#robron ficlet

Day three: 2016

This is a little bit more than 100 words, so it’s more like a drabble and a half 😊

Only You Can Set My Heart On Fire

He waits, knowing that Aaron will follow.

Robert reaches for Aaron’s belt buckle, making his intentions clear. Then Aaron is kissing him and the rest of the world fades away.

The kiss with Rebecca flashes through his mind. He allowed it to happen, to prove to himself that Aaron was the only one he wanted. And he had felt nothing. No spark or longing. Just emptiness.

This is the opposite.

Robert feels everything. Love, yearning, hope, lust.

Aaron’s lips are home and his touch sets every nerve ending alight. They are pressed together in the narrow space beside the door as though they are one body. One soul.

The white gold promise of forever is burning a hole in his pocket and all he wants to do is stay exactly where he is, wrapped up in Aaron’s arms for the rest of his life.

Also on AO3

"I've waited six years for a night of normality with you, Aaron." ✨️🥹

I hope this along the lines of what you wanted!

It's all going wrong.

Aaron rushes from the bathroom as the timer beeps, swearing. The shampoo's not out of his hair yet but the tray needs to come out now or it'll burn and it's all a mess because damn it, Aaron's nervous.

Aaron doesn't do nerves when it comes to dating. He's confident, assertive, and he goes after what he wants when he wants it. It was even that way with Robert when they were starting out, while Robert was with Chrissie. He knew he shouldn't have but he wanted Robert and he didn't stop until he had Robert underneath him.

It's changed in the six years since Robert went to prison. Maybe it's because Aaron knows what's at stake - every other relationship he's had has paled in comparison to being with Robert - or maybe it's the fact that despite knowing Robert better than anyone else, it's like they're starting over.

Aaron's been pushing it aside, rather successfully, for months now. It's nothing in the grand scheme of things really, some shared dna markers and a last name. It doesn't affect him in their daily life together, at least it hasn't so far.

The first time it does affect him though, it hits him like a smack across the face. Actually, he would have much preferred a literal smack.

John's taken him out, wants to treat him, and Aaron's reluctantly agreed. It turns out it's that bloody Italian restaurant near the hospital in Hotten and suddenly he's having vivid war flashbacks of Dr. Alex. Aaron regrets the analogy off the bat, John is the one who's been to war and has both emotional and actual scars to prove it. Still, Aaron can't shake the images of the doctor with the perfect hair and how close he had come to cheating on him... with Robert.

The thing is, Robert can't be on his mind now, he just can't. Not that he ever can, but especially not now, when he's about to be wined and dined by John. Pull yourself together, he tells himself and attempts a faint smile when his boyfriend looks at him.

That's when the smack across the face blindsides him. He hears John say they have a reservation under 'Sugden' and it's like Aaron realises, for the first time, what it means. What he's actually been doing. He feels a bit sick, suddenly the collar of his shirt is too tight, and he can feel the colour is draining from his face. He doesn't hear John anymore, all he hears is a medley of "Mr. Sugden" and "Mr. Dingle" and "I love you, Mr. Sugden-Dingle first" and it's fucking heartbreaking.

'I have to go', he hears himself say in a voice he doesn't even recognise as his own. John just looks at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Aaron takes off but not before John tries to grab his arm to stop him. Aaron shakes himself free, and mutters 'sorry' under his breath. He's tearing up and he knows he's making a scene, but he runs for the door anyway. The cold December air that hits him makes it even harder to breathe for a second or two, but being outside still helps. Being on his own helps too.

Aaron starts walking, hands in his pockets, eyes already red from crying. He hasn't cried about Robert in a long time, he doesn't even know how to anymore. He's locked Robert away, ironically, in a place that's almost unreachable. He's done it with Jackson, Ben and Liv too, but not quite in the same way. It's okay to grieve them, people understand when he needs to do that. They're all gone - Robert is too but in another, more dangerous, way. The others can't come back, but Robert can.

Given what Aaron knows about Robert, he will come back, because where else would he go? To find Seb, sure, but then? He'll come home. It might not even be that long, Aaron realises. Five years have already passed. It feels like twenty.

He feels the guilt creep up when he dares to actually think about it. Robert coming back to the village where he was born, became a dad himself, got married. Only to find his ex-husband living with his new half brother. It doesn't matter how angry Aaron still is, or how hurt he was about being blanked and divorced. What he's been doing with John suddenly feels wrong in every way. How could he have let it go so far? Why hasn't the people around him questioned it more?

His brisk pace has taken him halfway home. He feels sick again when he sees the lay-by coming up in front of him. Where he was with John wasn't exactly here, but it was close enough. Aaron stops in his tracks and wipes his eyes. He sees it now, what he should have seen all along; the lay-by, the barn, the woods... He's been living in deja-vu mode without even noticing. Has he been projecting his feelings onto John? Or is something more sinister brewing beneath the surface?

Now that Aaron was far, far away from the village (a village where no one clearly understood him not like his Robert always did) and staying with his best mate, Adam, the fog that the past few years had brought on began to clear.

As the pressure and stress faded, he realized what was always staring in his face but couldn’t admit it to himself fully - his so-called family, those that were meant to look after him steered him to become what THEY wanted him to be - THEIR crutch, the good son doing and getting what THEY wanted from him but what was HE getting in return? Nothing really - he was allowing them to run his life while he himself had to suppress/bottle his feelings (for THEIR sake making himself miserable inside while pretending to be ‘okay’ on the outside) all the while trying to come to terms what his life had turned into - one without Robert and one where everybody once again turned their backs on his husband for hurting Aaron. He didn’t even recognize himself anymore, the man he became with Robert had went in hibernation to suit others.

Enough of that! Now that the fog was cleared, and with Adam’s full support, Aaron set about doing what he should have done years ago - fight for his husband, especially now that there was a chance, however slight there was, to appeal his case and get his idiot husband of his heart out and home to him for good this time. He would choose Robert once again like he always would have done if not for the interference of his family. Robert always said he deserved to be happy. Well happiness meant being with the nightmare of an idiot that is Robert, anything else was just biding time, going through the motions.

Now fast forward some time and Aaron has his Robert back. He is taking on the role of the strong one, helping Robert cope with the time he spent in prison and both are learning to adapt to who’ve they’ve become since they’ve been apart. They don’t return to the village even though they have good memories there (Aaron has their photo album, their rings, the leather jacket and the letters he never sent to Robert with him, no reason to go back), it’s not enough to counter the toxicity that still exists courtesy of both their families. They will never let them be and will always try to interfere in their lives. They restart their dream of a large family of their own once their heads are both in a good place. They also have Sebastian now that his mum is no longer in the picture.

So, in the end, what Robert said on the evening of their first wedding became a reality: ‘… and it’ll pass… however long it is… and then you’ll come home to me and we’ll never look back, okay?’

They never looked back and embraced the future they deserved - together!

Robert takes Seb upstairs after dinner and deposits him in his bedroom while Aaron cleans up after dinner. By the time Aaron is done, Seb is deeply engrossed in his imaginary world playing games and Robert is in the shower. Aaron flops onto their bed - belly full and satisfied. He scrolls through his phone mindlessly while he hears the background noise of the shower spraying and Seb playing in the adjacent room.

That is, until he hears a whiny, “Da-addy,” come from down the hall.

Aaron perks up from the bed and listens. Seb knows that Robert is in the shower, as is the ritual every night in the Sugden-Dingle household. Not hearing Seb call out again, Aaron goes back to his phone, thinking maybe Seb is playing some game.

Not a minute after Aaron goes back to his phone, he sees Seb standing at the threshold of Robert and Aaron’s bedroom. “Daddy! I was calling you!”

Aaron’s stomach drops when he sees Seb looking straight at him. Seb always calls him either Aaron, or Papa Aaron, he has never called Aaron ‘daddy’ before. "I'm sorry. What's up little man?" Aaron asks, making a face at his words. They feel like they've been plucked out of Robert's mouth.

"I need help making a blanket fort!" Seb says decisively, and then takes off to his room. With a small smile, Aaron follows Seb into his room. There’s a right mess of blankets already strewn across the room, and they get to work.

By the time Robert gets out of the shower, the pair have made a sizable fort that can fit them both under the blankets. Seb is cuddled next to Aaron while he reads a book.

“What’s all this?” Robert asks with a delighted smile.

“Daddy and I made this blanket fort!” Seb tells Robert excitedly.

Daddy? Robert mouths and Aaron gives a shrug, unable to contain the grin that forms on his face.

“Budge over,” Robert says, kneeling down and crawling into the blanket fort with Aaron and Seb. Seb settles between both Aaron and Robert and Aaron proceeds to finish the book.

“I have the best daddies ever,” Seb announces when the story is over. He squirms into the floor for a bit before closing his eyes. Robert reaches over and squeezes Aaron’s hand. Aaron puts the book down and he rolls over to scoop Seb into his arms and Robert drapes his arms over Aaron’s waist as they both close their eyes.

“Daddy daddy!!!” – came the tiny voice. By the time Aaron looked up from scrolling on his phone his daughter stood there in front of him – in her pyjamas -  looking quite upset.

“What’s wrong?” – he asked already alarmed as he put his phone down, to give his undivided attention to the little girl.

“I’m bored.” – she pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest. It was understandable. She just turned 3 recently and had to stay at home because of a little cold. It wasn’t serious, but Robert was adamant that she should take the week off from nursery. So Aaron stayed at home with her, secretly loving all the quality time they could spend together. There was one thing he didn’t count on though. – “Let’s have a tea party!” – she grinned already organizing things. Aaron tried to argue, and offer an alternative – yes he would’ve even read any princess story - but it was pointless. His daughter was just as stubborn as he was, and on top of all that she had that adorable little smile that was basically impossible to say no to.

That’s why Robert took a double take after he came home that afternoon and found his husband, on the ground, with a miniature tea cup in his hand, pretending to drink.

“No daddy you’re doing it wrong!!” – lectured the girl – “You have to hold it like this.” – she said lifting up her pinkie. That was the point where Robert started laughing.

“Hi there. I see you’re a bit occupied at the moment.” – he said smirking at Aaron.

“Just wait until it’s your turn.” – he fired back, and true enough, 2 minutes later Robert was sitting down next to them, joining in.

Aaron was staring at his phone, he knew Robert was meeting with his solicitor to get his masterplan sorted, but Aaron hadn’t seen him in almost 2 days and he missed him. He’d refused to take a key to Robert’s flat, insisting that the only key they needed was the one to the Mill. But that also meant he couldn’t just drive to Hotten and let himself in to wait for Robert to get back.

“Heyyy, what’s up? Wassap???” Paddy said, giggling at his own comment as he sat down on the empty barstool next to Aaron.

Aaron raised an eyebrow at him and turned his attention back to his phone.

“Who are you texting?” Paddy tried again. “Setting up a hot date?”

“Did my mum send you over to ask about the guy she thinks I’m seeing?”

“No! No, of course not. No, no, no. I’m just making conversation. As you do, you know. I say Hi Aaron and then you say something back and I say something again and -”

“Yeah I get the idea, Paddy, thanks.”

Paddy is interrogating me. Mum’s sending in the big guns.

***

“Don’t you think it’s time, love?”

Aaron had frowned at the words. He’d known what his mum was hinting at, but he hadn’t wanted to accept it. Not ever.

It hadn’t been the first time she’d said it. And she wasn’t the only one who’d mentioned it either. He’d seen the way people looked at him: pity in their eyes, glancing down at his left hand and lingering on the wedding ring still in place for too long.

They all thought he needed to move on. And it wasn’t like anyone even took pleasure in it. Once upon a time, his mum (amongst many people) would’ve been pleased to see the back of Robert, but these days it was obvious that she missed him being around. It seemed like a lot of people did, but no-one as much as Aaron.

He felt like his whole life had been put on pause. It was like he was hardly living at all. It had been that way for years now and he could understand why everyone seemed so keen for him to move on. The years were slipping by and he was frozen in time, clinging to a man he still loved with all his heart and holding onto a dream that couldn’t be any more.

He missed Robert so much. The pain wasn’t as sharp these days; it didn’t feel like a knife to the chest gutting him every morning when he woke up alone anymore. But it was a constant ache; a constant reminder that he’d lost the man he loved.

Twisting the ring with his thumb, he stared down at it. It had been there for so long; he hadn’t taken it off in so long.

He knew everyone would keep going on at him. He knew it would just be a reminder to them all that he wasn’t dealing with it. He knew they’d start to fuss and worry and he couldn’t cope with that. He didn’t want them watching him, waiting for another epic breakdown.

Drawing in a shuddery breath, he gripped the ring and twisted it off his finger slowly. Then he held it between his thumb and finger and smiled softly to himself. There were tiny bumps and nicks all over the surface of the metal, hardly visible unless you really looked, and for a moment he marvelled at how symbolic that was. That was them - covered in scars and damaged, but still strong and whole, still meant to be. They would be again - eventually.

He slipped the ring onto the chain he’d bought. A simple silver thing that no-one would notice.

He moved to the mirror so he could fasten the clasp after he’d passed it around his neck and then he spun the ring back round to the front so it hung down against his chest.

Let them think he’d removed it. Let them think he’d forgotten. Let them think he could move on. He wouldn’t. He’d wear the ring every day, hanging from chain, hovering just above his heart. He’d wear it like that until the day it could go back to its rightful place.

Placing his hand over the ring as it lay against his skin, he breathed out and closed his eyes.