#riding lessons

First time back in the saddle since I sprained my wrist 6 weeks ago, and it feels so good! I really missed this little goober 💖

Peter is 18 and Siegfried is 22 in this scene, which is set in the Ostprignitz countryside in 1911. In Moth Vol 5, Siegfried’s engagement to a young noble lady is called off, which prompts the lady's brother to challange him to a pistol duel, preferring not to accept the duel, he leaves Königsberg and gets some horse riding lessons in the countryside. Peter has severe dyslexia which actually effects how your whole brain processes information, not just literacy, but he might also be read as an autistic character, the sort that is insensitive to sensations, in contrast to Siegfried, who's high masking aspergic and over-sensitive to sensations. So I hope you'll enjoy two neuro-divergent German men from the 1900's shouting at each other.

By Linda Spashett Storye_book - Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=7456158

I mean, look at this. The rider is clearly paying no attention to what's happening and is too busy trying to conceal her vitals to control the horse, so she's given it its head. Fine if the horse were a steady beast, but it's clearly a flighty sort and is already dancing about and borderline spooking at something.

Meanwhile she's sat on there with no saddle, only her bare cheeks on a rug. And the rug is falling off onto the ground.

I 100% am!

Working from oldest to newest, I:

- Left the a barn I had been at for about six months due to general dissatisfaction with the instructor.

- Rode for about three months with a new dressage instructor but then left due to end of the year/winter weather/holidays. She had no indoor and limited availability to lesson that didn't conflict with my work schedule. Plus I knew I was moving too far away to ride there in the spring so I just never went back.

- Didn't ride from January through August due to the aforementioned moving and then *dun dun dun* the pandemic became a thing.

- Started riding at a very large public riding stable unlike any I had ever been at before. Rode on average only 3 times a month. They then went on an end of the year break until January.

That leads me to now and frankly I don't know what to do with horseback riding. I just feel like I never have enough time to do it, or at least not enough time to ride enough to actually improve in a measurable way. Then there's the money. Lessons are anywhere from 55-85 for privates. Then if I wanted to ride more it would be hundreds of more dollars for a lease. I COULD spend that money but I sure as hell don't want to. Then there's the distance. Jersey traffic sucks and my job is 35 mins away from the closest barns, which would be 45-50 in rush hour afterwork. That limits my riding to the weekend, which again limits how much I can ride. Which limits how much I can improve.

I don't know. I just feel like I can barely ride anymore. I don't feel capable or confident when I get on a horse anymore. I feel like I missed my chance to ride often and ride well. It's disheartening.