#robert berens

and

Robert “oops I tripped and queer subtext accidentally fell out of my pockets it wasn’t intended to be romantic but hey fan interpretations are cool” Berens

I am not shading either one, ftr. What I believe is that whatever anyone at spn did unconsciously, or by accident, or in terms of purposeful queer coding, nobody would be able to say “oh yes we meant for that to seem romantic and we were purposefully putting in queer coding to get around corporate censorship.” SPN creatives can’t admit to it even if they wanted to, because of the caps corporate put on Dean.

It is actually a HUGE deal that Cas’s confession got greenlit. That was the big change in the last season. Not because queer coding or implications didn’t exist before, but that was the very first time in the entire run there was a snowball’s chance of hell of getting it openly acknowledged from either side, and the wall opened only for Cas. Not Dean.

Some people should be going at lot harder about corporate.

It’s funny how the destiel lane was so loud about that after 15.20 and there was tons of discourse about corporate slamming down limits, while letting Cas’s confession through was a breakthrough. But now a bunch of people have conveniently forgotten the corporate overlords exist and forgotten the realities of the situation. Where creatives can’t talk openly about it. None of them. They can talk about how great queer readings on the text are and that’s it.

We’ll see if that changes at some point but I’m feeing pretty sure that is where it’s going to live.

The acknowledgement and welcome to fan lenses is the ceiling in terms of validation, and it’s not intended to be an insult or patronizing, nor is it homophobic on their part when they cannot, in fact, offer more than that. They cannot confirm bi Dean. They can only talk in terms of interpretation and fandom lenses.

And it seems odd to me how some people tried to weaponize Bobo’s words against Jensen, like “suck it Jensen!!!” omg seriously?? Because in its essence it is very similar and even Bobo could only go as far as “yay isn’t fan interpretation neat!!” (I’m not saying that they are the same, but when the bare bones of what’s being said are essentially similar, weaponizing Bobo’s words against Jensen’s when they’re sitting in the same general zip code, in essence, is just grudgewanking)

Instead of misdirecting that rage, print this logo out. Hang it on the wall. Throw darts at it.

Because I keep seeing repeated that Dean apologized to Cas for being angry or that this speech is authorial voice of Robert Berens condemning Dean for being angry.

Neither of those things are what is actually going on.

What is going on is a raw but tender examination into Dean's psyche, his fears about himself, and of losing Cas, and Dean allowing himself to express soft emotions after he has expressed understandable more negative ones--anger, hurt. There has to be room for both. If there is only room for the negative ones, that's not good. If there is only room for Dean to be soft, and he doesn't express his anger and his hurt, that's not good. Berens has frequently written Dean expressing himself on the range of both types of emotions, the tenderness and the anger. Dean's fear, Dean's self-blame, does not equal authorial voice condemnation.

Bolding mine.

DEAN: No, no, no. [Dean looks around and then speaks quietly in prayer] Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. [Dean breaks down, sniffles, and then kneels at the base of the tree]

I – Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know – I know that it's – i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just – it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how – [Sniffles] how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And – And I – I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long – [Sniffles] I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm – I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me. [Sniffling] Okay.

What is Dean apologizing for? Letting Cas walk out without saying that's not what Dean really truly wanted to happen. Dean's anger is valid and the text treated his anger as valid, but Dean is fearful of his own anger. A consistent theme Berens works with more than once, but not condemning Dean. Illustrating and exploring Dean's pov, his self-doubts.

From 15.18 Despair, also by Robert Berens (bolding mine):

DEAN: We'll lose. (walking slowly towards the back wall of the room, hopeless) I just led us into another trap, all because I couldn't hurt Chuck. Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that's all I know how to do. CASTIEL: Dean... (approaches him) DEAN: It was Chuck all along. We shouldn't have left Sam and Jack. We should be there with them right now. (tearfully) Everybody's gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can't stop it. (approaches Cas) She's gonna get through that door. CASTIEL: (quietly) I know. DEAN: And she's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me.

Notice the repeat on the phrase "I can't stop it"--and it's about his loved ones getting killed and Dean believing it's his fault and that's what Dean really meant in The Trap but he didn't articulate it that way because people are messy and Dean is a complicated deeply loving character with a lot of self-doubt and fears, and Robert Berens understands this.

And we know what happens next, and wow, Cas hearing Dean saying "that's all I know how to do" must have absolutely SENT Cas. Seeing how harshly Dean sees himself. Cas absolutely snapped in a very positive way and unleashes his beautiful speech that is a tribute to Dean in general, not just Cas's own expression of love for Dean.

Dean's expression of self doubt are not an authorial condemnation and meant as statements of objective truth. Unreliable narrators are part of the tools of fiction, and Berens' scripts do tend to work with complex emotional entangled ways, they're pretty deeply layered. As well as compassionate and empathetic, if often raw.

I'm thinking too of what Berens wrote for Dean in "Who We Are" with Dean's heartfelt confession to Mary that was resentment and love in equal measure and is one of the show's strongest emotionally real moments and was really good for Dean to be able to express that, in S12.

DEAN: You left us. Alone. 'Cause Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family... was gone. And I... I had to be... more than just a brother. I had to be a father and I had to be a mother, to keep him safe. And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it. And you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of you. All of it was because of you. I hate you. (Deans voice breaks as tears run down his face) I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. I forgive you.

Also a reminder that forgiveness is not always for the recipient. Forgiveness is sometimes because the person needs to do the act of forgiving, for themselves. It's a catharsis.

And the ongoing deliberate irony some of the writers deployed, which is not Dean-shaming, or feelings-shaming him, but the irony that Dean is the most loving, most open, most hurt, most big-hearted character on the show while Dean himself thinks he's the angry one, he's good for nothing but the kill, and that's all he is--that cuts like a scalpel, in a good way.

continuing my New Queer Cinema education with the experts, or: if I have watched through all the dozens of queer films referenced in Supernatural I will go to the source on writers' social media for more. improvise adapt overcome

bonus liked post on the sublime queer art that informed our pivotal moment:

love it when we say the part about the Supernatural creatives' publicly known representation battle behind the scenes out loud