#robert romano

patients and other doctors regularly scream in her face in a way that they likely wouldn't do to another woman, especially a conventionally attractive woman, bc of the ways in which this sort of disability UnWomans her. people don't just see her as unattractive, but as literally less human

and it's subtle and rich and complex, and as a disabled man watching it, it's fucking sublime, bc i have never seen a show that has a disabled character like her be part of the main cast, and the show delves into these biases and prejudices and depicts them rather than just doing quippy one liners

or afterschool special style nonsense where a character ~learns a lesson~ and is never bad to disabled people ever again

like, no, they're all bad to disabled people all the time, both to kerry and to disabled patients and to relatives of disabled patients, and theoretical disabled people

bc they just don't get it like she does - she's shown as being very aware of the ADA and other disability programs, she's extremely culturally aware, we see her position herself in solidarity with Black coworkers regularly, she's aware of pregnancy as a disability, HIV, etc

and none of this is her being nice, btw. i don't think she's a very nice woman, which is part of why i like her so much. i think she's a good doctor, but she's not "nice", and she doesn't like, use ASL, or promote accessibility, to be nice. she does it bc she thinks it's Correct and Right

anyway, Romano is not an especially masculine man - he postures a lot, but he's on the small side, he's bald, and he's able to treat people as shittily as he does bc he's a surgeon and bc he's such a senior member of staff. he does get punched out from time to time but like

in general he is an obsessively masculine man who asserts his masculinity by harassing and undermining his inferiors - women, cripples, non-whites, junior staff - and basically just being a horrible bastard, and bc he is such a competent surgeon, it is allowed, it is forgiven, it's even rewarded

but now he's a cripple, and more than a cripple, he's no longer a surgeon. so what he is is a nasty man with no friends, no allies in the workplace, a horrible attitude, only one arm, and he is desperately trying to claw back any semblance of power, bc he's so used to having it over those around him

the show is so good about going like. "this guy wants to kill himself, and yes, he wants to kill himself bc he has this new disability, but it's not because being an amputee or being disabled in general is so horrible that anybody in his position would want to die. HE wants to die bc he sucks"

it's not his disability that makes him friendless - he's demoted at work, he's shoved into shitty work, and he's desperately trying to keep hold of any position he can, teaching, even attempting procedures one-handed, bc his ego won't allow for anything less but also like

bc he is disposable

his entire career has been about treating others as disposable, and cruelly so. he's had multiple lesbians fired because they're lesbians and he doesn't want them in his workplace. he's bullied people out of departments and the hospital. he's attempted to fire nurses despite not having the authority

and now HE'S the disposable one. bc he's disabled AND a prick - he put literally everything into being an extremely good surgeon and jacking off to everyone about what a good surgeon he is. he has no other skills, no other selling points, now that he has no surgery going for him

and what delights me about 10x03 is that they introduce a new med student played by baby glenn howerton, and he specifically needles at and insults romano in the middle of the ER, and romano snaps back and tries to wield his authority over him, screams in this kid's face… and the kid just laughs

and this is what has happened to kerry REPEATEDLY throughout the series. everyone's always just laughing in her face when she tries to assert her humanity, let alone her fucking authority, bc at the end of the day, she's just a fucking cripple

romano is now in a similar rank

especially bc howerton's character is so severely asthmatic that he's repeatedly having to take his inhaler on the emergency room floor, and ends up in a bed after inhaling some fibreglass! he is also very disabled!

but he doesn't LOOK disabled like romano does. he can still do his job

and the reason that howerton's character is posturing TO romano in this way is bc he's aware that when people see him taking his inhaler, they see him as less masculine, more pathetic, more child-like, less impressive, etc - so he does this dick measuring contest and humiliates romano

bc at the very least he's above this other disabled guy in the pecking order, and everyone sees it bc it's so public

guh it's just. it's so satisfying bc yeah that's what it's like. this is how normie disabled people live in the every day, this is the competition and the fucking dog-eat-dog shit

kerry puts herself in community with other disabled people constantly, and while she's initially very nervous about engaging in lesbian community bc she's specifically worried about homophobic retaliation and sabotage in the workplace, she engages with lesbian bars and spaces as well

and subsequently everyone else is weird about her disability, but she isn't. she's extremely confident about it, in fact - she flat out ignores people's weird questions or complaints, is really good at shoving them off, and generally her ego isn't threatened by other people's ableism at all

and the show doesn't explain that to the audience - i know that because i'm the cripple in community with other disabled people of varying types and communities who does the advocacy and support for others, and i get her whole thing, and like

god what GOOD representation

like. just seeing all this complexity and rich dynamics and depth to these characters - none of them are EVIL, weaver is a fucking excellent doctor and a good administrator; romano WAS a great surgeon and is an okay doctor; idk about howerton's character, he's probably just average

and i just!!! i just love it. this is how you fucking do it.