Top Posts Tagged with #renjun fic

pairing: fencer!renjun x reader genre: fluff, angst, warnings: some insults thrown back and forth and like one swear word word count: 19.9k synopsis: you and renjun didn’t enjoy spending time together. any interaction the two of you had always led to a verbal competition, each of you desperately trying to beat and put down the other. and those encounters translated into your fencing. as much as you and renjun butted heads, he was the best fencer in the school and his help was invaluable. but soon it starts to get difficult to separate the sport from your relationship. let the battle begin. → part of the “game, set match” universe

i. let’s be positive this year! ew, no, never mind

The basketball hall was electric, buzzing with the noises of people chatting to the friends they hadn’t seen over the summer break. You squeezed your way through the crowd, your eyes locked on your two best friends you could see sitting down already, waiting patiently for the obligatory “Welcome back” speech to begin.

The stands that they used for spectators during games had been pulled out to provide seating, so you had to awkwardly climb through and over people to get to where you needed to be. Each year was given a different place to meet, so they could induction talks specific to each year group. And this year, your year group was assigned to the basketball court. You couldn’t help but be glad that basketball didn’t have preseason training, at least there weren’t a bunch of sweaty men running around in here a few days before. That smell tends to linger in a space like this.

“Shit, shit, shit.” You repeated over and over under your breath as you dodged flying hands and excited people like they were lasers. You could really do with not getting hit in the face by a passing gesture this morning.

You had woken up with an iron-clad plan to enjoy this year, to make the most of it and not let anything disrupt that. However, an alarm clock malfunction, a late bus driver and a heavy bag weighing you down were currently all working against that plan.

But you were still trying to manifest it - a positive year... even though it was already getting harder.

You were nearly there, only two more large steps away and you could see your friends’ faces break out into large smiles as they spotted you. You jumped up the last little bit, nearly misstepping but thankfully getting caught by your favourite people.

“And she made it!” Yuna greeted you as you grinned back, raising your arms in celebration as you finally sat down next to them. “Here I was thinking you were going to be late.”

“You and me both.” You groaned, rolling your eyes as you shrugged your bag off your shoulder and onto the floor between your feet. “My alarm malfunctioned, so I had about five minutes to get ready before running after my bus like some kind of crazy person.” The girls snorted, both of them seemingly enjoying your misfortune. “It’s not funny! I looked like I was possessed or something, like, I was screaming and waving and I stepped in a puddle... I’m so close to being done with this year already.”

“It’s been five minutes!” Winter argued. “Plus, I thought you were going to be positive this term.”

“You did say that.” Yuna insisted, and you groaned defeatedly.

Since you had started school, it had been the three of you. You had been through everything together, highs and lows, and you knew too much about each other to ever stop being friends.

“Did you not hear how my morning went? Clearly, God has been laughing at me from the start. He’s chosen me as his personal victim! I’m giving up and accepting that I’m going to struggle through this year.”

Students all around you started to take their seats, people quieting down but never falling fully silent. It was always the nature of the first day back, there was an excitement in the air about what this next year would bring.

You saw the same few figures you always did leading the talk, your principle, your head of year and a few heads of various subjects. As the principle began his speech, each teacher walked up to a different row on the raked seating, handing out a piled of papers for everyone to take one of, then pass along.

You followed suit, picking one page of each colour before giving them to Yuna to do the same. You flicked through them, seeing the usual information about student guidance, the counsellor and the list of after school activities. That last page crinkled slightly in your hand as you gripped it, nerves flaring through your system as you thought of what was to come.

Yuna and Winter’s eyes were burning holes in the side of your head, but you ignored them, staring pointedly ahead of you, pretending to listen to the same boring talk you got every year.

---

The induction always seemed to last ages, but to be fair, it was an hour and a half long. The teachers sent you away for a break before lessons began, and the three of you bolted to the cafeteria, wanting to get a snack before they were all gone.

The chair made a scraping sound as you pulled it back, plopping yourself down in it as you opened up the small packet of mini biscuits you grabbed.

“Nothing beats a chocolate chip cookie.” You declare, throwing one over your head to catch it in your mouth. “Except maybe a blueberry muffin.”

“How do you always catch it every single time? I don’t get it.” Yuna whined, as she unscrewed the cap on her water bottle. “God, I know it’s good for the environment, but I hate these attached lids.”

Winter chuckled at her, then turned her attention back to you. “You know, if you actually eat breakfast before you came to school, you wouldn’t be so hungry by 10am.”

“Nah, I’d rather have an extra twenty minutes of sleep than some buttered toast.” You shrugged. “Besides, these cookies are what I’m going to enjoy about this year. Best part of the day so far, after being back with you guys of course.”

“Well, you’re about to regret that. Look at your activities form.” Yuna demanded gleefully. The girl may be sunshine personified but at that moment you wanted to smother the light out of her. “I’ve chosen a special something for you.”

“I can’t believe you let her do this y/n.” Winter sighed. “What are the odds you’d lose that bet?”

“Evidently not in my favour. Look, neither of us thought she would actually jump.” You groaned, thinking back to the summer. The three of you had gone away for a week to a house by the seaside, and there was a beautiful cliff there with people jumping off it. And with Yuna’s fear of heights (and water, even though she’d never tell anyone) you thought she would never do that, so you made a bet. If she did, you got to choose all her extracurricular activities, and if she did, then she could choose yours. Well... one jump and a soaking wet but annoyingly smug Yuna later, you were regretting your choices.

It was a seemingly unimportant bet; clubs are just clubs, it’s not like it would be too bad. Then Winter reminded you that you were going to be doing it for at least an hour a week and that hour could drag out if it was something you hated. And, god forbid, Yuna chooses something that requires you to do external work or meetings on weekends.

So now you felt like you’d rather jump off a cliff than let her make this choice.

You reached down for your bag, rummaging around to find the papers you put in there earlier. You pulled it out, smoothing out the edge you’d manage to crumple slightly earlier, and begrudgingly handing it over.

The second it reached her fingers, she pulled her body over it, covering the words on them as she flicked through the pages until she found the one that stated what activity you’d be doing. Your school let you sign up online before the term started so Yuna had come over to your house a few weeks ago to do that for you. You squirmed in your seat, trying desperately to see what circle of hell you were going to be vanquished to, but to no avail.

Once she was finally found what she was looking for, she moved away, allowing the big reveal of what your club would be. When you read the singular word, your jaw dropped, and you blinked a few times just to make sure you had got it right.

“Fencing?” You said, turning back to see her grinning at you like the Cheshire cat.

“Yep.” She replied, popping the ‘p’. “You used to be so good, and you can’t give that up.”

“No.” You replied flatly. “I am not putting on one of those sweaty bee-keeper helmets again.”

Yuna laughed, her mockingly cheerful tone annoying you to your core as she replied. “A bet’s a bet! Plus, you’ll look hot with a sword.”

“But I’ll be working with Huang Renjun.” You said slowly through gritted teeth.

“Yep.” She repeated, popping the ‘p’ again.

Yuna wasn’t even trying to hide her glee. It was no secret you weren’t Huang Renjun’s biggest fan. You wouldn’t go as far as to say you hated the guy, but he ruined your joint science project when you were eight, and since then, every word he said sounded like nails on a chalkboard. The logical part of your brain knew that what happened was not a big enough deal to be this frustrated at him all the time, but younger you was still upset, and it didn’t help that Renjun seemed to bite back at you with the same force that you would bite at him.

“Renjun isn’t so bad y/n.” Winter said, trying to make you feel better about the situation.

You kept your eyes on your name on the page, hoping that enough force from you would melt the words away.

"You never know, it might be fun. Besides, at least this time there’s no baking soda volcano to go wrong.” She continued teasingly, raising her eyebrow at you. Right on time, the bell rang, signalling the end of your short break. Now that was a sound you hadn’t missed.

“Thank you so much for the recap of my life story featuring Renjun. I don’t wanna think about him, let’s just go to class.” You grumbled as you all stood up and made your way into the corridor. You could hear Winter silently lecturing you on being a grown-up and leaving the past behind, and you were sure it was coming verbally at some point, but right now she seemed to settle for enjoying the amusement in your situation.

You all said goodbye to each other, Winter heading one way, which left you and Yuna to go in the opposite direction together. After noticing you’d walked off already. Yuna quickly jogged after you, her smile softening from its usual teasing nature to a comforting, gentle one.

“Y/n, it’ll be fine.” She reassured you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You know that I didn’t do this to make your life horrible, right? I didn’t choose fencing so you’d have to be with Renjun, but he’s involved with the club, and I couldn’t avoid that. I chose it because you used to love it, and I don’t want you to lose that. I’m hoping that you can ignore him and just enjoy doing something that you’re good at. You have said to me that sometimes you wish you hadn’t given it up.”

“Oh, stop making me like you. Just let me be annoyed at you for once?” You groaned, unable to stop yourself from smiling at your best friend. Her grin grew once more, relaxing at the knowledge that you weren’t actually angry at her.

“Come on! We don’t want to be late!” With that, Yuna threw her arm over your shoulders, and you headed off together.

As much as you hated to admit it, she did have a point. You used to love fencing as a kid. Your mum used to take you to lessons twice a week, and you had gotten quite good. Only once you grew up a bit, you found yourself dropping to one lesson a week, and then you began to stop enjoying going. You kept wishing you had other things to do, and it became a chore rather than something you loved, so for the past year, you stopped. But there were definitely times when you wished you’d kept it going and pushed through that difficult part. Maybe Yuna did give you a second chance at that...

But why, dear god, why did it have to be with Huang Renjun?

---

By this point you fully believed you just needed to abandon your manifestation - you weren’t sure it really worked anyway. Besides, why would you exhaust yourself trying to be all sunshine and rainbows this year if it seemed to already be determined to be horrible?

The ringing of the bell echoed throughout the school, signalling the end of the day. For a first day back, it wasn’t too bad. You didn’t have too much to do, so it was a bit of a slow day, but you knew it was going to be picking up soon. There are only two years left in this place, and stuff was about to get serious.

Even if it was a good first day, you still couldn’t wait to get out of there, so you quickly packed up the textbooks you’d acquired throughout the various lessons of the day and headed back to your locker. You found yourself leaving in the utter haze that was the entire student body attempting to go in ten different directions at the same time. It took a lot of pushing and easing your way through the gradually dispersing crowd to finally make it to where you needed to be. Luckily enough, the corridor with your locker wasn’t that close to an exit, so it was pretty empty, allowing you some peace and quiet to open it. You placed your books neatly inside, whilst also knowing that within two weeks, your locker was going to look like a bomb had gone off inside of it, and grabbed the few things you did need before shoving them into your bag and heading off home. You also wanted to enjoy the week you had free before fencing started. With it not being registered as a main sport, and instead a regular club, it began in the second week of term.

In order to reach the exit you needed, you ended up passing the board for extracurricular activities. They should be updated now to show who is doing what club or sport. You looked down the corridor out of habit, and you saw someone looking at the sheets. Normally, you would have looked away and kept walking, but you recognised who this person was. Huang Renjun.

He traced the sheets with his finger, clearly looking for something, and you recognised him stopping in the area where you assumed the fencing sheet was. He dragged his hand down the page before suddenly pausing, a frown appearing on his face.

Assuming this was caused by the sight of your name, you rolled your eyes, restraining yourself from letting out a huff that would spark him to notice you there. The whole point of enjoying your week before fencing started was to enjoy that time without Renjun. So, you bit your tongue and headed home to relax.

ii. it’s all yuna’s fault

And before you knew it, your week of freedom had come to a very fast end.

The final bell rang, echoing through the silent classroom as students all around looked up to check the time. Some began putting their things away immediately whilst others kept working, wanting to finish their question or the point they were making before heading home.

You, however, leaned back in your chair and stared up at the ceiling. A deep breath left you as you thought towards what your day is going to be like. Begrudgingly you leaned down to grab your bag, filling it with the notebook and textbook on your desk. before slinging it over your shoulder.

The classroom door squeaked as you pushed it open, and, stood there waiting for you, was Yuna.

“How did you get here so fast the bell literally just went?” You wondered.

“I ran.” She grabbed your hand, skipping you off down the corridor. “Come on, fencing time!”

You let her pull you through the school, and she finally let go of your hand once you reached the multipurpose sports hall. Her hands moved to your back, forcefully pushing you through the door.

You whirled back to look at her. “Are you gonna come in and watch?” You asked sarcastically.

“Okay, first of all,” Yuna held up one finger at you. “You can drop the attitude. Second of all, I’m just making sure you don’t chicken out.”

A sigh escaped you as you grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

Yuna nodded, squeezing your hand back before turning on her heel and walking in the direction of the car park.

You faced the door, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves before entering.

The room appeared in front of you, you saw various students warming up, some already in their protective gear, others just standing and chatting. It wasn’t a huge group, maybe twelve or so, including yourself. And across the room, standing by himself, practicing a few moves, was Renjun.

Even though you didn’t like him, you had to admit, there was a way that he moved which was nothing short of jaw-dropping. He was graceful yet still held that element of deadly precision.

You walked away before he could spot you, heading to the changing rooms to get ready. There was a locker there already waiting for you, you’d come to it last week to put your old fencing uniform and foil in, giving you less to carry around today. Huffing at yourself, you got ready, sliding the protective clothes over you and putting your foil trustily by your side. Your hand reached for your helmet, stopping for a second as you touched it.

In that moment, everything came back to you. You heard your old coach’s voice, shouting instructions, saw flashes of the drills you used to practice for hours on end, saw the tournaments you won, and you heard yourself and Renjun arguing with each other over and over again throughout the years.

“Get out of my head.” You muttered to yourself through gritted teeth.

You tucked your helmet under your arm and shut your locker harshly, walking out into the main hall just in time for the coach to arrive.

“Alright! Welcome to fencing everybody.” He announced, and you noted how his demeanour hadn’t changed a bit in the last year since you’d trained with him. His eyes scanned the group before landing on you. “And welcome back to some. Quickly before we start, you’ll find your fencing uniform in your named locker as I see some of you already have, you’ll need to put that on first. It will come with your helmet, and your foil.” He lifted up each item to demonstrate them, the helmet in his left hand, and the fencing sword in his right. “After that we’ll pair up and get started.”

People scattered, running off to get changed with barely contained excitement. Your coach flashed you a familiar smile, one you couldn’t help but return. Maybe Winter was right, this might be fun.

“I didn’t think you’d be brave enough to show your face here again.”

A sharp voice cut through your reminiscing.

Huang Renjun.

You turned slowly, seeing his smirking face looking at you. God, you wanted to slap that stupid smirk right off his mouth.

“I didn’t think you’d still be this pathetic. And yet, here we are.” You shot back, your jaw clenched so hard you were worried you would break it.

His eyes narrowed in that telltale way they always did when you got under his skin. A smirk flashed across your own face at that, knowing you had won the quick exchange.

“Renjun! Y/n! Pair up.” Your coach’s voice cut through the tension and both of you swung around to face him, complaints and begs of other options flying out of both of you. “Zip it! You’re the only two here of your skill level so you’ll be pairing up. And there isn’t going to be another word about it. You’re each other’s match.”

“Of course.” You muttered.

“Typical.” Renjun groaned to himself.

This was supposed to be his year. The coach had asked him to help lead fencing, and Renjun had been bouncing off the walls since the beginning of term. He thought he would be training with his coach one on one, and helping teach the newer students, yet here he was, trapped with the one person he couldn’t stand. Renjun didn’t know what it was about you, but you agitated him more than anyone else every could. And that included Haechan.

He pulled his helmet over his head, the familiar feeling calming him down slightly as he walked away from you to your training area. The two of you were put at the back, with the coach focusing on the newcomers towards the front. You rolled your eyes and followed suit, hand tightening around the hilt of your foil.

You two faced each other, both staring down the other person yet knowing neither of you was going to back down without one hell of a fight.

“En Garde!” Your coach’s voice echoed throughout the hall as you took a deep breath. You really hoped you remembered how to do this.

You took your stances, waiting for him to call the words that would allow the fire inside of you to have an outlet.

“Prêts? Allez!”

Renjun lunged. He wasn’t going to waste any time. If he could prove how much better he was then maybe this was the only time he would have to fence with you. After all, you hadn’t played in a year and Renjun had trained non-stop. You were no match for him.

You knew Renjun was a better fencer than you. You were out of practice and, if you were being honest, he always had been. But you were stubborn. And you weren’t going to let him bully you into giving up. But you weren’t expecting that first lunge.

You instinctively parried, stopping his harsh movements and responded quickly with a riposte. Your counterattack surprised him, but of course, he was ready for it.

It didn’t take much for the sport to begin coming back to you. You felt like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz when he got his joints oiled. Your body moved on its own, years of training allowed you to act without thinking.

The match wasn’t pretty. It was chaotic, with fury and insults flying left and right.

“Your stance is sloppy.” Renjun taunted as he lunged again.

You parried and retorted. “Your face is sloppy.”

“You’re leaving your left side wide open.”

“Yet you still can’t reach me!” You shot back, thrusting forward.

Neither of you noticed the other fencers that had gathered around to watch this cage match. Whispers flying around the group about the two of you as the scene in front of them unfolded. Your duel wasn’t just fencing, it was a grudge fuelled match years in the making.

By the end you were both panting, glaring at each other through your masks. Your coach, however, was unimpressed.

“Y/n! Renjun! This is fencing, not street fighting.” He barked. “If you two want to fight each other so badly you can, the both of you can train twice a week with each other. One with me, and one independently. Now hit the showers!”

Renjun didn’t hesitate, immediately storming off to the locker room to change. You pulled off your mask, staring down at it for a second before leaving yourself.

This was going to be a long term.

iii. he was a (breakfast) fairy

A yawn escaped you as you stretched your arms above your head, feeling the gentle pull on your muscles as you did. It was another independent session between you and Renjun and they had quickly and, not to mention easily, become the least favourite part of your week.

The sound of the door opening echoed through the empty hall, but you ignored it. You knew who it was. For the last three weeks, the two of you had trained two hours a week together and every second of it had you wishing you were holding a real sword.

Renjun didn’t hold back either, he wasn’t going to let you slow down his training, so he’d made it abundantly clear to you that you had to catch up, and catch up fast. Annoyingly, you had managed to do so in the few weeks since you’d started which, once again, completely ruined Renjun’s only hope of trying to prove you were holding him back.

He had never fought an opponent like you. There was a fire in the way you fought him, this pure determination not to lose to him that forced him to think of new ways to overpower you during a match. One thing was for sure, you kept him on his toes.

Once he was finally changed, he re-emerged into the training hall, noticing you holding one foot up to your back, stretching out your hamstrings. He may not be enjoying having to spend so much time with you, but in doing so he had noticed your energy seeming to get lower every single session. You currently looked as though one nudge from him would knock you completely off balance. He raised an eyebrow at that. You had always had good balance, and it had annoyed the hell out of him because it meant you rarely fell for his fake outs in a match as you could readjust yourself faster than most. So why were you struggling to stand on one leg?

“Hey.” He called out, and you turned your head sideways to acknowledge him. “Why do you look so tired?”

You let your leg go, settling down back onto both feet as you turned your body around to face him. The frown on his face lifted slightly as he caught sight of your face, the exhaustion clear in your features. A flicker of something passed over him, one that if you didn’t know better, you would have mistaken for concern.

“Dunno.” You shrugged. “I’m just finding it harder to get through the day without my energy dropping to almost zero.”

“Well, have you eaten enough?” He asked, walking towards you, his helmet securely tucked under his left arm.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Yes, Dad. I had the wrap for lunch thank you.”

“And for breakfast?”

“I don’t eat breakfast.”

Renjun head snapped towards you at your statement. That would be why you look the way you do. He couldn’t believe you were skipping the most important meal of the day, especially when you two were training as hard as you were. No wonder you were tired.

“What?” You continued. “I’d prefer to sleep, besides, there’s never anything in my house, and I don’t want to spend money on it every day on my way in.”

“Yeah, you barely make it in on time as it is.”

You just knew he couldn’t resist the obvious dig at you. You were barely halfway through the term, and you rolled your eyes so often you were sure you were going to be able to see your brain before winter break.

“Right, got it. Can we just get started?” You muttered, pulling your helmet over your head firmly and getting into position.

Renjun followed your lead, covering his own face and raising his foil.

“Just don’t collapse on me. If you do, I’m not carrying you to the nurse.” He warned.

“As if you could play hero.” You chuckled, the idea of Renjun running through the halls carrying you being quite amusing to you. “I’d be lucky if you even told anyone where I was.”

“Yeah, you would.” The conversation ended there; a silent nod sent between the two of you as you began to fence.

And, for the first time in his life, Renjun held back when he fought.

---

Renjun placed the drink on his tray, gripping the sides as he walked through the cafeteria to where the boys were sat. While doing so, he passed your table. You were hunched over, laughing at some story Winter was telling and he leaned his head down just enough to check that you had something on your plate. Your laughed echoed through his head as he closed in on the table with his own friends, shaking off the sound as he arrived.

He flopped down in the seat next to Jaemin. Jeno and Haechan were both already there as well, both of them already eating, and he could see Chenle and Jisung queueing for food.

He quickly grabbed a bite of food, hunger taking over him as he chewed.

“So... Renjun.” Chenle slid into the seat opposite him, a knowing grin on his face that made Renjun immediately dread whatever was coming next. “How’s fencing?”

Renjun dropped his fork, huffing as irritation took over his body.

“Why would you do that to me? I was having such a good day, and you had to go and ruin it.” He groaned.

All five boys around the table struggled to hide their amusement as chuckles were badly turned into coughs. He shot a death glare around the group at their reactions, yet this only fuelled them further, now half of them properly laughing at him.

“It’s not funny!” Renjun complained. “I thought I was going to be helping coach this year and get some one on one training and yet now, I’m stuck with her.”

“Technically, it’s still one on one training, just not with who you thought it would be.” Jisung reasoned, tilting his head in feigned innocence.

“Jisung’s right.” Jeno spoke up. He was obviously trying to calm Renjun down, but considering he was still chuckling himself it wasn’t working very well. “You’re still training for a few hours a week, and y/n is a good fencer, even you know that.”

“Well, yeah I know that but- hang on, how do you know that?” Renjun quizzed. Fencing wasn’t a popular sport here so how Jeno could have heard about y/n’s skill, Renjun couldn’t wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like he spoke highly of you to the boys.

“One of the guys on my team’s sister fences. He said she played y/n in a tournament a while back and apparently, she was amazing. I heard she didn’t lose a single game that day, so maybe, you’ve met your match.” Jeno shrugged. Well, that would be how Jeno knew. The lacrosse team had a reputation for gossiping and somehow knowing everything before anyone else.

“Look, she’s not ‘my match’. She’s not some brilliant person. She’s infuriating. She doesn’t listen, she argues with everything, and she fights like she’s trying to kill me!” Renjun spat, his hands coming up to grip at his hair.

“Definitely sounds like his match.” Haechan muttered under his breath, only to find himself on the receiving end of yet another death glare.

“Is it really that bad?” Jaemin asked.

“You don’t know this girl. She’s a nightmare and a half.”

Another snort came from Haechan and Renjun swore, one more and he was going to throw himself over this table to choke that boy out.

“What’s this?” Mark’s voice cut through the murderous thoughts running around Renjun’s head. Instead of replying all he could do was sigh, his gaze falling back down to his plate.

This time, Jaemin decided to explain, not wanting to trigger another rage fuelled rant from his friend. “Renjun has a new partner in fencing, and apparently, she can be a little difficult.”

“A little?!” Renjun’s voice came out sharper than he’d intended in his attempt to defend himself. “This girl is this epitome of difficult. Ugh, can we please change the topic.”

“Sure. Jeno, good luck today by the way! What time is your driving test?”

Renjun had never been so grateful towards Mark than he did at that moment. He let the conversation continue without him, his own thoughts swimming through his head.

If he was being honest with himself, something about what he said didn’t feel quite right, even though it was true. You were infuriating. You didn’t ever listen, you argued with everything he said and sometimes he did think that if you had a real sword, Renjun would not be walking out of practice alive, but, even with all that, he didn’t have that same burning dislike towards you that had become so familiar to him over the years. And if he was being really honest with himself, he was starting to enjoy your sessions together, maybe even look forward to them.

But Renjun wasn’t that honest yet.

---

This might be the best morning of term yet. What’s better than opening your locker and finding a blueberry muffin inside waiting for you? You grabbed it, quickly unwrapping the plastic cover and taking a bite.

“Are you eating breakfast?” Yuna’s voice cut through your haze, and you turned around with a grin.

“It was waiting for me. Come on, own up. Which one of you is my secret breakfast fairy?” You prodded, waving the now half-eaten muffin in their faces.

Winter laughed at your glee but shrugged. “Not me.”

Yuna shook her head at you as well, denying her involvement.

“What? Just yesterday you were both telling me I needed to start eating breakfast or you were going to ‘force feed me’.” You held up air quotes at that, reminding them of your conversation from the day before.

“I’m serious! It’s not either of us. Sorry y/n but looks like someone else is doing that for you.

You looked down at the muffin in your hands at Winter’s words, confusion furrowing on your brows as you wondered who could have left you breakfast. As far as you were aware, apart from Winter and Yuna, no one else knew the combination to your locker.

“Okay, that’s a little weird.” You murmured and the girls both laughed.

“Maybe you have a secret admirer.” Yuna teased before gasping dramatically. “Maybe it’s Renjun!”

“As if.” You laughed yourself. “The day Huang Renjun is leaving me breakfast is the day that pigs can fly.”

You slung your bag over your shoulder as the morning bell sounded, splitting ways from your friends and heading off to class. You looked down at the empty wrapper in your hand, a thought crossing your mind.

Could it be Renjun? He did know that you didn’t eat breakfast, but it wouldn’t make any sense for it to be him, he hated your guts. You folded the wrapper neatly, throwing it in a passing bin at the front of your classroom. The teacher began speaking, explaining some historical event you knew you should be focusing on, but you couldn’t tear your mind away from your fencing partner.

Even though you’d laughed at the idea that he could be the one looking out for you, the thought didn’t fill you with dread like you’d expected it to. In fact, the thought of Renjun never made your skin crawl the way it used to. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

---

It was the most anticipated fencing practice of the term: the tournament day. Other students were invited to watch the fencers compete in pairs to win two tickets to the annual fencing ball. The fencing ball was infamous, schools from all over the country rushing to buy tickets to spend the evening dancing in black tie and meeting new people. It was known as one of the best nights, with even people from other sports often trying to get tickets. The tickets sold out fast and you knew, this would probably be your only chance to get them.

You spotted Yuna and Winter in the crowd, waving embarrassingly enthusiastically at you. You lifted your foil in greeting, grinning at them. While you’d never tell them, you were happy they were here to see you fence. It was like showing them a part of yourself you hadn’t got to share before.

Renjun was standing by the equipment rack, adjusting his gear while waiting for his turn. In reality, he didn’t have anything he needed to check or adjust, he knew he was ready to go, he just couldn’t stand the teasing looks from his friends and the thought of waiting next to you made butterflies flutter around in his stomach. He was pulled away from his thoughts however as the coach called everyone over.

“Alright, you all know how this works. You’ll be paired up and play one game against another pair. Whoever performs best wins the tickets. We’ve got an audience today so let’s put on a good show. You all know your pairings?” He looked over everyone, taking in the nods from his students. “Good. Now let’s get started.”

You made your way over to the bench, your match was going to be the very final one, meaning you had to sit here while five other matches took place before you. Your knee bounced as you watched the first two pairs take their places.

Your partner took his seat next to you, surprising you when he nudged your knee with his.

“Breathe.” Renjun whispered. “We’ve got this.”

Not a sound left you, too taken aback by his sudden reassurance. Your leg lay still against the bench, your nervous energy stilling and your eyes watching the first game as it began.

Point after point was scored as the first five games flew by. Before you knew it, your opponents were up there, and your names were being called by the coach.

“-facing them off will be Renjun and y/n!”

Whoops and cheers could be heard from voices you recognised as Yuna and Winter as well as some other boys you weren’t so familiar with. However, from the embarrassed look on Renjun’s face you assumed they were his friends.

“Your foil is crooked.” He said, not hesitating to reach out to correct it.

He fixed it without you asking, his fingers brushing yours slightly as he pulled away. You flinched at the contact, not from irritation, but from something else you refused to name or even acknowledge.

Why did he have to pick now to be gentle?

Your opponents were strong, they were two seniors who had fenced in a pair before. While you knew you and Renjun were strongest individually, winning this game would rely on you two working well as a team, which wasn’t something that had gone very well in the past.

“En Garde.” Your coach shouted, and you took your starting position, you on offence and Renjun on defence. “Prêts? Allez!“

You lunged immediately, taking inspiration from the way Renjun attacked the first time you faced him this year. It caught your opponents by surprise, but you missed by a hair. Luckily Renjun immediately covered your flank with a clean parry.

“Watch your right.” He warned.

You shot him a warning glance, one that he understood even with the mask on, but said nothing. Keeping his words in mind, you took your positions again.

The start was messy, both of you were playing as individuals and giving away easy points. Yet, somewhere in the middle of the match, something clicked. Your footwork synced up and your timing became instinctive: lunge, parry, retreat, counterattack. You found the perfect rhythm. You were moving backwards and forwards as if you were one being, always covering each other and taking every shot that was open to you.

“Are they choreographed?” Jeno muttered to Jaemin, whose eyes were focused on the two of you in amazement.

The buzzer sounded, signalling another point for you and Renjun and you took your positions once more, panting lightly under your masks. You’d managed to pull it back and the score was now 4-4, but time was almost up, meaning the next point won the game.

“We’re actually doing well.” You muttered, watching the way his head turned towards you, and you could just about make out his features underneath the mask. “Don’t get used to it.”

“Too late.” Renjun chuckled softly.

“Did he just smile at her?” Winter nudged Yuna with her elbow, both girls in disbelief as Yuna whispered back:

“Someone call a medic.”

Silence fell over the crowd, everyone waiting to see who would score that final deciding point. The whistle sounded.

Your opponents charged. Renjun quickly sidestepped, using his foil to deftly redirect the attack to your side. Without thinking, you moved in perfect timing, your blade darting like lightning. The satisfying clang sound of another point being scored in your favour was music to your ears.

The coach lifted his hand towards you and Renjun, signalling victory and you immediately pulled your mask off. You were out of breath and your hair was slightly clinging to your forehead, but you couldn’t stop the huge grin from spreading across your face.

“We did it.” You cheered.

Renjun laughed, pulling his own mask off as well. “We worked well together. Guess we make a good team after all.”

“Don’t get used to it.” You quipped, but even Renjun could notice the humour in your words rather than the usual malice. He liked it. He wished he didn’t, but hearing you joke with him, even if just for a single sentence made those butterflies in his stomach appear again.

“We’d do well in a zombie apocalypse. You know like in ‘All of Us Are Dead’? We’d definitely survive until the end.” He laughed, moving a step closer to you as you both headed into the changing room to take off your gear.

You laughed as well, the melodic sound echoing around Renjun’s head.

“Maybe you’re right. So, if the zombie apocalypse happens, as long as neither of us get turned immediately, we find each other and fight our way to freedom. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Those butterflies were going crazy now.

He hung up his gear, enjoying the weightless feeling that always came with taking off the protective uniform. He nodded at you, a silent invitation to leave together and hear the scores. You smiled back at him, and Renjun couldn’t stop the grin that came over his own face.

Together you walked back into the hall, hearing the claps from the spectators as you reappeared. You waved over to Yuna and Winter, getting more wild waves back from them as you rejoined the main group.

“After six tense matches, I’ve looked at how each fencer performed individually, and as a team. It was not an easy decision, but the winners of this years fencing tournament and going home with a ticket each to the annual fencing ball are...”

Your breath caught in your throat, waiting for the next words that you were silently begging to hear.

“Renjun and y/n!”

You two looked at each other in shock, a laugh of disbelief escaping you as you began to wrap your head around what your coach said. You two had actually won!

The other fencers clapped politely as your coach made his way over to the two of you.

“You’ll get an email each with everything you need to know. And have fun there, it’s a good night.” He smiled warmly at you both. “You’ve come far in just 6 weeks. If you keep up like this, you two are going to be the best around. And you work very well together too. I hope you remember that.”

“It’s going to be hard to forget.” The words left Renjun’s mouth before he could stop them. He noticed you turning your head to look at him, but he forced himself to keep his eyes on his coach, too nervous as to what your reaction might be to his statement.

Your coach walked off to talk to some members of staff who had come to watch and Renjun finally turned to face you.

“We’re going to the fencing ball.” You breathed.

“I know. I can’t wait, it’s so much fun.” He replied, and you noticed how his eyes sparkled.

“You’ve been?”

Renjun nodded in response to your question. “Once, about two years ago. It was about four hours of music and dancing, and by the end the seniors were on tables and confetti was everywhere, it was crazy. You’re gonna love it.”

You smiled at the ground. Why was he making you smile so much? This was Renjun, he never used to make you smile, he used to make you want to pull your own arm off just to hit him with it. But now, everything he said pulled this grin onto your face that you couldn’t wipe off. No matter how hard you tried.

“I should probably go say hi to my friends.” You murmured, gesturing vaguely behind you.

“Oh yeah, me too. But I’ll see you in our next session?” He said, his head tilting to the left slightly. You’d never noticed him doing that before.

“Yeah. I’ll see you around Renjun.” You waved, wandering off towards where Yuna and Winter were waiting for you.

See him around? As in, you might see him before training? Renjun didn’t know what you meant by that, but he did know, he needed to stop over thinking. And he also knew that if he stood here any longer, watching you walk away, the boys would never let it go.

He turned towards his friends, finding the six of them waiting expectantly for him. He opened his arms as he walked towards them, hearing all of them shout their praises as soon as he got close enough.

“Dude, that was incredible!” Mark clapped him on the shoulder.

“You looked like you were waltzing out there. What’s next, tango practice?” Haechan teased.

“Shut up Haechan.” Renjun groaned, but the smile on his face wasn’t getting any smaller.

He missed the knowing look Chenle and Mark shared, too busy watching you out of the corner of his eye. Seeing the way your shoulders lifted as you laughed at something Yuna said. Cute. Finally, he pulled his attention away from you, listening in on the ramblings of his friends arguing where they should get dinner to celebrate his win.

You felt as though you were on top of the world. Things seemed to be falling into place around you, and it was an inexplicably wonderful feeling to just let that happen.

You heard Renjun laugh to your right, sneaking a look at him chatting with his friends, that smile that lit up his entire face triggering a warm feeling to spread through your body.

He was right, you two had worked well together. Too well together. So well, in fact, that it had altered your relationship outside of the game. It was too soon to tell how, but there wasn’t the same anger towards him that there had been for so long. It was replaced by a new kind of calmness.

‘It’s just fencing.’ You thought to yourself.

But deep down, you knew it wasn’t just fencing at all.

iv. no ❤️

It was volunteer day. As the two winners of the fencing tournament, Renjun and yourself were also brought with your coach to the local primary school to host a fencing workshop for the children there. It was only one hour in the morning, but it meant you got to skip your morning maths class, so you were thrilled.

The only thing that you weren’t thrilled about was the lack of a blueberry muffin in your locker this morning. A small pout came onto your face as you saw the empty space where the treat usually sat.

“No fairy today then.” You muttered, turning on your heel and heading towards the taxi that would take you to your event.

Renjun had gone straight there, he lived closer and just decided to bring his books with him rather than dropping them off in his locker just to turn around and come back the way he came.

He was making quiet conversation with his coach whilst setting out the small foam swords that the kids would be using today.

“You fought well at the tournament Renjun.” His coach told him. “You’re coming along well and, I know you might not like to hear this, but fencing with y/n is good for you. She challenges you in a way you’re not used to.”

Renjun hummed in agreement. “She’s a good partner.” That was all he would let himself say out loud, but the raised eyebrow that his coach sent him in reply told him far more than he needed to know.

Everyone knew the aggressive tension between the two of you was dissipating fast, the jabs you would make at each other had softened into teasing and the harsh looks were now small smiles and shared moments of understanding. Renjun knew that joining fencing this term hadn’t been your idea, and now that the term was coming close to an end, he found himself wondering what he would do after winter break if you chose not to come back again.

Where would that leave him?

That thought was one he had been trying not to focus on. He wasn’t enjoying the pit he felt in his stomach every time it plagued his mind.

It didn’t take long for you to arrive, waving a quick hello before stepping in to help him get things sorted.

“Guess we’re stuck together as partners again.” Renjun said lightly.

“You say that like you hate it.” You chuckled, balancing one of the helmets that had tiled askew.

“I didn’t say that.” He smiled softly at you, holding your gaze for a second too long before tearing his eyes away, trying to hide the heat in his face.

Your coach gave you a quick heads up just before the doors flew open and the kids poured into the room. They walked around the equipment, loudly laughing and chattering about what they saw.

The coach began to greet the kids, telling them what fencing was and introducing you and Renjun to them as well. During his little speech, you were overcome with a wave of nostalgia, seeing all these children being taught the concept of fencing reminded you of your first day.

“Hard to believe we were this small when we met.” You murmured to Renjun, the boy nodding in agreement.

“And when you tried to blow up the classroom.” He pushed your buttons once again, this time though, you found humour in his words.

“Hey, that was your fault. You got the measurements wrong.” You challenged.

“How about we call it collaborative failure?” He proposed, and after a second, you agreed.

Neither of you would address it, but you both knew what that meant. It meant leaving it behind, leaving the arguments, the hatred and the blame in the past and moving forwards. Together. Maybe even as friends.

The kids were balls of energy, all of them practically bouncing off the walls at the chance to play with swords. It was now up to you and Renjun to teach them what you could in the short time you had.

You watched as Renjun switched into ‘big brother mode’, crouching down slightly so he was closer to eye level with them.

“Who’s ready to learn how to fence like real champions?” He asked the group, an immediate chorus of “MEEE!” ringing out from your students.

You found yourself surrounded by little hands tugging at you asking a million questions at once:

“Do we get real swords?”

“Can we fight dragons?”

“Are you two married?”

You choked at that last one, covering it quickly with a cough as you hurried to correct them.

“No, we’re just fencing partners.”

“For now.” Renjun teased, the kids screaming happily at his words as your eyes widened.

What the hell did that mean?

“Don’t tempt fate.” You warned, forcing a laugh to cover how flustered you were.

Together you began your demonstration, you showed the position as Renjun talked through what the kids needed to copy.

“You want your feet to be in an ‘L’ position, see? Just like this.” His hands brushed against your legs to show everybody, and you had to hold your breath to keep your composure. “Now, hold your foil, that’s what we call the sword, up using the same hand your write with and take a big step forward while you make a stabbing motion. This is what we call a lunge.”

You did as he said, demonstrating an exaggerated lunge so the kids could understand.

It only took half a second before they were lunging forwards, half of them falling over their own feet with how enthusiastically they went for it.

You and Renjun walked through the group, spending time with each child and correcting their positions, as well as pairing them up with an ‘opponent’ and showing them how to retreat. They repeated these movements, lunge and retreat, over and over again as you made your way through them.

You spotted a little girl struggling with her grip, so you approached her, gently folding her fingers over the handle in the correct way. She sent a large, toothy grin your way, her eyes opening even wider as she looked at you.

“You’re really pretty.” She said earnestly, and you laughed as you squeezed one of her cheeks.

“So are you.” You replied.

“I wanna be a fighter like you!” She declared, looking back down at her foil with a renewed determination.

“Keep practicing.” You advised. “It takes time but if you keep at it, you might even be a better fighter than me.”

Renjun watched all of this, subconsciously smiling at you, that warm feeling he had been trying to hard to ignore spreading unavoidably through his chest. A hesitant movement caught his eye, turning to see a little boy who was holding back every time he leant forward.

The boy sighed in defeat, looking dejected as Renjun knelt down next to him.

“You’re doing great.” He reassured. “No one gets it on their first try. I didn’t. Just bend your front knee a bit more, it’ll help keep you balanced.”

The boy nodded slowly, and tried again, bending that knee just as Renjun had told him to.

“Perfect form!” Renjun clapped, watching as the young boy’s face lit up.

He didn’t notice you, just a few feet away watching him, the same smile he just held for you, now reflected on your own face. As well as that warm feeling in your chest too.

The hour you had with them passed in a blur, and before you knew it you were standing up at the front telling all of the kids how well they did. Pamphlets on fencing were being grabbed faster than the speed of light and each child held about three of them close to their chest.

“You’re like the Prince and Princess of fencing!” One of them called out, the others all shouting in agreement.

You two both laughed at that, enjoying the titles that had just been bestowed upon you.

“Make sure you tell your parents all about what you learned today!” Renjun called out, another shout of cheers erupting from the group as they all said goodbye and were ushered out by their teachers.

“Bye fencing couple!” Was shouted over a shoulder and you both looked awkwardly at each other, the silence in the room deafening as the rowdy bunch of children left the two of you alone.

“We’re never living that down.” Renjun groaned, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Could be worse.” You shrugged. “They could have called you my husband again.”

Renjun opened his mouth to respond, unable to get the words out before your coach reappeared. He’d been silently watching you teach from the corner of the room, along with the kids’ tutors, and he was proud of how far the two of you had come.

“You were brilliant today.” He smiled warmly at you both. “I’m just going to chat to the administration to finish things up there, are you two okay to tidy up here before we head back?”

You both nodded, and he slipped out of the door, the silence taking over the room once again as you moved to pick up the various foam swords that were lying all over the floor.

You assumed Renjun had started at the opposite end of the room, but a quiet sound of a zip being carefully undone caught your attention. You turned around, only to see Renjun leaning over your bag. You approached silently, watching as he pulled out a muffin, a blueberry one at that, and slipped it in. Zipping your bag up as quietly as possibly before standing.

When he turned around and saw you watching him, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“So it was you? This whole time?” You breathed. Renjun froze, not sure how he should navigate this situation. He hadn’t really thought through what he would do if you’d ever caught him.

“What? Someone had to make sure you weren’t going to pass out at practice.” He mumbled. Great, apparently he had gone with the bumbling idiot way of navigating the situation.

“Renjun... I-” You couldn’t find the words, unable to believe that he had been doing this for you for almost six weeks. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.” He tried to shrug it off, starting to walk past him, but you grabbed him by his bicep as he did.

“No, it’s not nothing.” You said honestly. “Really, thank you.”

Renjun turned his body so he was facing you, your hand dropping from his arm and he immediately missed the warmth.

“You’re welcome.” A rare moment of sincerity passed between the two of you. “Besides, you get cranky if you don’t eat enough.” He joked.

You chuckled at his words, knowing he wasn’t wrong. “Keeping track of my moods are we?”

“I’m your partner. It’s an occupational hazard.” His voice was soft, and the words faded into something deeper.

Your eyes were locked on each other, a deep emotional moment shared between you as you found yourself being drawn even closer to him. Every moment shared between the two of you over the past few weeks had gradually stitched together what had been torn apart years before. He stared back at you, mesmerising the colours in your eyes, getting lost in them to the point he thought he might be looking into your soul. He knew that too much time had passed, he should pull back, stop staring. Friends didn’t stare at each other like this, let alone for this long. But he couldn’t. This time, Renjun didn’t look away.

---

Renjun had offered to take the equipment back to the sports hall, and while you had protested, he hadn’t taken no for an answer. He pushed the doors open, the bags almost slipping from his fingers as he did so.

“Need a hand?” A familiar voice triggered his head to fly up, seeing Chenle standing in the middle of the hall, a basketball held under his arm.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” Renjun questioned and the younger boy shrugged, placing the ball on the floor and coming over to take one of the bags off Renjun’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ve got Bio right now, but it’s fine.”

Renjun huffed at his response. Chenle had a knack for skipping his least favourite classes in order to practice. If he wasn’t the best basketball player this town had seen in a long time, he would have got in serious trouble for it months ago.

“How was teaching?”

“It was good actually.” Renjun replied, leading the way to the storeroom where spare equipment was stored. “Lots of kids got involved so I hope at least one of them picks the sport up.”

“And... how was y/n?” Chenle dragged out his words, never missing an opportunity to tease the older boy.

“She was fine.” Renjun chuckled, keeping his back to his friend so that he couldn’t see the blush Renjun was sure was appearing on his cheeks. He dropped his bag in its place, rolling out his shoulder once it was free of the weight. “We’ve been getting along well since the tournament. She’s a good partner.”

He grabbed the second bag off Chenle, leaving it in the same place before pulling the cupboard doors shut and locking it behind him.

He turned around, seeing Chenle sat down on a bench expectantly. Renjun rolled his eyes, but joined him anyway.

“Yeah, you seem to be enjoying spending time with her recently.” Chenle stated bluntly.

“Chenle, whatever it is you’re trying to say, please just get to the point.” Renjun sighed. While Chenle was one of the most honest people Renjun knew, he often danced around his main point to try and help you get there yourself.

“Have you noticed that you can’t say her name without smiling?” Chenle turned his head to look at Renjun. “She’s all you talk about. We’ve not had a conversation with you in the last three weeks where you haven’t mentioned her.”

“Yeah, because I spend a lot of time with her. She’s doing my sport, obviously I’m going to talk about her.” Renjun argued.

“No. You’re going to see her. No one is forcing you to talk about her.” Chenle bickered back.

“So what? She’s on my mind. Any time of day, she’s normally on my mind. Why is that so bad?”

“It’s not bad!” Chenle held his hands up, not wanting this to become a confrontation. “Renjun, I’m not trying to argue with you, I’m trying to get you to see what’s in front of you. Mark noticed it first. And do you know what he said to me? He said that the only person he talks about, as much as you talk about y/n, is his girl. Renjun, you’ve caught feelings for her, haven’t you?”

Renjun was silent. He stared down at his hands, refusing to make eye contact.

“We’re just friends.” He forced out through gritted teeth.

“If you say so.” Chenle gave up. “But, if it is more than that, I hope you see it soon. Because next week is winter break and she might not come back to fencing after that, and it would be a shame if you lost everything because you can’t admit something to yourself. I think she’s a good match for you. You balance each other out.”

With that he stood, leaving Renjun alone, his head swimming with thoughts.

Could that be what these butterflies were? What that warm feeling meant? He remembered the way you grabbed his arm earlier that day, how his stomach felt as though it was doing flips just from a small amount of physical contact with you. How badly he’d wanted to lean in and kiss your forehead when you thanked him for getting you breakfast. Renjun couldn’t admit it to anyone else, but maybe he could admit it to himself.

He was falling in love.

---

You loved the final day of term, it was always a half day which meant going home by lunch. Yuna and Winter had gone already, leaving the second they could but you didn’t mind, you were seeing them in a few days, and you had to pick up some extra books from your locker.

Your locker shut with a loud noise, one that echoed through the emptying halls. Only a few people remained, stragglers like yourself grabbing supplies or waiting to be picked up.

You sent a quick text to your mum, asking how far away she was, as you walked out of the main building. You headed over to the steps, placing your bag down next to your legs as you took a seat. You opened up your phone, doom scrolling in order to pass the time as you waited.

A shadow appeared next to you, before two feet came down beside yours and someone sat next to you on the steps. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was. You recognised everything about him, from the pattern of his walk, to how he breathed, to how he smelt. You could recognise Huang Renjun from miles away.

“Four weeks off.” He muttered, his gaze on the view in front of the two of you.

“It’s come around fast.” You mused. “Feels like yesterday we were fencing each other for the first time.”

He chuckled, looking down at his feet for a second before finally turning his head to look at you.

“It does.” His gaze felt heavy, as if his eyes were having a different conversation than his voice was. “I’ve enjoyed fencing with you.”

“Me too.” You smiled at him. These moments between you were getting more common, and you loved them. You didn’t have to say too much to him, he always seemed to understand the depth of your simple sentences. It felt incredibly intimate, someone knowing you that well. But comforting at the same time. And while it was an unfamiliar feeling, it was a new favourite.

“I know...” Renjun’s voice trailed off as he swallowed. “I know that technically your bet is over, and you can choose whatever you want to do next term. But I- I just want you to know, fencing wouldn’t be the same without you.”

A sudden car horn shattered the moment, you saw your mum driving past, waving as she turned the corner into the car park.

Renjun stood wordlessly, offering a hand to help you get up. You accepted, gently rising, but even after you did, you kept your hold on his him. He ran his thumb over the back of your hand, a gesture that made your heart skip a beat. You smiled at him, almost hesitating before pulling him in and wrapping your arms around him in a soft hug. He held you lightly, as if he could break you if he applied too much pressure. It was only for a second before you pulled back, and once you stepped out of his hold, Renjun knew, he didn’t want to let you walk away.

He reached out, grabbing you by your wrist and spinning you back into him. He wound his arms securely around your waist, pulling you close to him as your arms instinctively flew up around his neck. His head fell into the crook of your neck, a deep breath leaving him as he felt all the tension leave his body.

You fit together like two puzzle pieces, there wasn’t any room for space between the two of you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. In this moment, Renjun couldn’t believe he had spent so many years stuck on a stupid argument from when you were kids. You lit up his skies, painting his world in colour and Renjun never wanted to waste any time he had with you ever again.

But, eventually he knew he had to pull back. He stepped backwards slowly, feeling the way your grip loosened but didn’t fall.

“I’ll see you soon.” He whispered. A sudden flash of courage rushed through him, and he couldn’t let the moment pass. He leant forwards, placing a feather light kiss on your cheek.

And with that, he turned and walked back into the building. Renjun couldn’t look behind him. He knew that if he had to watch you walk away, he would run straight after you and kiss you until he couldn’t breathe. And he wasn’t ready for that yet. He still had to figure out what all this meant for the two of you. And when he does finally kiss you, he wanted the moment to be perfect.

You stood there, your whole body cold in the December weather, except the spot on your cheek, where you could still feel his lips, was burning hot. Your phone pinged, a text from your mum came through, asking what was taking so long. You grabbed your bag off the floor, swinging it over your shoulder before jogging off to where she normally parked.

You had thought for a second there that Renjun was going to kiss you. And you weren’t sure what to make of the disappointment you felt when he didn’t. You hadn’t realised until that moment just how badly you had wanted him to kiss you. You wished you’d noticed earlier. If you’d figured it out, you would have grabbed him by his perfect face and made the move. Instead, you’re sat in the car, head against the window not sure where to go now.

Could you be falling for Renjun? He drove you crazy, always correcting you and arguing back without hesitation, but, no one challenged you like him. No one made you crazy the way he did. You craved proximity with him, the idea of not seeing him for four weeks made your head spin. You sank further into your seat, one final realisation hitting you like a freight train.

You weren’t falling for Renjun. You had already fallen.

v. that is a sword it does hurt

The first week back after winter break had been a mess. Students running to classes and teachers starting to put pressure on your year as well, reminding you it wouldn’t be long until you were seniors. You’d always hated the first week back, getting back into the routine of waking up early and studying constantly was always a shock.

It didn’t help that even though you’d brought all your books back home with the intention of studying during your time off, you had done practically no work at all. A groan escaped you as you finally reached your locker. It was Tuesday morning of week two, meaning you had Maths to start your day off.

You reached your locker, quickly putting in the combination and pulling the metal door open. You looked inside, seeing one thing sitting on a shelf that you knew wasn’t there before. You face split into a wide smile as you reached a hand out to retrieve the familiar object.

A blueberry muffin.

The thought of seeing Renjun again made you smile even wider. You’d missed him over break, life hadn’t seemed quite as fun without his quips and jokes to keep you company. You knew fencing started this afternoon, and you couldn’t wait to see his reaction when he learnt that you’d signed up for another term.

You hadn’t seen him once in the past five weeks, you hadn’t expected to see him over the break, and since you didn’t share a single class, it made sense you two hadn’t bumped into each other in the corridors. But you’d see him in about 7 hours, and you were already smiling at the thought.

He’d messaged you a few times, mainly checking that you were looking after yourself. He’d claimed that he was still responsible for your breakfast, even going as far as to send a delivery order to your house one morning. Yuna and Winter were not letting you live that one down any time soon.

That was the moment you knew you were really screwed. You had thought about Renjun all the time when you were away, to the point where you were counting down the days until you could see him again. It was as if he took up every empty space in your head. You saw him when you closed your eyes, heard his laugh in moments of silence and you lost track of the amount of times you had almost asked him to meet you on your time off.

You were in love with the boy.

The bell rang, the harsh sound echoing through your ears as a warning. You quickly grabbed the right books, and with your bag over one shoulder and holding your muffin, you headed off to class.

---

Renjun stood in the changing room, his uniform on and foil in place. He was all ready to go, but somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to walk out into the hall. He needed a minute before he could go fence with someone who wasn’t you. A few months ago, Renjun was begging for it to be anyone else, now the reality of that thought poisoned him.

He sighed deeply, sinking down onto a bench and running a hand through his hair.

“I thought we’d gotten over the dread of being partners.”

That voice. Renjun had been playing that voice over and over in his head for the past weeks, desperate to hear it in person again. His head shot up and he was greeted with the sight he’d missed more than anything: you. You were watching him from your locker, a slight grin that prompted an immediate smile from him as well.

It was only then that your words sank in, and he registered what you had said.

“Partners?” He asked, trying not to sound as hopeful as he was.

You shrugged. “I came so close to beating you last term, I thought I’d better come back and finish the job.”

Renjun couldn’t believe it. He had prayed almost every night for this, that you would come back, and he would get to see you again. He watched as you pulled your jacket over the rest of your uniform, struggling to fasten it.

“Careful y/n, we both know you’re all bark and no bite.” He stood, walking over to where you still fiddling with the zip.

“Don’t challenge me Renjun.” You warned. “I’ve had weeks off from you, got some time to make up for.”

“Whatever you need to give me an actual fight. Maybe now I can stop going easy on you.” He took the zip out of your hands, gently fixing it and securing your jacket with ease.

It was only then that you noticed how close the two of you were. You could almost feel his breath on your face, and it took everything in you not to lean in at that very moment. You noticed all the little details about him, from the dark swirls of colour in his eyes to the way he’d had a haircut while you’d been away. It looked good on him. But then again, you were sure everything did.

He reached past you and into your locker, grabbing your foil and holding it out for you.

“Ready to put your money where your mouth is?” He challenged, and you accepted.

“Bring it on.”

You walked out into the hall together, immediately going to take your places and missing the smile on your coach’s face as you did. He’d been watching the two of you closely since the start of the year, and it would take an idiot not to see what was going on there.

Your first fight back was nothing like your first one of the year. Your first fight together was chaotic, more than just fencing, it was fuelled by anger and tension. This was different. It was familiar, you knew each other’s styles and moves so well you could almost predict what was going to happen before it did. It was still fuelled with tension, but it wasn’t the same kind, there was something more there that neither of you were willing to name, but you both knew you felt it.

You thought you had him, a quick fake jab before leaning forwards with a thrust, but he caught you. You almost lost your balance, but Renjun swept an arm under your outstretched one, pulling you into his chest and tapping his foil gently on your back as he whispered in your ear:

“I win.”

“That was illegal.” You murmured back, grateful your mask was covering how flustered you were. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you felt his grip on your waist loosen.

“I would have won anyway.” He pulled off his helmet, shooting you his signature smirk.

You bit back a smile of your own, the taste of losing nowhere near as bitter as it used to be. You lifted your own helmet off, letting it hang in your fingers as you tilted your head towards him.

“Personal question, did your hair get sick of you and leave?” You teased, gesturing to the new haircut you had noticed earlier.

His jaw dropped open, a laugh escaping him as he nudged you with his shoulder, leading you towards your water bottles.

“At least you didn’t.” The grin on his face was hard to miss, his words turning you from flustered into a full blown mess.

You two hadn’t changed. You still fought, teased and bickered just like before, but it was different, light-hearted. You both knew that neither of you meant any harshness or animosity behind your words. Instead, it was now a testament to how much you knew you cared for each other.

You loved laughing with Renjun, and he loved hearing you laugh. Renjun knew he would do anything to be the reason behind your laugh.

And you stood there, laughing like friends but far too close to each other to be friends. Just two people, both madly in love, pretending like they aren’t.

---

Saturday night meant girls night. Yuna was currently smoothing a face mask over your skin as Winter scrolled through Netflix to find the Las Vegas episodes in Friends. Nights like these were your own personal form of therapy. The chocolate and bowl of popcorn lay spread out over the floor in front of you and the sofas had been abandoned hours ago. All three of you were sat or, in Winter’s case, lying on the floor around your sweet treats.

“There you go.” Yuna muttered, taking her hands away from your face.

You gave back a thanks, reaching out to grab a piece of chocolate for both yourself and her.

“I’m glad you chose to stick with fencing.” Winter mused. “You definitely seem happier doing it.”

“I am happier.” You agreed. “I forgot how fun it was.”

“And it’s nothing to do with your little breakfast fairy at all?” Yuna nudged you, both her and Winter watching you like hawks.

You looked down at the floor, picking at the carpet as you tried to find the right words to say. Since the start of term, Renjun had continued to give you breakfast. Only now, he met you at the gates with a muffin and a coffee every morning. His argument was that he didn’t need to hide it now you knew it was him, and this way he knew you were actually eating.

“Honestly... I kind of wish I could say no. But, I really enjoy being around him.” You admitted, your eyes still on the floor in front of you.

Both Yuna and Winter scooted closer to you, a silent encouragement to keep talking.

“Guys, I don’t know where it came from. He used to drive me up the wall, you two know that better than anybody. But, over time, he didn’t annoy me that much anymore, then he started looking out for me, and now-” You took a deep breath. “Now if I’m being really honest, I don’t think I would have enjoyed fencing if it wasn’t with him. You know we’re still doing our second solo sessions too, even though we don’t have to.”

Winter grinned at you, having to physically hold herself back from squealing in excitement.

“This wasn’t what I expected when I signed you up for fencing, but I am so happy it has turned out this way.” Yuna wrapped her arms around your shoulders, swinging you from side to side.

“Well? Are you gonna tell him?” Winter prompted and you bit your lip.

“I don’t know.” You murmured. “We’re in a really good place, I mean- I want to, but I’m worried what might happen if I just blurt out that I think I’m in love with him.” You suddenly shifted, sitting yourself more upright as you suddenly remembered something. “But, you know how I have that new lab partner in Chemistry?”

“Jaemin, right?” Yuna asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, he’s one of Renjun’s best friends. I’d seen them around together, but we’d never really spoken about our friends that much, so I wasn’t aware of how close they were. But, he keeps talking about Renjun in our lessons together, saying things about how well we fenced together and stuff, and, I don’t know, sometimes it just feels as though he’s testing the waters.”

Winter sat up as well, crossing her legs and leaning in closer at your words.

“Oh my god, that happened to me as well!”

“What?” Both you and Yuna said in sync.

“Not about me obviously! But this term I’m sitting next to Haechan in History, and he talks about Renjun too! Saying pretty much the same stuff, like how it’s nice you two get along and he thinks you and Renjun are fun together.”

“Why don’t any of them talk to me?” Yuna pouted, earning a shrug in response from Winter.

You sat back, resting against the sofa behind you.

“What does this mean then?” You asked, you felt like you were drowning in all the thoughts swimming around your head.

Winter shuffled up so that she was sat on the other side of you, meaning you were sandwiched between your two best friends.

“Look, I’m no genius, but I’d bet a lot of money that it means he likes you.” She said gently. “Guys don’t ask after girls for their friends unless there’s a reason behind it.”

“Plus, anyone can see how crazy you and Renjun are about each other. He literally waits for you every morning just so he can hand deliver you breakfast. Only someone who is seriously down bad would be doing that.” Yuna agreed.

By this point all three of you were snuggled in close together. You sighed deeply, knowing deep down you were right.

“I have to tell him.” You whispered.

“Yes, you do!” Winter nodded. “And trust us, he feels the same way.”

“Why was this less scary when I had no idea how he felt?” You groaned and Yuna chuckled.

“Because now it feels real.” She offered, her only reply from you being another sigh and nod. “Come on, let’s get these masks off and we can plan what you’re going to say.”

She sprung up, reaching out for your hands as well, pulling you up with force as the three of you wandered to the bathroom together. The thought of telling Renjun the truth scared the life out of you, and Yuna had hit the nail on the head when she’d said it was because now it feels real. The longer you two remained friends, the longer a chance for something to happen between the two of you could be a fantasy and not something that you screwed up, or something that wasn’t what you thought it would be.

Winter must have read the look on your face because she reached out to softly stroke your head.

“Really y/n, he’s head over heels for you. We wouldn’t say it if we didn’t think so.”

You nodded, the smile you always got when you thought of him forming on your face. Who would have known that the boy you used to do anything to avoid, would be the reason for your increased heartbeat. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

---

You placed your foil back into your locker, making sure it hung steady. You had just finished another one on one session with Renjun and you still hadn’t said anything to him. The conversation you’d had with your friends played through your head for the millionth time. You’d promised both them and yourself that you’d do it by the end of the week, yet here you were, on Thursday evening, and not a whisper had left your lips about your feelings.

You sighed, reaching up and smoothing out your uniform. You had to find the courage somewhere, but there was still this tiny voice in the back of your head that kept asking if he did feel the same. Maybe it wasn’t love for him. Maybe he was just a friend. After all, you didn’t know what it was like to be friends with Renjun, having spent most of your life at odds with each other. For all you know, this could be normal for him. Then you remembered the morning breakfasts, the long stares and the brushes of physical contact that happened too frequently to be accidental.

Your stomach was doing constant flips at the mere thought of him. You had to get this off your chest.

Renjun was filling up both your water bottles. He’d left his mask and foil on the bench out in the sports hall, making sure you’d have water waiting for you when you got back before taking off his gear. He screwed the lid back on yours, walking over to his bag to place your water beside it before sitting down and taking a sip of his own.

He had played badly today, and he knew it. He couldn’t help himself. Renjun was so constantly distracted by you. How could he focus on fencing when you were so close to him that he could smell your shampoo? He’d been trying to find the right time to open up to you, to tell you that you meant so much more to him than he ever thought was possible, and no time felt more perfect and personal than after a fencing session with just the two of you.

Actually, Renjun thought the ideal situation would be at the fencing ball, but he wasn’t prepared to wait four more weeks for that to come around. Plus, he would much rather walk into that ball with you on his arm.

Just at that moment the doors burst open and in walked the six boys. He stood up fast, the private moment he had been hoping for with you fading away in front of his eyes.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked, looking around them rapidly.

“Nice to see you too.” Haechan replied dryly. “We said we’d come get you after practice remember?”

Renjun, in fact, did not remember. He had been so consumed by you that it had completely slipped his mind.

“Where’s your lovebird?” Jaemin questioned, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

“Haha.” Renjun deadpanned, his instinctive defensive nature coming out in full force. “She’s not my lovebird, she’s just my fencing partner. She’s a friend.”

You stood in the changing room, right next to the door yet at an angle so you were hidden from sight. Your heart had gone from feeling as though it as beating at the speed of light to not beating at all. You leaned as close as you could, hearing every word they said as clear as day.

“Yeah, sure, ‘fencing partner’. A ‘friend’. A friend you bring breakfast to every day?” Now it was Jeno’s turn to call his bluff.

“Coming from the guy who drives his so-called ‘friend’ in every morning.” Renjun rebutted quickly, watching how Jeno’s eyes drifted to the floor sheepishly at his words. He looked around the rest of the boys and spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m just trying to be a friend. Let it go.”

“No, that’s being her boyfriend.” Jisung piped up. Great, it seemed like they were going around the group, each of them taking a shot at Renjun.

This is not how he wanted this to go. He wanted time with you to tell you the truth, not wasting the only perfect moment he had by trying to get his friends to leave you two alone.

“She’s a cool girl. Chemistry is a lot more fun with her, I don’t know why you’re keeping her to yourself.” Jaemin laughed. While Renjun was more annoyed by their intrusion than he knew how to express, he couldn’t deny that knowing his friends already liked you was a great comfort.

“She makes you softer. It’s nice.” Chenle’s simple comment seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“For the last time, can you guys let it go!” Renjun snapped. “I cannot have the same conversation one more time, how many times do I have to tell you? She doesn’t mean anything to me!”

The words left his mouth like poison. Renjun had never told a bigger lie in his life. He didn’t even know where it came from, the sheer panic from being put on the spot by his friends, as well as missing the one opportunity he’d had to talk to you, overcame him.

Renjun wanted to tell his friends the truth so badly. He wanted to scream it out for the entire world to hear. But he needed you to hear it from him first, and he knew that he couldn’t trust Jaemin or Haechan not to let something slip. He had to do this right with you. And for that to happen, he couldn’t let them ruin it.

You couldn’t breathe. The words Renjun said echoing around your head over and over again.

“She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

You didn’t think you would ever forget hearing that.

Your eyes pricked, tears threatening to form. You couldn’t let him see you cry, couldn’t let him see that he had the power to hurt you the way that he did. You grabbed your bag and practically ran for the back door of the changing room. That was the closest to the exit of the sports hall and meant you wouldn’t have to walk anywhere close to him and his friends.

You snuck out, trying not to make a sound as you pulled on the main door and fled into the evening.

Only then did you let yourself cry.

They boys remained silent after Renjun’s outburst, all of them staring at him in shock. All except Mark who was looking over his shoulder.

“I-” Renjun sighed. “I’m sorry. I just- I had a plan, and this wasn’t it. Guys, I’ll tell you everything soon, please just give me this evening to sort this out.”

The boys nodded, knowing Renjun only got like this when he couldn’t figure out his emotions. They all stepped in, giving him various reassuring pats and squeezes on his shoulders and arms. Once again, all of them except Mark who just looked at Renjun with a sad look on his face.

“You’re an idiot.” He said, and Renjun frowned. Then he saw Mark gesture behind him and Renjun’s stomach dropped.

He saw the door beginning to shut and watched as you disappeared out of the hall without a word.

“She heard you.”

Renjun barely registered Mark’s words. He barely felt the boys surrounding him once again, none of them knowing what to say.

“No...” Renjun whispered.

His foil slipped from his hand, cluttering onto the floor with a clang that echoed around the hauntingly empty gym. It was metallic, final. But the silence that followed, was deafening.

vi. close enough to hurt

This had been one of the worst weeks of Renjun’s life. The guilt was eating him alive. You wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t even look at him and it was killing him. He wanted nothing more than to take your face in his hands and place kisses all over it until you smiled at him.

Your smile... He missed that.

The way your eyes crinkled at the sides and your shoulders lifted slightly when you laughed. Renjun loved being the reason behind your smile. It would instantly make his day to know that you were happy because of him. And now, you were crying because of him, and it broke him.

You knew Renjun wanted to talk to you. He wouldn’t come up to you unless you gave him some kind of sign that he could, so you acted as if he was dead to you. When he tried to make eye contact, you looked through him, and when he left those stupid muffins in your locker every morning, you threw them away.

You couldn’t believe you’d been so naive. You’d gotten so wrapped up in your idea of what you wanted to happen, that you hadn’t been able to see what was right in front of you. And you were given a sharp wake up call. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water over you when you heard what he said, shocking you out of your fantasy world and back into reality.

He said you meant nothing to him? Fine, then you’ll be nothing to him.

You’d even gone as far as to skip fencing practice for the past week. You just couldn’t face seeing him again, not yet at least. And you weren’t sure what you would say if he tried to talk to you. It currently took everything you had not to fall apart the second you saw him. You’d told your coach you’d hurt your wrist and gone out with Yuna and Winter.

Renjun thought he was going to cry when you didn’t show up for fencing. Apparently, you were injured but he knew that wasn’t true. He had to spend the session helping to coach the other fencers. Ironically, that was all he used to want. Now, every second of that practice was like torture.

“Are you going to fencing today?” Winter’s soft voice came from behind you.

You turned, sending a small nod her way. Both her and Yuna came up behind you, giving you a small group hug. They had barely left your side since it had all happened, and you couldn’t be more grateful for them.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” Yuna whispered.

“Me too.” You murmured dejectedly. “But I guess I needed to hear it. It’s better I know the truth about how he feels about me. I just... I just liked it better before it was better.”

You felt Winter’s hand gently rubbing your back and you took a shaky breath.

“Will you guys come with me to fencing?”

Both Yuna and Winter agreed without hesitation, knowing that you didn’t want to face Renjun alone.

“We can leave immediately after you’re done too.” Winter promised.

“Yeah, let’s have an excuse they can’t argue with. I’ll say I have the shits!” Yuna offered, her words prompting the first genuine laugh from you in a week.

“I love you guys.” You whispered as the three of you walked off to fencing together.

You weren’t sure what was going to happen when you saw him, but you weren’t going to let your guard down around him again.

Never again.

---

Renjun stood off to the side of the group of fencers, the instructions from his coach going in one ear and out the other. He didn’t have any energy to listen to the itinerary for today when all he could think about was how much he missed you standing by his side. He used to stand a little closer each practice, getting to the point your shoulders were almost touching. Now he stood alone, not wanting to be near anyone who wasn’t you.

“Y/n, glad to see you back.” His coach’s words finally broke through Renjun’s haze at the mention of your name.

His eyes shot up, seeing you greet the coach before walking into the changing room to get ready. Suddenly, Renjun forgot how to breathe. He didn’t even notice when the rest of the group dispersed into their pairs, too occupied by the thought of you, his mind running with all the things he wanted to say.

“Once she’s out here you two can carry on with your practice.” He vaguely registered what his coach told him, nodding slowly at his words.

His eyes shifted their gaze, moving to the stands where he knew Mark was sat. Mark had offered to come to Renjun’s fencing today, promising a friendly face. But what Renjun wasn’t expecting to see was Winter and Yuna taking seats next to him. Renjun guessed he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t bear to face fencing alone.

At that moment, you reappeared. Your helmet was in your hand, meaning that Renjun could clearly see the icy expression on your face. He couldn’t place the emotion though. It wasn’t anger or sadness, it was unreadable, as if all the time he had spent learning you had gone to waste. He was back at step one.

The three spectators watched as you stalked towards him, footsteps moving almost like a predator.

“She’s angry.” Yuna whispered.

“No. She’s hurt.” Winter corrected her. Neither of them expected Mark to chime in.

“I don’t blame her.” They both looked at him in shock, and he simply shrugged before he continued. “I don’t know why Renjun said what he said. He can’t seem to be able to admit to anyone that he’s head over heels in love with her, but we can all see it. He hasn’t been the same since they start fencing again.”

“I knew he felt the same. Something didn’t add up.” Yuna muttered, nudging Winter who nodded as Mark continued.

“Of course he does. He just struggles to say how he feels and, I don’t know how much my word will count for, but Renjun has been a wreck ever since that day. I haven’t seen him this hung up on anything before.”

Both girls looked at each other, sadness written all over their faces. You two had been so close to something good, just to have the rug pulled out from under your feet right before you got to enjoy it.

You stood in position, anchoring your feet securely in the ground as you focused your gaze on his foil.

You looked formidable, like nothing could knock you over. But Renjun felt the opposite. He had barely been sleeping, every move he made was sluggish and his body was heavy with guilt.

“Please just look at me.” He whispered, begging for some kind of sign that here was hope, that he hadn’t destroyed everything he had been dreaming of.

You didn’t reply, instead silently lifting your mask and pulling it over your face. Your hands were steady, and you were grateful for that. You weren’t going to let him see how fragile you felt around him.

He slowly lifted his own mask, covering his face with it. He didn’t want to fight you. Something was telling him this wasn’t going to end well.

“En Garde. Prêts? Allez!“

You lunged forward, your footwork faster and cleaner than Renjun had ever seen it. He barely had time to block, the impact sending shivers rippling up his arm.

“You look like you’re out for blood.” He joked weakly, trying to bring some kind of familiarity back between the two of you.

You didn’t respond, instead pulling back to attack again.

Renjun spent most of this fight on the defence. It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to attack you, he wasn’t given an opportunity to. You were like a whirlwind, throwing on lunge after another, winning point after point. Every strike and every counter made was an echo of the skills you’d learnt together, and Renjun could barely keep up.

Even in its violence, the fight was intimate. Memories of the time you’d spent together flashed through both of your heads. From teaching fencing to the kids, to winning the tournament, to Renjun asking you to consider joining fencing again this term, and even the failed science project from your childhoods. All of those scenes were now represented by the sound of your foils clashing, the harshness in the noise a painful reminder that the two of you were no longer on the same team.

Renjun heard his own words in his head, the lie that you meant nothing to him and Renjun wished he could reach in and physically pull that memory out so that he could stop reliving it.

You were one point away from a win. You retook your position, holding for a second to catch your breath before resetting your stance.

“I’m sorry.” Renjun whispered, barely audible. He didn’t know if you even heard him, if you did you gave no sign.

Instead, you lunged sharply, going straight for the kill. Renjun tried to parry, but it was too late, your foil hit him straight in the chest, signalling your victory.

For the first time in your life, you had beaten Huang Renjun. And yet, somehow, it didn’t feel like winning.

You held your position for a heartbeat longer, breathing hard, your foil still pressed into him. He didn’t move. Didn’t breathe.

Then you stepped back, lowering your weapon as you lifted a hand to pull your mask off. For the first time in two weeks, you stared Renjun in the eyes, your expression once again unreadable to him as you held back the tears you knew were threatening to form.

Renjun pulled off his mask too, his face pale and his eyes wide, almost fearful. Not because he lost the match, but because he knew in that moment that he’d lost you. He could see what was gone. The warmth and trust that had been growing between you was a memory now. Only distance remained. Distance that he’d created.

When you finally spoke, your voice was low, as if your devastating words were only for him to hear.

“There. I did what I came back to do. Now you don’t have to bother with me.”

You dropped your foil onto the strip, letting it clang against the floor as you turned away from him and walked back to the changing room.

Renjun was frozen, stood exactly where you left him as, once again, he watched you disappear from his sight. He let his gaze drift, his eyes coming down to focus on your discarded foil, lying still on the floor, reminding him how all of this was his fault.

He moved slowly, taking almost cautious steps towards it, as if it would disappear if he approached too fast. He leant down, gently picking up your weapon and running his fingers over the handle. He heard the door open, and out you walked with Yuna and Winter by your side. He knew what you meant by dropping your foil like that.

You weren’t coming back.

---

While fencing wasn’t over, Renjun hadn’t left the changing room since you’d gone. He had gotten out of his uniform after his coach told him to take the rest of the session off, then he’d sat down on the bench he’d been on with Chenle and hadn’t been able to move since.

“You deserved that.” Mark’s honesty cut through him like a knife.

“I know.” Renjun muttered, feeling the bench dip slightly as the older boy sat down next to me. “What’s wrong with me Mark? Why did I say that about her?”

“I don’t know.” Mark smiled sadly at his friend. “I think sometimes you care so much you overcompensate.”

Renjun let out a dry laugh at that.

“Chenle was right.” He whispered. “I ruined everything because I couldn’t admit how I felt.”

“Then admit it. How do you feel?” Mark asked him. Renjun met his eyes, the sincerity in Mark’s gaze made him spill every thought that had been floating around his head for months.

“I really like this girl. I mean it. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. She’s all I think about. And I’m not exaggerating. I think about her every single day, and that started before we were on winter break. You know, I have to leave at least an extra fifteen minutes early every morning so I can get her breakfast because the cafe closest to me doesn’t sell blueberry muffins and those are her favourite. I’m not sleeping because I know I hurt her, and I don’t know how to make this up to her. I just want her to know how much she means to me.”

Mark sighed, shuffling in his seat slightly.

“Renjun, you’re still holding back. Trust me when I say, telling someone how you feel can be one of the most terrifying moments of your life. But that moment when you know for a fact they feel the same way, that’s one of the best. But you have to be able to say it.”

Renjun hands began to shake as he felt the tears form in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away. Mark was right. He had to say it out loud. He looked up at his friend again and, this time, poured his heart out in three words.

“I love her.”

Mark grinned, pushing his shoulder against Renjun’s.

“Yeah, you do.”

Renjun let out a deep breath, feeling as though a huge weight on his chest had suddenly been lifted. He had no idea how much of a relief it would be to finally say how he felt out loud.

“I have to fix this.” His voice was desperate, and Mark reached out a hand to grab Renjun by the shoulder.

“We will. We’ll figure something out. You’re not going to lose her. She’s your girl, right?” Mark grinned, and Renjun smiled at his words, nodding back.

He couldn’t let you go. You were his girl, and he was going to do everything in his power to show you how much he loved you. Renjun would climb any mountain if you wanted him to, swim through any ocean and fight any beast. Nothing was going to stop him from making this right.

---

You stood outside the doors to the sports hall, both Winter and Yuna by your side. Waiting for you inside was your coach. Apparently, he wanted to talk to you in person regarding the email you’d sent him telling him you were going to quit fencing.

“It’s one short conversation, then you’ll be free.” Winter reassured you.

You nodded, taking a deep breath before pushing them open and walking in.

At first the hall looked empty. You were confused until the lights flickered on and you saw a figure sat on the stands close to the door. They looked up at you and your whole body tensed.

Why was Renjun here?

He stood up at the sight of you and you noticed the way his hands were shaking slightly.

“Where’s coach?” You asked shortly.

“He’s not here.” Renjun told you, and you didn’t waste a second before turning on your heel and heading straight back towards the door.

“Y/n please! Just talk to me, I just want a chance to talk.”

You ignored his begging, grabbing the door and pulling hard, except it didn’t budge. You leaned in close, peering through the small gap and seeing an ice hockey stick placed between the door handles, effectively locking you in.

“What the hell?” You shouted to whoever was outside.

“Don’t get mad, I asked them for help.” Renjun admitting, taking a few tentative steps towards you.

“Yuna, Winter, I’m going to kill you. You’re going to hell for this.” You pounded on the door with your fist. “Let me out now!”

Yuna and Winter exchanged nervous looks on the other side of the door. As soon as they had gotten you in, Mark had appeared, jamming the door shut with his stick. They knew that the only way to keep you there was making sure you couldn’t leave. The three of them were waiting together, hoping and praying that their plan would pay off.

“Y/n? I just want to talk.” Renjun was close to you now, so close you could smell the scent of his cologne, and you hated how all your feeling came rushing back when you did.

“Talk?” You whirled around, jabbing him in the chest with a pointed finger. “You lost the right to ask me for anything.”

“I know. But I’m hoping you’ll just hear me out.” He lifted two foils, eye wide with hope.

“You want to fence? You’ve got to be kidding me.” You muttered, rolling your eyes at him.

“That seems to be the way we talk best.” He sent you a hopeful smile as he held out your foil, and, against your better judgement, you took it from him.

“You get five minutes. Then I’m gone.” You caved, walking towards the strip and taking the starting position you were all too familiar with.

“En Garde. Prêt. Allez.“ He murmured, and your blades met in a flash.

The sounds echoed around the empty hall, only stopping briefly when you scored a point, the tip of your blade meeting Renjun’s chest with gentle precision. You were careful not to touch him too hard. Even though the blades were rounded to prevent injury, neither of you were wearing your gear and no matter how mad you were at him, you didn’t want to hurt him.

You reset, playing game after game together and you scoring every single time.

“You’re not even trying.” You accused, frustration taking over you. With every advance you made, he only deflected it, never even attempting an attack of his own.

“I’m trying to keep you here.” He admitted, the honestly in his eyes making it difficult to look away from him.

“So what? You think that fixes everything?” You argued, dropping out of your fencing stance and facing him off as yourself instead.

“No. I don’t. But I can’t live this way, I can’t live with you thinking that’s how I feel about you.” Renjun knew this was his only chance. He couldn’t hold back this time, couldn’t let fear stop him. If he held back in a match the way he’d held back with you, he’d lose every time.

Some of the tension in your shoulders visibly shrank at his words. “You can’t start saying things like that now. It’s not fair.” Your voice wasn’t as harsh, the edged had been softened and Renjun knew he was breaking through.

“I don’t care if I’m too late. I just need you to hear it.” He took a step forwards, relief flooding him when you didn’t instantly step away.

“I already heard how you feel about me Renjun.” Your voice may be softer, but you were still guarded, you still weren’t letting him in.

“No. You haven’t. I didn’t mean a word of that. I have never meant anything less than that.”

“Then why say it?” You exclaimed, the words echoing as your volume increased. Your arm lifted up to run your fingers through your hair, gripping it as you did.

“Because I was terrified!” Renjun’s voice was getting louder, matching yours. He let his foil slip through his fingers, dropping it to the floor along with his defences. “I was terrified of how much I cared about you. You’re all I think about, everything I do is for you. My every feeling is dictated by the look on your face. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t do anything without you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you. And I know sorry doesn’t fix it, but it’s the only place I can start.”

His words hung in the air, raw, vulnerable. You breathed heavily, searching his face for any hint that he wasn’t telling you the truth. But you found nothing. Renjun was stood there, baring his soul to you.

You took a small step back.

Panic flashed through Renjun’s features. He couldn’t lose you again, not when he still hadn’t said those words.

“Stay. Please stay. I have watched you walk away from me too many times over the last two weeks y/n. I can’t watch you go again. So stay. Fight me, argue with me, yell at me, anything! Just please, don’t leave me.” He was begging you at this point. His pride didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered, was you.

You stilled. You hadn’t even realised you had taken a step backwards. Instead, you kept your eyes on him. Renjun hadn’t looked away from you once. In his eyes you saw all that you had missed. All the love and affection that you held for him was gazing down upon you and you felt yourself crumbling underneath it.

“Y/n?” He stepped closer, only an arm’s length away.

“Yeah?” You breathed.

“I love you.”

There it was. The words he’d never been able to say. The few seconds before you responded were the longest of Renjun’s life. His heart was beating so hard he was sure it would have bruised his ribcage from the inside if that was possible.

You had tears in your eyes. Renjun’s confession shattered what was left of your resolve. He was here, offering his heart to you, and placing the power completely in your hands. You could fall back into him, finally telling him your feelings too, and trusting that he wouldn’t hurt you again. Or you could build your walls back up, and walk away.

It was an easy choice.

You dropped your foil and moved to close the space between the two of you, your hand gripping his shirt as his flew to your face as the two of you finally met in a passionate kiss.

It was as if life around you suddenly exploded. All the years of arguing and fencing that turned to friendship which turned to more came out in the kiss. You lost yourself in him, melting into his body as his hands instinctively moved down to your waist.

You pulled back slightly, releasing his shirt and feeling the way his grip on you tightened as you did. You smiled at that, bringing your hands back up to wind around his neck.

Renjun saw you smile, and it felt as though everything was right with the world. He leaned in, placing his forehead against yours and just breathed you in.

“I love you.” He whispered again, the words feeling so natural to say he hated that he’d hidden from them for so long.

“I love you too.” You confessed, your voice just as soft.

In that moment he knew, Mark was right. Nothing compares to learning the person you love, loves you back.

He squeezed his eyes shut, holding you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. Because you were.

Neither of you heard the door quietly open as Mark, Yuna and Winter all peeked into the room. They saw the two of you in your embrace, your foils crossed over each other on the floor and silently left again, leaving you to your moment.

“Be mine?” Renjun asked, finally opening his eyes to look at you again.

“Always.” You promised, gaze full of sincerity.

He couldn’t stop the huge smile from breaking out across his face at your response. This was all he had wanted for months, and now he had you, he wasn’t going to let anything take you away.

Renjun leaned in the kiss you again. He kissed you all over your face until you were giggling and pushing him away. You got your hands on his chest to create a bit of distance, yet he caught you hand in his as he stepped back.

“Are you up for dinner?” He proposed. “My treat of course.”

You smiled at him, interlocking your fingers.

“Sounds perfect.”

He lifted your hand and placed another kiss on the back of it. Together you walked towards the door, Renjun holding it open for you and the two of you wandered off into the night.

What was once combat had become so much more. It had become harmony, and partnership. You two were a perfect match. Two sides of the same coin. And nothing could come between you.

vii. crap, this is love isn’t it?

A laugh escaped you as Renjun pulled you up the grand staircase, never breaking stride as he reached what he was looking for. He let go of you to pull down the door handle, pushing it open to reveal a beautiful balcony.

Hanging lights and flowers decorated the small space and it was one of the most beautiful things you had ever seen.

Renjun stood in the middle, smiling at your wondrous expression.

“I found this last time I came. And I knew I wanted to show it to someone, back then I just didn’t know who.” He held out a hand to you, one you gladly accepted. “As soon as we won those tickets, I imagined myself bringing you here.”

He pulled you in, keeping on hand in yours and the other on your waist as the two of you gently began to sway.

“I’m glad you brought me.” You whispered, leaning your head onto his shoulder.

He turned and placed a gentle kiss on the side of your head. The fencing ball was in full swing downstairs, but the moment you had said you wanted some fresh air Renjun had leapt at the chance. He had cherished every single day he had with you ever since you’d promised to be his. Every morning you were met with breakfast, he walked with you between classes, and he cheered louder than anyone else when you won a fencing match.

“There’s one thing I haven’t quite figured out.” You murmured.

Renjun hummed in response, waiting for your question.

“Back when you used to leave breakfast in my locker, how did you know the combination?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Ahhhh.” Renjun laughed sheepishly. “Well, when we were younger your fencing locker combination was always your birthday, so I just tried that. That’s not a good password anyway, you should change it.”

“I have changed it.” You told him, grinning at the way his head tilted in confusion at you. “It’s now your birthday.”

Renjun didn’t know how he got so lucky. He looked at you, dancing with him under the soft yellow nights and the full moon, looking like a goddess in your black dress and you looked at him as if he hung all the stars in the sky.

Renjun truly believe that you were made for him.

He spun you around, watching as the light caught on the silver details on your dress as he did. And when he pulled you back in, he leaned in to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.

There was no music up here, no swords, just you and Renjun dancing together, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

A small gust of wind blew a piece of hair into your face. Renjun released your waist for a second to tuck it gently back behind your ear.

“Looking out for me are you?” You teased him, gently squeezing his hand in yours.

“I’m your partner.” He whispered. “It’s an occupational hazard.”

Love can either send you to heaven or burn you alive. And god, you danced straight into the fire of hell and back together. The two of you paused, standing close to each other in the silence, foreheads touching as you breathed in the second of quietness that was overshadowed by the presence of the person you loved. The moon shone down on you, casting you in an angelic glow, just as Renjun favourite words left his lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” You whispered back, smiling at him.

He shook his head, leaning forwards and resting his forehead on yours.

“That’s not possible.”

And, once again, you danced.