Loss of Yesterday, Looking forward to Tomorrow ch 13
Note: One of my favorite lines is in this chapter :D
The night continued to draw on, that was until they heard a deafening gun shot. Making both Eva and Carl jump.
"What the hell was that?!" Eva yelled as she shot to her feet, ignoring the fact that Carl heard her curse. "Gimme that" she snatched the binoculars from Carl's hand and put it to her eyes. She pushed Carl behind her, as if that would somehow protect him.
Lori was first up the stairs, she grabbed Carl, "Is everything alright?" she asked, scared.
Eva shook her head, "I don't know…."
She handed the binoculars to Lori, "look for yourself" Lori did what she did, and saw exactly what she saw… nothing. That was when Eva noticed that Carl had ran out of the room. She saw him running across the field. Lori had yet to notice.
"Wait!" Eva yelled, Lori then noticed Carl running, "My baby!" she cried as she dashed down the stairs.
Lori and Eva were caught up by Hershel who held the women at arm's length. "What happened?" he asked.
"Carl slipped out! He's outside!" Hershel frowned as he readied his gun. They all understood the urgency. Eva held Lori back also, "Stay in here, I'll go get him."
She slipped on her jacket and good shoes. Flying down the stairs she briefly saw Glenn and Daryl around the corner. All that was left out there was Rick, Shane and Carl.
Eva came face to face with Carl and Rick, they were walking back towards the house. Nonchalantly talking.
"Oh thank God, we heard the guns!" she sighed. Rick sighed, knowing that Carl who had found them, was in for some trouble.
"Lori is scared out of her wits! We saw Carl running towards the gunshot!"
Rick sighed as he turned towards Carl, which was when his eye caught the herd coming towards the three.
His jaw dropped as he grabbed his boy close and grabbed Eva’s arm. "Oh my God! Go, go, go!" he ushered the two to run towards the barn.
"We have to get to the house!" Carl urged, "Tell the others!"
Rick crouched low and whispered, "We'll never get through that way!"
Rick shook his head, "No, stay with us." Rick grabbed Carl's shoulder, "You two, stay close. Go!" he rushed them towards the barn. They secured the door. The sound of the walkers converging on the door and the wood groaning under their weight made Eva panic, she couldn’t see a way out and flashbacks of when she had the gun to her head when she was at the school kept flitting threw her mind.
"We're surrounded!" She cried out in anguish. Her eyes spotted the dried patch where her best friend had died. Eva began to hyperventilate.
Rick grabbed her arm this time, "Calm down! We're not going to die today!" He helped a little as she tried to ground herself.
They could see the walkers face through the slots in the barn, they were already trying to tear it down. Rick looked around, trying to find a way out of the mess they were in. He saw jugs of gasoline.
"We're going to burn the barn down. That will attract the walkers, and we can get out safely. Quick! Grab a jug and pour it on the hay" he instructed.
Carl helped his dad, while Eva hesitated. "C'mon Eva!" Carl urged. It was too late.
"Oh Shit, ok. Up there! Hurry!" Rick urged Eva and Carl up into the rafters.
"What about you?" Carl asked, facing his father. Panic creeping into Carl also.
"I'll be right there." Rick tried to sooth Carl, he then handed him a lighter, "Drop the lighter when I say. We'll stop some of them from reaching the house. It will distract the others, this will give us a chance to make it back."
Rick got to his son's eye level, "You can do this" he encouraged his son. "Carl, I love you."
Eva, who was already in the rafters choked up, Rick was telling Carl this…. Because there was a chance they wouldn't make it out alive. " All right, go, go, go" He urged his son up.
Eva grabbed Carl once he got up, she wrapped her arms around him. They watched as Rick hit the doors, drawing more attention to him. The most heart pounding part was when he flung the doors open. Before him was at least thirty walkers. He was riling them up as he shuffled backwards toward the ladder. He hurriedly climbed the flimsy ladder. Once he got up he instructed Carl to throw the lighter.
Everything was engulfed in flames, the heat rising quickly. They were trapped. They could hear the cars outside. Maybe they would get out of this alive. Eva shuffled towards the barn window. "Okay, we might be able to jump if they keep them distracted enough."
Eva saw that the RV was coming towards them. They may be able to jump onto it safely. Rick waved Jimmy over, "Hey! Over here!" Jimmy parked as close as he could. Rick hopped onto the conjoined roof that kept the hay dry and some tools at the ready. He offered his hand to Carl who took it easily. Eva shook in her boots. There was a considerable jump to make, especially when you're scared witless, that she wasn't quite sure she could make. Her vision was blurring. She grabbed the wooden pillar for support.
"Eva! You have to jump!" Rick screamed. Eva shook her head, afraid. "Eva! Damnit! Do it now!"
Eva shook her head again, she could feel the heat of the flames licking her back. Rick inched forward and grabbed her arm, forcing her to jump. His hand not letting go he jumped onto the RV with Eva second and Carl third.
Eva could heard Jimmy's shouts of pain, she knew he had been bit, and most likely being eaten alive. Her stomach dropped. She couldn't save him, what would Beth think? Rick was first down the back ladder, he kicked a walker away from them.
He shot the one that fell, and another one that was coming towards them. Eva urged Carl down before she came down. The walkers that were caught on the fence reached for them. One caught her sleeve. Rick yanked her to his side. "Pay attention!"
Eva gulped in air as she nodded. Rick covered them as they ran. Eva took a quick detour to grab a tool. The pitchfork felt like a much needed shield in her arms, any weapon would have to suffice, but a pitchfork was preferable the best option.
Rick was not happy that she had left his side, "Damnit Eva, don't leave my side!"
Eva showed him her pitchfork, "I can defend us better now."
Eva could hear the shotgun as Glenn took out some walkers close to them. Eva ran behind Rick and Carl, trying to keep them safe. Eva hit a walker dead in the face, she kicked the corpse away from the three.
Rick took note that Eva was actively attempting to keep them alive, with her behind him and Carl sandwiched between them, Carl was probably the safest he will ever be.
Eva could see in the distance that the group was getting off the porch, they were going to make it to safety, which included Mom. Her heart warmed, even if she didn't survive her mother would. That put a spring in her step and an extra incentive to survive. Two walkers approached from the side, they were targeting Rick and Eva. The two adults took the walkers out quickly.
Rick was running towards the cars, they could possibly make it. They just needed to make it to the cars. "C'mon! We have to make it!" he ordered. He could see the blue pick-up truck lurching off the dirt and away from the farm. He could only hope that Lori was in one. There were only a few cars left.
The van was swamped with walkers, which left only about two or three cars left. The deafening sound of the shot gun told the three that Hershel was still on the farm, still defending the farm. They had to save him too!
"Rick! There's Hershel! We have to save him!" Eva pointed to Hershel, a walker was coming upon him without him noticing. The three ran to his aid. Rick shot the walker point blank. "Where's Lori? Did you see Lori?" Rick asked as he came closer to Hershel.
"And Mom! Did she escape in the truck?" Eva asked, holding Hershel's other shoulder.
"I don't know what happened, Rick. They just keep coming. It's like a plague, they're everywhere." Hershel looked to Rick. That foreboding feeling sunk inside Eva's gut.
"LORI! Did you see her?!" Rick growled, his patience was already thin, between keeping two incompetent people alive, and not knowing where his wife was, you couldn't fault him for having his temper flare now.
"No!" Hershel replied again, his face fell at the sight of his home being engulfed in flames and the undead.
"We have to go now!" Rick said, realizing that he might have lost his wife not once but twice now. "We have to find Mom and the others."
He shot a walker coming too close to them, "It's my farm!" Hershel feebly protested.
"Not anymore!" Rick sighed, He began to pull Hershel, Eva and Carl ran behind Rick, "C'mon! C'mon!"
They came to the old four door truck, Hershel was still attacking walkers, they didn't have the time! Eva already jumped into the back behind the driver's side.
"C'mon!" Hershel goaded them on, he attacked the one that advanced with the butt of his shotgun.
"HERSHEL!" Rick yelled, he wanted to leave now.
Hershel jumped into the front passenger side, Eva held Carl as they drove off. She could feel the boy sobbing into her side. She wanted to cry too, she could feel her throat closing up and her eyes watering. It was terribly hard to choke down the despair and tears.
Rick raced down the drive and onto the main highway. He didn't care for potholes nor any other bump in the road, once they got a reasonable way from the farm Rick slowed down and surveyed the emotion damage that was inside the truck. By now Carl's tears had dried up as he looked aimlessly forward. Eva's arm was around his shoulder. Eva in turn was staring out into the inky blackness, only illuminated by the moon. He could see the silver tracks of tears streaking down her face. Hershel was trying to get whatever last look of his farm, even if they were long gone.
The mood was dismal, two of the four inhabitants had everything they had ever held dear go up in flame and death. Their only hope was that their group survived.
"Where… Where do you think the rest of them met up?" Eva asked after a while, her voice cracked.
Rick shook his head, "I might have an idea."
He circled back to the highway, back towards home. This is where they lost Sophia the provisions they left still sat on the hood of a car. Carl and Rick exited the truck. Eva didn't want to step foot into a place that was not safe. Hershel left the car also, leaving Eva to herself in the car. She watched the men talk, she watched Rick comfort Carl the best way he knew how and for a moment Eva wished Mom was with them, to do the same. She wrapped her bare arms around her torso, feeling cold and vulnerable.
She hoped Mom was safe with the other people, she could really use a hug at this moment. She watched Carl walk away and away from the visual protection of Rick and Hershel. She jumped into action, trying to quell the rising depression that was threatening to swallow her. "Carl! Wait!" she followed him. He went to look at other cars, to get provisions.
They walked a few cars back. "Leave me alone!" Carl hissed over his shoulder, "I can do this myself."
Eva stuck pretty close to him, "I know, but I can use a friend right now. That was my home too you know."
Carl paused for a moment but didn't look at Eva. "Sorry."
They opened a door, Eva popped the trunk while Carl looted through the glove compartment. Inside the trunk was a blanket and a couple bottles of water. "Hey Carl, I found some water. Let's bring it back to the truck. I'm sure we'll need this."
Rick accompanied them a few minutes later, the wordlessly worked through a few cars, not enough to get a good sweep but enough to take a few necessary items. Soon they heard the telltale sounds of the groans of a walker, maybe even two. Rick wordlessly instructed Eva and Carl to hide. He prepared his gun, they were forced to just hide. They didn't want to attract the herd that may just be a mile or so away.
"I don't know how much longer we can stay here" Hershel whispered.
"I'm not leaving without Mom" Carl said as he turned to his dad, to get some sort of confirmation.
"So, we're just gonna walk away?" Rick asked, trying to make Hershel understand they needed to stay. "Not knowing if my wife, your girls are still out there?" Rick gestured to both of them. "How could we possibly live with that?"
"You've got only one concern now- Just one… keeping him alive." Hershel said softly. "Nature may be throwing us a curveball, but that law is still true." Rick seemed to ponder this a moment. They were both right. Hershel looked to Eva beside him, "Beside, we can survive on our own as we wait for our own."
Eva looked flabbergasted, she didn't want to separate from Rick but neither did she want to completely forget about her mother.
In the end, concern for Carl won out, Rick sunk to his knees before Carl. "Carl." He pleaded, "It's not safe here. I'm sorry."
Carl looked angry, which quickly broke down into tears.
Eva shushed Rick, "Wait! I can hear something" the group of four stopped. They could hear the rumble of a motorcycle in the distance. They all looked to their left, surprise and relief flooded their face. Daryl and Carol idled up to them.
Followed by the blue-grey Hyundai covered in blood and guts. Behind that, the old beat up blue pickup truck. Hershel looked overjoyed, almost at a loss for words. Eva quickly looked around for her own familiar face. The happy reunion felt like a miracle. Rick shook Daryl's hand. Maggie from out of nowhere ran up to her father and hugged him fiercely.
Carl ran up to Lori as she ran to him. She scooped the boy into her arms and showered him with kisses Rick followed suit and hugged his family. Eva's eyes swept the group, waiting for Mom to pop out of any of the cars.
While everybody was overjoyed around them, Eva began to visibly deflate, was mom hurt in the back? Why wasn't she coming out to greet her?
"Where'd you find everyone?" Rick asked as he stood, he took a head count of who was here. Nine people in total, they were missing a few people. His eyes fell onto Eva who once again looked like she was holding back tears. Her mother didn't make it. It was dawning on her that Eva was now an orphan. he was partially listening to what Daryl was saying.
"well, those guys tail lights zigzagging all over the road, figured it has to be Asian, driving like that" Daryl remarked with a wiry grin.
"Good one" Glenn sarcastically replied. Despite the sarcasm, Rick could tell he was happy.
"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked, by now Daryl realized that their group shrunk considerable, especially now that no cars were following.
"We're the only ones who made it so far," Rick replied.
"Shane?" Lori asked, as she stood. It drove a knife through Rick's heart when she uttered his name; the wound still fresh. Rick shook his head to his wife.
"Mom?" Eva whispered. Lori looked to Eva, Beth and T-Dawg shook their heads.
"She was pulled from my grasp" Beth whispered as she was cradled in Hershel's arms.
"We couldn't save her" Lori added. Eva sighed, her head hung low, she shuffled back towards the car, telling them she needed some time to herself.
The group watched in sadness as Eva jumped into the car they had arrived in. They could hear the barely restrained screams coming from inside. Beth wanted to go comfort Eva but Hershel kept a grip on his youngest child, now was not the time. Every person had their own way of greving.
The rest of the group asked about those who they had lost, Andrea, Jimmy, and Shane. None of that mattered to Eva who was in the pit of despair. Eva pulled the blanket up to her chin. Her chest tightened. The group decided to continue heading south. Eva barely registered that Rick, Lori and Carl had entered the truck, she closed her eyes, trying to block out the world. Her thoughts were in chaos.
Lori turned to Eva, she knew the girl wasn't asleep. "I know you may not want to hear this Eva. But, your mother's death, it saved all of us. We were able to get away from there because of her."
Eva's dull eyes looked to Lori's brown ones, "Thanks. But if you don't mind. I'd rather not talk about it." She turned away, "I'd rather she not have died for others."
The group continued to drive till dark and their fuel tanks on empty. The needed a place to lie low for the night. They found an old broken home, the bricks held off the cold for a small bit. They all crowded around the small fire. It was an awkward time. Rick had informed the group they were all infected. Everybody who dies will come back as a walker, nobody was safe.
Everybody was tense that night, it was doubtful that anybody would sleep. Every sound startled Beth, every crunch made Carl jump. The supposable peaceful sound of the waterfall didn't put anybody at ease.
Eva could hear Carol mumbling to Daryl, telling him that they were not safe with Rick around. Eva sighed, she didn't like Carol, she viewed her as a weak woman, but was she any different?
Daryl brushed Carol off, telling her that he was okay with Rick. Carol was trying to turn Daryl against Rick by calling him a henchman.
Daryl of course saw right through this, asking Carol point black about what she wanted. She wanted a man of honor, Rick of course had that. Carol just didn't see it.
Hearing that, Maggie began to talk with Glenn, "I think we should take our chances."
Hershel reprimanded Maggie, "Don't be foolish. There is no food, no fuel, no ammo."
The trees cracked. Eva sat up straight, the possibly drowsiness left her.
"What was that?" Beth asked.
"Could be anything." Daryl replied, he stood up and readied his bow. "It could be a raccoon, possum."
"A walker?" Glenn asked. Rick appeared from the other side, also intrigued by the sound.
Carol began to panic, "We need to leave. What are we waiting for?" she asked.
They tried to pinpoint the noise. Rick looked to his group, "The last thing we need is for everybody to be running off in the dark." He shifted his stance, "We don't have the vehicles and no one's traveling on foot."
"Don't panic" Hershel said to Beth as he squeezed her arm.
"I'm not" Maggie defended, "I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through here. We need to move" Maggie urged.
Rick turned to his group, "No one is going anywhere" he left no room for argument. Everybody looked at Rick incredulously, didn't he see the danger?
"Do something." Carol challenged.
"I am doing something!" Rick shot back, "I'm keeping this group together. Alive." he pointed to Carol which was also dangerously holding the gun. "I've been doing that all along. No matter what." He turned towards the group, Eva could tell he was angry, "I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people! For Christ's sake!" He yelled, even if it was in a hushed tone.
Carl looked at his father, his jaw nearly to the ground. He didn't know. Lori held Carl in her arms, if not a little tighter than before. Nobody knew how to react, they didn't know that Rick had killed Shane.
Rick could read the group easily, "You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us."
Eva stood, the cold night penetrated the blanket she was holding. She was going to say something in Shane's defense, but found nothing.
Rick continued, "He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my brain. He gave me no choice!" Eva gasped, she didn't want to hear more, and she reckoned that nobody really wanted to hear more, "He was my friend, but he came after me." At this point Carl was sobbing into his mother's shoulder, she rocked Carl to try and calm him. "My hands are clean." Rick defended.
"Maybe you people are better off without me." Rick concluded, "Go ahead." He gestured to the woods, "I say there's a place for us, but maybe—maybe that's just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm just fooling myself again, why don't you go and find out for yourself?" he asked, looking towards the woods. Partly for effect, partly it gave him a second to scan the perimeter. "Send me a postcard!"
He urged the naysayers to leave, "Go on, there's the door." Nobody moved, they were stuck in stunned silence, "You can do better? Let's see how far you get." Rick looked to Carol, knowing that she was talking behind his back. She looked scared, and stunned. "No takers? Fine. But get this one straight, you're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore." He shook his head, his speech was done. People looked to one another for support. Nobody moved. Rick walked away. They were all staying.
The night drug on, the cold settled into everybody. Eva sat by the fire. Her eyes may have been focusing on the fire but her mind was miles away. The fire began to die, Eva's mind was made up.
She needed to leave. She noticed that most people were asleep. Daryl was on watch. Eva stood and stretched her body. Bones popped and her muscles screamed. She walked toward Daryl. He eyed her suspiciously, she wasn't on watch.
"Hey" was his curt reply. They both knew what was going to happen. "You leaving?" he asked.
Eva nodded, "Yeah. I need to go back, get some closure."
Daryl shifted his stance, "its suicide. Besides, your last attempt at closure nearly got you killed."
Eva shrugged, "Yeah. If you see me as a walker, please burry me by the biggest tree."
Daryl nodded, "We'll see you around." Daryl refused to acknowledge that she might die. She took her pitchfork from the bed of the tuck. She took one look back at her family, her group. She could stay and never have closure, she could remain with them. But she couldn't. She turned back the way they had all came. She began to run. Needing to get as far away as possible before sunrise.
Once the sun arose, Rick was first to wake. He did a head count and noticed that they were down a number. His shoulders tensed, one person was gone and he knew who it was. He clenched his jaw, angry that she had left. He didn't think that she would leave, he would have bet that Carol would leave; but not Eva.
