George

George, however, knew he was lying. He’d noticed how different his twin had been acting lately, especially this holiday. Still, he kept his distance, knowing Fred would come to him eventually, just he always did. That didn’t stop him from worrying all the same

“You sure?” he whispers, eyeing his twin

“Yeah, I’ll be okay, promise” Fred assures, gifting a fond smile 

Conversation flows again once more as Sirius and Remus join the table, recounting the previous evenings events and filling those who tapped out early on the later escapades. You sit down a few moments later, carefully carrying your mug of hot chocolate, being cautious not to lose any of your marshmallows along the way

“Merlin y/n…” George chuckles as you take a seat across from him “...you want some hot chocolate with those mallows?” 

You smile quietly at the teasing, though Fred’s sure if he was any closer, he would be able to feel the heat from your cheeks

“Leave her alone” Ginny jumps to your defence, gently elbowing her brother “You’re just jealous you don’t have one” she teases him back before shooting a wink in your direction

You giggle at that, as does Fred, looking at you fondly as the table settles back into quiet conversation. It doesn’t take long for your eyes to meet his, sleep still clinging to them as you mouth a small ‘hi’. He returns the greeting, and your soft eyes linger on his for a few moments before your smile deepens, and you turn away beginning to fill your plate with the mornings feast

Fred was sure you felt the same way as he did. Nothing was ever said aloud, but there were clear signs, from the soft grazing of hands to stolen glances at lips, even moments like the one just now, littered with quiet confessions and longing. But today was the day that was all going to change. Today was the day he would ask you to be his, but first he had to overcome one major obstacle…your parents.

They were the overprotective type, to the point every boy in this room, plus Ginny, had been given the talkfrom them at one point or another, practically forbidding them from ever dating you. Fred got the talk during his final year at Hogwarts when you and he were paired together in  Herbology. Word had gotten back that you and he had been spending time together in the library. Of course, after he explained you two were merely working on your project, they lightened up, but he never forgot how relieved they were, nor how his talk seemed far more intense upon hearing others recount their own

“Alright” Sirius announces as he stands up, Remus following “Anyone need anything else from the shops? Last orders before the shops shut” he claps his hands lightly 

“We need some more rum for the pudding” James asks, earning a hum of acknowledgement from Sirius, while Remus shares a knowing look with Lily who had, in fact, helped him in polishing off the last of the rum the night before

“Dad, could we get some big marshmallows to make s’mores?” you speak up “With the good chocolate?” you add shyly, flashing those adorable eyes of yours that they could never resist, not that they ever did

“Of course, pup” Remus chuckles, secretly excited himself, now had an excuse to buy more chocolate for his stash without arousing Sirius’ suspicion “Well, if that's everything, we’ll be off”

Remus and Sirius gave a quick wave as they headed out of the room to grab their coats while Fred sits in thought. This was his chance, an opportunity to grab your parents alone 

“Where are you off to?” George asks as Fred stands up, drawing the attention of the entire table

Fred flashes a smile, mostly for you and George as your brows furrow in concern “I’m going to give them a hand. Could use the fresh air to wake me up” he says, keeping up his hungover façade, everyone seems to buy it except yourself and George, however, you both let it go for now as he heads off to catch up with your fathers 

Fred hurried out into the cold, his coat only half on as he spotted your parents. 

“Merlin they walk fast” he mutters, jogging to catch up while his thoughts race 

This is it. Just ask. They’re reasonable men. They won’t murder you on sight… probably

“Hey! You two need a spare hand?” Fred called, finally tugging his coat into place.

The men turn around, glancing at one another before pleasant surprise crosses their faces 

“Course, more the merrier. Young lad like yourself can help us carry” Sirius shrugs happily while Remus gestures, hithering for him to join

As they all trecked through a fresh coat of snow, the conversation is light. They ask of his family, the shop, his and George’s plans for expansion to Hogsmeade next summer. Fred is thankful, it gives him the chance to actually connect with them one on one, he asks about their school days, their best pranks, the map. He even learned how they came to the decision to adopt you, leading to a small ramble from Sirius about how proud he was of you on the way back…

“...you know she's just like Moony when he was young…” he says, referring to your shy nature “...though she does have a cheeky side, I know this will surprise you, but she’s a little chatterbox when she gets going…” he continues on

Fred tries his best to hide his smile. It did not surprise him, he adored your rambles, especially that little bounce you did when you were excited 

Remus chuckles, gently interrupting his husband off “As much as I love your chatter my love. I’m curious to hear more about how you're doing?” he redirects, his voice kind but pointed “You’ve told us about the shop but…” he trails off, searching for the right words

Sirius, as usual, cuts straight to the point “A little birdy may have let slip that you’re going through a bit of a dry spell” 

Fred’s eyes widen, cheeks reddening as he’s taken aback “Ugh…well…umm” he strugges, unable to find words, which only made the couple in front of him chuckle

“I’m sorry Fred, my husband lacks a degree of subtlety…” Remus says, shooting Sirius a look but said man is seemingly unbothered, likely stuck on the word husband and the love sick glow it gave him “What we mean is we’ve noticed ourselves you’ve been a little off since you got here, like your mind is elsewhere” Remus continues “And, well, we may have been talking to George last night. I asked him how things were going with Lee; he mentioned that you’d stopped going out much. He seemed quite worried about you”

Fred lets out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck “It’s true. I’ve stopped going out as much as I used to” he agrees, though he did not expect this to be the direction this conversation was going

“Growing out of it?” Sirius’ asks, head tiltin with an understanding smile “Happened to me once upon a time” 

“You’re half right” Fred admits with a small nod “I have grown a lot since Hogwarts but…there also a reason why nothing ever worked out for the long run” his voice steadies, realising the conversation was leading in the direction he needed it to, his thoughts becoming clearer

This is it. Just say it

“Is there someone special?” Remus asks softly, and Sirius’ expression shifts from mild curiosity to sudden realisation, Fred Weasley, major flirt and prankster extraordinaire has fallen in love

Fred’s eyes flick between the two men, inhaling deeplt before speaking, his voice filled with conviction “Well…that's actually why I offered to help today. I’m in love with your daughter” 

Silence

Fred watches their eyes widen in surprise before their expressions become unreadable. The weight of his confession lingered in the chilly air and he braces himself. They clearly hadn’t been expecting that, and there was still a very real chance he was about to decked at the side of the road 

“You…” Sirius blinks a few times, shaking his head slightly “You…love her? Not just some passing infatuation or…forbidden fruit nonsense?” he poses holding himself back, his tone wasn’t cruel but the question stung nonetheless

Fred stands his ground, his voice firm yet sincere “I do. Very much. I know I haven’t always been the most shining example, but…loving her is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. She’s my best friend. I feel safe around her, seen, listened to…even adopted her rambling” his voice softens, getting a little embarrassed at his gush “She’s my favourite person…don’t tell Georgie” he adds at the end with a nervous laugh

Remus’ expression remains stoic, but Sirius’ soften slightly at Freds sincerity 

“Are you begging for forgiveness…” Remus finally asks “…or are you asking for our permission”

Fred’s lips quirk into a small smile “Permission” he confirms without hesitation

Remus and Sirius stare at him for a moment, then glance at one another, something unspoken passing between them

“Do we mess with him?” Sirius whispers to Remus, his hand covering his mouth as he lets a cheeky grin slip through

“As fun as that would be, I think he’s waited long enough” Remus replies softly ”...and so has our pup” 

After a few more moments to let Fred think they were really debating the issue Remus turns back towards him and nods “Yes” he says simply

Fred blinks “Seriously?” 

Sirius rolls his eyes playfully “Yes, seriously. But if you hurt her…” his tone turns deadly sirius “We will kill you” he warns

Fred smiles wide, relief and joy washing over him “Understood” he nods, but his excitement can no longer be contained “Thank you!” he lunges forward pulling them both into a tight hug, practically lifting them off the ground

Sirius chuckles “Alright…alright! Put s down before we change our minds”

Fred awkwardly sets them down, cheeks red but still wears a huge smile, one that wont be getting wiped off anytime soon. The three resume their walk back to the Potters, but on the way back Sirius glances over his shoulder at Fred

“So, when are ya planning on telling her? Tonight?”

Fred freezes mid step

Remus stops too, a knowing laugh escaping him “You have no idea, do you?”

“Honestly?” Fred admits, a sheepish grin spreading across his face “I didn’t think I’d get this far”

Thank you for reading ♡

“Oi” he’s pulled from his gloom by Sirius nudging him, pointing towards the door “Speak of the angel and there she shall appear” he grins, his point turning it’s a little wave at you and your friends

Remus lights up, heart warming at your shy smile and slight embarrassment when both Peter and James join in waving to you…in fact they couldn’t see but Marlene, Lily and Alice had all begun to wave as well. You grant them a small wave back as you head to find a seat, Amos joining you as he smiles at them, while Alex shoots a wink and a small salute, the former towards one particular marauder. 

“Happy now?” James grins at his friend

Remus nods bringing his gaze back to you as Dumbledore starts his speech, he barely listens, doubting it’s any more interesting this year than it has been the last six. Instead he admires you, he’d missed you so much, more than he realised in fact, the boy couldn’t take his eyes off you. His gaze drifted across your features, while he noted your face did look a little hollow, his mind had other ideas, asking you if you had been eating properly could come later, but for now his eyes fixated on your lips as he daydreamed about kissing you, touching you, f…

“Ha…best behaviour for the youngins…” Sirius brings him back to reality, chuckling to himself “...that’ll be right?” turning his gaze to him, before he starts to grin “Moony missin’ her too eh?” he wiggles his eyebrows noting Remus’ blown pupils and guilty look

If he wasn’t already bright in the face Remus was scarlet now “Shut up” he grumbles trying to compose himself, face riddled with embarrassment but it softens as he realises your looking over 

Hi, he mouths 

Hi, you mouth back with a small smile before turning your attention to the front once more but somethings off, he can feel it

You felt awful, every bone in your body ached, and it didn’t help that your skirt's waistband was rubbing against last month's scar. You were grateful none were too visible, the biggest were along your waist and hips from the initial attack, though there was one other on your arm, it could easily be written off as a fall or cat scratch, the former being the one used likely use as it lined up with a real fall you had written to Remus about over summer.

Remus

You sighed as you glanced over at him, finding his attention had finally moved back to his friends, most likely plotting their first prank of the year. It was easy to pretend in your letters, thankfully he hadn’t come looking for you on the train but you knew you would have to talk to him eventually. Would he know? Would he be able to sense you were now like him? Would he see you as he saw himself? Would he think you a monster?

Am I a monster now?

“Hey…” you’re broken out of your gaze, a soft hand finding your shoulder, followed by your friend's kind smile “...are you alright?” Alex asks, knowing something is wrong, just not what

“You can tell us anything” Amos adds, smiling on your other side “You’ve been quiet” and he was right, you’d barely said two words to them since kings cross that morning

How do I tell them? you think eyes welling 

“”Hey hey” Amos turns you around as you try to look away, making you face him “You don’t have to tell us…” he assures and you almost want to cry more, you had such wonderful friends “...but let us help you” 

“Anything you need, sunshine” Alex’s smile grows into a smirk “We do hugs, skipping out on welcome feasts early, hexes…” that one makes you giggle causing the two boys faces to light up

“Think we could start with a group hug?” you look up at them, the welling tears dissipating as they waste no time wrapping you up in a warm embrace

“Love, wait up!”

You close your eyes, scrunching your face a little as you stop, trying to put on your best act as you turn back around to greet your boyfriend as he lightly jogs towards you

“Oh hi” you smile at him, playing dumb and pretending like you weren’t just trying to avoid him…again

Remus stops in front of you “I’ve been trying to catch you all day!” he laughs a little bit while you feel guilt swell in your stomach “Merlin I’ve missed you so much” he confesses right away 

Dammit, you think, finding yourself folding as you stare up at those big brown eyes of his, it didn’t help that your new little wolfy self was acting up either

You’d noticed the heightened senses, your hearing was impeccable now, and you finally understood why Remus was so prone to irritation, you almost smacked poor Amos in potions earlier for stirring the cauldron a little too loudly. Turns out smell was no different either, Remus smelled absolutely divine, and your wolf earned for him.

“Bun?” he gently prods and your heart breaks…you weren’t his bunny anymore

The realisation causes you to crumble, almost knocking him over as you wrap your arms around his torso, burying your face in his chest

He chuckles at that, oblivious to the turmoil inside “I’ll take that as you missed me too” he returns the hug, nose finding your hair

Merlin you smelled great, more so than normal, your pheromones always drove him nuts around the full moon but it was on overdrive now, so much so he finds himself gently shifting, unable to resist waiting to kiss you in a more private location as he brings one hand up to cup the back of your head, while he uses the other to guide your gaze back towards him, but as he moves in he notices the slight glisten in your eyes 

“Is something wrong?” he asks, large hands finding your cheeks 

You freeze, you never wanted to lie to Remus, you never thought yourself capable, and perhaps you aren’t not truely “I…I wish I could’ve spent the summer with you” it’s not a lie…because if you had, things would be just as they were and nothing would have to change 

His face softens to a downturned smile, his eyes looking at you with such love “You’re too sweet to me” he brings you back into a warm embrace “I promise we will next year” he tells you, and you squeeze him tighter

You might not want me next year

The next few days went slowly for both of you, you knew Remus had figured out you were avoiding him on purpose. Never before had you been so distant, especially before a full moon. It hurt so much, every time you crossed paths you wanted nothing more than to run to him, hold him, kiss him anywhere he was hurting but you couldn’t. You knew how the full moons affected your boyfriend, in fact you could feel it yourself, that desire to be close to the one you love, if you did go to his dorm as you normally did he would see the scars, he would see the bite mark, he would know you weren’t his sweet little bunny anymore.

You fell back on your bed, eyes glancing over to the clock, you would need to leave soon if you were to get deep enough into the woods. Your eyes started to water, you didn’t want to go, this was only your second moon and it was already unbearable 

You had never felt so alone…

Remus was worried, you never came by to see him, it was so unlike you. These past few days had been so strange to him, he knew something must have happened, he also knew you hadn’t spoken to your friends about it as they seemed just as confused as he did, but whatever it was he couldn’t fix right now

“That's us set up” Sirius pokes his head in averting his eyes from Remus’ unclothed figure “I’m sure she has a good reason moons” 

Remus only nods, waiting until Sirius closes the door before reassuring himself  “She does…” he brings his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them “...she loves us…” he gently rocks back and forth whispering “...she loves us”

Meanwhile Sirius makes it out of the willow, meeting James and Peter as they hide their bags for later “How is he?” Peter asks, looking forlorn as he notices his friend

“He’s putting on a brave face but…” Sirius shakes his head handing his and Remus’ bags to James “...he needs her” he puts simply

“I don’t understand why she didn’t come” James says, feeling genuinely confused as he reaches up to tuck away the last of the bags “Even when they’ve been in a fight she’s always shown up”

“Something must have happened” Peter looks to James “Maybe tomorrow we could go talk to her friends, surely they know” he suggests

James nods, hands finding his hips “Yeah…yeah that sounds good” he agrees, nodding a little more than was necessary in his worry “Sirius that a plan?” he and Peter look towards their friend only to find him looking somewhere between confused and concerned “Sirius?”

After a few more calls and one branch thrown at him Sirius finally responds “I…ugh…look” he can’t even form a sentence, doing a double take at his friends as he points towards the lining of the trees

James and Peter's eyes scan the area, widening with horror as they see you running towards the tree line. The trio look amongst themselves, their eyes doing the talking as they shift, they didn’t have much time to question why you were out here on tonight of all nights but they follow you into a small clearing, watching as you hang your bag on one of the branches, opening it up as you begin to take off your clothes.

Sirius makes a quiet grunt for only the boys to hear as they grasp you are fully stripping down causing them to all look at him instead of you as they give each other confused looks. However you never make it that far, it’s a scream that causes their heads to shoot back in your direction and they watch an all too familiar scene

You did have a good reason for not showing up tonight…and it shattered their hearts

They didn’t have much time to dwell. Sirius jumps into action first, attempting to distract you from clawing at yourself, while James slowly approaches behind with Peter sitting up on his back acting as a lookout for Remus as if you turned he surely couldn’t be far behind. 

You seem a little startled at first before stalking towards Sirius, you seem to note he isn’t scared of you, the boys watch as you calm, your body no longer tense, nor sensing you are in danger and so you let them guide you warily through the woods. In all honesty the boys had no idea what they were doing, they figured if you could sense that Sirius wasn’t a threat then maybe you and Remus would recognise each other as such as well…hopefully

As they came towards the clearing they could hear Remus as he whined in pain but the boys had no time to react as you already bolted off. Startled, they try to catch up, but as they move past the tree line they realise you’ve already made your way to him, growling. 

Shit

They’re eyes flick between one another, worried they had made the wrong choice until they watch Remus relax, the two of you sniffing around each other before you begin to lick his wounds and it dawns on them that you weren’t challenging him, you were berating him for hurting himself.

The rest of the moon went by smoothly, the best the boys had ever seen and it was all thanks to you. By the end Sirius and Peter had managed to herd you and Remus back into the willow while James headed back to get your bag

“I can’t believe it” Peter says in astonishment, sliding down the roots to sit at the entrance beside James “No wonder she’s been acting off”

James hums in agreement, fiddling with the strap of your bag “She doesn’t deserve this…neither of them do” he states, sadness washing over him “Man…this gonna break him when he wakes up, he loves her so much”

“He does…” the boys jump a little as Sirius reappears from the willow “I didn’t want to go in fully for y/n’s sake...but I’ve thrown the blanket in that general direction and well…it’s not like they haven’t seen it all before” he makes a face, chuckling softly with the other two as lowers himself to the ground to join them as they decide to try and get a little bit of sleep

At first you didn’t know where you were, eyes opening slowly to survey your surroundings, you had expected to wake up in a ditch somewhere but not…wait. Your eyes widen, jolting up with a slight hiss as you look around, you were in the shack but if you were in the shack then that meant…

“Hey…” you jump a little at his voice, slowly turning to find Remus sitting just behind you, posted up against the wall, one leg half bent with his arm wrapped around it “...how are you feeling? Any pain?” he asks, strain evident in his voice, he looks broken and it kills you

You can only shake your head, slowly bringing the blanket up to cover yourself, shivering a little from the cold draft “Rem…” you say so quietly you’re not even sure you’ve said anything at all

“You’re cold” he states, wincing a little as he moves over to you, body still aching from from his own transformation “I’m okay, don’t worry” he assures, knowing exactly what you were thinking “Here” he pulls off his jumper “Hands up sweetheart” 

You do as you're told, allowing him to slip the jumper over your head. He was being so gentle with you, like you might shatter at a single touch, it shouldn’t have surprised you but it did, he must have seen the scars, he must see you differently now…he must…

“Do you think I’m a monster?” you whisper and his movements stop, eyes meeting yours in shock

He blinks at you a couple times before letting out a confused “What?”

Your eyes mist “Do you think I’m a monster?” you repeat, gaze never leaving his

“No” he shake his head firmly, hands finding yours “Never” he says almost harshly, stunned you would ever think such a thing 

“Really?” you eyebrows lift, hope and relief in your voice 

His eyes soften, confusion washing away as he finally sees it, and a bitter sense of deja vu falls over him. Almost a year ago to the day he sat in your position, looking up at you, asking if you fought him, a monster. He even remembers trying to convince you he was but you wouldn’t hear it, you refused to believe he was no matter what he said. In the end he stil didn’t believed it, but seeing you now, looking at you from the other position he realised just how stupid he had been, how much his own self hatred had made you scared to come to him, made you hate yourself the way he had all this time

“Really” he promises “Is…” he hesitates, because he’s almost certain he knows the answer “Is this why you've been avoiding me?” he asks, one hand slipping out of your own to softly cup your cheek

You lean into it, eyes fluttering as your own comes up to cup it “Yes” you confirm and he nods, looking in though “I’m so sorry…I…” he cuts you off 

“Don’t you dare” he warns “You aren’t turning into me, I won’t allow it” both hands are cupping your face now “You haven’t changed, not to me, okay? You are still my girl, still my bu-” but you cut him off this time

“But I’m not I-” you try to argue but Remus isn’t having it

“Stop” he gently shakes your face to regain your attention “You know why I started to call you bunny?” you shake your head “Because whenever you get excited you would do this little bounce, you do it when you’re excited to see me, geeking out about a new book and not to mention when we…” he blushes, stopping himself

You feel heat rush to your cheeks “Remmyy!” you gently shove him as you bounce a little in faux annoyance, causing you both to let out little laughs 

“There she is” he smiles at you, laughing more as you become self aware of your bounces, getting all shy before him “Nothing you could ever do would make me think you a monster. I’m so sorry bun, I never want you to talk about yourself the way I have, understood?”

You hum in agreement, nodding “...but that means you can’t be cruel to yourself either” you challenge him, holding your pinky up at him as a small smile gracing your face as you do

Remus clicks his tongue, of course you would use this as a way to help him love himself as well “Fine” he promises, taking your pinky “…now come ‘ere” he moves back to sit against the wall once more, patting his lap as he hithers for you to join him while you chew on your lip a little, shyly accepting the offer and moving to straddle his legs 

“There we go” he presses a lingering kiss to your hair, hands wrapping around you while your head falls into his chest “Better?”

“Much” you hum, savouring the moment before you lift your head “I suppose you must have some questions?” you wonder, hands finding his chest, fiddling with buttons of his shirt

“I do” he confesses, it was only natural “My attack is hazy for me now because I was so young…” he softly caresses your cheek “...but it’s fresh for you and I…I don’t want to pry, I can wait until you’re ready” he assures you

You take his hand, pressing a soft kiss to his palm “You remember I told you about my dads case? He was representing the family that was attacked much like you were?” you begin and Remus nods, hands moving to your hips, thumbs gently brushing beneath the hem of his jumper   

“Yeah, in your letters you said they got them all and your dad was taking you up north to celebrate?” he recalls but then his lips part “They didn’t get them all did they?”

You shake your head “Turns out their was a much bigger player, someone else behind the scenes who was pulling all the strings” you explain, eyes falling down to his chest, this is going to kill him

“Love…” he tries to guide you back to him “...who…” but as your eyes meet his and they tell all 

“Rem” you voice trembles a little

“Say it” he begs you

“Greyback” you whisper watching as Remus’ heartbreak sinks into rage, his grip on your hips tightening “Remmy…Rem…”

He doesn’t hear you say his name, everything around him fades as his anger grows. He never wanted to hear that name again, he never wanted to see that monster again but now? All he could think about was ripping him apart, taking away his freedom like he had done to so many, making him feel as weak and powerless as Remus had felt his whole life…how you would now feel your whole life

I’ll kill him

“Rem” you gently cup his face pulling back to you “Stay with me” you kiss him softly

His hands come up to meet yours “But he hurt you, cursed us to be in pain for the rest of our lives…and the worst part is he’ll be revelling in it all…that bastard…he…” his anger sinks into sadness at your comforting touch “he…” he pleads with you 

“He did and we don’t ever have to forgive him but we can't let him take away anything else from us either. He won’t ruin our lives”  you watch remus’ eyes soften and you smile at him trying to lighten the mood “Besides…there's always silver linings”

“And what would those be?” he tilts his head, struggling to see it

“Well…” you move your hands downward and kiss his cheeks “...if your senses are anything like mine I smell great” you giggle and he starts to smile, a loving gaze as he looks up at you “And perhaps more importantly…” you peck his nose making it scrunch in the most perfect way “...you’ll never worry about me during a full moon…” you nudge your nose against his “...and that fantasy you have of us living in your parents old cottage can be real, because…” you lean in close, lips grazing as your foreheads kiss “...you’ll never be alone again”

Remus’ heart feels like it might burst, you were right, there were silver linings. He had no idea what his life was going to be like after Hogwarts, he knew he couldn’t rely on his friends forever, nor could he have asked you to bear that responsibility alone, instead you and he would face it together, care for each other together…heal together

“Promise” he holds up his pinky 

You smile against his lips, wrapping you own pinky around it “Promise” and with that he closes the gap

Thank you for reading ♡ (I promise my writing will get smoother again with time)

There's anticipation in the silence that follows his footsteps, he must wonder where you are, if you’re even in or have popped to the shops, maybe he’s searching the fridge for a note. The electric hum of your record player gives it away in the end, even you jump a little as you had forgotten about it, watching it turn before the needle softly falls, the hum becoming a symphony once more

His footsteps approach the bedroom, a curious look at his head pops into frame before the rest of him, most likely expecting you to be dancing, or maybe finishing your hair, anything he can sneakily admire like he normally does. Instead you watch his expression soften into concern, eyes darting around the room. Your bedroom was normally a little messy, but today it was like someone had ransacked your wardrobe… that someone being you. 

When his eyes find you again you wonder what you look like. He must catch the tear stains on your cheeks and puffy eyes, but is your hair as frizzy and frazzled as you feel after all the quick changes? Does he see you the way you see yourself should you dare to glance in a nearby mirror?

“Hi” you impress yourself with how steady your voice is

“Hi” he smile softly at you, voice gentle as he makes his way over to the bed, kneeling down in front of you, hand coming up to brush against your cheek before falling and resting on your knee, tracing soothing circles 

You manage a weak smile back, trying to push away the embarrassment as he has to shift a little to the side due to the buttons of one of your shirts “I’m sorry about the mess” you apologise, keeping one hand on your jumper while the other finds his, fingers intertwining 

He lets out a breathy laugh “Mess? Darlin we both know this is cleaner that my flat has very been” he teases lightly, but then his eyes turn glassy “Oh darling” he coos, wiping away a stray tear you had missed

You never wanted him to see you like this. You’d known each other for years, but he never knew the depth of your struggle, nor how much worse it had gotten now you and he had finally taken your relationship to the next level. No, this was something you had kept to yourself, a battle until now you thought you had under control, thought you were long past

“I’m not doing so great today Siri” you confess, voice small as you lean into his touch

You hold your breath a little as his eyes fall upon the clutched fabric around your stomach. Little did you know he’d noticed this behaviour before when you thought he was asleep. He recalls last week when he woke to find you in front of his mirror, shirt hiked up as you poked and prodded, scrutinising the reflection. He didn’t say anything then, just made sure to show you later how much he adored every inch of you

But now seeing you like this, so defeated, he wishes he had done more

“Yeah?” his tone inflects and you give him a little nod “There’s nothing I can say that's going to make this better is there? Not really?” he wonders, not mad, nor judging you, he’s just him and he understood even if it did hurt 

When he and Remus had dated back at Hogwarts, Sirius had gone about trying to help him in all the wrong ways. Being the hot head he was, sprinkled with youthful arrogance, he used to get so upset at how his boyfriend had spoken of himself. Over the years, and after the relationship has blossomed back into friendship, he and Remus had more productive chats about it all, apologies were said, and Sirius learned more about the thought process that went through his friends head in those moments.

You were different from Remus of course, Sirius didn’t know what drove your insecurities but he knew he would be patient with them, help you in anyway he could, and that started by listening to you

“No” you answer honestly “I wish there was though. A magic word or sentence that could make it all disappear” you confess “But everytime I look in the mirror all I can see is what’s wrong”

“And what is wrong?” he encourages you to continue as he lifts himself up, being careful of your clothes as he joins you on the bed

Your legs fall from their crossed position, head falling onto his shoulder as your knee shifts to touch his “Everything” you admit, tightening your grip on the jumper, while Sirius' arm slips around your back, fingers gliding across your bare skin “No matter what I try on, it never feels…right. Even outfits I was excited about. I take one too many glances in the mirror and poof…” you shrug, throwing your hands up “...suddenly all I can see is my stomach” you look up at him through your eyelashes, nervous of what he’ll think, but instead he wears that fond smile he always did when he looks at you

“Keep going” he nods, leaning down to kiss your forehead 

Your heart swells at the gesture, a tiny downturned smile grazing your features as tears prick your eyes “Why are you being so sweet with me?” you ask, even though you already know the answer, that little girl inside still needs to hear it aloud

His movements never stop on your back and his other hand finds the side of your face, gently caressing your hairline, endlessly tucking that little piece of hair behind your ear “Because I care about you. You’re my best friend” he answers simply “There’s no one else that comes close anymore”

“Not even Prongs?” you ask, eyes lighting up with a tiny smile that always sends his heart into a tizzy

“Not even Prongs” he confirms with a chuckle, tapping your nose, adoring the little scrunch it makes “So” he shifts the subject back “What happened today?”

“Remember last week when we couldn’t sleep, so we watched movies all night?” you prop yourself up

Sirius’ smile widens at the memory “Course, we watched the one that was like us but way less cool and then…ugh i can’t remember but I do remember what we did when the movies got boring” he flirts, wiggling his eyebrows, making you giggle and playful poke his side causing him to yip “You little…”

“Siri!” your giggles turn into laughter as he starts tickling you, hopping onto his knees as you fall back onto the plush of the duvet, squirming under his sweet torture “I yield! I yield!” you squeal, holding your hands up 

He relents “Sorry darlin', I couldn’t resist” he tells you, kicking off his shoes before falling onto the bed beside you, propping himself up on his elbow while his other hand finds your hip, eyes lost in admiration for a moment before they find yours “What were we talking about again…” he looks off to the side, avoiding your hips as not to lose his train of thought once more “...ugh…tickles…getting bored…movies!” he celebrates "The movie" he gets serious again, lips pressing together in a way that tells you he wishes he could say sorry, even though you both know he doesn't need to

You place a sweet kiss to his lips, letting him know it’s okay before shifting onto your side, mirroring him “I couldn’t stop thinking about how cool the outfit the girl wore in the first movie was, so I wanted to try and recreate it for drinks tonight” you explain, eyes widening as you realise the time “Drinks…oh, we’re going to be so late” you sigh, head collapsing into the mattress beside him 

Sirius rubs your back “Darling when are we not late” he chuckles, making you peak out at him 

“I’m still sorry” you needlessly apologise, feeling awful 

“We don’t have to go, you know?” he assures you, his hand sliding up to your head, giving your scalp gentle scratches 

You tilt your head back, humming into his touch “I do want to go” your eyes flick back to his “I just…don’t stop!” you pout at him in mock anger, he really should have known better

He chuckles “Sorry darling” he apologises, placing a quick peck to your forehead before resuming his movements

“Good boy” you can’t help the grin, watching as he shakes his head slightly, now it’s you who should know better about what those words do to him...but then your smile drops “I just wish I could magic myself there without having to choose, like I need to look a certain way” 

“What kind of way?” 

“Honestly?” you shrug, shaking your head “I don’t know anymore. All I know is whatever I try on it never looks or feels right. Like back at Hogwarts, I didn’t tuck in my jumpers because it looked cute. I tucked them in because I thought I looked frumpy with them out” you confess, pit swelling in your stomach

You hated yourself for your thought process, for the years of walking into rooms,and having your night made or ruined based on how your body measured up against others

“That sounds really hard” he says softly while his fingers graze your hairline

Your body relaxes at the validation 

“Why haven’t you ever talked to me about this?” he asks, no pressure behind his words only care

“I didn’t really tell anyone, mostly because I never realised everything I felt and did wasn’t normal until a couple years after we left. I worked hard on it and I thought my days of this…” you gesture to the mess “...was over” you let out a sad sigh

“What happened?” 

Sirius’ heart drops a little bit, this was the part he most worried about, had he brought this back? Had he said something that accidentally had a double meaning for you? 

“A couple weeks ago I found the pair of jeans I wore on our first real date.” your eyes drop to the duvet, hands playing with the slight frill in the material as you recall the memory “They don’t fit anymore Siri” you scrunch your nose attempting to suppress the tears “Nothing fits I’ve…I’m…I don’t like it” you finally get out 

“Oh honey, come ‘ere’” he hithers, holding out his arms

It doesn’t take long for you to fall into his embrace, head nuzzling into his chest as his arms come protectively around you

“I know it’s silly-” you sniffle into him, but he cuts you off sweetly with a soft tut

“It’s not darling and you’re not either” he cups the back of your head, bringing you gaze to his to hone in his latter statement “I don’t think it’s silly at all, I think this is really hard and I wish you didn’t have to go through it all alone” he smiles sadly, pain evident in his eyes 

“Did you notice?” you feel like you already know the answer

He caresses your cheek, eyes a little glassy “Little bit bub” he confesses “I noticed something' was off, but I didn’t want to push it until you were ready”

“Really?” he nods

“Darlin…” his demeanour turns from playful to sincere “...no matter what size or shape you come in, I’m always going to love you. I didn't fall for you because you looked a certain way. I fell for you because you made me feel like I was worth a damn, not just for a night but everyday. You believed in me every time I couldn’t, you put up with me forgetting everything every two seconds, not to mention my grumpy side when I have to wake up early…” you both chuckle together “...and above all you make me feel like the most special person in the entire world every day”

“Because you are special” you say simply to which he taps your nose with his own

“And so are you. So until you believe the version of yourself I see, I will, and I'll help anyway I can…starting…” he grins, uncoupling himself from you and getting off the bed ”...right now!” he gestures for you to join him “Come on love lets see ya” you do as he says, a nervous yet happy smile across your face as you stand near bare before him, no jumper protecting you now “Well whatever you wear has to match the underwear…good godric woman”

His hands find his hips, shaking his head as his eyes track across your frame, drinking you in like man that's been lost in the desert

“Flirt” you smile up at him

“Only for you” he throws you a wink, relishing in your slight fluster before turning to the rest of the room “Okay…let's try something simple” he suggests, scanning the pile of discarded clothes "How about the outfit you wore that day we went to the...aww what's it called, it's one the funny muggle picture places but with the cars"

"The drive-in cinema?" you decipher with a laugh, it was easy to forget Sirius wasn't brought up the same way you were

"That's it!" he cheeses at you "Yeah the sin-e-ma...you wore an outfit kinda similar to her in the movie but way more you"

As Sirius starts raking through one of the piles, you take a moment, glancing in the mirror closest to you, you could only really see your head and tips of your shoulders in this one thankfully, but in your gaze you realise you were right to be worried about the fizz, the many different shirts and jumpers had wreaked their havoc. You move closer, unaware of Sirius finding the clothes you wore that day, nor his adorable struggle to turn one of the legs back from being inside out. 

He soon joins you at the mirror, placing the clothing on the dresser beside you “You know love…I might be a little bias but I think it looks great, it’s messy in a good way…” he smirks earning an eye roll from yourself as you know exactly what kind of messy he's referring to “...though if you're worried about it being too sexy lets..." he grabs a clip and hair tie from your pile, moving behind you and gently gathers the top half of your hair, letting some parts fall to frame face before he secures it with the tie and hides it with the clip "...pin half of it up, that way I can see your pretty face much easier” he kisses your cheek before spinning you around you around, admiring his work as he fixes the front pieces “Perfection” he says to himself with pride

“Siri?” 

“Yeah? Oh…is it too tight?” his movements stop, resting gently at the base of your jaw

“No, it’s perfect” you smile, glowing under his care “It’s just you probably should have done that after I put my clothes on” 

Sirius laughs as he realises, then shrugs “Ahh well if it falls out I’ll do it again, here I’ll help ya” he moves around you, holding the collar of the top and helping guide it down, avoiding the clip to protect his masterful work

“Hey that worked” you extend the first word, hand going up to check your hair was still in place

“Hey now, my plans always work! Maybe not always as intended but they al…wait no there was that time with Filch's cat…but that was an accident so it doesn’t count” he argues to himself

“Tell that to the cat! Poor girl was bald for months!” you try to counter but end up having to cover your mouth a little as you can't help the giggles 

“Her fur grew back” he hands you some bottoms “Besides, you were the one that mixed the potion darling so if we are casting blame here…” he trails off as does his eyes but you don’t notice that part just yet

“Siri, you…he’s gone isn't he” you say to yourself, shifting your weight from side to side as he admires you shamelessly “Siri” you gently hit him with the fabric in you hands

“Sorry darlin” he scratches the back of his head “Thighs” he shrugs like it was the most forgivable answer in the world

“You’re silly” you giggle before turning around, deciding to hiking up your jumper a little and give him a little show as you slide into your bottoms 

“I love you” he says simply, leaning against the wardrobe beside him as he admires your extra wiggles that are only for his benefit and his heart swells a little with pride as he’s helped you to momentarily forget your worries

When you turn around you find him wearing your favourite smile. The one reserved only for you, both now as two silly adults, and back when you were silly teenagers. You both should have realised far sooner your affections and feelings were more than what they were, but in the end both of you were always happy with the way your story planned out. You both needed that time to become the people you were now, to grow, to become this. 

“I love you more” you challenge sweetly

“Not possible…” he moves closer, finding your hips as he slides his fingers up and under your jumper “...and if you say one more word we really will be late as we won’t be going at all” his fingers find the loops of your trousers, tucking you flush against him

You squeal a little “Fine…you win for now cause we don’t have time…well” you nod your head back and forth considering it before turning back to Sirius “…no no we don’t have time” you shake your thoughts away, causing the man before you to chuckle

Sirius helps you finish off your outfit, picking out some boots that just so happened to be one's your boyfriend was partial to, ones with some lift that he says makes you easier to kiss and your arse look even better, but really he loves them because when you take them off later tonight he gets to pat your head and tease you about being a little shorty. You grab a belt that matches your shoes, along with some other bits of jewellery, particularly the necklace Sirius had gifted you for your birthday after seeing your reaction to it in a vintage store a few months prior. The same gift that led to your first kiss all those months ago, there wasn’t a day you hadn’t worn it since.

Just as you’re admiring the locket Sirius wraps the exact jacket you were thinking of around your shoulders, but before you can say anything he just winks “Can’t reveal all my secrets darling, need to keep up that sexy mystery you fell in love with”

You just give him a small look though the mounted mirror but all he returns with is a pity pout and you concede “You are very sexy and mysterious love” 

He smirks then, all proud of himself that his puppy eyes still work, but as you move to the floor length mirror near the door of your room to check the rest of yourself he stop you

“Nope” he steps in front, obscuring your view of the mirror

“Why?” you tilt your head, confused

“Do you trust me?” he asks

“Always” 

He takes a moment to smile at the ease of your answer before guiding you out of the bedroom “Then come on we’re gonna try something, a little experiment if you will”

You allow him to lead you towards the front door, watching him quietly as he gathers your things, placing them into the bag you had chosen before slipping it onto your frame and fixing the collar of your jacket 

“How do you feel right now in this moment?” he wonders, reaching out to intertwine your hands

“I feel…good” you answer honestly, you felt nice, you had only seen your hair and makeup, things that you could control and for the first time in a while you felt at peace leaving your apartment “I also feel pretty when you look at me like that” you add shyly under his gaze as you watch his eyes slowly drink in your appearance

“Good” he nods “Because you are, ya know, you are so beautiful” he says the words slowly, making sure you know he means them completely before he leans down, placing a soft lingering kiss to your lips “Now, lets go and watch our friends fail miserable at karaoke” he breaks away, smiling at your attempt to chase his lips before he turns away

“Sirius” you come to a slow stop

“Yeah?” he turns back, the softest most natural smile adoring his face

“Thank you, for everything” 

His eyelashes kiss his cheeks. He doesn’t reply, instead he thanks you with a kiss to your cheek…and then one to the other…then your nose...and lips...and well safe to say you were a little late in the end after all

Thank you for reading ♡

“Thank you?” he over exaggerates in faux awe, hand finding his chest, fingertips gently grazing his jersey “No… ” he shakes his head “... there’s no way our resident deatheater over here is thanking lil' old me for helping her” he coats it on annoyingly thick, egging you on as he always did

“Last time I thank you… for… what was that?” you attempt to rebuke but the sound of something ripping takes your attention away, gaze turning upward “Shit” your eyes blow wide at huge dip in the canopy above you, small drips of water already slipping through the beginnings of a tear

As you stand Sirius’ seems confused before his eyes follow your own, catching on quickly “Crap” he mutters, sliding off the chest “Come on!” he shouts, pulling you with haste towards the wall, shielding you from the impending cascade

… except it never comes.

Instead, you and he are held up against the wall. You peek with one eye to check what's happening, meeting Sirius doing the same, one hand flush against the wall behind you while the other is wrapped around your waist

You wrangle out of his grasp as you both realise the old awnings still got some life in her “Thank merlin you didn’t overreact” you tease him “Come on!” you mock, turning away for a moment and noticing the small trail of water from the edge of the tower and canopy beside you

His tongue pokes his inner cheek, head leaning against the wall before he pushes himself off, turning to face you “Oh fuck off” he tuts “We both thought it was gonna go...if anything you should be thanking me!” he lets out an exasperated breath, arms folding as his back finds the wall

“Thank you?” you look at him astonished, you couldn’t believe the nerve this boy had on him, though it did make splashing him with some of the dripping water less guilt worthy “Why the hell would I thank you?” you flick water at him again

“Oi!” he flinches, taken aback “What the--” he barely gets a word in as you continue

“I’m the one stuck here cleaning your mess!” you shout, flicking him a couple more times before backing down, taking pleasure in his pretty curls deflating into a drenched, frizzy state

“You better cut that out right…wait, my mess!” he lets out an annoyed ‘huh’ as your words finally register “I’m the one with the broken broom and detention for a month! Not to mention I’m missing my bloody victory party” he gestures towards the now hazy castle, obscured thanks to the relentless showers around you

“Well, if you had any real skill it wouldn’t have broken now, would it?!” you scrunch your nose at him, but your argument falls on deaf ears as his head begins to shake a little, trying to remove the strands of hair that have stuck to his face thanks to your watery combat “Plus it’s not like you wouldn’t already have detention… are… Sirius? Are you even listening to me? Black!!” you try to regain his attention but it remains solely on his hair “Oh for fucks sake” you grow tired of his failed attempts, swatting his hands away, gently pulling back the soaked pieces and tucking them behind his ears before stepping back “Better?” you ask crispy

“Yes. Much” he responds, falling in tune with your anger again “Ready whenever you are darling” his arms widen in a half bow, welcoming your attempts 

You stare at him “I…” you start before begging your brain to come up with some kind of clever quip “You're... umm… fuck” you whisper the last bit as you draw a blank, growing increasingly frustrated, more so as he realises that for the first time, you might just be stumped 

“Holy shit, you’ve got nothing” the smirk that grows on his, punchable, pretty, face is maddening “Oh you have no idea how happy I am right now”

“I… ugh… oh fuck you Black” you grab the nearest object, a forgotten wet scarf, and hurl it at him “Least I wasn’t disowned” even you know it’s a low blow, but as the man said, you really didn’t have anything

He manages to avoid it though, the wet fabric barely grazing his shoulder as he ducks “You're really clutching at straws now love” he half laughs at you “Hey!” he points as you chuck something else, taking a stride towards you after it misses as well

“Just admit it darling, you’ve lost!”

“As if!” you defend "I never have and never will lose to you!" you throw what can only be described as a half a decorative lion mane at him

He dodges once again, his eye wide your sheer determinism “Merlin, you’re so petty”

“I am not petty! you’re petty!” you scoff, moving towards him as well as you’ve ran out of safe objects to throw at him “Ugh, I could punch you right now” your fists ball, jerking at your sides as you attempt to control your rage

“Then why haven’t you!” he questions “Not like you haven’t got rough on the field before!” he waves his hands in the air, recalling the time you whacked him the face with your broom as you flew by him

“Because your face is pretty, and I rather like looking at it while I argue!” you admit, anger still in full swing

So is Sirius’ as he argues back “Yeah? Well I happen to think yours is rather cute when you’re all riled up at me!”

“Thank you!” 

“I mean it!”

“Good!” 

“Good!”

You’re faces are dangerously close now, and as your altercation falls into silence, your hard expressions soften for a moment, small half smiles and laughs escaping as the words shouted between you sink in

You thought he was pretty

And he thought you were cute

You and Sirius had always been known for your little battles, but you and he were in foreign territory now. Never before had one lasted so long, gotten you this fired up. Normally first years would run away and seniors would grab popcorn when you and he were in the same room, however without the screening eyes of your peers or authoritative figures something else was building, something new. No longer was it going to end with who got the biggest cheer, or last insult in before the professors broke you up, no, the game had changed now, and you both knew it

Your face hardens, the anger fading but the passion of the fight remains “You know you’d still have your precious broom if you’d accepted your loss” you start of soft, eyes looking deep into his, asking him if you want to walk this line with you

A smile quirks at the corner of his “Loss, darlin? Oh no we won…” his face darken back into it and you take that as a yes “...I think you need to get that pretty head of yours checked”

“We had it until you pulled what was quite frankly the most illegal fucking move in all of quidditch, and if you had been anything other than a perfect little lion this would be a completely different conversation!” you scoff “I can’t believe you call that a win, you bloody cheat!” you’re poking the bear now, pride overcoming you as you watch his eyes flare at the last word 

“Don’t you dare call me that… take that back right now” he takes the smallest step forward, your chests brushing “What I did out there was blimmin' brilliant and you know it!” he leans even closer “You’re just jealous you weren't smart enough to think of it first!”

“Jealous! Why the hell would be jealous of a cheat, cheat, cheat-itie, cheater?” you near bounce at each little quip, merlin were you having fun

He breathes out through his nose, warm air tickles your lips “I am not… ” he stops himself, almost like he’s fighting an internal battle “I’m… ugh” letting out a groan as he turns, stepping in a small circle as he backtracks “I wouldn’t have to pull some cheaty moves if you lot played fair for once” he backtracks, pointing at you, his breathing heavy now “Fricking snakes, the lot of ya” 

“For once?” you huff, slapping his finger away before flicking water in his face again, but this time it’s far more strategic “Thats a good one Mr Marauder” you flaunt your hands mockingly before do it again “Unlike you… Us. Snakes. Have. Standards!” you'll even admit you go a little overboard with the water this time, splashing him between every word before catching some in cupped hands and pouring it over him

He shakes his head like a dog after you finish “Stop!” he warns but it feels more like a challenge, now it’s his turn to ask you with his eyes; did you really want to step over this line? Enter this new world with him?

“Make me” you jeer, tone lower than normal as you accept his unspoken offer, hand sweeping through the water again 

This time however he catches your wrist, holding it in place, before retraining the other one as well, knowing you too well to leave himself unguarded on one front

“Do that one more time and you’ll regret it...”  he’s unbelievably close now "...darling"

“Or what, bloodtraitor” you hold his gaze, enticing him

Whatever it was that was building between the two of you was coming to its apex, and you’re both acutely aware of it. But it’s where, you suppose, this dangerous little dance of yours had always been leading

He leans in closer, letting your hand fall from his grasp, chests breathing in unison as his eyes refuse to leave yours for even a second “I think you know, little deatheater” a smirk threatens to play at his lips, godric was he loving this new frontier

And salzar, were you too, eyes unable to help stealing glancing at his lips then back to him “I do” you admit, bringing your lips up, letting them hover dangerously close to his own but as he smirks, taking this as his win, loving to close the gap, you retreat, whispering a flirty “Gotcha ya Siri” before stepping back, a playful smile on your face

His face is a picture, mouth agape, a light tinge of pink sprinkling his cheeks but within his shocked expression lies amusement, along with realisation that he lost your little game most spectacularly fashion

“You little minx” he breathes out quietly, tongue pushing his cheek out as he hangs his head, you had got him fair and square, and the boy couldn’t even be mad

“Yes!” you punch the air, beginning to laugh lightly, you don’t even try to come up with a witty remark as you celebrate, because you just bet the sirius black, prankster, playboy, at his own game

He raises his head after a few seconds to see you all proud of yourself, yet your pride is different than normal, if anything he swears it’s more genuine. He’s ready to accept defeat, to let you win, but he’s not ready to let you get away without finishing what you both just started, but just as he’s about to step forward it seems the canopy has finally given up, the fabric above you gives way, splitting in one foul swoop and releases a freezing torrent upon you

“What the…”

Your eyes are wide, mouth fallen open as you gasp loudly, feeling the cold water creep into each layer of your clothing, frozen in place as you look up at Sirius who remains dry, narrowly avoiding the same fate. He looks almost in as much shock, eyes looking up at the rather wide hole, then back towards you

Meeting his eyes, you finally let your smile break free “Shit!” you pout for a second “I just lost didn’t I?” you shout over the pitter patter, losing yourself in laughter as the rain pours around you

Sirius watches the scene with a similar smile, you had always been a wonder to him, this force of nature that drove him crazy, but in this moment all he felt was peace, and he was happy to lose, just this once with you

“Nah” he chuckles, letting the rain engulf him as he approaches, your laughter soothing as his finger hooks under your chin, bringing your gaze to his “We both lost” he tells you before guiding your lips upwards towards his, pausing just before they touch in tortuous bliss

The rain is a stark contrast to the moment, it’s unlike anything either of you have shared before, it’s quiet, soft, like you were old lovers finally finding one another again in another life. 

“Don’t you dare pull away” he whispers, lips tickling yours, hot breath warming you despite your numbing limbs

His fingers slide along your jaw slowly, becoming flush before floating upwards carding through the wisps of soaked hair framing your face. His eyes follow, flitting over your face, eyes filled with the kind of admiration one could only dream of and it’s exciting, new, the beginning of a long time coming

“Never again” you promise

He nudges his nose against your own before closing the gap, lips parting as they meet. It’s slow, meaningful, there’s no battle for control, just two souls hungry for one another after being starved for far too long. And it’s intoxicating, your hands finding his cotton of his jersey at his chest, the wet fabric forgotten as you pull him impossibly closer. Sirius feels drunk on your lips, the rements of your lipstick on his tongue as it slips through, hands wandering down to your hips, moving the fabric of your jumper upwards to reveal the skin underneath, eliciting a soft moan from your lips and causing the kiss to finally break

Both your chests heave as Sirius guides you backwards towards the wall and shelter again, turning you around last minute so your flush against it, hands very much still on your hips, thumbs pressing into the skin in soothing circles

“You know…” you catch your breath “...maybe losing isn’t so bad” you admit, throat tickling with light laughter

He joins you “It isn’t…” he agrees, one hand sliding out from below to cup the sweet plush of your cheek, bringing your eyes to his grey ones, heartwarming as you lean into his touch “...but only when it’s with you”

After that, every snide remark that was fired across the battlefield between you was now coated with something more intimate, perhaps they’d always been, but it would always be the kind of strange endearment only you and he could ever understand

My “Little deatheater”  

My “Bloodtraitor”

Thank you for reading ♡

He doesn’t get far though, someone trips him up from behind, sending him crashing to the floor. Luckily his hands catch him just in time, but the sting in his knees and wrists from the impact do nothing for his already achy bones. 

He groans, wincing as he looks up to see a two people he knew too well, and not for the better 

“Some marauder you are” the girl scoffs “Nothing without your little friends”

“Even the fat one has thicker skin” the boy cackles at his own cruelty and Remus’ blood boils, yet he can’t find it in him to get up, fight back…not that he ever did

“What’s wrong scar face?” the girl mocks him, bending at the hip in order to belittle him further

“Just leave me alone” he closes his eyes for a second, his tone of someone clearly exhausted, dare say broken from the bullying that has been inflicted upon him for 7 years

“And why would we do that? You know for a bookworm you should love the poetic nature of a bully getting bullied” she lets out a laugh at the end

Remus finally pulls himself up, standing shaily as he replies “I’m not a bully” he says firmly, out of his friends the only bullies were Sirius and James, yet even they now had calmed and matured significantly

The girl crosses her arms, looking skeptical while the boy notices him looking backwards “Who are you looking for?” he asks but then his face lights up in a sinister like recognision “Ah. That little snake of a girlfriend” 

Remus jaw clenches at the emphasis “Don’t bring her into this” 

The girl laughs “Oh we won’t. Her dating you is a great joke in itself”

“Merlin every time I’ve seen you together she’s asleep”

“Bore her much?” 

“Or maybe she pretends to sleep so she doesn’t have to look at that face” 

They take turns at their insults, a quick fire of every insecurity he possesses, hitting him again and again, and it takes its toll

“Aww is the freak getting upset” the boy pouts at him

“Shut up” he begs them

“You’re pathetic Lupin, worthless” her words are cruel but her tone his crueller, so harsh Remus can feel it cutting into his heart “A joke of man by how much of a pale…” she stabs his chest with her finger “...sickly…” and again “...monster…” once more “...you are”

Monster 

The last one cuts him deep, like they knew what he was. Really they just meant his appearance but still it hurt more than anything

“She’s a pretty thing ya know. That girl of yours” the boy states, taking a step towards him “Maybe I’ll take a crack at her once she comes to her scenes. Silly girl clearly, but purebloods stick together…besides sillier girls are easier to tame” he says the last part lowly, stepping past him and going on his miserable sod of a way

“Freak” the girl butts her shoulder into him as she passes by as well leaving Remus alone

He should have stood up for himself, punched the guy for his words, merlin he should kill him for what he said about you. But he didn’t, his fists softened, the tears fell, and he found himself leaning against the bookcases, head tilted upwards as he tried his best not to completely break down

Pathetic. Worthless. Freak.

You would come look for him once you’d woken up, which would be soon since you were funny like that. Even in your sleep you could sense his prolonged absence. 

Monster.

Wiping his tears, he readies himself to pass off the hurt for pre-moon pain. He never thought you low enough to leave him for being weak, yet he would never let you know what just happened, what had been happening since they laid eyes on him in first year

Thankfully when he returns to his spot you’re still asleep. Sitting beside you again, he shrugs off his robes and pulls off his jumper, covering you with the first and placing the second under your head as a pillow

“Thank you Rem” you murmur, arm lazily coming down to hug his thigh, pulling it flush against yours

He felt instantly better at that, the pain from his exchange would remain, the insecurities he already had for himself and from them would linger on, but his heart knew they were just that, insecurities, they weren’t the truth. Besides, in a month he would graduate, he’d never need to see them again, and he’ll get to spend the rest of his life with you

“Anything for you bunny”

You were angry, beyond angry actually, you were damn near furious. It had been a week since you’d woken up and overheard your boyfriends bullies in the library, one week you had been gathering information on the two so you could destroy them at the right moment 

And that moment was right now

“Hey!” you shout, startling more than one person, terrifying everyone in that corridor with just one glare

The sleepy girl in class had finally woken up on the wrong side of the bed, the girl who was inherently ‘not slytherin’ would destroy that title in threefold today

“Yeah I’m talking to you two” your eyes narrow in on them while the other students around you relax a little, they weren’t in your sights yet they still stepped back

Your shouts draw the attention of the marauders as well, all glancing up the hall to see what's going on, noting the large crowd

“Wonder what's happening” Peter says, sadly a little too short to see anything

“Probably some girl who caught her partner cheating” Sirius shakes his head with a small laugh “Y’all coming to watch” his face morphs into a smirk, his love of drama entertaining to his friends

“I’m good man enjoy” Remus says with a laugh, bidding Sirius goodbye as he stands with Peter, watching James climb up on a nearby window

“Watch yourself” Peter warns, hands moving to upwards to catch James if he fell

Remus was chuckling at his James’ laziness when he saw his eyes widen, before literally cleaning his glasses to check he was seeing it right. 

Suddenly he jumps down, grabbing Remus by his cardigan and Peter by the wrist

“Prongs what the-” Remus is cut off

“It’s your girl” is all he says letting go of the boys but gently rubs Peters wrist to say sorry if he hurt it

“What?” Remus forcefully stops in his tracks, looking at James wide eyed

“It’s your girl” James points to the crowd, hithering for him to follow

“My girl” Remus looks at the crowd then James “My girl” it dawns on him, following swiftly

Meanwhile the girl and boy whose names you couldn’t give a lesser fuck about were finally bring their attention to you

“What do you what?” the girl glares at you but you see right through it, her eyes give away her fear and in all honesty you’d be scared of you right now too

Sirius arrived just then, mouth dropping in shock and backing up to go get the others when James wraps his arm around him and Remus and Peter appear on his other side. 

Remus felt sick as he saw who you were in a confrontation with, wondering how you knew or if this was all some coincidence, but really, he knew the answer

“Leave him alone” you say scarily calm, a stark contrast to the rage within and your earlier shout 

“Or what? What are you going to do about it sweetheart?” the boy steps forward

He was a little taller than you, and clearly trying to use that to intimidate you whilst simultaneously eying you like a piece of meat. You knew who he was, another arrogant rich pureblood whose name meant everything in his eyes but nothing in the real world. 

You hadn’t seen your boyfriend or friends, all you could see was red and the two arses who dared hurt the sweetest man who ever lived. But if you had seen them, you would have saw James grabbing Sirius’ hand to stop him from punching the boy, while Peter does something similar for your boyfriend

“You know, my father knows your father” you start, watching the confusion take over his face but a few other slytherins including a younger brother of one of the marauders knew where this was going and grinned subtly “Prissy little fellow, strange isn’t it?” you ask almost rhetorically, almost, because you know the idiot will answer 

You stepped towards him then, looking up at him with no fear, and, if anything, amusement

“What's strange?” he plays right into your trap

“Well your mother and father are quite small, even your grandparents are rather short, whole family actually…strange that you’re so tall is all” you muse earning sniggers from the crowd and the boys face falters “But alas your heritage isn’t my point” you smirk, glancing at the girl who looks like she's getting ready to run before your quiet calculated wrath turns towards her

“And your point?” his face hardens again, the fury in his eyes already marking your victory

“My father’s your boss” you state then seei the pure shock on his face “Didn’t know that huh?” you say teasingly

“Even if your father is his boss he can’t fire him based off you running to daddy over some narrative you’ve got in your pretty little head about your boyfriend” he tries to mock back, gain laughter on his side but there's a dead silence, almost uncomfortable as everyone can feel the second hand embarrassment

Your smirk grows

“Oh mister asswipe” that gains laughs and a cackle you recognise as Sirius’ “Can I call you asswipe?”

“N-”

“Good” you shut him up “Well mister asswipe, and little miss asswipe, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you dearie” you throw her a wink and that finally sends her running off, abandoning her ‘friend’ and you giggle “Looks like miss asswipe left the building” you shrug 

Remus watches you amazed, seeing his girlfriend put his and so many others bullies in place was satisfying, almost empowering, to watch…although it also reminded him to never, ever, piss you off

“Your girl is fucking awesome” Sirius whispers, shaking his head and loving every second of this

“She's so cool” Peter smiles

“Chose well mate” James lifts his hand from Sirius’ shoulder and pats Remus’ back

Remus can barely splutter a 'thanks' back as he listens to the boy scoff

“Avoiding my question with a misdirect? Amateur y/l/n” he rolls his eyes, earning boos from the crowd that you would later find out was started by Sirius and James

“If anyone's an amateur it’s your father. Let’s face it he’s only got a job at the Ministry because he’s rich and pure blooded, and while my family may also possess those traits we have something your inbred one could never have”

“And what is that?” 

“Respect, love...oh and class of course” you say simply “So, how would it affect your fathers already unsteady reputation when 3 to 4 dozen students come forward tomorrow with their statements of how you, and your little friend, have been bullying them for the last 7 years” you pose with a wicked grin, 'ohhh's' coming from the crowd around you and a 'damn' from who you can only assume was James

“I-ugh” he panics looking around the room and is met with no sympathy

“You see if there’s one thing even the purist of fuckers and the mugglest of muggleborns can agree on is what a piece of shit looks like and you, Mr Asswipe, are that…” you stab his chest exactly like the girl did last week “…piece…” again “…of…” and again “…shit” 

The boy looked mortified and down right terrified, clearly hoping that situation was hypothetical but judging by your dementor and satified smirk, his reputation really would be going down the toilet tomorrow 

Your smile dropped to a glare, ready to seal your final threat when you glanced briefly to the side, doubling back as you see Remus and your face softens immediately. He looked somewhere between shocked and impressed, but above all relieved, gifting you a funny looking yet grateful smile

You give him a quick one back before returning to the boy in front, face hardening to a menacing look once more “If you ever bully anyone again I will end you, but if you or your little friend dare come near my guy again, so much as breathe the wrong air around him I will do so much worse. So. much. worse” you say the last bit slower and lower, puting the fear of Salazar into the boy, who’s name we care not about "No one messes with my guy"

You point at him, trying not to laugh at fear on his face nor him literally shaking in his so last season boots

“Understood?” he nods quickly “Sorry princess, couldn’t hear you”

“U-understood”

“Good” he doesn’t move “You can leave now” and he does, quickly, like a penquin with his arse on fire, meanwhile the crowd claps

You give them a smile, seeing a couple professors pretending like they saw nothing in the corner of your eye, both wearing smirks. 

Your main focus went to Remus, walking right up to him but you’re cut off by his friends

“Teach us” James gets down on knees as does Sirius both bowing their heads like you were a god

“If moony says no to marriage I’m here darling” Sirius adds earning a smack in the back of his head by Remus 

“She’s my girl” his words and voice so soft yet so firm

“Sorry Siri” you shrug, throwing him a wink before taking your boyfriends hand and leading him away, leaving James and Sirius chucking while Peter gives you a rather adorable wave goodbye

There aren’t many words spoken on the way to his dorm, only the password to the portrait and a ‘you first’, both said by Remus in a whisper

“Are there actually people coming forward tomorrow?” He wonders, closing the door behind you

You giggle “Yup” you pop the p “He’s never gonna bother you or anyone again”

“How-” he’s cut off by you taking his hands and leading him towards the bed

“You remember last week at our study session?” You ask, dropping your hand from his and beginning to undo his tie

He nods “you heard them?” he asks, heart rate picking up at both the conversation and your soft movements 

You slide off his tie, pads of your fingers pressing tenderly into his shirt as you push off his cardigan “I did” you admit, placing his tie and cardigan on a nearby chair

“Why didn’t you mention it?” He’s whispering now, breathless at the simple movements done with so much care 

You begin unbuttoning his shirt, placing a sweet kiss on the new skin exposed with each one undone 

“You didn’t want me to know” you say simply between kisses “So I plotted how to destroyed them”

He chuckles at that 

“You succeeded there Bunny” he lets out a smile, a weight lifted for the first time in a long while

You continue to kiss down his chest to his stomach and Remus’ eyes flutter with each one

You untuck his shirt “You think I went a little far?” you meet his eyes, you felt no sympathy or guilt for what you did but you needed to know he felt it just

“Best thing I’ve ever seen” he wasn’t lying, seeing his girl humiliate his bullies was a little hot, he had no idea how much of a spitfire you could be when you wanted to

You smile, leaning in to kiss his nose “I thoroughly enjoyed it” your fingers run up his chest, gently playing with his dusting of hair as you do before you push off his shirt and place it with his other clothing

Remus takes over when you fingers move to your own tie “let me” he kisses your temple, nudging his nose deeper into your hair afterwards as he can’t express his gratitude through words

He takes off your emerald tie, placing it neatly with his own. He kisses your nose, adoring the scrunch and giggle while his hands find the hem of your jumper. Your hands go up without instruction, this dance had been done multiple times before, yet neither of you grew bored of it

His fingers find your buttons, copying your own movements and kissing as he goes. His fingers tickle your skin as he untucks it, and he catches it when you let it fall from your shoulders. 

“Pretty bunny” he compliments, now sitting up on his knees and kissing just below your belly button

“Pretty wolf” you return, seeing the inner conflict in his eyes at it

You encourage him to stand up and he takes your extended hands which help him to his feet. You then unbuckle his belt and unzip his trousers, pushing them down just a little and letting them fall to his ankles before taking his hands again, needlessly but sweetly helping him step out of them

Left in his boxers Remus’ fingers hook around the band of your skirt, gently pulling it over your hips before allowing it to fall to the floor. He then moves you towards the bed, tugging your tights down to your thighs

“Sit down bunny” he gently asks, chuckling as you do sit but let your body fall back onto the bed, lifting your legs for him

He glides the tights off, placing them with your skirt while you sit up

“Is my night shirt still here?” you sit up, already unclasping your bra

He nods, grinning to himself as he goes to his dresser and catches a glimpse of you as he does. 

Grabbing the shirt he turns back to find you have already gotten under the covers, sitting with your knees bent, arms lazily wrapped around them with a thin sheet covering yourself, back on full display for him

“Come here big guy” you tap the bed next to you

His face light up, cheeks raising as he climbs in next to you “Here Bunny” he holds out the shirt only for you to gently push his hand back

His eyebrows knit for all of two seconds before the raise, face flustering as the covers drop and you turn around, leg lifting up and over as you straddle him

You take the shirt from his now loose hand, while his eyes flick from your chest to your face but mostly to your chest until the shirt slides over them

“You’re killing me” he tells you, hands sliding up your bare thighs slowly 

“I know” you say, pressing your lips together as you smile

“Cruel temptress” his hands find their way under your shirt, resting on your hips, thumbs caressing where your band of your underwear meets your bare thigh, tucking themselves into the crevice 

You bite your lip, eyes trailing down his chest to the pudge of his stomach, loving the squish from his seated position 

“Maybe…or perhaps you’re just so beautiful I can’t help myself” you say, causing his already dusted cheeks to kiss his eyelashes 

“You really think so?” He asks, like he has too many times before but you still treat it like the first time

Cupping his cheeks you whisper “I know so” yet this time you have more to add “you aren’t pathetic nor are you worthless. You have more in that heart of yours than they could have in a hundred lifetimes. You are more than what you turn into once a month and the scars you have from them” you kiss the old wound on his nose “They are beautiful, they aren’t a reminder of a monster they’re a reminder of the brave…brave man in front of me” you peck his lips as you speak, unable to resist “You’re not a monster or a freak. You’re Remus, the man as pretty as the thing you’re named after”

His grip on your hips tightens slightly, bringing you that little bit closer as he leans his forehead on yours for a few seconds before pulling back, eyes a little glassy

“I adore you” is all he says, no denial of his beauty, no argument that he was indeed a monster, no, none of that this time

You smile “I adore me too” you quip, yelping a little as he nips your sides “Meany” you giggle before one hand drifts up and pulls you in for a kiss

Sadly, you pull away early, much to his, and your, disappointment but you can’t let it go unsaid

“I love you”

He didn’t need the confirmation, everything you just said, did and were doing for him confirmed your love. 

Still, hearing those words completed him

“Say it again” 

“I love you” you repeat, chewing on your lip as his hand moves back to your hips to pull you impossibly closer

“One more” he whispers, leaning in, lips brushing

“I love you Remus lupin” your lips tickle his, both smiling before your lips meet again

Your hand finds his chest, palms flat against it, while his move up and down your waist. Lips moving in sync while your bodies try to move closer, merge as one. His tongue sliding out and over your lips, diving in when you grant permission

“Hey you’ll never…oh hello”

You and Remus jump at the noise, lips disconnecting with a small trail of saliva as you turn your head to see James and Sirius at the door, the former with Peter asleep in his arms as a rat and the latter with food from the kitchens 

Remus’ hand lowered your shirt the moment the door clicked open, hands resting on your bum to ensure it was covered. While you wipe your now plumb lips with a shy smile on your face

Sirius was smiling while James raised an eyebrow “You two doing it right now or is this still the lead up?” He wonders motioning 

You giggle, tucking your head into the crook of Remus’ neck while he answers “Out” he points 

Sirius chuckles, turning to James “Told ya he’d get turned on by…”

“Pads” Remus scolds, cheeks heating up so fast you can feel it creeping up his neck

“What?” Sirius shrugs while James pushes him out of the room mouthing ‘sorry’ although that was mostly for you when you peak out at them

The moment the door shuts again you and Remus start laughing, especially at the muffled “be safe” from Sirius 

“So” Remus starts once the laughter dies down

“So” you tug your bottom lip between your teeth, hands finding his and playing with them

“What do you want to do?” He asks, although he’s pretty sure he knows the answer

“You know what” you grin at him

He lets out a chuckle “Come on then” you both wiggle down on the bed until his head meets the pillow

You smile to yourself, shifting your weight to one side and lowering yourself to lay beside him. Remus reaches down and grabs the covers, pulling them up until your shoulder, as your head moves to lay in the crook of his shoulder

“I love you rem” you kiss the side of his chest, leg and hand moving around him

“Love you too bunny” he kisses your hair, arms wrapping securely around you “sweet dreams”

“Sweet dreams” you murmur, somehow already falling asleep

Remus just smiles down at you, not one hour ago you had the entire school afraid and in shock, while now it was like none of that ever happened and you were his sleepy bunny again…and he was your guy, your wolf…

Your moon

Thank you for reading 💛 (a/n: hope someone got the doctor who reference in there)

His lips tug gently, an act most would miss but not you. He writes on his own parchment, because it’s true, and in my defence I said cute yesterday, he holds it up briefly, long enough for only you to read and not even Barty notices, although the boy wouldn’t really mind anyway, just give your boyfriend a good teasing for it

He revels in your reaction, that smile that you always wore just that little bit brighter when he was around, he gives you a little nod before returning to watch Barty and you go back to your drawings  

Around 10 minutes pass and you were just beginning to sketch the constellation Regulus lies in when a little flower lands on your desk

Picking it up you unfold the little flap that says, open me, doing as it says you smile at the words, still on for our date little bird?

You look over, noticing Barty’s flowers are terrible compared to this one and you nod ‘Just need to grab the map first’ you mouth to him and he nods

Soon enough class was over and as you walked out Regulus gently brushed his hands with yours, whispering a soft ‘see you at your spot’. You watched him walk off with Barty, Evan and Pandora with the biggest smile, your relationship wasn’t exactly secret, his friends knew, and Lily knew being the one to cover for you in your dorm, but really you kept your relationship on the down low so your fellow marauders wouldn’t find out

You were two years younger than the boys but being Remus’ childhood friend, you were pretty much welcomed in the moment you got on the train in first year. In their fifth and your third they became animagus with you doing the same the following year…and yes it took entire year of you, James, Sirius and Peter begging for Remus to finally cave and let you do it too. Earning the nickname ‘chirp’ when you succeeded, not only from your form but because you were always upbeat and happy

Of course, they hated Slytherins, well, James and Sirius did with a passion while Peter and Remus were just wary of them. You didn’t mind them, sure there were Slytherins you wanted to punch and in fact had done as such back in second year, but most were actually pretty nice when the Lastrange’s of the world weren’t watching

“Prongs!” you call out as you see him passing, waving to him from afar

His head scoots up at the call, looking around until he spots you. A grin grows on his face, turning back to say goodbye to Marlene before jogging up to you

“Hey haven’t seen you all day” he throws his arm around you, pulling you roughly into him and making you giggle 

“Nice to see you too”

“So, what did you just escape from?” he asks, his arm more relaxed as you both walk aimlessly down the corridor

“Charms” you inform, leaning your head into him

You were closest with Remus but after he and Sirius began dating, you and James bonded more whilst they were being all couple-y. Peter was there too but he usually changed into a rat and went a nap in order to escape their pda. Which was something James couldn’t inconspicuously do, although, you and he did manage to convinced everyone you were his pet bird for a month last year…and may have helped him cheat just a bit on some tests and steal a bunch of stuff from the class storerooms

“Godric with the substitute?” you nod “How did you survive?” he wonders rather dramatically “No but really, how? Teach me your ways dear birdy” he uncouples himself and bows before you

“You’re silly” 

“I know” he takes it like a compliment as he should, returning to his previous position

“I just doodled and listened pans as she explained her latest experiment” 

He nods “Fair enough, although…” you keep your smile but you know that although “…just watch out with Pandora, she’s a little weird and that’s fine but she’s friendly with Slytherins alright?” he says it softly, like he’s trying to protect you

You give him a little nod “Sure thing Prongs” you say, not wishing to ruin the moment nor your chances of why you sought him out “Say” you stop walking “You mind if I borrow the map for a couple hours?” you ask sweetly

He nods right away, moving to get it out of his satchel “Hear ya go” he hands it over with a smile

“Thanks Prongs” you slip it into your own bag “I need to go but I’ll see you later in the common room?”

“Yeah see you then” he gives you a wink and smile, waiting until you walk off before it drops and he digs into his bag again to retrieve a certain cloak

James felt guilty following you, so much he almost turned back as well. Almost. He just had a funny feeling you were keeping something from him and the others, he didn’t think that something was necessarily a bad something, more he was just curious as to why you needed the map so often. 

Along the way he saw you stop at a window, checking your hair and putting on some lip balm. That’s when he smirked, you were seeing someone

He and the boys were protective, they’d defend you till the say they died but they weren’t so protective they would stop any person from seeing you. Still he knew why you might keep it a secret, Remus and Sirius kept theirs quiet for quite a while as did Alice and Frank, even if everyone and their grandmother could see it coming

“Back of the library, classy” he chuckles as he follows little ways back, this area was known for secret liaisons, yet he as he followed he ended up in an area he’d never been before, which wasn’t uncommon for him since you and Remus did the schematics for it

He watched you place your books on the table, satchel hanging over the back of the chair along with your robe, looking like it was any other study session until…

“Saucy” he notes, watching as someone wraps their arms around you from behind, kissing your neck

He was about to retreat and give you some privacy but then he registers the green tie as you turned around. Pushing his glasses up he grimaced at the scene, watching you get pressed against the bookshelves by a snake of all people…and not just any snake

“Pads is gonna flip…fuck” he curses, shaking his head and quickly walking out of the library, debating all the way back of what to do with this new-found information

It was a shame he left so early, completely misinterpreting the scene as a hook-up rather than what it truly was, two people who were more than a little in love with one another meeting for their bi-weekly study date

“Sorry lovely” Regulus apologies, his thumb trailing over your now plump lips 

You shake your head lightly, not wanting to disrupt his movements “You never have to be sorry for kissing me” you can’t stop the smile from spreading on your face, not when he’s shining down at you like this 

He pecks your smile “Still” his arms gently peel you off the bookshelf, one slithering around to rub the impact mark “Didn’t mean to give you a possible bruise…in more than one area” he nudges his nose into your neck

You sigh at the small circles on your back “It’s okay, doesn’t hurt so don’t worry your pretty little head” his cheeks raise, a dusting of pink coating them at you calling him pretty

This was the Regulus few got to see, the mushy one who was a complete softy for you, his Gryffindor birdy. The one that could make him flustered beyond compare with a single word, touch or glance

“You okay there gorgeous?” you tease him just a little and he licks his lips

“Stop” he says holding back the biggest smile 

He encourages you over to sit at the table, trying to compose himself but it’s hard when your around

“Or what beautiful?” you smirk

You watch as he quickly shrugs off his robes and cardigan, dragging the chair around so he can sit beside you before he pulls you down into the adjacent seat, his movements soft while his voice is firm

“Or I’ll do more than press you against the bookshelf” he warns, hand squeezing your upper thigh before sliding down towards the knee and resting it there

You let out a little gasp at his actions, remaining quiet as you open one of the books before whispering a soft “Handsome”

He chuckles, that small bit of firmness he held fading “You swallow a thesaurus?” he wonders kissing your cheek

“No” you shy away with a pouty smile playing on your lips

“How many more do you have because you better get them out now or we’ll never get through Slughorn's essay” his hand wraps further into your inner thigh, thumbs gently sweeping across the thin fabric of your tights

“Cute, stunning, charming…” you say quickly,

“Done?” he asks sweetly, the tint in on his face darkening

“Exquisite” you kiss his cheek “Magnificent” then one to his nose causing it to scrunch oh so cutely “Wonderful” you finish with a peck to the lips “Now I’m done” you grin turning back to the books and leaving him positively flustered

“Maybe over the course of two hours would have been better” he admits and when you glance back his cheeks are crimson “Merlin you make me soft” he lets out a little laugh 

“How soft?” you ask, positively beaming at him and his state

“Like the blankets we take the astronomy tower had a baby with a cloud and…I mean…okay I really don’t know where I was going with that but you get the idea” he covers his face as you both start giggling, leaning into you as you laugh together

“You’re adorable” you add and he pretends like he got a dagger to the heart

“You can’t surprise attack me with that you cruel women…I’m a puddle now”

You really were a ray of sunshine when you returned to the common room, that was until you were greeted with no one but your friends sitting around the couches, looking like they were plotting for war

“Who pissed us off this time?” you giggle, dropping your bag off your shoulder and letting it drag as you reach the couches

They didn’t laugh. Remus and Peter looked nervous, the former rubbing Sirius’ back in a soothing motion, something he only had to do when his boyfriend was beyond upset. Your eyes flicked to James, he didn’t look as angry as Sirius but more disappointed, and somehow that was worst 

A pit started forming in your stomach

“Where were you?” Sirius asks, voice cold

“The library” you try to keep your smile, hoping maybe they’ve just had a bad day

“With?” he says shorty, pressing his lips together to spot himself saying more

“Why does this feel like an interrogation?” you swallow hard, heart thumping in your chest hoping to merlin this wasn’t happening, that maybe you fell asleep during study or this was some weird prank

Sirius sits forward “Maybe it wouldn’t if you weren’t off fucking my little brother?” he comes right out with it

You froze, feeling like all life left your body as they stare you down, the judgement in his voice, the disappointment, the rage

“I…I wasn’t” you try to speak, to explain, but James just huffs a laugh

“I saw you, y/n” that was the moment you knew they may never forgive you, he used your real name “That why you’ve been asking the map multiple times a week since we started back? Off to your little corner in the library to get pressed up against it” he accuses

You felt your face warm at the knowledge he had seen you and then the guilt spread across your face 

“Are you going to keep lying to us?” 

Sirius stares you down to the point Remus sits back, an unreadable expression on his face as he knows he can’t prevent whatever his boyfriend will say

“I’m not lying” you insist “If you had just waited…” James cuts you off

“Waited to see you fuck a snake? Ugh no thank you” he almost sings the last bit with a look of disgust 

“My brother of all people” Sirius cuts in, his voice demanding “Why…just why?”

“I love him” you answer honestly as lies wouldn’t save you, besides you were done pretending

Their expressions freeze 

Peter and Remus looking taken aback and in thought, clearly processing, James just skips everything and goes straight to an almost sympathetic disgust, and Sirius just goes straight to angry, standing up and pointing

“No” he shakes his head “You don’t” he tells you “You don’t” he repeats harder

You felt tears prick your eyes but you hold it, trying to stay strong. You were the happy one, no one had ever seen you really cry and if they did it was usually due to pain

“But I do” you say weakly but there’s a firmness to it which makes Sirius look at you with pity

His hands grip your shoulders “I grew up with him so you listen to me when I say he is incapable of love. He’s a miserable sod, a grumpy bitter guy that cannot and does not love you” he slows down so the last words sink in

You shake your head “You’re wrong…you’re…you’re wrong” you manage to get out, voice breaking and it makes the boys wince

“I’m not, I wish I was but I’m not. You can’t see him anymore, he’s just using you to get to me. He doesn’t love you y/n, you mean nothing to…”

“Stop it!” you shout, pushing him away

They flinch at your tone “Y/n” Sirius tries to reach out but you step backwards

“No!” you let the tears fall not caring anymore “I love him and he loves me. You are all just too caught up in your own ideals and hate of Slytherins to notice how good a person he is”

“He’s a purist!” James exclaims “He called Lily a mudblood in his first year”

“Yeah James in first year! When he was 11 and scared, scared because guess who was also in that corridor? Malfoy, a 6ft platinum giant with a cane up his arse that won’t quit. Merlin of course he did because what was the alternative?”

“Not doing that! I didn’t stoop that low at his age” Sirius crosses his arms

“Yeah because you gotta come back here…” you gesture to the common room “...and be praised for it. Bet it be fucking different if you had to go down the dungeons like him, sleep a mere few rooms down from someone 6 years older that would have no remorse in beating you up for it”

“You’re being silly” Sirius says, clearly not wanting to listen because if he did then he would be the bad guy here, he knew the guilt that would come from it “You’re trying to justify it because you know he’s no good”

You scrunch up your face, so disappointed in your friends “Maybe you’re no good” is all you say taking the map out of your bag and shoving it into Sirius’ chest before walking quickly up to your dorm, ignoring all of their calls

The next morning the boys headed down for breakfast, with James and Sirius facing the Slytherin table, eyes fixed on Regulus as he chatted with Barty and Evan. He hadn’t noticed the stares, nor did he know you were currently in a little ball in bed crying and would be for most of the coming days.

James was half watching while Sirius gaze was fixated on his brother, trying to figure out what his endgame was with you. His eyes only tore away when Lily and Alice entered the great hall without you

Regulus noticed too, his normal little glance to see his girlfriend’s smile was now a sad stare at the girls, a stare Sirius noticed but choice to pass off as confusion instead of clear mild concern

You had managed to drag yourself into the shower today, now wearing the charmed jumper Regulus gifted you that smelt like him, already sniffling and ready to read the saddest, most depressing book in your collection

That was until there was a noise from your window, followed by its opening and your boyfriend tumbling in, hitting the floor with a thump

“Are you okay?” you crawl to the end of the bed

“Yeah yeah I’m fine” he says groaning and definitely not okay by his wincing as he clampers over to the bed, kneeling on the ground in front of you “Are you okay?” he asks a little breathless “I’m sorry for barging quite literally in but it’s been days” 

Your heart flutters and breaks all at once, how could the people you love not see this adorable puppy dog of a man in front of you that literally almost broke all his bones flying up and into your window to check you were okay

“They know” you start to tear up again “They know Reggie” 

His eyebrows knit before the realisation hits, his face morphing to fear briefly before he stands and moves to sit on the bed next to you, engulfing you in his arms

“We’ll be fine” he assures you both “No matter what”

Your hands clutch to his robes, not caring that he is freezing from the cold morning air “I know” you nod into his chest

He gently pulls your face back, cupping it as he wipes the tears “And you know I love you right?” his own eyes are glassy, both of you knowing that things were gonna be a little bit harder from now on but you wouldn’t let them win 

“I love you too” you return it softly

He gives you a small smile before leaning in to kiss you, lips salty from your tears but neither of you care. Unfortunately, the moment is cut short when your door opens, banging against the wall as it does and making you jump apart

Regulus’ face hardens, turning off the emotions switch he had developed in order to survive

“Hands off her” Sirius points at his brother

“Love” Remus tries to pull him back, the only one seeing the scene for what it was

Sirius shrugs out of his grip “No” he stares you and Regulus down “You are going to leave and never see her again, I’m not going to let you use one of my best friends to get back at me”

“Like hell I am” Regulus wraps his arm around you, feeling you nuzzle your head into his chest, fresh tears soaking through his shirt 

“Regulus” 

“Sirius” he returns his brother's angered tone threefold “I am not leaving when she’s upset. If anyone should leave it’s you, you made her cry” 

Remus, James and Peters expressions soften at that but Sirius doesn’t let up 

“I’m not leaving until you leave”

“Fine then I guess you better get comfy” his other arm comes around, cupping the back of your head in a soothing motion before he whispers reassurances to you

“I’m…” Sirius stops himself as he watches his brothers’ actions “…Why?” is all he can say

Regulus holds you close, peering up at his brother “Why what?” he knew what he was asking, he just didn’t know how to answer it just yet

“Why her? Of all people Regulus why one of my best friends” 

“You can’t control who you fall in love with” he says, looking down at you

You raise your head, letting him plant a kiss you’re your forehead before you burying yourself back into his embrace

“You can’t love” Sirius shakes his head, tears forming “You can’t because you never loved me…you never showed any emotion after I left for Hogwarts” 

Everyone’s heart broke, the cracks in his voice, Remus having to take James’ hand to stop himself from hugging his partner while Peter rubs his back

“I do love you” Regulus’ hard expression finally breaks “I never stopped”

“Why didn’t you come with me then? When I cried, poured my heart out while I was still bleeding…you closed the door in my face” 

Regulus winces at that, you don’t have to see him to know. You kiss his chest, hugging him tighter as you knew how much he hated himself for that, how much he wanted to go back…how he had also packed a bag but by that time Sirius had already left and it was too late

“I wanted to, I was just scared” he confesses “When you got sorted into Gryffindor mum and dad were so mad they spent every waking moment conditioning me to…” he makes little bunny ears with his fingers “…not make the same mistake you did”

Sirius moves to sit at the end of your bed, signalling the other boys can stay when they attempt to back out

“They hurt me too when I asked why it was a bad thing, eventually after talking with Evan he told me that the best thing to do is to pretend. Have a switch you can turn off and just feel nothing…and for a while I did that, to the point I was just existing” 

He caresses your hair before looking back at his brother

“Then one day I was in the library and y/n came along, sitting next to me like it was nothing” he lets out a small chuckle “Talking my ear off about some kind of plant and how it was so cool…”

“It was cool” you mutter earning small chuckles from the room, James and Peter moving to sit on the bed next to yours while Remus sits behind Sirius, placing a kiss to his shoulder

“Sorry what I meant was she was telling me about this super awesome…ouch love” he groans as you pinch him “Anyway” he turns back to his brother who is watching him curiously, a lips tugging upwards as he observed yours and his interactions “After a few weeks I finally spoke back, realising she wasn’t a…ploy from you” he winces “She helped me. That switch that had been stuck off was finally on again when she’s nearby” 

You shift away from his chest, still leaning on his shoulder but you could see your friends again

He looks down at you “She helped my live again, smile again” he says, doing just that “I love her and I love you. I never meant to hurt you Siri” he turns back to his brother, seeing the surprise yet comfort the old nickname from their youth brought as it slips out

“I never wanted to hurt you either” he nods, blinking the tears from his eyes “I love you too Reg”

“Fucks sake hug!” James says sniffling with Peter tissues in their hands “Please you're killing us” he waves for them to embrace, this tissue causing him to resemble one of those mothers from period books

You and Remus giggle, moving away from your significant others to the middle of the bed. You intertwined your hand with his while he wrapped his other around you, both watching as the brothers hug for the first time in 7 years

“We always joked about being siblings but in a few years that might actually be true” Remus whispers to you

“We always were overachievers” you whisper back, giggling together while James seems to cry harder…and they call Remus the mum of the group

Thank you for reading 💛

General Masterlist

Of course, it was clear what you picked, Sirius didn’t seem all bad. Yes, he was a flirt, someone that enjoyed kissing and sex, but there was nothing wrong with that. What you had admired about him was how he defended the people he had one night stands with, looked out for them and didn’t let anyone call them rude things. He was a gentleman, a prick when it came to pranks and Slytherins, but you figured that was routed in his family, and his loyalty to James, since that boy was clearly jealous of Snape for the longest time. All of these things made you develop a crush on the boy from afar, but he had no idea who you are

You were an observer, you liked it in ways, you knew about everyone and had the privilege of seeing both sides of the coin. But alas you were lonely, your dorm mates didn’t really speak to you since you weren’t into parties like them, of course they didn’t know that you did like parties to an extent, just not when they abandoned you with strangers or forced you to get drunk saying it will ‘loosen you up’ or ‘give you more confidence’.

Over the years, despite wishing for a voice and to be ‘normal’ you realised that those people that talk all the time, really don’t have anything interesting to say, while you could say one line and floor them if you wanted. Quality over quantity, not about how much you say but what you say the really matters

“Hi”

You were pulled out of your thoughts to see Sirius smiling down at you, eyes looking directly into yours which you hold for all of two seconds before your eyes return to the table

He grins at your reaction, this is going to be fun, he thinks as he takes a seat across from you. He says quiet for a minute, judging whether you will start off the conversation or not. He quickly figures from your fiddling hands and avoidance of his eyes that you wouldn’t be speaking any time soon

“So” he extends the syllables making you look up at him with the sweetest eyes “What are we going to go over first cutie” he says a little flirty revelling in how your eyes widen at the petname

Your mouth opens and closes a few times before you grab the book in front of you and open it up “Umm” you shuffle your chair around toward him but you can’t wait drag it on the carpet so Sirius stands and lifts his to sit next to you

Your breath hitches that he’s so close “Hi” he greets you again, a grin on his face that tells you he’s amused by the little squeak that left your mouth

“Hi” you say in the quietest voice, eyes lingering on him before you gesture to the page “I was thinking we could start with some revision” you say waiting for him to speak but he’s just listening so you continue “So we can make sure the foundations good, because if the foundations iffy then your…” fucked? You can’t say fucked…what’s another word for fucked…

“Fucked” Sirius jokes making you stare at him, did you hear…did I say that out loud? “Sorry I forget not everyone likes swearing” he apologies with a chuckle, but you can tell he’s not really sorry

You open your mouth to say no you really didn’t mind but instead you return to the book “Aconite” you say rather randomly

“Aconite” Sirius repeats in a charmed tone, merlin you must have been the shyest person he’s ever met

“Yeah, we can start with that and it has other names like…” you try to add inflection to the end turning to him and awkwardly creeping your hand over the answers on the book, an action Sirius thinks is utterly adorable

“Wolfsbane and Monk…” his eyebrows knit “Monk…” he looks at you for help

“Monkshood” 

“Monkshood” he smiles at you in a way that makes your little heart jump around

You avert your eyes pulling the book towards you, flicking the page and covering the diagram, as you look back up he looks amused “Did you see it?” you cringe

He nods “I did but please continue doing that it’s so cute” he comments making your eyes go wide “So cute” he repeats smiling at you

You had never felt more flustered in your whole life, only time that rivalled it was when you were paired with Marlene and Dorca the previous year and both were flirting with you, calling you honey and sweetie pie exclusively…come to think of it you weren’t even sure they knew your real name.

After a few minutes of trying to compose yourself you pull out a bunch of cards from a small bag “These…” you pick the top one up “…will help if you like that method of learning” you say with a small smile

Sirius looks at them, taking it from you, but making sure to brush his fingers over yours, smiling as you let out another tiny hum and bite your lip

“What are these?” he asks softly, lace of confusion across his face

He’s so pretty it hurts, he’s gonna kill me isn’t he, you think then you watch him lick his lips, yup I can already feel myself entering the afterlife

“They are flashcards” that doesn’t jog anything in him making you wonder if only muggles used this technique “One side has a question, like this one is which plants leaves can cause fits of laughter and/or hysteria?” 

He looks at you a little lost “Guess” you say gently

He shrugs “I don’t know it” he confesses “Sorry cutie” 

You bite your lip “You can still guess, I mean what’s the worst that could happen? In an exam if you write nothing you get zero anyway but if you guess there is a small chance you are right” 

Sirius head tilts, nodding lightly 

“Try not thinking of the answer, try deduction, like what plants do you know don’t cause that effect? From there you can bring it down to a one in four or even one in two chance, better odds” you smile at him

He smiles back, if he was being honest he was just looking to flirt with you the whole session. Yes, he was so going to do that because you were the cutest person alive in his eyes but maybe he could actually learn something too. Everything made sense when you said it and there was the added bonus of your serene voice and temper which he just knew he’d never get enough of

“Okay…it can’t be Lovage because that’s used in potions like the draughts for confusing people, right?” you press your lips together, a small smile on your face as you stay quiet “I’ll assume I’m right cutie” he winks and your cheeks rise, closing your eyes for a second 

She needs to be protected at all costs, he thinks as he resists the urge to wrap an arm around you, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable…or perhaps cause you to combust

“Can’t be Asphodel cause that’s like a Lily…I don’t think I need to expand on why I know that” he says and you let out a tiny giggle “Not moly, bouncing blub is funny to look at and it does have tiny leaves” he bobs his head “There’s Alihotsy…Slughorn used that in a memory potion but…oh” his eyes widen “It’s it Alihotsy? I remember moony saying we should steal some for…reasons” he smirks

You giggle again, the sound warming his heart “Flip over the card and see”

He does at you say, subtly beaming that he got it right but trying to stay cool “You’re a good tutor” he compliments

You smile but shake your head “It’s just one question. I think you know more than you are…aware of” you say as if you aren’t sure how to word it

“I’m assuming they told you my score. I would say I know nothing as that’s what was going through my mind at the time…well actually I was imagining how to pull of this prank” he says smiling before realising he went a little off topic

“I know your score but in class, week to week, you do well on assignments, right?” you ask

He nods not sure where you are going with it

“Well I think you naturally are good at it, it’s more…like when you go to revise to you read it and go I know this, I remember doing this. But then weeks later at the mock exam you saw the same thing, remembered the word but couldn’t recall any information” you wonder

Sirius was a little surprised you got it, he’ll be honest the amount of people who have tried to tutor him was a lot, his friends, Lily, Marlene, couple one night stands he ended up having because he wasn’t learning so he decided to just have fun instead. He wondered if you had noticed him in class, sure mr popular but really watched him. He hadn’t noticed you beyond seeing you in class from time to time and yet you understood him. 

“You’re a smart cookie” he notes nodding 

Smiling you continue “I think the problem lies with you not forcibly recalling the information often, most people try to learn from scratch again but that’s when you get bored, because…”

“...you’ve already read this before” he finishes and you nod

“Really you just need a method like these flashcards, simple questions that add up to create the knowledge you’ll need in the final exam. So, these…” you flick through them “…are colour coded into 5 sections…now there are 7 weeks till the exam so a section per week, a revision week and then one last week for mock papers” you say to yourself but he is listening closely “Does that sound alright?” you check

“Seven weeks of you sounds like heaven” he wiggles his eyebrows

You shrink into yourself a little but not as much as you did at the beginning, Sirius had a nice vibe around him. Either way it was going to be an interesting 7 weeks

Week 1

He decided to meet you every day just before dinner for an hour session, more than the professor suggested but you couldn’t say no, not to his big grey eyes. His flirting never stopped, ever opportunity he decided to slip something in

“Mistletoe, you know I’m a practical learner cutie…perhaps we could find some and you could show me” 

“You look pretty today little genius”

“You’re such a smart cookie, I could just eat...you...up” 

The comments made your heart flutter but he did listen to you, learn from you and by the end of the week he was a whiz at the first topic

“Well done you got 18 out of 21” you smile at him “That’s an O”

He smiles back looking proud of himself “Couldn’t have done it without you cutie” he says placing his hand on your shoulder and giving it a small shake

You were slowly getting used to the touches, you tensed up but you liked them just didn’t know how to tell Sirius yet. Although the boy didn’t seem phased by it, just gave you a small smile as if to say sorry before retracting his hand. He was a naturally touchy person and you were a natural hermit who ironically loved physical touch

“Thanks Sirius” you accept the compliment before flicking to the next sections of notes “So next week we will be doing these flash cards but on Friday you’ll do both next week’s set and the ones we did this week”

“Sounds good” he grins at you, eyes flicking over your face as you turn back to the cards “So are up to anything interesting this weekend?” he inquires

You turn and blink at him, oh no the dreaded moment…small talk. You were fine with talking about Herbology, you knew about that, you were confident in it, but real-life conversation? Not so much, even if you wanted to talk to him more than anything

“Nothing really” you shake your head lightly, shying away from him

Sirius watches you carefully, to most people it looked like you weren’t interested in the slightest, but you were lucky he went through this with a certain moon back in first year

“Nothing can be the best way to spend time” he says sweetly and his heart warms at the way your lips tug upward whilst packing your belongings

Week 2

Sirius struggled with the flashcards for the first two days and it hurt to see him so low

“I got 5, 5 out of 27” he sulks, letting his forehead fall to the desk groaning

You reach out to rub his back but stop yourself “Maybe we should try a different approach” you suggest

He turns his head on the table peering up at you with the cutest eyes that sort of reminded you of your neighbour’s dog. His lips forming the smallest of smiles as he looks at you, she’s beautiful from every angle

“This topic is rather…dull” you admit, you gave him the easiest one last week but this week was the hardest, mostly because it was dry, a lot of reading and more theory that actually plants

He nods his head lifting his face which earns a giggle from you as the parchment sticks to it on the way up “Oh” he pulls it off and sets it on the table, smiling to himself as he does “It is dull, dare say as dull as Mr Binns” he complains and he sees you pout “You aren’t boring though, just the subject matter” he assures you, hand squeezing yours, taking note that you didn’t tense up at his touch as he pulls back

“Maybe you need some…” you think for a moment “… incentive” your shoulders raise 

His soft smile melts into a cheeky smirk “What kind of incentive?” he raises one eyebrow leaning a little closer to you as he says it

You felt heat creep to your cheeks, you were sure he could feel the it radiating from you “Umm…”

Sirius should have felt a little bad but he couldn’t resist, your reactions were so cute he wanted to kiss you all over…maybe one day you’d let him

“Pads!” you were thankful for James’ interruption as it gave you the time you needed to compose yourself

Sirius turns from you to his friend smiling “Need something?” he asks as James approaches and helps himself to a seat

“Oh no, I was just coming to say hi” James shrugs smiling away, eventually turning to you “Hey” he greets

“Hi” you half whisper almost like you mouth the word

James tilts his head a little amused before looking at Sirius to find him watching you with eyes he knew all too well…dubbed Lily eyes by Remus

“How’s the study going? He being a good boy?” James asks with a grin that tells you he knows something you don’t, something that makes Sirius…blush?

The dusting of pink on his cheeks not going unnoticed by his friend “It’s going” Sirius says “Little harder today but in general really well” he answers honestly, not wanting to bite back with a snarky remark in front you, but James can bet his sweet dear arse he’s in for it later

“Colour me impressed” James says looking at you “You must be the only person he’s ever listened too” 

Oh yeah James was going to be fed to Remus tonight…

“Speaking of, we were in the middle of something” Sirius give him a small glare that only makes his friend chuckle

James puts up his hands “Fine I’ll skedaddle” he says and Sirius looks at him funny

“Marlene” James replies and Sirius nods smiling, it was amazing how much muggle vocabulary Marlene had taught him, although this was one of the few times he actually used a phrase correctly

Once he leaves Sirius turns back to you “So incentive?” he says a lot less flirty than the first time

You nod “Like let’s say you get half of them right then you can have a snack, or a go walk or something, for example I let myself read a chapter of my book” you say

“Why half?” he questions

You let out a small laugh “He doesn’t really test this much, if it is it’s part of a bigger question, besides this stuff doesn’t cross over with the practical exam so it’s not really killing two birds you know?” you explain

He smiles, licking his lips “You really should become a teacher, you’re really good at explaining stuff simply without being condescending…plus everyone would have a crush on you” he adds winking

You just smile looking away, a part of you hoping that means he has a crush on you as you have him. Sirius eventually did get half by the end of the week, treating himself to some sweets from Honeydukes which he happily shared with you. 

Week 3

This week was warm and sunny, not the best weather to be hauled up in a library and you could tell Sirius was bored. You had watched him stare out of the window for the last half an hour, dinner would be soon and he hadn’t learnt anything yet so you decided to do something a little bit brave.

“Sirius?” you gain his attention

“Mhm” he hums, turning his head but his eyes linger on the window for a couple of seconds before meeting yours “Sorry” he gives you an apologetic look, he really did want to pay attention but it was hard

You begin packing up your stuff and he panics “Hey I’ll listen, promise” he says worried with big sad eyes that were so out of character for him

You smile “Pack up and follow me” is all you say before moving to place your quills and books in your bag

Sirius looks at you for a minute then does as you say, quietly following you through the castle and out into the castle grounds. You pass by plenty of sunbathing students, groups of friends in circles and quite a few couples have soft core porn sessions on the grass. Eventually you lead him to a quieter area, approaching a picnic bench hidden from view by high bushes, but gave a beautiful view of black lake along with some shelter from the sun thanks to the overhanging branches from nearby trees

“This place better?” you ask quietly, taking a seat on the bench and beginning to get your stuff out

He nods, taking a moment to let his heart stop fluttering before he speaks “It’s perfect” he says talking a seat beside you instead of across, but keeps a healthy inch between you both

You open up the book, skimming the pages to find where you were at while Sirius observes the way the light hits off your features 

“You’re perfect” he whispers to himself 

Week 4

“What you reading?” Sirius asks as he plops himself next to you

You don’t say anything at first just place the bookmark in and hand it to him “It’s called Lord of the Rings…that’s the first book of the triology” you add as he looks over the cover, opening up the first page and admiring the map

“What’s this?” he points to the illustration

You shuffle closer to him “It’s middle earth, where the story takes place” you inform him, legs touching as you point to places on the map explaining the different areas

As you speak he just listens, letting you talk and fill the conversation. Over the last weeks he had noticed you speaking more, adding little bits of info that weren’t needed but you just felt comfortable telling him

“Sorry” he was brought out of his daze to see you looking a little bad about yourself, thinking you were talking too much

He shakes his head “No please continue” your eyes widen “please” he gives you a fond look

A smile spreads across you face “Okay…well the story is about…” you begin explain the general plot to him when his arm wraps around your shoulder

“This okay?” he checks, arm very loose, almost hovering until you nod and he pulls you into him “Why don’t we take our normal break now and you can read me some” he suggests and your eyes light up in a way he wants to see every day for the rest of his life

“Like from the beginning?” you ask

“Sure, as long as you don’t mind starting again” he says whist breathing in the scent of your shampoo

You shake your head happily “I’ve read it all before and I was only on the 4th chapter anyway” your voice is louder than usual although your loud was his normal, making him wonder if you were opening up to him, and that thought led him to kiss your cheek as you began talking again, loving the little waver in your voice as he did

Week 5

You tapped on the book in front of you, smiling to yourself as you waited for him. After last week every time Sirius got a lot of questions right instead of a nap or 10-minute wander around the library he asked you to read him a chapter of the book. You loved reading to him, feeling connected to another person and having them really see you, want to listen and not change the subject as soon as you began to geek out

Your crush on his had grown ten times over. He flirted with you still but it had shifted from cheesy lines to those with sentiment and the tone of his voice changed to a softer, caring one.

“Hello” you lift your head to see three people standing in front of you

“Hi” you say meekly, already beginning to shrink into yourself

The girl at the front laughs “Holy shit you can talk” she jokes and her friends laugh “We’re gonna need to you leave little bookworm, you’re taking up the whole table to yourself”

“I…” you start to speak up nothing comes out “I…I…”

“I…I…” the boy on the right mocks you and you feel tears forming “Gonna cry?” he pouts at you

“I’m w-waiting on someone” you finally get out just loud enough for them to hear

They fake surprise “You have a friend” the girl crosses her arms looking at you sceptically "Highly doubt it who would want to be friends with you"

You could feel the tears about to fall when you heard the voice of someone that made your heart leap “Sorry I’m late…Prongs wanted to get Lily flowers but got trapped in the vines of another plant then Moony and Wormtail tried to cut them out but Wormy got stuck and Moony lost the knifes to the vines…it was a clusterfuck to put it mildly” he rambles sitting down next to you, so caught up in his story and rush to notice the three who now wore real puzzlement on their face s

 “Anyway…” He kisses your temple “I’m here now” he smiles finally looking at you and tilting his head, smile dropping as it's replaced with a look of worry “What happened?”

You open your mouth but nothing comes out, eyes flicking to the group of people Sirius still hadn’t noticed as his focus was and is on you. His heart aches and is only pulled from you by a cough making him turn and see the three standing there

“Hello” he says lowly, no humour or emotion in his voice, eyeing all three

The two boys gulp while the girl seems to keep hold of her fear “Hi” she chirps pretending like she wasn’t blatantly bullying you two seconds ago “We were just looking for a seat but it seems this is taken” she explains but Sirius sees right through her

“Well I suggest…” he wraps his arm around you, feeling you bury your head into the side of his chest in attempt to hide as he can feel the hot tears through his shirt “…you three continue looking. Far from here” he says the last sentence slowly keeping intense eye contact with the girl 

They nod, quickly walking away and he turns to you, heart breaking as he shifts away to see your pout and tear stained cheeks. Lifting one leg over the bench of the picnic table to straddle it, he pulls you forward and onto his lap, letting you cry into him as he holds you

“It’s alright” he kisses the side of your head

You sniffle “I’m sorry” you apologise feeling silly for crying over nothing

His hands find your cheeks pulling you back from his neck to face him “Don’t you dare be sorry” he says firmly, wiping the tears with his thumbs “They’re arseholes and they are going to get the full marauders treatment” he assures you, kissing your nose “They don’t get to make you cry okay, they ever bother you…actually make that if anyone bothers you, you tell me and I’ll beat their arse” he promises

You giggle at him, he was like your every own protector “I’ll tell you”

“Good” he smiles “Now I suggest since I am an amazing herbologist at this point that we ditch the study session just this once and read” he suggests

You look over the books then back to him “That would be really nice” 

He grins kissing your cheek before sliding you back down onto the bench and packing up all your books except Lord of the Rings

“Come on” his fingers curl as he holds out his hand gesturing for you to follow but you end up taking his hand in yours, surprising him but it’s a welcome one. One that makes him pull you closer for another kiss to the head before he carries your stuff over to the incline of the hill nearby.

“Hold up darlin” he stops you from sitting down

You smiled at the new petname, sure you liked cutie, smart cookie etc but this one felt more…intimate. Especially watching him take out his robes and lay them on the grass, making sure your robes and stuff didn’t touch the ground before he sat down and hithered for you to join him

“Can I?” you reach out for the book but he shakes his head

“This day is about you so I will read…but be warned if something crazy happens plot wise I will freak out…and maybe add swears in but I can…”

“I think a fuck or two from Gandalf would be the only thing missing from one of the greatest books ever written” you gently interrupt him

He wears the biggest smile “Before I start can you do one little thing for me?”

“Anything”

“Say fuck again”

Week 6

For the first time you were running late having gone to the library thinking it was too chilly only to wait and then realise Sirius had probably still gone to the picnic table

“Hi” greet you reach the table, slipping in next to him but as he turned to you he didn’t look happy, he looked somewhere between annoyed and worried “I’m so sorry I’m late I went to the library and…”

“I’m not mad” his upset mood lifted for a moment as he kisses your forehead “I’m not mad at you…I’m assuming you haven’t heard” he says

You shake your head “Heard what?” you wonder with worry lines spreading across your face

“They moved the exam forward to next week, something about the Divination professor not wanting their exam on Friday the 13th so they swapped the dates” he says dejected

“Oh” you hadn’t heard but you knew how this could shake him, you were about to speak when his head fell into his hands, looking stressed as his fingers griped at the roots of his hair “Sirius?”

“I can’t fail” he shakes his head “Y/n what I’m I going to do I’ve lost a whole week” he turns to you

Never had you seen him so anxious, so panicked, he was always laid back, maybe a tad worried but never looking like he was ready to break down “You won’t fail, yes we’ve lost a week but we still have one too” you assure him 

His face softens but the nerves remain “I know but…” he trails off closing his eyes

You shift closer, hand finding his knee “You can tell me anything, who’d I tell” you make a little joke and he lets out a singular chuckle

“I need to pass or I can’t become an auror, a fail will screw it all up” he confesses, his hands cupping yours, thumbs running over your fingers “I can’t…screw this up” he says looking down at your hand

“Why is being an auror important to you?” you ask softly, trying to help him remember why he’s doing this, what motivates him, but really, first and most importantly, you were trying to support him

He looks up, meeting your eyes “I want to help people…protect people, protect kids from people like my parents, my dad” he looks so vulnerable, his grip on your hand just that little bit tighter

“Like your parents?” you tilt your head, you knew some things about the Black family but you never wanted to pry

He sighs “He…hit me” he says quietly and you felt your heart break in two “That’s one of the reasons I ran away, the night I showed up at James’ I had two cracked ribs and so many bruises. He threw me down the stairs, even threw a bottle of firewhisky at me once…I hate him” he looks down as he says the last part “Only James knows it happened, and now you” he looks back up

You slip your hand out of his grip, opening your arms and he falls into them without a second thought “Thank you for trusting me” you whisper kissing his hair “You’re really brave” you say with the upmost sentiment

“I’m not…I left my little brother” he shakes his head, head shifting to look up at you

You kiss his forehead, seeing him close his eyes as your lips touch his skin “You had to do what was right for you, there’s no shame in that” you give him a small smile “And…it’s never too late, to make amends or to do anything” 

He smiles at you, lifting his head up to face you properly “You’re…you’re a wonderful person” he complements, lifting your hand up and kissing your knuckles

Week 7

You let your legs swing from the wall you were seated on, waiting for Sirius to come out. You finished quite early, you were the herbology whiz after all. As you waited you saw Remus come out around 5 minutes after you and sit a little further down the wall

He gave you a kind smile “Thank you” he says as more people begin to come out gathering in little groups just down from the two of you

“For what?” you ask a little confused

He just smiles “For helping him achieve the things I always knew he could” he says simply before turning to greet Peter as he comes out looking happy with himself as he gushes about the exam to Remus

You smile as well, continuing to as you see James come out, followed by a few others until eventually your Sirius…well he wasn’t yours but he sure felt like it as he looked around a bit before zoning in on you, walking straight by his friends, including James’ awkward open arms

“I think you’ve been replaced” Remus whispers to James who huffs “I’ll give you one though” he offers to which James shrugs and pulls him in

While they hug and James soon pulls Peter in to join them, Sirius sits next to you on the wall

“What you get for question 5?” he asks and you let out a giggle

“Nice to see you too” you pout in faux annoyance

He chuckles “Sorry darling” he kisses your temple and slithers his arm around your waist “Hi” he greets you properly

“Hi Siri” you chirp back, seeing his eyes flash with something as you try out the nickname

“Call me that again” he smirks

You chew on your lip “Siri” you repeat, your voice timid this time 

He kisses your cheek “You’re so cute and I like that name when you say it” he confesses

“I like darling when you call me it” you admit and he hugs you closer

“So question 5”

You shake your head “Nope” you pop the ‘p’

“Please” he makes puppy eyes 

You shake your head once more “No, discussing answers will only make you more stressed, it’s better to just forget everything about it until you get the mark” 

He looks like he’s trying to think of a way around your logic but ultimately sighs “Fine” he squeezes your waist “I know we’ve finished our sess…” he starts but you’re interrupted by his friends

“Hey Marlene and some others are thinking of sneaking to Hogsmeade to get butterbeers to celebrate finishing our…” James looks in thought

“Second” Remus reminds him

James lightly hits his arm “Second exam and…oh merlin we’re only two in” his eyes widen looking like he went through ten different emotions before shrugging “Anyway, you coming?” he asks and he must notice your awkward shuffle and Sirius’ eyes flicking to you as he adds “That invitation includes you too y/n”

You look at Sirius to find him already smiling at you “You want to?” he asks with a glimmer of hope in his eyes

You nod, watching his eyes light up before he takes your hand in his as you both stand up

“He’s got the Lily eyes again” Remus teases and you look at him funny while Sirius can’t even glare he just goes a little red

James quickly joins in “It’s a song you see…I got those Lily eyes” he starts singing

“Those Lily eyes” Remus begins to harmonise with him

“That tell you that I love you…” James takes Remus in his arms and they begin to waltz around the corridor

“Duh duh duh” Remus hums 

“Dumb dee dee dee…Minnie” they stop in their tracks but don’t decouple as they spot their professor

She seems rather amused but hides it well “Having fun?” she asks and they nod “Between you and me Mr Potter I would refrain from such gestures in the future” she eyes him before letting out a small smile “You may make a certain redhead jealous…although Jamus is a rather fun name to say” she shrugs, beginning to walk away before spotting you 

“Minnie” Sirius winks

“Mr Black” she acknowledges him before turning her attention to you “Miss Y/l/n I had a chat with Albus earlier and as long as you achieve O’s or A’ in all of your exams we would be happy to take you on as a teaching assistant next year” and with that she smiles and heads off

You smile to yourself beginning to follow the other marauders towards their friends but Sirius stops you “Teacher huh?” he grins but it’s a proud one

You nod “A really good person helped me realise I’d make a rather…kick ass teacher” you say with a small giggle

He leans down and kisses your cheek “I know you were complimenting me darling but all I can think about is how adorable it sounds when you swear”

“Fuck” you say quietly 

His smile widens “I love you so much” he didn’t mean to say it, his heart jumped to his throat as he finished but the words flowed out so naturally he didn’t regret it

Your eyes widen but that sparkle he just adored shone bright right before you pulled his face down by his cheeks to kiss him. He stumbles but instantly recovers, his hands finding your hips and pulling you in whilst your lips move in sync, cheekly letts his hand slide lower as the kiss continues.

Eventually you break away hearing two singular but loud ‘whoops’ from James and Remus while the others just smirk at the scene. You shuffle behind Sirius, shying away into his side while he looks them like he’s the happiest man on earth…hell he probably was he just got to kiss the girl of his dreams and not only that but you made the first move!

“Darling?” he looks baffled when he turns back and you aren’t there before lifting up his arm up to see you adorably cowering behind him “Hi”

“Hi” you reply biting your lip

“You know we could ditch them, grab food from the kitchens and have our first date if you want?” he suggests like he hadn’t already set up a romantic picnic for you both that he would have taken you to later if you had said yes to his date

“Really?” you shine at him

He nods “Course, anything for my smart cookie” he leans down and pecks your lips, then your nose, and your cheek and your other cheek…he peppers every inch your whole face

You giggle at his actions “Siri” you whine and he finally stops but not before kissing your lips one last time

“Sorry darlin, always wanted to do that” he confesses taking your hand and turning back to the group “Guys we’re going to do our own thing, we’ll join you next time” he informs them and they all smile

As you and he walk away, missing the exchange of money between people behind you, you realise you haven’t told him something

“Wait” you stop him

“What?” he tilts his head

“I love you too” you say, smiling up at him

His heart was overwhelmed, he figured you loved him, he’d known it was mutual for a long while but the vocal confirmation made this warmth spread across his chest in a way he never knew he needed. 

He squeezes your hand planting a soft lingering kiss to your lips “You want to spend all night eating food and reading our book?”

“Fuck yeah” 

Thank you for reading 💛

They were all so excited about the new passage it left little time for your usual cuddles lately. You tried to catch their eye a few times by brushing your hand with theirs or forgetting your cardigan so when they visited the library they would hug you to warm you up. They didn’t seem to get the hint though and you now had at least one jumper or cardigan charmed to your size from each of them...not that you were complaining but still, a girl needs her cuddles

Problem was you were way too shy to ask them, even now, so you brought your legs up to your chest and hugged yourself instead

Remus glances back at that moment to check on you since you had been, funnily enough, quieter than normal. He presses his lips together in almost a pout as he observes you, head resting between your knees as you stared at James and Sirius with a look he could only describe as forlorn

You don’t seem to notice him slipping the bookmark you gifted him into his book, nor him getting up to put his book on the nightstand

“Hey bunny” he whispers, sliding in behind you, arms snaking around your sides

You instantly melt under his touch, hands loosening around your knees as you fall into him

“Hi” you bite your lip, trying to hold back your smile

He shifts on the bed, dragging one leg around your back so he can pull you closer, letting you settle between his legs

“You okay?” he nuzzles his nose into the hair just behind your ear, his strong yet gentle arms holding you flush against his chest

You hum in response, turning your head so you can nudge your nose into his cheek “I am now” you whisper, not wanting to disturb the other boys nor break yours and Remus’ moment

You can feel his cheeks rise before he plants a sweet kiss to the corner of your eyebrow “What’s wrong bunny?” he asks, face so close you can feel each others breaths

You shy away from him but he brings one hand away from your waist, rough fingers gripping your jaw softly and bringing it back towards him

“Bunny” his voice deepens, a smirk he tries to hide playing on his lips at your bashful expression

After a few moments to compose yourself you take a prolonged breath “I wanted cuddles” you confess shamfully and his smirk breaks free, a fond chuckle escaping his lips as his fingers slide upwards until they cradle your cheek, thumb moving back and forth over the apple in a smoothing motion

“You should have just said bun” he shuffles impossibly closer, eyes flicking to the side briefly to see James still working on the map while Sirius is now in his dog form getting a belly rub from James’ free hand “Cuddles with you are the best” he rubs his nose with yours, adoring the scrunch

“Better than Siri’s?” you ask a little wide eyed, a happy shock flowing through you as Sirius’ padfoot form had such soft fur it was better than any blanket…especially now he was stealing your conditioner 

He licks his lips “Yes, just don’t tell him that” he winks causing you to giggle, the giggles catching the other boys’ attention

“My lips are s…Siri!” you start before you feel a ball of fur jump on you, pushing your back further into Remus’ chest

You turn your head back to face your boyfriend…well dog...and he licks your face, slobbery kisses all over. Remus chuckles at the sight, one hand still wrapped around you while the other takes James' as the boy moves to cuddle into his side

Eventually Sirius settles down, curling up into a ball on your lap, groaning softly as your nails scratch the skin beneath his fur, while James leans forward to kiss your cheek then Remus’ before laying down next to you both, head by your legs so he can see you both

“You’re so pretty” he says a little tired, head kissing Sirius’ snout, cheek squished against the covers

Remus wears a faint blush while you lean back in order to tug your head into Remus’ neck to hide from the compliments, much to James' delight before he closes his eyes and cosies into Sirius

“Better?” Remus whispers not wanting to wake the other two as they quickly slip off

You nod, pulling back to smile gratefully at him “Thank you” you bring your lips to his for a lingering kiss

“Anytime” he gives you one last peck “You want me to move him before your legs go numb or is it worth it?” he wonders, voice so soft you feel yourself becoming one with the mattress

“Worth it…but do you think you could reach our book?” you gesture to the nightstand and he chuckles quietly

“Course bunny”

Thank you for reading 💛