#retransition

For several years, I thought I was a detransitioner. It turns out that I was just a plural system and didn't know about it (we'd had a switch in main fronters in my median system from a genderfluid person to a cis girl).

To me, it seemed like my identity had changed. All I knew was that I'd used to think I was trans and now thought I was a cis person.

It was really hard to have trans people tell me, over and over, that they believed everyone had the right to self identify, but I didn't. They believed everyone had the right to bodily autonomy, but I didn't. They believed everyone had the right not to be misgendered, but I didn't.

My partner and a few friends stood by me and I had to watch the rest of my friends leave. Any new trans people that I met during that time wanted nothing to do with me, leaving me extremely isolated and alone. Terfs knew this and reached out to me many times to try to get me on their side.

All this, and I *wasn't even detrans*. Most trans people think they're cis at some point in their lives. All other detrans people I met during this time were queer and were using that label for reasons like going from identifying as a binary trans person to identifying as non-binary.

You can be a man now. You can be a man in the future. You can live your true self in the bedroom, in life, in your hopes and dreams.

This is a post meant to make its followers aware of whether or not their identities are respected, and aware of its harmful stances.

We do not encourage harassment of this individual.

[PT: We do not encourage harassment of this individual.]

It has yet to address its harmful posts, which bothers us greatly. It needs to make it known whether it has changed its views, or if it is going to double down on its harmful standpoints.

Status-quo-hater has, in this post and this post:

1.

-Said that to identify as a trans woman, you have to have "transitioned into womanhood" - while simultaneously saying that non-binary people who are SPETE (someone perisex expected to estrogenize) cannot identify as trans women (thus equating non-binary womanhood to binary womanhood, when they are separate experiences.) This directly harms non-binary women who are SPETE (ie; demigirls, girlfluxes, multigender women, etc), as it is treating them as either a cisgender woman (which is malgendering by only acknowledging their womanhood) or genderless/gender neutral (which is misgendering by ignoring their womanhood), and implies that they have no social or physical transition towards womanhood necessary. That is untrue. Non-binary women who are SPETEdo have to transition towards womanhood - it's just a different type of womanhood than what was previously established. This falls into the same narrative as calling them "basically cis." It also separates non-binary women who are SPETE from non-binary women who are SPETA, by allowing some non-binary women to use the trans women label, but not the other ones. This is hypocritical considering it has said in the past that it doesn't think trans people should be defined by their assigned gender/sex.

2.

-Said that trans women who are SPETE are misusing the "trans women" label, which completely ignores re-transitioning women (ie; "detrans" women, who are re-transitioning into womanhood.) Is their transition back into womanhood not a transition?

3.

-Told plurals how to identify their genders, as a singlet. It has no right to input on this whatsoever, and should leave that to the plurals within its community. (We swear, no matter how plurals identify their genders, singlets will always argue and never be satisfied.)

4.

i think people who see me see me as either a transfem or a gnc cis guy, i've been mistaken for a transfem in public and online

Expecting their hips and curves to fall back in the same place that they were before starting with the transition and becoming more frustrated at the changes they made to themselves.

It's fictional but the legend of the amazonians who cut their breasts to shoot bows better comes to mind too

My mother had hers removed due to cancer, as with all her sisters. Its strange but it does make me feel somewhat closer to her experience. Super duper high likelihood for me as well which was part of it.

Many trans women have said theyd rather kill themselves than do what I did. I get it. It just feels like "you should of killed yourself" which is kinda rude.

Death before detransition is a sentiment I understand. However I'm sure glad I didnt kill myself , cause I can retry this. Complex feelings about that phrase

Even with big ol slappies I never passed. I need extensive ffs. The material and genetic factors in my life prevented a successful transition.

That being said , I am really enjoying where I am. I feel like I'm getting one over on the cis. I feel less detectable to them but as detectable to other trans people.

Switching to injectable estrogen was a huge part of this. Infinite thanks to @droct0 for encouraging me to do so. Idc how masculine I look I'm never stopping the girl juice.

It's not a position I'd want anyone else to be in. But it's where I live and I'm finding ways to enjoy it. I'm learning how to jujitsu stuff I don't like into a better form.

Might get a pair of bolt ons but then again maybe not. Armor fits better now. Fencing is easier. My back hurts less. Shooting guns is easier. It feels subversive to be shirtless somehow, even tho I'm allowed.

It's also why I use the femboy tag. Before that term lost all meaning it used to be kinda shitty slang for trans women / boymoders. I feel it's the most feminine term that describes my body. Unfortunately. Again id rather look like a normal lady but here we are.