#robinbuckley

Robin Buckley and you have been friends for a little over a year now. You’ve talked about loads and loads of things all but one : boys. There had been a single conversation about dating between the two of you in which you both came to the conclusion that dating just wasn’t a priority for either of you. It was easy to say and to avoid all the boy crazy chatter because of what you’ve been hiding. But something peculiar happened the other night at her house.

“Have you been reading any new poetry lately?”, you asked as you kept flipping through the contents of a vogue magazine. “Well yeah.. Sort of not really, the ones I’m reading right now I’ve read hundreds if not thousands of times.” She was watching your fingers glide up the corner of the page and flip. “I do that too, considering how generic these magazines are.” you both giggle. “Yeah, yeah”, she sounded kind of relieved for some reason. “Who’s the poet? I am in desperate need of new poetry.” you say dramatically and put your hands together in front of you. You couldn’t help but noticing how her eyes widened and her eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly at the question. She took a pause and breathed out her answer “Sappho.”

After you got home it was all you could think of. You paced around your room with your walkman blasting in your ears. “no way no way no way”, you kept mumbling to yourself. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself every time you thought of that answer. This could mean you really have a chance. It has to mean she’s in to girls it just has to! Of course you were familiar with Sappho’s work, for so long it was your only companion. Your lighthouse in the treacherous sea of conformity that was hawkins.

All the fuzzy feelings you’ve had about her they could be something real now… that is if she is actually in to you. Maybe she just is queer but doesn’t like you. Gosh why is this so difficult?! But you knew you had to at least try.

The next day you begged your mom to drive you to a gardening store. You picked out the most vibrant violets you could find.

Then you scrimmaged through your dad’s endless collection of cassette tapes to find just what you were looking for: advanced level french tapes. Your heart began to swell in your chest at the idea that this might all be worth it and she might like you back.

It was monday when you picked up Robin from world history to hang out at lunch. “Where were you yesterday? Was like you fell off the face of the Earth, I kept trying to call but your dad kept saying you were out. I was going to ask if you wanted to get some ice cream of something lame like that.” you could hear the disappointment build in her voice as she trailed on. “I’m sorry” you said in a high pitched tone. “I was running errands with my mom, groceries don’t buy themselves and I thought you had band practice.” you said with uncertainty. “You guessed wrong” she said and there was a bloated beat of silence. “Look, if you don’t want to hang out so much you could just tell me.” She stated and stared straight in to your soul.

“No oh my god nothing like that!”, you said apologetically. “Robin, you know you’re like my only friend.” you put your hand on her shoulder. She chuckled “and you’re my only friend.” She rolled her eyes and sat down at your guys usual cafeteria table. She elbowed your shoulder and continued “Sorry, I just get freaked out because I’m not used to having any friends and all that”. You smiled, “I know, I know. But to make it up to you I thought we could hang out today at my house.” you winked trying to make her laugh. “Sounds cool” she smiled.

…

It was 6:54pm when you heard your doorbell ring. You had spent the last hour arranging and then rearranging the spread of gifts on your bed. “oh my god” you whispered to yourself, it was hard to believe this was happening. You basically sprinted to the front door.

“Hey!!” you almost yelled as the door flew open.

“Woah, hey hello!!” she said with the slight lit of confusion making the corners of her mouth rise.

“Why are you out of breath?” she continued with a chuckle.

You panted “Oh ha was just doing jumping jacks” you tried to play it off.

“What a strange girl are you” she smiled and walked past you.

She’s so not in to me you could suddenly imagine a million scenarios in which she wears a face of disgust and you’re left alone forever. (you might be exaggerating but whatever). As you’re all lost in your head she’s now about a foot away from your white bedroom door. You could feel your heart pounding in your ears.

You watched her delicate fingers wrap around the gold door knob; there’s no going back now.

Robins back faced towards you as you watched her look at the various items you’d collected for her.

She shrieked and spun around to face you.

“You LIKE ME?!!” She said and before you could react her arms were thrown around you. She slid one of her hands down to your waist and then around the door knob and shut the door with a small click sound.

“How’d you guess?”, you chuckled as you cupped her perfect face in your palm.

“Ohh, it’s only the gayest arrangement of things you could get.” She said teasingly and grinned.

You were blushing so hard you thought you’d pass out. “I really like you Robin Buckley.” you looked down to the space in between you. Too overwhelmed with emotion to look in to her ocean blue eyes.

“I’m so glad”, her sweet raspy voice grew quiet as she pulled a strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes closed and you felt the softness of her mouth press over yours.