nothing serious. just catching up, laughing at some dumb story about a failed blind date your friend had gone on last weekend. your giggles came easy, light and unbothered, the kind that filled the room without trying too hard. renjun rarely got jealous. he trusted you, trusted the steady thing you two had built over the past year of dating like regular people—coffee runs, late-night walks, him teaching you simple mandarin phrases while you helped him practice korean recipes. he wasn’t the type to make scenes or overthink small stuff.  

but tonight something shifted.  

he glanced over his shoulder, knife pausing mid-chop as another soft laugh left your lips. his brows raised just a fraction, dark eyes narrowing slightly in that calm, observant way of his. not angry. just... curious. a little pointed. he set the knife down, wiped his hands on the dish towel, and turned fully toward you. the apartment smelled like garlic and sesame oil, warm and familiar.  

“who’s that?” he asked, voice even, almost casual. no edge, just straightforward like he was asking about the weather.  

you pulled the phone away for a second, covering the mic with your palm, still smiling. “just ji-eun. she’s telling me about this guy who showed up to dinner in pajamas. it’s hilarious.” you let out another small laugh, waving it off like it was nothing, and went back to the call. “sorry, go on—”  

renjun didn’t push. he turned back to the stove, stirring the pan with a wooden spoon, but the air between you felt a touch heavier now. not dramatic. just there. he tasted the sauce, adjusted the heat, moved with the same quiet efficiency. five minutes passed. your conversation wrapped up naturally, goodbyes exchanged, phone set face-down on the table.  

you stood up, stretching, ready to help set the table. “smells good. need me to grab plates?”  

he didn’t answer right away. instead he lowered the flame, turned to face you again. that same raised-brow look lingered, softer now but still present. “you were giggling a lot,” he said simply, tone calm, almost conversational. his mandarin accent curled lightly around the korean words, the way it always did when he was relaxed. “sounded fun.”  

you laughed it off again, stepping closer to loop your arms around his waist from behind as he faced the counter. “it was. nothing serious. you know how she gets with her stories.” your chin rested against his shoulder, breathing in the faint scent of his cologne mixed with dinner. “jealous?” you teased lightly, expecting the usual brush-off. renjun wasn’t possessive like that.  

he let out a short breath, almost a chuckle, but didn’t deny it outright. his hand covered yours on his stomach for a moment, warm and steady. then he turned in your hold, facing you properly. at 171cm he wasn’t towering, but the way he looked at you now—close, direct—made the space feel smaller. “not usually,” he admitted, voice low and matter-of-fact. “but hearing you laugh like that while i’m right here... hm.”  

you grinned, about to make another light comment, but he leaned in and kissed you once, slow and intentional. nothing rushed. his lips tasted faintly of the sauce he’d been tasting earlier. when he pulled back, his eyes held yours. “let’s see if you can laugh it off in a bit.”  

the words landed soft, but with enough weight that your stomach flipped. dinner was almost ready, but renjun had other ideas now. he turned the stove off completely, then guided you backward with gentle hands on your hips until your lower back met the edge of the table. no big production. just the two of you in the quiet apartment, the city hum faint outside the window.  

“renjun—” you started, half-laughing still, but he shook his head once, that calm expression never breaking.  

“sit,” he said, simple as that.  

you did, hopping up onto the table. he stepped between your knees, hands sliding up your thighs over your lounge shorts, thumbs brushing the hem. his touch was unhurried, familiar. he kissed you again, deeper this time, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your neck. when he broke it, his forehead rested against yours for a second. “you’re mine to make laugh like that,” he murmured, almost to himself, before his fingers dipped under the fabric of your shorts and underwear in one smooth motion.  

no rush. he worked you open slowly, two fingers pressing in with that precise care he always had—watching your face the whole time, reading every small reaction. your breath hitched. the giggles from earlier died in your throat, replaced by softer sounds you couldn’t quite control. his other hand stayed on your thigh, holding you steady.  

“still laughing?” he asked quietly, voice steady even as his fingers curled just right, thumb circling where you needed it. the kitchen light cast warm shadows across his features, highlighting the small dimple that appeared when his mouth curved slightly. he wasn’t smirking. just focused, present.  

you shook your head, biting your lip, hips shifting involuntarily. the table creaked faintly under you. renjun kept the pace even, adding a third finger when you were ready, stretching you with the same patient rhythm he used when cooking or practicing dance moves alone in the living room. your head tipped back, a low moan slipping out instead of any laugh.  

“good,” he said, almost approving. he leaned in to kiss along your jaw, then your neck, nipping lightly at the spot he knew made your breath stutter. his free hand slipped under your shirt, palm warm against your skin, thumb brushing over your chest in lazy strokes. everything felt grounded—his body heat, the faint sizzle of residual oil in the pan, your own pulse in your ears. no over-the-top dirty talk. just him being renjun: soft in the way he touched, firm in the way he didn’t let up.  

minutes stretched. your legs trembled around his waist. he brought you right to the edge with his fingers alone, then eased back, drawing a frustrated sound from you. “renjun, please—”  

“not yet,” he replied calmly, withdrawing his hand only to tug your shorts and underwear down your legs in one go. he freed himself from his own sweats, rolling on a condom from the drawer nearby like it was the most normal thing in the world. then he was back between your thighs, pushing in slow and deep, one hand gripping your hip to keep you from sliding on the table.  

the stretch burned nicely. you clutched at his shoulders, nails digging into his shirt. he moved with controlled thrusts, deep and steady, eyes half-lidded as he watched you fall apart. every time you tried to hide your face or bite back a sound, he’d tilt your chin back up gently. “let me hear,” he said, voice low but not demanding—just honest.  

you couldn’t laugh it off anymore. your mind went hazy, thoughts scattering as he fucked you right there on the kitchen table, dinner forgotten on the stove. the angle hit perfectly each time, his hips rolling in that precise way that came from years of dance training. sweat beaded on his forehead, but his breathing stayed measured, only breaking when he groaned softly against your ear.  

“you feel so good,” he whispered, simple and real, no flowery lines. his hand slipped between you again, fingers finding your clit while he kept thrusting. the dual sensation pushed you over fast—body tensing, a broken moan tearing from your throat as you came hard around him.  

renjun followed not long after, burying himself deep with a quiet curse in mandarin, forehead pressed to your shoulder. for a minute you both just breathed, his arms wrapping around you to keep you close. the apartment smelled like half-cooked food and sex now.  

he pulled out carefully, disposed of the condom, then helped you down from the table on shaky legs. a small, satisfied smile tugged at his lips as he brushed hair from your face. “dinner’s probably cold,” he said, voice back to its usual calm. “we can reheat.”  

you leaned into him, still catching your breath, no giggles left—just warm exhaustion and the quiet certainty that renjun, even when a flicker of jealousy showed, handled it like everything else: straightforward, without turning it into something bigger than it was. he kissed your temple once, then went back to the stove like nothing had happened, though the way his hand lingered on your lower back said otherwise.  

Blocked again.

You were sitting outside sprawled out in the middle of the yard, letting the hot sun beat down on you. You’d been told countless times that touching grass and getting enough vitamin D would clear your head, so you thought maybe it was worth a try.

Things were going fine until you checked your phone and noticed that you’d been blocked once again by the same guy who’s been turning your world upside down lately. Guess it’s another reminder that maybe you should have just left your phone inside. You were trying to connect with nature, but now you’re right back where you started.

Not surprised he blocked you, given the last argument you two had, but it still made you roll your eyes. You consider telling your best friend Jiwoo about it, but you could already imagine the lecture she’d give you. “You deserve better” and how “he wasn’t even all that.” Well she didn’t really know him like you did. Plus, her situation wasn’t exactly better.

Jaemin was arguably the total package. Looks, brains, and a heavenly body. To outsiders, he might seem like just a typical fuckboy, but that’s only because no one knew him like you did. He was the kind of guy to help an old lady cross the street, pick you up at 3 a.m. when you got too drunk without a single complaint, and he was great with kids. Was he a fuckboy? Oh, definitely. But you’d probably be one too if you looked like that.

Jaemin lived the fuckboy lifestyle, but he didn’t have the heart of a fuckboy and that’s what mattered. He just needed time and a little bit of work and he would be boyfriend material.

You throw your phone into the grass beside you and groan in frustration.

“This isn’t working,” you mutter, running your fingers through the blades of grass, hoping the cool dirt will calm your racing mind.

You try to will your mind to think about anything else, ANYONE else, but every single thought keeps circling back to Jaemin. The way he whispered sinfully sweet promises into your ear. The way his gentle yet strong hands trailed up the inside of your thighs teasingly.

Your fingers claw at the grass now, digging deep into the soil as you remember the last time you were with Jaemin.

You’d been busy all week. Halloween was coming up, and if you didn’t start on your costume now, you weren’t going to finish in time. Juggling sewing projects with work and school always gave you a headache, but this year, you were determined to start early. It took a week, some pricked fingers, a few shitty stitches, but your costume was finally done.

You got the text notification while hauling your heavy sewing machine back into storage.

“I’ve been thinking about you. I need to feel your legs wrapped around me again.” The text read.

Jaemin was always straight to the point, and you loved that.

Most of your relationships with guys never went beyond friends with benefits. You perfered it that way, not wanting the drama that came with a relationship, but something about jaemin had you wanting more. You were always hungry for his attention.

You feel yourself clench as your eyes linger over the words again and again. After the hell week you’d been through, you deserved a little treat.

“Come over.”

You were always direct, and Jaemin loved that.

Thirty minutes later, he had your knees pinned up against your chest, and your headboard knocking noisily against your bedroom wall.

His plush lips had kissed every inch of your skin, and his fingers gripped your thighs so tightly that you were sure they’d be bruised in the morning.

He always knew the perfect positions to contort your body so he could hit all the right spots, making your eyes flutter to the back of your head. You’d always try to hold back your moans, not because you were afraid of your neighbors hearing, but because Jaemin made the most sinful noises that only a careful ear could catch. He’d try to stifle them, but whenever you heard a moan slip from his lips, it had you clenching down hard around him.

You weren’t sure if the cold shiver running down your spine was from the images flashing across your mind or from the autumn breeze starting to pick up. It was still the beginning of August, so it hadn’t gotten chilly just yet, but you could feel fall breathing down the city’s neck as the hot summer days grew colder and colder.

Suddenly, you remember where you are and cringe, drawing your fingers from the earth and grimacing at the dirt under your nails.

Touching grass didn’t work.

You make your way inside to clean up, taking a cold shower in hopes of calming the heat between your legs. When you step out, you plop down on your couch and scroll through movie options, eventually choosing a movie that fits the Halloween aesthetic of October. You hit play on The Craft and settle in.

Suddenly, your phone rings, and you see it’s Jiwoo trying to FaceTime you. You hesitate for a moment, considering not answering. Right now you aren't in the best state of mind, and you tend to overshare and spill your business to your best friend unprompted. You didn’t want her to know you were still hung up over Jaemin but curiosity gets the best of you, and you end up answering.

“You're interrupting my movie,” you say before you flip your camera to show the TV screen.

“You're having a spooky movie marathon and I can’t even get an invite?! You are so fake! And to think I had great news to share!”

“Oh, yeah?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah! And now you’ll never know.” Jiwoo huffs dramatically.

“What a shame. I guess I’ll just hang up and go back to my movie—”

“Jiwon asked me to be his date to his Halloween party!” Jiwoo spills excitedly.

You sit up straighter at the news. “Jiwon? As in the guy you’ve had a one-sided crush on since middle school?”

“Well, it isn’t one-sided anymore, sister, so take that!”

You’re left in stunned silence. Honestly, you’re confused to say the least about this new development. Just last week, Jiwoo was using your shoulder as a snotrag, crying over Jiwon because he rejected her after she finally mustered the courage to confess.

“I mean, I’m happy for you, but isn’t this a bit odd? Don’t you think it’s weird that he rejected you just last week, and now he’s asking you to be his date to a Halloween party?”

“It’s absolutely not weird, besides I knew this would happen. I made it happen,” Jiwoo says confidently.

You can’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes. “And how exactly did you make this happen?”

“Magic! I paid an Etsy witch to cast a love spell on him, and she told me if I manifested it, it was sure to happen. And now, look!” Your friend sounds so giddy that you don’t have the heart to tell her she’s probably just gotten scammed.

You take a deep breath. “I’m happy for you, Jiwoo. Do you know what you’re going as?” You say trying to change the subject.

“Catwoman! Gonna make it really slutty!” she says excitedly.

You smile and nod. “That’s going to be so hot,” you say, snuggling deeper into your blanket.

“What about you?”

“It’s a secret. You’ll see,” you reply with a mysterious grin.

“Aw, come on!”

“Bye,” you say with a giggle before she can start badgering you and you end the call.

You turn your attention back to your movie. It’s at the part where Sarah puts a love spell on Chris after he spreads nasty rumors about her across the school. It reminds you of your conversation with Jiwoo. You’re not a fool, and you definitely don't believe in magic. Maybe something came over Jiwon, and he finally realized how amazing Jiwoo is. If not, and this was some huge joke to him, you’d be furious.

Before the Halloween party, you’re definitely going to do some detective work to find out the truth.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

It had been a week since Jaemin had blocked you, and it was starting to get to you. Normally, you’d have your fights, but eventually, one of you would get horny enough to break the no-contact rule. But this was the longest you’d gone without touching him. You’d even tried to sleep with another guy. This one talked a big game, and you were more than annoyed that he couldn’t back it up. Most guys like that never delivered what they claimed, but you were desperate and horny, and you were afraid you might just pounce on the next poor guy who looked at you for too long.

All week, you’d been on edge and annoyed. You need to find something to take your mind off of everything.

Jiwoo had invited you over to carve pumpkins. You loved going to Jiwoo’s house; it was so cozy, and she always decorated like crazy for the holidays. Outside were a few Halloween decorations, ghosts and ghouls, dangled from the porch. Inside, it transformed into a total autumn cottage, filled with scents of cinnamon and apple. Blankets and throw pillows in shades of reds and oranges adorned the couch, creating the perfect atmosphere.

You were outside setting up your pumpkin to smash while Jiwoo worked diligently on sculpting hers at the long oak table on her patio, perfecting the wicked smile of her Jack-o'-lantern.

The yard is softly illuminated by strings of orange and purple fairy lights. A scarecrow with a tattered hat and a plaid scarf stands near the garden where you had set up your smashing zone. Scattered cobwebs cling to bushes and the corners of the porch. The air smelled faintly of dried leaves and the sunset was a deep orange.

“Hes taking me out to get coffee tomorrow. I'm so excited!” she giggles.

You finish laying down the tarp and grab a bat that lay next to the shed in her backyard. “Do you already know what you're going to wear?” you ask, trying to stay positive and not let the doubt you had creep into your voice.

“I was thinking of that pretty brown dress I got last month! I haven’t had the chance to wear it yet. I think it will be perfect,” she says, sawing away at her pumpkin to give it sharp teeth. “Will you help me accessorize?”

You grip the bat tighter in your hand and smile. “Of course, I will,” you say, swinging the bat down and cracking open the poor pumpkin.

Jiwoo glances over her shoulder at you and winces at the sight of the pumpkin. “What did that poor guy do to you?” she jokes.

“It’s been a stressful week. I'm unwinding,” you huff, swinging the bat into the pumpkin again with a grin.

“Well, don’t destroy them all. I want to have a go next! And you still need to carve one. I want to put them outside my door. Renjun says they keep away bad spirits.”

You pause your attack on the poor pumpkin and look at Jiwoo. “Renjun? Who is that?”

“That’s the witch I hired off Etsy. He’s really cool and has been giving me spiritual advice.”

You narrow your eyes. “I thought you said it was a woman.”

“I thought so too, but I finally met him the other day, and he did a tarot reading for me. He’s so insightful, I think he’s really legit.” She’s practically bouncing with excitement.

You love your friend, and you hate to rain on her parade but sometimes she can be a bit of an airhead. You take a deep breath, trying to broach the topic without sounding like an asshole.

You always seem to come off that way.

“I think you should stop seeing that guy.”

“What? Why! He’s legit! He proved it to me. He said my grandma’s spirit was still watching over me. He told me her favorite scent was banana. How would he know that if he wasn’t legit?”

“I don’t know but things like this are usually a scam. Plus, I thought he was a witch, not a medium.”

“Maybe he’s both! Can witches talk to spirits?” She tilts her head inquisitively. She shakes herself out of thought. “Regardless, he got Jiwon to finally notice me! What, are you going to tell me that’s fake too?”

You stay quiet, grip tightening on the bat in your hand.

“Well, are you?!” Jiwoo yells in frustration. The hurt in her voice causing your heart to shatter.

“Jiwoo, I’m not saying that. I just think—”

“Why can’t you just be happy for me?” she whispers. “I think you should go.” She stands from the table, her eyes unable to meet yours.

You huff in disbelief and drop the bat. “Fine,” you say coldly, turning to walk past her.

She takes your spot on the tarp as you leave. She picks up the bat and swings down hard. The loud cracking sound of the pumpkin echoes as you slam the gate behind you.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Two days had passed since your argument with Jiwoo, and you still hadn’t apologized. You knew what you said was harsh, but it was the truth. A man doesn’t just suddenly become obsessed with you after years of ignoring your entire existence. If you turn out to be wrong, you’d apologize. But until then, you were determined to get to the bottom of this.

That’s why you were stalking your best friend. Something about the whole love spell thing still didn’t sit right with you, and you needed to see it in action with your own two eyes.

Well, maybe not your eyes.

“If she catches me spying, I’m snitching, I hope you know that,” a voice grumbles through the phone.

You were lying in bed, half studying for an upcoming test and half listening to the live updates you were getting.

You had your friend yuta follow Jiwoo and Jiwon on their coffee date because no matter how sneaky you tried to be, Jiwoo would notice you snooping from a mile away.

Courtesy of all the times you’d spied on her dates in the past.

Jiwoo was like a little sister to you. She had been your friend since kindergarten, and she had a soft, gentle heart that you couldn’t stand to see get hurt. If any guy was going to have your Jiwoo, it would have to be someone you could approve of without a doubt.

Of course, as you grew older, you became less overbearing and protective. Jiwoo was a grown woman now who could take care of herself, but something about this just didn’t sit right with you. You knew Jiwon, and while he wasn’t outright scum, he definitely hadn’t paid Jiwoo any mind in the past. He knew she had a crush on him since middle school, so why would he suddenly make a move now?

"Just hush and focus the camera,” you say, glancing at your phone.

Jiwon had taken Jiwoo to her favorite coffee shop and looked to be paying for both of their drinks. Okay, that was one green flag, but honestly, it was the bare minimum of what any girl deserved.

“Aw, he pulled her chair out for her,” Yuta says with a smile on the other line.

You make a sound of approval as you read over some of your notes, having been studying intently before Yuta's call

“He seems like a nice guy so far. He's really engaging in conversation, and his body language is open,” Yuta updates again.

Your eyes drift back to your phone, watching the scene unfold with your own eyes.

Jiwoo and Jiwon were sitting by the window of the coffee shop. Jiwon was turned completely towards Jiwoo, smiling softly at her. He offered her a sip of his drink, and she beamed at the taste. She looked genuinely happy, and most of all, he looked really in love.

“I see. Thank you Yuta. Sorry for the trouble, I just had to be sure. That’s enough,” you say.

Yuta flips the camera back to himself and offers you a comforting smile. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You’re just trying to be a good friend… maybe a little overbearing, but your heart was in the right place.”

Your heart tightens. Maybe you were wrong, Jiwon seems so genuinely in love that it’s almost scary. You had almost ruined this moment because of your judgment and inadvertently hurt your friend’s feelings in the process. An apology was definitely in order. But before that, you needed to meet this witch called Renjun.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

It took hours to find him on Etsy, but you finally came across the post that might have caught Jiwoo's eye:

NOW $299.99

Avoidant to obsessed

Cold to loving

Make them crave you

Please provide the following details in the personalization:

🌟 Your full name and date of birth

🌟 The same information for the person you're focusing on 💖

🌟 Your email address

🌟 detailed description of what your manifesting

renjunsrituals ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Your eyes nearly bulge from your skull. Three hundred American dollars? Was Jiwoo huffing paint when she bought this? There’s no way in hell you’re paying that. You scoff at the post and roll your eyes. Then, you click on the seller's name and send a message.

“Hello, I’m interested in getting a tarot card reading.”

You didn’t see any mention of readings in the listings, so you figure it must be an additional service he offers to clients.

“Must buy something from my shop first,” the reply states bluntly.

“Please, I really only need a reading. I was recommended by a friend who said your readings are accurate. I just want to see for myself.”

A few minutes pass without a response, so you send another message.

“How will I know this isn’t a scam without a tester product? $300 is a lot of money to spend on something I’m not sure will work. Please?”

“Buy and find out. I will provide a 100% refund if the results are unsatisfactory,” came the reply.

You tilt your head, impressed by his confidence in his product, but that wasn’t enough to get $300 out of you.

“Tarrot reading please :)”

“Are you having hardships? Want me to cast a spell to find you a job? Either pay or I’ll block you!”

You groan and finally give in. You know you won’t get anywhere if he ends up blocking you. Jiwoo doesn’t realize how lucky she is to have a friend like you.

You return to the love spell post and fill it out. You enter the first name that comes to mind:

Na Jaemin.

After your payment is processed, your phone lights up with a notification:

“Come to this address for your tarot reading.”

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

The next day, you head to the address Renjun sent, and honestly, you weren’t quite sure what to expect but it definitely wasn’t this. You had a clear image in your head: following some breadcrumbs through the woods and arriving at a little cottage nestled in the trees, possibly to be eaten by the witch himself. Instead, you’re standing in front of a sleek, modern building in the heart of downtown. It’s the kind of place that screams luxury.

You pause for a moment, caught between disbelief and curiosity. Renjun’s either pulling off the greatest scam of all time or running a wildly successful love spell business. Honestly, you’re not sure which option you’re hoping for more.

Before you can even step inside, a heavy, secure door blocks your way. You press the button on the intercom to Renjun's unit number, and almost immediately, an unfamiliar voice calls out, “Come on up.”

The door clicks and you tug it open, stepping into the building. Inside, a concierge greets you with a professional smile. You check in, feeling a little out of place among the polished decor and sleek furniture, and they direct you to the elevator. They give you clear instructions on how to reach Renjun’s unit.

You stand in front of his door, your hand hesitating for a moment before you gently knock. You can hear faint footsteps approaching inside, and then the door swings open to reveal Renjun.

“Hey,” Renjun says casually. “Come in.”

You weren’t expecting him to be around your age. You had imagined some decrepit old man not the polished young man that stood in front of you now. You step inside, taking in your surroundings. The condo is spacious, with high ceilings, modern art on the walls, and floor-to-ceiling windows offering a stunning city view. It’s far from the rustic cottage you’d imagined. This is pure luxury, the kind you’d expect from a celebrity.

Your feelings of suspicion begin to creep back into the back of your mind as you take in the space. If Renjun were really running a love spell business, there wasn’t anything around that gave off that impression. No jars of frog legs, no big, over-glowing cauldrons like you had imagined. It’s not like he was making love spells with just thyme and parsley so where was he keeping all his supplies?

You’re here for answers, and you were going to get them.

Renjun shows you to his living room and sitting on his glass-top coffee table was a deck of tarot cards and a mat.

“Ill be with you in just a minute” he says gently. His voice was soft like honey, the kind that made you want to believe every word that came out of his mouth.

When he returns, he has a single candlestick in hand and a lighter. He sits right across from you and begins setting up on the coffee table, lighting the candle. You’re afraid it might tip over and fall, but it stands there perfectly still, even the flame does not dance as Renjun picks up the cards from the table and starts shuffling them. You watch him prepare the cards, and you break the silence with a question.

“Can witches talk to spirits?”

Renjun gives you a look. “We prefer the terms sorcerer or mage. But regardless, yes some do while others stray away from that field. Some spirits can be..." he pauses to find the right word. "Tedius to work with. Why? Is there someone you want to reach out to?”

You shiver at his seriousness, and the fire of doubt you initially felt about his work wavers slightly. “No, just curious.”

“Well, then, let’s begin,” he says, leaning forward slightly as he starts to shuffle the cards.

He takes a card from the deck, shuffles, and then lays it face-up on the table. It’s The Magician, a card often associated with skill, resourcefulness, and manifestation.

Renjun looks up at you with a small, knowing smile. “The Magician,” he says softly. “It’s about showing what’s already there. It can also mean taking initiative, not waiting for things to happen but making them happen. Sounds like you’re here for answers, right?”

You nod, feeling a flicker of surprise but you shrug it off. Everyone who goes to a tarot reading is going for answers, you reason. He wasn't that impressive.

He flips another card: The High Priestess.

“This one’s about intuition, secrets, and trusting what you feel,” he continues. “You came with questions, and I think you already know the truth deep down. Sometimes, what we see on the surface isn’t the whole story.”

Renjun picks up the deck again, shuffling smoothly before drawing a card and laying it on the table. It’s the Three of Cups, a card symbolizing friendship, celebration, and community.

He looks up at you, eyes kind and steady. “You came here looking to help a friend. You think this friend is in need of saving when really they need a friend who lifts them up, who believes in them, who stands by them even in times of doubt.”

That last line hits a little too close to home, and you can feel shame bubbling up in your gut. You shove it down, steel your gaze, and try to keep your emotions in check.

“The love spells. If they are legit why isnt mine working?” you say voice trembling in suppressed annoyance

Renjun’s expression remains calm. “You must give these things time. The reviews never lie” he says with a hint of snark.

“Bullshit!” you snap, voice rising. You push yourself to your feet. “You’re nothing but a scam, and I’m going to get proof. When I do, you better hope I don’t find you.”

Without waiting for a response, you turn and storm out of his apartment, your mind racing with a hundred different emotions.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

You didn’t believe in magic, but that might be the only explanation for why Jaemin is standing in front of you with a bouquet of flowers and an apology. “I know we’ve had our fair share of arguments, but that just proves how much we’ve grown. I’m sorry for being distant and for being immature by blocking you instead of working things out,” he says, pushing the gift in your direction.

Jaemin admitting he's immature?

Renjun’s definitely getting a five-star review from you later. You almost feel bad about chewing him out the other day.

“I know this probably isn’t nearly enough to make up for everything, so I got us a dinner reservation at 7. Please say you’ll go?” he asks hesitantly.

So apparently magic is real and it can make world-renowned playboy Na Jaemin take you out on a date.

Your hesitation lingers, but this is what you wanted, so you nod. “Sure, Jaem, I’d love to,” you say with a small smile. He leans forward and kisses you on the cheek.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

After countless calls and texts, your friend Jiwoo finally decided to hear you out, so you took her to her favorite pho place downtown, hoping to smooth things over with good food and enough apologies.

She was already waiting outside when you arrived, and you offered her a small smile and a wave. You walk inside, and a waiter leads you to a cozy booth before taking your order for some drinks.

When the waiter leaves, an almost awkward silence settles between you two as your leg bounces nervously under the table. You had the jitters which wasn’t common for you but you hated when Jiwoo was upset with you.

“Look, Ji, I’m sorry for what I said. I shouldn’t have been so harsh,” you begin.

Jiwoo crosses her arms and looks at you, urging you to continue. “Be more specific.”

“You know…about saying that Renjun was a fake witch and implying that Jiwon’s feelings for you weren’t real,” you admit.

Jiwoo relaxes a little and speaks softly. “I know you’re just trying to look out for me, but I’m really happy right now. I need you to be here for me. Even if it’s fake, can’t I enjoy it just a little while longer?”

You hate that you made your friend feel like shit. She was right. If jiwon made her happy, then that should be enough for you. "No, I was wrong. Jiwon seems like he genuinely likes you. He's actually a gentleman, and anyone who treats you like a princess has my stamp of approval."

Jiwoo raises an eyebrow at that. “I'm glad you've had a change of heart,” she teases, a hint of amusement in her voice.

“Well, I may have stalked you two a little to check him out first,” you admit softly, knowing she’s about to chew you out for invading her privacy.

“You did what—” she starts, but just then, the waitress interrupts.

“Are you guys ready to order?”

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Dinner dates, movie nights, walks in the park, the whole nine yards. That's what Jaemin has been delivering ever since he took you out on that first dinner date. You might have to send Renjun an apology text for ever doubting him.

You're currently cuddled up under the covers of your bed with Jaemin and a few snacks, watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. You were debating whether it qualified as a Halloween or Christmas movie, but eventually reached a stalemate and found yourself immersed in the world on the screen.

Laid against his chest, the warmth of his tangled limbs keeping out the autumn chill, it’s perfect. You’ve always wanted to spend October doing cute couple things like going to a pumpkin patch, or having scary movie nights with your partner.

Despite your best efforts, your eyelids start to grow heavy, and you begin to drift into sleep.

Jaemin shifts deliberately, gently prodding you with his shoulder to keep you awake. "You're really falling asleep on me?" he asks softly with a teasing smile.

You giggle and nod, keeping your eyes closed as you snuggle deeper into his chest.

“Princess, you’re missing the best part!” he whines.

You grumble in response but stay put.

“I’m not going to let you use me as a pillow then,” Jaemin threatens, rolling you off of him with a laugh.

Playfully stubborn, you feel around for a pillow but he quickly throws them all off the bed.

“Nuh uh, wake your ass up,” Jaemin teases.

You try to fight down the laughter, pulling the sheets up to your chin to get comfortable once again.

“Oh, you’re tired, huh?” Jaemin says, the devilish smile that plays on his lips is almost audible.

You fake a yawn and snore softly, playing into the game you two have going on.

Jaemin's fingertips dance lightly up your thigh, sending shivers in their wake. "Too bad," he murmurs, his hands reaching your waistband. "I've been wanting to play with you all night." He tugs at your shorts, snapping the fabric against your skin. "And I love how you look in these shorts. Makes me want to do all sorts of things."

You can't help but bite your lip as a soft whimper escapes you. Jaemin's hand slides under your tank top, finding your waist and then moving up to cup your breast. He toys with your nipple, sending a jolt of pleasure through you. "Remember how much fun we had last time? When you let me leave marks all over these sweet curves?" he whispers, his breath tickling your ear.

Your body shudders at the memory, and you can't help but lean into his touch, craving more.

In the dimly lit parking lot, Jaemin slides his seat back and pulls you to straddle his lap. "I just want to look at you, sweetheart," He promised as he cups your face, his thumb brushing your cheekbone. "I just love seeing you on top of me," he murmurs.

His gaze is intense, and you feel your resolve wavering. You had asked to keep things PG-13 for your first official date, but the way he's looking at you makes you question your own rules.

He leans in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. His tongue explores your mouth, and his hand slides from your cheek to the base of your neck. When he pulls back, he groans softly, licking his lips. He leans back in, this time trailing kisses down your throat, making you shiver.

He slides your dress straps down your shoulders, exposing your breasts to his eager mouth. He explores every inch of your chest with his lips, but doesn’t go further than that, leaving you breathless and craving more.

You remember all too well the mirror reflecting the dark purple bruises left by his lips the next day.

Still you don’t move, wanting to see how much more you could tease Jaemin.

Jaemin playfully sighs, pulling his hand away from your skin and out from under your shirt. You shiver at the loss of his touch, feeling a sudden chill.

"Maybe you really are tired," he teases, leaning back against the headboard. "Guess I'll just have to take care of myself then." He says with a wicked grin.

You hear Jaemin settle onto the bed, his clothes rustling as they hit the floor. Your heart pounds in your chest as you listen to him spit, followed by the wet, rhythmic sound of his hand stroking his cock. His rough moans fill the room, and you can't help but imagine him biting his lip, eyes fluttering closed.

“Ugh fuck, ‘want to be in between your legs pretty girl.”

You can hear the speed at which he strokes himself change from short fast strokes to slow long strokes, the ones you know he loves, the ones that send his eyes rolling to the back of his head. He always looked so pretty like that, It was your favorite sight in the world.

Screw this.

You open your eyes to find him just as you imagined; head thrown back, mouth agape, chest heaving with each breath.

Without hesitation, you crawl between his legs, pushing his hand away and replacing it with your own. You envelop his cock with your lips, moaning at the salty taste of his precum. Jaemin tangles his hand in your hair, guiding you as he moans your name.

"That's my girl, always playing hard to get," Jaemin teases, but you ignore him, focusing on the task at hand. You take him deep into your mouth, coating him in your saliva, and begin to pump his shaft. You lavish attention on the head of his cock, fondling his balls gently. The sound of wet, sucking noises fills the room, and Jaemin's grip tightens in your hair.

"Fuck, you're amazing at that," he gasps, his breath becoming shallower. His hips begin to move subtly, fucking your throat before he lets out a reluctant groan and pulls you off him.

"Come here," he growls, pulling you to sit on top of him. He looks up at you, his eyes heavy with lust, but you can still see the adoration behind them. He grabs the back of your neck and pulls you into a messy, tongue-swallowing kiss, showing you he doesn't care that his cock was just in your mouth.

You grind against him in slow, tantalizing circles, making him thrust up into you impatiently. With a growl, he flips you onto your back and pulls down your underwear and panties in one swift motion. He grips the neckline of your tank top and pulls it down your chest, baring you to him completely.

"Fuck, you look so good," he murmurs, stroking himself as he takes you in. Without hesitation, he grips the base of your neck and holds you still while he lines himself up with your entrance, then thrusts in deeply.

You gasp, your back arching as a long drawn out moan escapes you. He sets a fast, steady pace, driving into you with each thrust. He loves missionary because it gives him a perfect view of your face, to see every expression of pleasure that crosses your features as you throw your head back and lose yourself in the moment.

Jaemin's thrusts become quicker and shallower as he nears his climax. He reaches down between your bodies, rubbing at your clit to bring you along with him.

"I'm so close," you moan, your fingers digging into the sheets beneath you. Your thighs tremble as you reach your peak alongside Jaemin.

After he helps you clean up, you snuggle up to his chest, a content smile playing on your lips.

“What’s so funny?” Jaemin asks, matching your grin.

“Nothing, just thinking about everything that happened over these past few weeks,” you reply.

Jaemin shifts comfortably and looks at you with affection. “Oh, yeah? Tell me about it.”

You laugh and sit up in bed. “Well, for starters, I think I met a real witch.”

Something in Jaemin’s expression shifts slightly, but you ignore it and keep going.

“It’s so embarrassing to admit, but when you had me blocked, it was killing me inside,” you say with a cringe. “And I may have paid an Etsy witch a ridiculous amount of money to cast a love spell on you.”

You turn to look at Jaemin because he’s been uncharacteristically quiet. “It’s stupid, probably a scam, but here you are. So tell me, did it work? Do you feel an undying love for me?” you tease, playfully shoving at his shoulder.

Only your laughter fills the room, but it dies down almost immediately when you notice Jaemin hasn’t smiled once during your story.

Fuck. Did you scare him? Maybe he thinks it’s creepy that you tried to put a love spell on him, fake or not.

“Jaem—” you start, but he quickly cuts you off.

“I have something to tell you, and I have a feeling I know exactly how you’re going to react. But please, just hear me out,” Jaemin finally says, looking at you directly.

If you were nervous before, you’re definitely shitting bricks now. You’ve never seen Jaemin this serious.

“Y/N, these last few days I’ve spent with you were the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Everything I’ve said to you is true, but I have to admit that I knew about the love spell.”

You freeze in confusion. “You knew about the love spell?”

“Renjun isn’t a real witch,” Jaemin says. “He contacted me and told me I had an admirer, and that he would pay me to pretend to be in love with them.”

Before he can finish, you’re out of bed and pacing the room, your mind racing. “Are you fucking serious?! And you just went along with it? So what, were you going to string me along until when? You got bored? Until Renjun paid you?”

Jaemin hops out of bed, reaching out to steady you, but you pull away sharply. “Please, just listen,” he pleads. “It’s not like that. I do like you. I had already agreed before I even knew it was you! I don’t care about the money!”

Your eyes narrow, anger and hurt bubbling up all at once. “Jaemin, why wouldn’t you tell me from the beginning? Even if you’re telling the truth, why hide that you knew? This is so messed up.”

“Almost as messed up as you trying to put a love spell on me?” he counters, voice sharper.

“I didn’t think it would work! And I was right. So what’s your excuse now?” You scoff.

Jaemin sighs and tries to reach out again, but you jerk away. “You need to go. I can’t do this right now.”

Jaemin's eyes flicker with hurt before he turns away, leaving you alone in the room. The door closes softly behind him, and suddenly, you're overwhelmed. Your vision blurs as tears start streaming down your face.

You're unsure how to feel. You want to believe Jaemin is telling the truth, but his sleazy actions in the past make you doubt him. Maybe everyone was right, and you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did. After all, Jaemin was a notorious fuckboy—he didn’t earn that title without telling a few girls sweet lies.

Disgust rises within you, but more than anything, you feel angry. Renjun had played you, and that meant he had played Jiwoo too. Renjun paid Jiwon to take Jiwoo out on a few dates before ultimately breaking her heart. Well you would break him before that happened.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

You greet the receptionist at Renjun’s condo before making your way up to his unit. You had contacted him under the guise of needing a palm reading, but your real plan was to confront him just before you slap that slimy, scheming face of his!

He answers the door with a smile, but before he can greet you, you push past him and storm inside.

“YOU SCAMMING SON OF A BITCH!” you yell.

“Would you keep your voice down? You're going to disturb my neighbors,” he says, raising his hands defensively, trying to calm you.

“Why? Don’t want the neighborhood knowing you’re running a huge scam?” you shout again.

Renjun bristles and quickly moves past you to finally close and lock the front door. When he turns back to face you, you shove him up against it, pinning him with your forearm pressed across his chest.

“If you don’t want to choke on your tarot cards in the next few minutes you’re going to refund me and Jiwoo all our money right now,” you grit out.

“I can’t do that!” Renjun says defensively. “I’ve already used it to pay this month’s rent!”

You feel your anger flare up again. “So the whole ‘100% refund if the results are unsatisfactory’ was bullshit too? Oh, this day just keeps getting better.”

You wind your hand back, prepared to start smacking him around. At the very least it would make you feel better.

“Wait, wait, wait! It’s not too late! I can fix this!” he pleads.

You freeze and glare at him. “Unless you make me a real love potion to give to Jiwoo before this douchebag rips out her heart, I’m going to rip out yours.”

“I can! You have to trust me. I really am a sorcerer. I can make your friend a true love potion,” he insists.

You shove him harder against the wall. “You lying bastard. If you could do that, why didn’t you do it from the start? Sorcerer my ass. I’m gonna—”

Suddenly, your body begins to tingle, and a shiver shoots straight through your bones. You feel something otherworldly engulf you like a mist. The next thing you know, you’re looking up at Renjun’s shoes. You open your mouth to speak, but what comes out horrifies you.

Croak. Croak.

You try to move your hands, to speak or fight, but your new body won’t obey. Instead, you leap several feet into the air. You scream…

Well, you try to but the sound that escapes is just another croak.

Renjun catches you mid-air, holding your cold, slimy form in his hands.

“If you’d just listened,” he sighs, “none of this would’ve happened. Like I said, I’m a real sorcerer—or witch, as you folk like to call it.” Renjun rolls his eyes. He didn’t bother going into the details, non-magic folks always had trouble with the right terms and he wasn’t interested in debating labels.

“Anyway, I want to help your friend, but I need time. Making a proper love potion isn’t easy. The magic is complex and delicate. Without the right calculations and care, it can turn into an obsession spell. Those are dangerous and really hard to undo. True love potions are tricky to get right, and with how much work it takes, I can’t promise every batch will get the attention it needs. That’s part of why I’ve been scamming. But if it’s just one, I can give it a shot. I’ll need your help.”

You sit in his palm, blinking at him with your bulging toad eyes, taking in his words through your new, amphibian ears. He chuckles softly, taking in your toad body before clearing his throat and regaining his serious composure.

“Now I’m going to change you back. If you pick another fight, I might turn you into something worse… like a worm,” he says, amused, with a slight chuckle.

There’s nothing you can do besides wait for him to change you back. You can’t even form the words to promise him you’ll be on your best behavior. You contemplate the risk of being turned into a worm forever just to beat him over the head with his own broomstick, if he had one.

Renjun leans forward and gently places a soft kiss on the top of your toad head.

The same strange sensation from earlier floods your system. When you open your eyes, you’re eye-to-eye with Renjun again, and you let out a sigh of relief. Before you can open your mouth to ask him what his plan is for the love potion, you feel a breeze. Renjun looks at you with beet-red cheeks, frozen in place. His hands rest on your hips from where he held you in your toad form, faces barely an inch apart. You can feel his clammy palms against your bare… skin.

You look down and see your clothes in a pool around you. You scream for real this time.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

You had been going to Renjun’s place every day. He told you he’d need your help if he was going to make the love potion before Halloween. Apparently, that’s when Jiwon was planning to break up with Jiwoo. You found yourself running around town, helping him gather various magical items from hidden shops. He’d dubbed you his apprentice, but honestly, you felt more like his errand boy.

Earlier that day

“On 8th Street, there’s an alleyway next to the coffee shop I had you get me coffee from the other day. If you wander into it at either 3 p.m. or 3 a.m., a shop will appear. Tell Giles I sent you. He knows what you’re there to collect.”

You jot down the instructions in your notebook and nod.

“Oh, and grab me a coffee on your way back,” he adds.

You roll your eyes.

You walk back to Renjun’s condo with a brown paper bag sandwiched between your arm and two coffees in hand. You didn’t have the heart to look inside the rolled-up bag the old man at the magic shop slid to you, too afraid that some three-eyed creature might come jumping out at any moment. You sip on your drink, your mind wandering as nothing eventful happens on the quiet street.

Maybe you could get Renjun to make you a truth potion to give to Jaemin. You needed to find out if he’d been honest all along but that could wait. Your focus was on fixing the Jiwon-Jiwoo mess. Honestly, the thought of giving Jiwon a love potion to make Jiwoo happy didn’t bother you as much as it probably should have. It took you about two seconds to realize that you didn’t care who you had to sacrifice, jiwoo deserved happiness, even if it meant a little manipulation. Plus, if Jiwon agreed to this scam that made him a colossal douchebag, he could probably use a little extra love in his cold heart.

You finally make it back to Renjun’s place, luckily in one piece. The other errands he had sent you on were not nearly as easy as this one. You pass him his drink and glance over his shoulder at the scattering of books sprawled across the floor and the cluttered dinner table, where open pages and notes are strewn about. The scent of incense lingers in the air, mingling with the faint aroma of coffee.

“So, how exactly does the love potion work?” you ask, curiosity piqued as you settle into the worn armchair nearby.

Renjun stretches, taking a break from the table he’s been slaving over. “Despite popular belief, it doesn't turn you into a mindless love slave," he explains. "You still have full control over your thoughts and actions, but it heightens the positive feelings someone has for another. It’s like putting rose-colored glasses on, deluding them into overlooking their partner’s flaws and focusing only on what they love about them.”

“Ah, I see,” you say, nodding slowly. “So, it’s like that saying, love makes you blind and stupid. Like when girls fall for guys who are clearly red flags but they choose to ignore everything bad about them anyway.”

Renjun chuckles softly. “Yup. Maybe it’s a ‘delulu’ potion,” he jokes, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “While it’s less dangerous than an obsession spell, it can still be risky for the person it’s cast on. Let’s say your friend is a huge red-flag manipulator, this potion would make the guy completely blind to that.”

“My Jiwoo is nothing like that, rest assured,” you say, staring at the jumble of books and mystical artifacts around you. Renjun’s explanation makes you feel more confident. At least you wouldn’t be completely stripping Jiwon of who he was or something like that.

Renjun hums a soft melody as he works, his eyes skimming over pages and pages of ancient books

“Where’s the thing I sent you to get?” he asks, taking a slow sip from his coffee, eyes still on the open pages.

You get up from your chair and find the crumpled brown paper bag before handing it over. Renjun sets his drink down carefully, then reaches inside and pulls out an item that instantly makes your stomach churn. You’re glad you didn’t open the bag on the walk back.

“Ogre’s tongue,” Renjun explains, examining the thick, slimy-looking piece with a keen eye. “Fresh one, too. Exactly what I needed. Thanks.”

You pinch your nose and grimace. “You’re welcome,” you mutter, feeling a little queasy.

Renjun turns back to his work, busying himself with the ingredients and the pages in front of him. You find yourself standing awkwardly in his living room. Normally, you’d have made an excuse to leave by now after completing his errands, but over the past few days, you’d grown accustomed to his company. Plus, things seemed to be ramping up in the preparation of the potion. Not every day do you get to witness a witch brewing a potion, especially one as complex as this.

Curiosity gnaws at you. You want to see how much progress Renjun has made since the first day. Quietly, you watch from your spot, trying to peek over his shoulder to see what he’s doing with the ogre’s tongue and the other ingredients you’d gathered.

His hands move with practiced diligence, slicing, mixing, and sorting through the ingredients. You feel yourself rising onto your tiptoes, eager for a better view. Clumsy and distracted, you trip forward over a book lying on the floor.

Renjun sighs, and his hands finally freeze mid-motion. “You want to watch?” his calm voice asks.

You nod, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“Then make yourself useful,” he commands, a hint of a smirk curling at his lips. “Be my hands.”

Without a word, you step closer and fall into step beside him, ready to assist in whatever way he needs. You do your best to keep pace, you don’t want to hinder his progress with any clumsy mistakes. Together, you work in perfect harmony for hours.

These days, you’ve grown better at reading Renjun. You notice it, the slight crease in his brow, the way he slams another book shut with more force than necessary. Renjun clicks his tongue in frustration, flipping open another book, pages fluttering wildly.

“What you’re looking for isn’t in any of these books, is it?” you ask softly, trying to piece together the flicker of annoyance behind his furrowed brow.

Renjun bites his fingernail, his expression tightening. “Correct,” he says dryly. His focus is intense, and you can’t help but love the look. It’s like he’s an unstoppable force, relentless in his pursuit of the answer. He’s so absorbed in his work, and you’re captivated watching him. You love the way his mind races, the way his hands move with purpose.

“This is what I’ve managed to create based on what I could infer from my sources,” he says softly, his voice low. “It’s something, but it’s not perfect and that’s what’s been bothering me.”

“Is there anything I can do? A book I could find that might help?” you ask, eager to contribute.

Renjun stretches, glancing around the room for his coffee cup. “No, it’s getting late. It’s probably best if you go home and get some rest.”

You shake your head stubbornly. No way are you leaving after all the progress you’ve made today. You’re in apprentice mode now, and he wants to send you away? Not happening.

“I’m not tired. I want to help,” you insist.

Renjun sighs, but his brows furrow in thought.

“What is it? Did you just think of something?” you press.

Renjun groans softly. “Please. It's nothing,” he mutters, dismissive.

“Tell me what it was!” you whine, stepping closer.

He rakes a hand down his face, clearly torn.

“The potion should be stable enough for a test trial. If I can see how it reacts in a subject, I can tweak it accordingly,” he finally says, voice quieter.

A smile spreads across your face. “Okay, well, obviously I’ll be your guinea pig,” you say excitedly.

“It’s too dangerous,” Renjun replies firmly. “I’d rather spend a few more days searching for the right spell book and making sure it’s right.”

“Jun, we can’t afford to wait,” you argue. “I need this potion now! You’re smart and I trust you. We can do some trial and error.”

Renjun’s expression shifts from curiosity to stern resolve. “No,” he says firmly. “Go home, get some rest. We’ll figure out another way tomorrow.” He begins tidying up the mess.

Frustration bubbles up inside you. “No,” you state, voice steady, and walk over to the countertop where Renjun was mixing the potion earlier. Without hesitation, you snatch up the flask and take a huge swig. Almost immediately, your face contorts as you cough and retch from the bitter taste.

Renjun whips around, eyes wide with alarm. “Are you kidding me?! Have you gone mad?” His gaze sharpens as he notices your eyes suddenly glossing over.

Renjun walks up to you, grabbing your shoulders. “How do you feel?” he asks, his voice steady and attentive.

“I feel fine,” you say, voice slightly hoarse, “aside from my tongue still recovering from that assault.” Then, locking eyes with Renjun, you add playfully, “Maybe a taste of you could wash it down.”

He freezes, caught off guard by your sudden shift in character.

Renjun quickly clears his throat. “Okay, so… it makes you more flirtatious. Noted,” he says, hurriedly grabbing a notebook.

“Describe your feelings for me,” he says like a scholar on the verge of a breakthrough.

The words spill out of you, straight from the depths of your heart without hesitation. “My feelings for you burn hot. It’s almost like it’s not just a feeling but a state of being. Every fiber, every atom tingles at the thought of you. It’s like you’ve become a part of me. Something I can’t live without.”

Renjun’s eyes flicker with a hint of nervousness at your last words, silently praying obsession isn’t taking hold.

“Describe how you’d feel if you had to live without me,” he prompts.

You hesitate, then answer honestly. “It’s hard to imagine, but I think it would feel like an emptiness that could never be filled. If I had to live without you, it would be cold, lonely, and bleak. But… I think the memories we share would keep me going, warming me through the worst times.”

Renjun nods, scribbling furiously in his notebook. Relief washes over his face, and he sighs quietly. Good, obsession avoided.

“Good,” he murmurs. “Now, how does it feel when you look at me.”

“I don’t want to ever take my eyes off you,” you say softly, voice trembling slightly. “When I look at you, I feel alive. Hungry.” Your eyes lock onto his, breath growing ragged.

“Lust,” Renjun notes, his focus returning as he becomes lost in his own world, watching you carefully. Lust wasn’t an abnormal side effect, but since this wasn’t a lust potion, only a measured amount should surface.

You can’t stand the distance anymore. Without thinking, you step closer, craving intimacy.

“What about when you touch me, Renjun? Want to know how I feel when you touch me? Want me to describe it?” you whisper breathlessly.

Renjun’s cheeks flush crimson as he hurriedly scribbles in his notebook. “Loooots of lust,” he mutters under his breath, his voice strained. He clears his throat. “No, no, that’s enough. That concludes the questions. I think I know what I need to tweak in the potion.”

Renjun scurries back to the counter, beginning to work on a new batch.

You watch him from behind, a faint smile tugging at your lips. Stepping closer, you run a hand down his arm, feeling the heat radiating from him.

"I get so wet when you touch me, Renjun. Remember that time you saw me naked? You had gotten so shy and your hands got all clammy, and they trembled. Did you really think I didn't notice?” You lean in, your chest pressing against his arm, and whisper into his ear, "Your hands were on my hips. It was the first time I felt your touch on my bare skin. Your hands, they're strong and capable. I can't help but imagine them exploring every inch of my body. I want to feel them on me again, Renjun. I want to feel them everywhere."

Renjun freezes, his eyes widening as he glances back at you, clearly caught off guard by your bold admission. His cheeks flush a deeper shade of red, and he swallows hard, trying to regain his composure.

"Uh, I… I'll, uh, keep that in mind while I work on the, uh, next batch," he stammers, turning back to his potion-making, his hands noticeably less steady than before.

You could feel the temperature of your body heat up and the thought of Renjun touching you again had your panties soaked. He was so close, and he smelled incredible. His scent was warm, earthy, with a hint of something citrusy. God, you just wanted him to touch you. His hands kept moving, though, a blur of motion as he worked desperately on a new potion.

“Renjun, please,” you beg softly, voice trembling. “Look at me, just for a second.”

He ignores your plea, his attention still fully absorbed in his work, hands flying to find the right ingredients and notes.

Frustration and longing swell inside you. Without thinking, you reach out and grab his hands, feeling an immediate sense of calm wash over you. He finally stops, eyes meeting yours, and in that moment, you feel complete again. Gently, you guide his hand to cup your cheek, closing your eyes and leaning into his touch, savoring the warmth.

Renjun inhales deeply, and you open your eyes to find him gazing at you with a mixture of affection and restraint. His thumb brushes softly against your cheek, and his voice is soothing, almost like a whisper.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been giving you enough attention,” he murmurs, swallowing hard. “Baby… I need to finish this. Can you sit over there and be a good girl for me? I’m almost done, and I promise I’ll give you whatever you want.”

You consider his words, then smile softly. “Okay,” you reply, leaning in to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. Renjun has to collect himself again before he can continue, steadying his nerves. You turn and make your way to the couch.

After a few more tense minutes, Renjun finally joins you on the couch, a new potion in hand. Beads of sweat glisten on his forehead, proof of his labor.

“It’s done. Open your mouth. Drink,” he commands, his tone firm but tired.

You shake your head stubbornly, crossing your arms.

Renjun sighs in exasperation. “What now? What’s the matter this time?”

“It tastes yucky. That taste is so bad I think I might die if I have to drink it again,” you reply, pouting.

“You’re being dramatic. Stop acting like a child and open your mouth,” he says, growing impatient.

You stand your ground, lips pressed into a tight line.

Renjun clicks his tongue in frustration. “Fine.”

Without further ado, he downs the potion in one swift motion, then leans toward you. Your mouth opens slightly in surprise, but before you can react, Renjun presses his lips to yours. His lips feel electric, a jolt of sensation that makes your entire body tingle. So distracted by the kiss, you don’t notice him slipping the potion into your mouth, transferring it from his tongue to yours.

The raging fire inside you is subdued into something much more manageable. Instead of the sinful desire that had pooled within, you feel butterflies fluttering in your gut.

Renjun had successfully administered the new potion, but neither of you pulled away. Your lips remained pressed together, lingering until you both ran out of breath. You licked into his mouth under the guise of getting every last drop of the potion before pulling away.

Renjun’s lips were swollen and red, a faint pink blush dusting his cheeks. He looked flustered, eyes darting nervously. “Um you should feel fine now. What I gave you was actually an antidote. I don’t think we need to test out the new potion since it only requires a slight change. I can take it to my mentor to have him inspect it before we give it to Jiwon,” he rambled breathlessly, clearly overwhelmed and trying to distract himself from the lingering tension.

The fog in your mind finally lifted, but your heart was still pounding wildly. Your face was probably as hot as Renjun’s, eyes wide and doe-like as you stared back at him, struggling to find your words. Stammering, you managed to say, “Right, uh, I’m kind of tired now. I think it’s time I go home.”

“Do you need me to walk you?”

“I’ll be fine. Good night, Renjun,” you said hurriedly before leaving.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

It's been a few weeks since you last saw Renjun. Halloween had already passed, and Jiwon and Jiwoo were still rock solid. Renjun had convinced Jiwoo to bring Jiwon in for a couples tarot card reading. That day, he served them tea and slipped the potion into Jiwon’s drink. He made sure Jiwon drank it and called them in a few more times under the guise of couples palm readings or fortune-telling, just to keep an eye on Jiwon for any negative effects. Renjun had been keeping you updated via text but hadn’t made any effort to see you in person.

It shouldn’t upset you, but it does. These lingering feelings have been driving you crazy. All you wanted was to forget about that stupid Etsy witch, but you couldn’t. It was like he was crawling under your skin, like an itch you couldn’t scratch until you saw him. Yet, you didn’t want to see him, afraid of what you might do. You missed him so badly it hurt, but you convinced yourself it was just the lingering effect of that love spell.

Besides, a wise woman once told you that to get over one guy, you have to get under another.

Come over

You send the text to Jaemin, and within the hour, he’s knocking at your door.

He walks in quickly, and the first thing out of his mouth is an apology. “I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you or lead you on. I really do like you a lot, and I’ll do anything to fix this,” he says sincerely.

You hear his words, expecting them to bring relief or hope, but they don't.

You’re confused by the lack of emotion you feel toward Jaemin. Experimentally, you reach out and pull him into a kiss.

But it feels wrong.

When Jaemin’s lips meet yours, a wave of discomfort washes over you. His hands move to touch your waist, but it only makes things worse. The moment felt awkward.

You pull away in frustration. That stupid Etsy witch has been stirring up trouble all month. It had to be his fault. Jaemin is right here, begging you to take him back. You’ve wanted this moment for weeks, the chance to finally have him in your arms again.

Yet… you feel nothing.

This isn’t what you’re supposed to feel. Jaemin was the one you wanted so why does your body crave Renjun’s touch instead? Why does your heart feel like it can only beat for him?

“I'm sorry, Jaemin. I can’t do this,” you whisper, your voice trembling.

He looks at you, a hint of hurt flickering across his face. “Do you really still not believe me?” he asks softly.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “I believe you. It’s just… I can’t do this right now. I need some time for myself, okay?”

Jaemin’s shoulders slump, and his expression falls, but he doesn’t argue. He never would fight for you. Instead, he leans in gently, presses a tender kiss to your cheek, and quietly turns to leave.

Renjun

You had to find Renjun. Something wasn't right, and that antidote he made clearly wasn’t working.

You’d grown tired of coming to his condo like this, stomping down the hall in frustration. But this time, you told yourself, would be the last.

You bang on his door for the umpteenth time this month, your patience wearing thin. Almost immediately, he opens it, already expecting you—the only one brave enough to show up late at night and make this much noise.

“Do you know how many noise complaints I’ve gotten this month because of you?” he starts, annoyance evident in his tone.

Without waiting, you push past him into his apartment, matching his fire. “Probably as many problems you’ve caused in my life this month,” you spit back, voice sharp with anger.

Renjun groans and runs a hand down his face, frustration mounting. He then folds his arms across his chest and leans back against the wall, knowing how you get and waiting for you to get whatever it was off your chest.

You take in his appearance. His hair is slightly disheveled, probably from the sleep you likely woke him from. He’s wearing a big white T-shirt and baggy sweats. The tired look in his eyes makes him appear so incredibly attractive, only fueling your frustration and driving you up a wall.

“What issues are you bringing to my doorstep today, sunshine?” he asks, with a sarcastic smile.

“You,” you manage to say, trying to catch your breath. You reach out and grab him by the front of his collar. “Fix,” you breathe heavily. “This.” You gesture between both of you.

He quirks an eyebrow. “And what is ‘this’ that you speak of?”

“Your love potion! The antidote isn’t working or something. I’m still having side effects,” you say, frustration evident in your voice.

“Side effects, like?” he prompts, leaning in slightly to get a closer look at you, and you have to summon all your restraint to resist the urge to close the gap between you.

“I miss you like crazy. I can’t think straight when you’re not around. All I can think about is you,” you blurt out in exasperation.

Renjun lets out a breathless chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” you say, unamused.

“Any side effects from the potion should have worn off weeks ago,” he states calmly, almost clinical.

“Then the antidote didn’t work. Make a new one!” you demand, your voice sharp with impatience.

Renjun steps closer to you and shakes his head. “No,” he says softly.

“No? So you're just going to leave me like this?” you ask in shock.

Renjun smiles and laughs, a sound so pure and genuine that you realize you’ve probably never heard him laugh like this before.

“You're not under any spell, sunshine,” he states smugly. “You just fell in love with me for real.”

Your face heats up, and you shake your head desperately.

“You’re wrong!”

“If I’m wrong, then describe how you feel about me right now,” he challenges, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I feel like hitting you because you're not listening,” you snap. “You're impossible and mega annoying.”

Renjun chuckles. “Would someone under a love spell call me mega annoying?”

You groan and pull at your hair in frustration. “You made me fall in love with you. Do something about it,” you plead.

Renjun finally decides to stop teasing you and give in. “I missed you too, and you're right. I am mega annoying, but I’ll make it better.”

He leans in and connects your lips.

This is what you had been needing. You feel all the stress that had been built up inside of you melt away. The feeling of his breath against your skin, the warmth of his arms wrapped around you. You longed to be closer, to be in his skin. You wondered if Renjun had a spell for that.

You settle for pulling his shirt over his head, and he quickly catches on, helping you out of yours.

He pulls you into another kiss and begins walking you back toward the couch. His living room is a mess with books strewn across the coffee table, some even open and sprawled out on the floor. It looks like he’s been deep in a new craft or experiment. The place is dimly lit, with only the moonlight pouring in through the huge floor-to-ceiling window and a single candle flickers nearby, its flame dancing softly on dripping wax, as if it’s been burning for hours

As you blindly shuffle backwards your heel catches on something, probably a stray book or a pile of papers, and you stumble, pulling Renjun down with you. You both land in a tangled heap of limbs, and you can’t help but chuckle as you reach behind you and pull out a book that had been digging into your shoulder.

“Jeez, Jun,” you manage between laughs, “what have you been studying?”

Renjun pushes himself onto his forearms, a proud smile spreading across his face. “I’ve been trying to see if I can tweak that love spell I gave Jiwoo. Maybe dilute the effects just enough to nudge someone in the right direction, letting nature do the rest. Something I can mass-produce for my shop so I don’t have to worry about botched spells. It won’t be a perfect love potion, but if the person they’re using it on already likes them even a little, it’ll boost their chances enough to spark something.”

You blink at him, giving him a soft smile. “That’s actually genius.”

Renjun’s chest puffed up with pride. “See? That way, I can finally stop faking my reviews.”

Your eyes widen. “Wait—your reviews were fake this whole time?”

He tilts his head innocently. “Well, yeah. What do you think happens when the guys I pay break up with the girl?”

You shake your head, smirking. “A real witch running a two-star Etsy shop. Guess even magic can’t fix a bad etsy review.”

Renjun’s eyes twinkle mischievously. “Sorcerer,” he corrects. “And you’re right, magic might not fix everything, but deleting reviews can,” he says proudly.

You smile and pull him back into a kiss. “I want to see some real magic,” you tease with a grin.

He leans back down bringing you into another kiss and adjusting himself so he can lay comfortably between your legs. He pulls away from your lips and kisses down your neck and shoulder as his deft hands work to unclip your bra in one swift movement. He leaves wet kisses across your skin, nipping playfully at your chest before licking at your nipple. Your breath hitches and your arch your back into his touch, urging him to give you more.

Renjun is an attentive lover, lavishing attention on both of your nipples. He sucks and bites one, while his hands massage and tease the other. Even if he says the spell wore off you can't help but doubt him because every caress feels almost otherworldly.

Renjun releases your breast, trailing kisses down your stomach. He scratches lightly at your thighs as he pulls down your panties, then settles between your legs.

Eye contact locked, Renjun doesn't look away for a moment. It's intense, and you feel yourself blushing, but you can't look away either. You watch as he licks his lips and leans forward. He laps at you with broad strokes, then focuses on your clit, sucking it into his mouth. You instinctively try to close your legs, but he forces them open, giving you a stern look.

"Keep them open, don't fight me," Renjun commands, his lower face glistening with your arousal. You blush but nod, trying to relax your legs. Renjun returns to his task with renewed fervor, daring you to move even an inch.

Renjun's tongue works expertly, alternating between slow, sensual licks and messy sucks on your clit. You claw at the carpet, trying to stay still as your thighs tremble. Finally, he takes mercy on you and sits up, wiping his mouth.

"You taste so sweet," he murmurs, his eyes heavy with lust and adoration. He pushes down his sweats and boxers, revealing himself to you. Your breath hitches, and you plead, "Please, Jun, fuck me already."

Renjun's smile is wicked and charming, and you have to fight the urge to push him down and take him yourself.

"Oh, I didn't hear a 'please,'" Renjun teases, gripping the base of his cock and teasing your entrance by pushing just the tip inside before pulling up, making it slip out with a pop, making you shiver.

"Fuck, Renjun, PLEASE!" you cry out.

He doesn't answer, just sinks into you, gripping your thighs and pulling them up to your chest to hit deep. The moan that escapes you is sure to get him another noise complaint.

Renjun's eyes flutter closed as he revels in the feeling of you, but they don't stay shut for long. When he opens them, a dangerous determination burns within them, making you brace yourself. His strokes are deep and calculated, making you inch back slightly, but he pulls you right back down with a chuckle.

You're so wet that the sound of your arousal fills the room, and Renjun loves it. He loves seeing how your body responds to him, loves making you feel good. His fingers find your clit, rubbing circles that bring you closer to the edge. Your body tenses, your breath hitches, and the only sounds in the room at that moment are the wet, squelching noises of your orgasm.

You clamp down around him, your legs shaking, tears collecting in your eyes. Still, Renjun doesn't stop, pushing you through the overstimulation.

"Almost, baby. Just a little more, I'm almost there, please," Renjun groans, desperation clear in his voice. He's so close he doesn't want to stop. After a few more harsh thrusts, Renjun's eyes flutter closed, and a raspy moan rips from his throat as he pulls out and finishes on your stomach.

You both catch your breath, your legs finally still. You lie there, motionless, trying to process what just happened and find your footing in reality.

"Wow," you murmur softly, lost in thought about everything that's transpired over the past month. Renjun leaves and returns with a warm cloth, cleaning you up gently.

“Are you okay?” he asks, kissing your forehead.

“You’re amazing,” you reply, making Renjun laugh.

“That’s not exactly what I asked, but I’ll take it,” he says with a smile. “Here, let’s get you to bed.”

He helps you sit up and guides you to his room.

You settle into his sheets and he cuddles up beside you. You have no idea how you’re going to explain all of this to Jiwoo. You never thought you’d believe in magic, and more surprisingly, you never thought you’d believe in love.

It is easy to fall in love with him, you have found. When the snarky comments fade in the quiet moments where it is just the two of you, hidden in a dark corner of the classroom while your classmates’ footsteps shuffle outside. All sound becomes muffled in that space, half-awake and barely stirring, dark like the morning before the sun rises, in between stiflingly quiet and overwhelmingly loud.

Your shoulders are pressed together and you can hardly breathe, not out of fear of being caught but of the strange familiarity that comes with being pressed up so closely against Renjun. His elbow rests on his left knee, his right hand supporting him by his side, and as he turns towards you to whisper in your ear, low and hesitant, it is all you can do to shake your head when he asks if you think you will be found.

”Good,” he murmurs, mischief and a hint of pride glimmering in his eyes, so bright that they are almost like a torchlight in the dark, and he turns away. You miss the heat of his breath against the shell of your ear, and you almost bring a hand up to your ear longingly before you catch yourself. You have only known him for a few days, and yet you are already missing his warmth.

You have only known him for a week, and already his speech patterns are becoming familiar to you. Subtle, timely snarks in between properly-held conversations, the pause he takes when he’s serious, the way his laughter is unrestrained and inelegant and unceasing.

His mannerisms become familiar to you too—the way he leans into the touch of his best friend, whose arms are around his neck, one hand comfortingly reaching up to hold his friend’s. The way he walks, spine straight and standing tall, even if he’s only a few centimetres taller than you, steps steady and assured.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him hesitate, but the confidence can be abrasive sometimes. He charges into things he believes in with full force, with a quick, biting tongue that shuts down any opposition, and it is only when you call him—Huang, always by his surname, there is another Renjun in the class—that he visibly stills. You can see the gears in his head coming to an abrupt, grinding halt as he recalibrates, tense fingers relaxing, the throbbing vein in his neck subsiding, his eyebrows detangling themselves from whatever knot they’ve worked themselves into.

A minute shift, but you catch it all the same.

He is the first to call you by a shortened version of your name. You don’t know why, but it seems fitting that he is the one, and your heart warms the second you hear it. You grow to become accustomed to it, to hearing that one syllable slip from his lips with such a casual tone that it should be banned, really, because who is he to be calling you like that? But you accept it, if only because it is him, and slowly everyone takes to calling you that name.

When people only he knows and you don’t know begin to call you with that name, you bristle at it. Nicknames should be earned, not taken for granted, but somehow it was fine when it was Renjun and he had only known you for one and a half weeks, and his name tastes odd when you aren’t calling him “Huang”. Eventually you decide it is better that they call you by that nickname, since there is some sort of twisted satisfaction you get from knowing that he talks about you to his friends.

It only takes a month before you realise what kind of person he is. Petty, selfish, full of complaints, Huang Renjun is not an easy friend to have. There are times where, out of the blue, he comes to you with resentment frothing at his lips like black smoke, the tendrils curling around his tongue and seizing his throat, the red blood vessels in his eyes pronounced. And because you will only ever be patient with him, you listen.

You listen to the complaints, some valid and some not quite so, and you’re torn between wanting to reply and giving him space. You will figure out an odd sort of rhythm in the future, where you can tell what he needs from what kinds of things he says, where you learn to cup his prickles with calloused palms and ask him what is wrong, when you learn how to tell his tells just from the slightest change in his gaze.

Huang Renjun may be expressive, but some things he keeps well-hidden, like the various grudges he harbours against completely innocent people. You’ll never quite understand how his mind works, but you have been (fortunately or otherwise) granted an unending well of patience to deal with him, and somehow the way he handles you makes handling him feel like nothing.

Huang Renjun handles you far better than you handle yourself, especially when you’re tired and overwhelmed and spiralling past your bedtime. Lying in bed, eyes almost sliding shut from just how tired you are, blinking painfully as the glare of your screen starts to give you a headache, you can’t help but feel comforted when he breaks down your problem and tells you his thoughts.

On the eve of your birthday, stressed from all the planning and disappointed that you can’t get the present that you want and unsure how everything is going to work out, he stays up late to walk you through it while you’re anxiously typing back strings of exclamation marks and question marks.

He takes the one thing he can do something about, the birthday present, and somehow helps your best friend to ship it from a country that’s 11 hours away by plane, and you only find out a month later when you actually receive the gift.

Between the two of you, you sign up for competitions together where you have to work together under what feels like—at least to you—intense pressure and time constraints, staying up late the night before to discuss your strategy over a call, bleary-eyed and half-asleep, yawning every other word, his hair mussed. He’s always wearing that dark grey T-shirt he swears he has multiple of, from his teenaged moody phase when he only wore things from a black-and-white monochrome palette, and you’ve come to recognise both his room and the sound of his voice.

That is how he slips into your life, all witty quips and a sense of humour that the two of you share, which means he always gets your jokes first and knows you better than anyone else. If it were anyone else trying to predict your moves or explain your actions you would be annoyed, but somehow if it is him then it is fine.

It is not the first time you have made exceptions for him.

Between the “study” calls that end up with you talking late into the hours of the night, the shared glances in class when both of you think about the same thing at the same time, and the conversations you share over repetitive canteen meals, Huang Renjun manages to burrow his way into your heart. He snuggles inside it, soft and warm and comfortable, like a squirrel finding a perfectly-sized hole in the bark of a tree trunk, and you cannot bear to ask him to leave.

The first time he likes someone else is quite early on, before the friendship is properly established, and you hear it from someone else’s mouth and your heart stops. You’re sure you do a terrible job of hiding it, prying immediately and asking suspiciously concerned questions and even going so far as to ask him yourself, and you’re honestly unsure how none of you realised that you had this big, fat crush on him all along.

It ends up being just a phase, and after a month or so of prying, poorly-concealed jealousy masked as friendly nosiness, he confesses that he no longer likes them. The way the relief washes over you, like a boa constrictor has just released its grip on your lungs, is inexplicable.

Halfway through the year you resolve to confess your feelings, deciding that after sixth months, it is impossible for you to continue being friends with him without telling him how you feel. It’s only when Chenle talks you out of it, offering to do reconnaissance and coming back to you with the heart-shattering news that he only sees you as a friend, that you put a hold on your feelings for a moment and take a month to distill the information into something more comprehensible.

You barely survive that month of reduced contact and emotional distancing from him, which is about the same time that you realise the emotional dependence you have come to have on Renjun. There’s something so easy about trusting him, about involving him in almost every aspect of your life, to the point that without him there you feel empty.

He has been so carefully and imperceptibly woven into your life that you could not find the loose ends to unravel the tapestry if you wanted to, and tugging relentlessly is only going to result in ripped heartstrings and ruined masterpieces.

You make it another month before you confess. It is a period of confused happiness, all the emotional complexity of the situation compressed and shoved down to the pits of your heart. Out of sight, out of mind. At least, that is what you tell yourself as you establish routines for conflict management—“I don’t need space to be left alone,” he tells you, “I’m not your mother. I’d rather we just talk about it.”—and you figure out safewords for when to talk seriously without being snarky or mean to each other, a safeguard against the bantering dynamic the two of you have developed.

In the three months of dating him you never go on one proper date, because his disapproving parents would never let him, and Renjun is not one to lie to his parents. Instead, you make do with covert glances and bus rides home and nudging your knee against his when you’re seated next to him, but nothing much changes from when you were just friends. There is a sort of paranoia in trying to keep it low-key at his request, and you can’t help but feel like you’re too obvious to keep it a secret.

Three months into dating Renjun, after a school trip that he wasn’t on, you end up breaking up. It starts with a perfectly normal conversation where he brings up feeling unhappy that you rarely contacted him while on the trip, and devolves into a lot of thinking on your part on whether the mental burden is worth the label, since functionally it has all stayed the same.

But even after breaking up, you’ve never been good at enforcing boundaries with Renjun, particularly, because he’s always been an exception. The texts he sends you are more dispersed, now, but there’s still something about the way he barely bothers to greet you before he jumps into it, like he’s picking up on a conversation you left off, that screams familiarity.

It’s exactly what he used to do before, and you would have replied with “good morning/afternoon/evening”, just to get a quick response from him before continuing with the topic at hand. Old habits die hard, you suppose, but loving Renjun is a habit you can’t decide if you want to break.

He does, of course, have his shortcomings, like not setting boundaries with anyone or being easily annoyed, holding onto small things and being too loud at inopportune timings, but they’re often overshadowed by the weight you’ve placed on his redeeming qualities, like his patience with you or his attentiveness, or his organisational skills and his determination.

Well. It is hard to stop loving someone. In a platonic capacity, you would use the word freely, but in a romantic capacity you would (secretly) also say you love him. In some complicated, indecipherable way, you don’t think you could ever stop loving him, even if he never knew how to treat you like a romantic partner instead of just his best friend.

—

general taglist: @slytherinshua, @wiishies

nct dream taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz, @raevyng, @moonkyeom, @lovesuhng, @dearlyminhyung, @zhongzn, @poenitentiamism

if you liked it, please reblog it.

you try to protest, tell them that you’re not.

“no? then why are you attempting to grind against your wedgie huh?” haechan chuckles from the side.

jeno adds, “and don’t act like your pussy isn’t dripping right now”

jeno goes to quickly unbutton your jeans, dragging them down so that they pool at your ankles, exposing your lower half.

renjun steps forward, his eyes darkening. “look at you babygirl, so exposed for us” he reaches down and gently rubs your slit through your panties which are still hung to the pole. “your panties are soaked” he murmurs, pressing hard and making you squirm

your knees buck when renjun touches you right where you need him, but the wedgie holds you in place. “r-renjun” you moan.

“mhm?” renjun watches as your knees give out, your hips slightly bucking for more friction. “baby?” he presses two fingers harshly on your clit which have you crying out his name “junnie~ ngh~”

your cries echo through the park softly, renjun loves hearing your needy voice. he rubs your through your panties harder, loving the way your hips jerk.

“god she’s so sensitive” haechan comments “you like touching her in public jun?”

renjun only grins, “fuck yeah, i think she loves it more though”. jaemin steps forward, adjusting your panties so that renjun can now have access to your bare cunt that’s glistening with your juices.

jeno decides to have his fun and starts palming your tits through your shirt. his thumb brushes over your already hard nipples. this plus renjun fingers on you have you a moaning mess.

“mngh~ oh- oh my god” you screw your eyes shut, relishing in the feeling.

“try slapping her tits jen” haechan requests.

jenos hands suddenly slap your tits through your shirt, the sudden impact making you yelp and arch your back. the wedgie pulls tighter against you, and renjuns fingers are still working their way in and out of you.

loving your reaction, jeno decides to yank your shirt fully over your head, leaving you in public with just your panties wedgied up high and your lace bra.

it’s late a night so not many people are out but you still spot. few cars driving past the park. you wonder if they can see you in such a humiliating state, all turned on from your boyfriends playing with you in public. and somehow the thought of being seen makes you even more turned on.

as a few cars drive by the park, their headlights illuminate your half-naked body. it makes you even wetter.

jaemin notices your growing wetness and grins. “baby’s getting all wet thinking about being seen”.

“let’s give em a real show then yeah?” renjun chuckles

jeno quickly unhooks your bra, letting your tits bounce free. haechan watches as another car approaches slowly down the road. “here comes another one” he whispers.

jeno slaps your tits once more for good measures, making the pleasure all too much. the driver sees your half naked body on display as he slows down the car to watch.

“look at that, the car is slowing down” renjun smirks at the observation, picking up the pace on his fingers in your sloppy cunt. “looks like someone likes what they’re seeing.”

at this point you’re such a whimpering moaning mess, it’s so humiliating, but you’re enjoying every second of it

the car almost halts, the driver clearly enjoying the show. haechan watches with a mix of amusement and arousal. "she's so fucking turned on by this," he murmurs to the others.

“ngh~ mngh~ please let me cum” you beg for release.

the driver rolls down his window slightly, watching your desperate pleas and the boys manipulating your body. "not yet sweetheart," renjun teases, using his thumb to add pressure to your clit, making it harder to hold back. haechan takes over on your tits, rubbing his thumb over your sensitive nipples in a circular motion.

you’re face is red from embarrassment by being watched, but the way your pussy is dripping and how you keep moaning into the night has the boys loving it.

“cum for the car," jeno orders, slapping your tits once more. "let them see how much you love being humiliated in public."

“oh god y-yes” you let out a strangled moan as you’re finally allowed to release “MNGH~”

you convulse against renjun’s hand as you finally orgasm. the car driver watches intently as your body shakes and your juices run down your thighs. the boys hold you up as you ride out your orgasm, making sure the driver gets a good show. you’re a panting heaving mess.

once your orgasm subsides, renjun swiftly pulls your panties back down while jeno helps you stand straight. the car drives off slowly, the driver probably jerking off thinking about what he just witnessed. haechan smirks and adjusts his own pants. "fuck that was hot..."

it’s safe to say that the boys will be doing this again. and you’re waiting eagerly in anticipation for it.

a/n: i’m no writer, these thoughts just come into my head as is and i just decided it would be fun to write them down. this isn’t proof read or anything, again it’s just a blog where i can jot down any thoughts since im incapable of writing anything full 😭😭😭

I. (lucky for you) we’re just friends

best friend!haechan x reader

synopsis: haechan is someone who always gets what he wants. he’s willing to do anything, but now, he realizes, he doesn’t know what to do. will you, his best friend of many years, let him step into your life where he hasn’t before? do you think about him as much as he does you? or will it all slip away, along with all his memories with you. (angst, little fluff)

side a: like a friend - pulp

side b: now playing

II. no clue

one night stand!mark lee x reader

synopsis: when mark realizes how long it’s been since he’s gotten laid, he rushes out to a party. he’s quick to find someone, rushing into a room without really thinking about it. when he sees you laid under him, it clicks that he might just like you, a stranger. he tries looking for you all over campus, wanting to talk to you. how long will it take for you both to meet? do you even want to meet him? (smut, fluff, little angst)

side a: tongues - the frights

side b: now playing

III. your fate, my karma

fwb!jaehyun x reader

synopsis: jaehyun realizes he’s in love with you. it’s fucked, especially because he rejected you once before. he doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you, more importantly, the friendship he has with you. he can’t help it, not with how you look at him, how you smile, how you feel. it’s like he was made to see and touch you. he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold in his secret. (smut, angst, little fluff)

side a: somethin’ stupid - frank sinatra

side b: now playing

IV. can it last forever?

boyfriend!jaemin x reader

synopsis: after many successful dates, jaemin finally asked to be your boyfriend. you were so happy in the beginning, but doubts begin to fill your head. jaemin is a loving boyfriend, but you can’t help but wonder if you deserve him. did you go into this too fast? what if this is all you have? will you be able to make him happy? (fluff, angst, suggestive)

side a: valentine - laufey

side b: flip over?

V. all to myself

acquaintance!renjun x reader

synopsis: renjun hates how all you’ve been doing is talking about another man. usually, he wouldn’t really mind. but now, he realizes the only reason why he hates it is because he likes you. you’re a friend of a friend, and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to get closer to you if all you’re thinking about someone else. (fluff, smut)

side a: eastside - daisy

side b: flip over?

“And she made it!” Yuna greeted you as you grinned back, raising your arms in celebration as you finally sat down next to them. “Here I was thinking you were going to be late.”

“You and me both.” You groaned, rolling your eyes as you shrugged your bag off your shoulder and onto the floor between your feet. “My alarm malfunctioned, so I had about five minutes to get ready before running after my bus like some kind of crazy person.” The girls snorted, both of them seemingly enjoying your misfortune. “It’s not funny! I looked like I was possessed or something, like, I was screaming and waving and I stepped in a puddle... I’m so close to being done with this year already.”

“It’s been five minutes!” Winter argued. “Plus, I thought you were going to be positive this term.”

“You did say that.” Yuna insisted, and you groaned defeatedly.

Since you had started school, it had been the three of you. You had been through everything together, highs and lows, and you knew too much about each other to ever stop being friends.

“Did you not hear how my morning went? Clearly, God has been laughing at me from the start. He’s chosen me as his personal victim! I’m giving up and accepting that I’m going to struggle through this year.”

Students all around you started to take their seats, people quieting down but never falling fully silent. It was always the nature of the first day back, there was an excitement in the air about what this next year would bring.

You saw the same few figures you always did leading the talk, your principle, your head of year and a few heads of various subjects. As the principle began his speech, each teacher walked up to a different row on the raked seating, handing out a piled of papers for everyone to take one of, then pass along.

You followed suit, picking one page of each colour before giving them to Yuna to do the same. You flicked through them, seeing the usual information about student guidance, the counsellor and the list of after school activities. That last page crinkled slightly in your hand as you gripped it, nerves flaring through your system as you thought of what was to come.

Yuna and Winter’s eyes were burning holes in the side of your head, but you ignored them, staring pointedly ahead of you, pretending to listen to the same boring talk you got every year.

---

The induction always seemed to last ages, but to be fair, it was an hour and a half long. The teachers sent you away for a break before lessons began, and the three of you bolted to the cafeteria, wanting to get a snack before they were all gone.

The chair made a scraping sound as you pulled it back, plopping yourself down in it as you opened up the small packet of mini biscuits you grabbed.

“Nothing beats a chocolate chip cookie.” You declare, throwing one over your head to catch it in your mouth. “Except maybe a blueberry muffin.”

“How do you always catch it every single time? I don’t get it.” Yuna whined, as she unscrewed the cap on her water bottle. “God, I know it’s good for the environment, but I hate these attached lids.”

Winter chuckled at her, then turned her attention back to you. “You know, if you actually eat breakfast before you came to school, you wouldn’t be so hungry by 10am.”

“Nah, I’d rather have an extra twenty minutes of sleep than some buttered toast.” You shrugged. “Besides, these cookies are what I’m going to enjoy about this year. Best part of the day so far, after being back with you guys of course.”

“Well, you’re about to regret that. Look at your activities form.” Yuna demanded gleefully. The girl may be sunshine personified but at that moment you wanted to smother the light out of her. “I’ve chosen a special something for you.”

“I can’t believe you let her do this y/n.” Winter sighed. “What are the odds you’d lose that bet?”

“Evidently not in my favour. Look, neither of us thought she would actually jump.” You groaned, thinking back to the summer. The three of you had gone away for a week to a house by the seaside, and there was a beautiful cliff there with people jumping off it. And with Yuna’s fear of heights (and water, even though she’d never tell anyone) you thought she would never do that, so you made a bet. If she did, you got to choose all her extracurricular activities, and if she did, then she could choose yours. Well... one jump and a soaking wet but annoyingly smug Yuna later, you were regretting your choices.

It was a seemingly unimportant bet; clubs are just clubs, it’s not like it would be too bad. Then Winter reminded you that you were going to be doing it for at least an hour a week and that hour could drag out if it was something you hated. And, god forbid, Yuna chooses something that requires you to do external work or meetings on weekends.

So now you felt like you’d rather jump off a cliff than let her make this choice.

You reached down for your bag, rummaging around to find the papers you put in there earlier. You pulled it out, smoothing out the edge you’d manage to crumple slightly earlier, and begrudgingly handing it over.

The second it reached her fingers, she pulled her body over it, covering the words on them as she flicked through the pages until she found the one that stated what activity you’d be doing. Your school let you sign up online before the term started so Yuna had come over to your house a few weeks ago to do that for you. You squirmed in your seat, trying desperately to see what circle of hell you were going to be vanquished to, but to no avail. 

Once she was finally found what she was looking for, she moved away, allowing the big reveal of what your club would be. When you read the singular word, your jaw dropped, and you blinked a few times just to make sure you had got it right.

“Fencing?” You said, turning back to see her grinning at you like the Cheshire cat.

“Yep.” She replied, popping the ‘p’. “You used to be so good, and you can’t give that up.”

“No.” You replied flatly. “I am not putting on one of those sweaty bee-keeper helmets again.”

Yuna laughed, her mockingly cheerful tone annoying you to your core as she replied. “A bet’s a bet! Plus, you’ll look hot with a sword.”

“But I’ll be working with Huang Renjun.” You said slowly through gritted teeth.

“Yep.” She repeated, popping the ‘p’ again.

Yuna wasn’t even trying to hide her glee. It was no secret you weren’t Huang Renjun’s biggest fan. You wouldn’t go as far as to say you hated the guy, but he ruined your joint science project when you were eight, and since then, every word he said sounded like nails on a chalkboard. The logical part of your brain knew that what happened was not a big enough deal to be this frustrated at him all the time, but younger you was still upset, and it didn’t help that Renjun seemed to bite back at you with the same force that you would bite at him.

“Renjun isn’t so bad y/n.” Winter said, trying to make you feel better about the situation.

You kept your eyes on your name on the page, hoping that enough force from you would melt the words away.

"You never know, it might be fun. Besides, at least this time there’s no baking soda volcano to go wrong.” She continued teasingly, raising her eyebrow at you. Right on time, the bell rang, signalling the end of your short break. Now that was a sound you hadn’t missed.

“Thank you so much for the recap of my life story featuring Renjun. I don’t wanna think about him, let’s just go to class.” You grumbled as you all stood up and made your way into the corridor. You could hear Winter silently lecturing you on being a grown-up and leaving the past behind, and you were sure it was coming verbally at some point, but right now she seemed to settle for enjoying the amusement in your situation.

You all said goodbye to each other, Winter heading one way, which left you and Yuna to go in the opposite direction together. After noticing you’d walked off already. Yuna quickly jogged after you, her smile softening from its usual teasing nature to a comforting, gentle one.

“Y/n, it’ll be fine.” She reassured you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You know that I didn’t do this to make your life horrible, right? I didn’t choose fencing so you’d have to be with Renjun, but he’s involved with the club, and I couldn’t avoid that. I chose it because you used to love it, and I don’t want you to lose that. I’m hoping that you can ignore him and just enjoy doing something that you’re good at. You have said to me that sometimes you wish you hadn’t given it up.”

“Oh, stop making me like you. Just let me be annoyed at you for once?” You groaned, unable to stop yourself from smiling at your best friend. Her grin grew once more, relaxing at the knowledge that you weren’t actually angry at her.

“Come on! We don’t want to be late!” With that, Yuna threw her arm over your shoulders, and you headed off together.

As much as you hated to admit it, she did have a point. You used to love fencing as a kid. Your mum used to take you to lessons twice a week, and you had gotten quite good. Only once you grew up a bit, you found yourself dropping to one lesson a week, and then you began to stop enjoying going. You kept wishing you had other things to do, and it became a chore rather than something you loved, so for the past year, you stopped. But there were definitely times when you wished you’d kept it going and pushed through that difficult part. Maybe Yuna did give you a second chance at that...

But why, dear god, why did it have to be with Huang Renjun?

---

By this point you fully believed you just needed to abandon your manifestation - you weren’t sure it really worked anyway. Besides, why would you exhaust yourself trying to be all sunshine and rainbows this year if it seemed to already be determined to be horrible?

The ringing of the bell echoed throughout the school, signalling the end of the day. For a first day back, it wasn’t too bad. You didn’t have too much to do, so it was a bit of a slow day, but you knew it was going to be picking up soon. There are only two years left in this place, and stuff was about to get serious.

Even if it was a good first day, you still couldn’t wait to get out of there, so you quickly packed up the textbooks you’d acquired throughout the various lessons of the day and headed back to your locker. You found yourself leaving in the utter haze that was the entire student body attempting to go in ten different directions at the same time. It took a lot of pushing and easing your way through the gradually dispersing crowd to finally make it to where you needed to be. Luckily enough, the corridor with your locker wasn’t that close to an exit, so it was pretty empty, allowing you some peace and quiet to open it. You placed your books neatly inside, whilst also knowing that within two weeks, your locker was going to look like a bomb had gone off inside of it, and grabbed the few things you did need before shoving them into your bag and heading off home. You also wanted to enjoy the week you had free before fencing started. With it not being registered as a main sport, and instead a regular club, it began in the second week of term.

In order to reach the exit you needed, you ended up passing the board for extracurricular activities. They should be updated now to show who is doing what club or sport. You looked down the corridor out of habit, and you saw someone looking at the sheets. Normally, you would have looked away and kept walking, but you recognised who this person was. Huang Renjun.

He traced the sheets with his finger, clearly looking for something, and you recognised him stopping in the area where you assumed the fencing sheet was. He dragged his hand down the page before suddenly pausing, a frown appearing on his face.

Assuming this was caused by the sight of your name, you rolled your eyes, restraining yourself from letting out a huff that would spark him to notice you there. The whole point of enjoying your week before fencing started was to enjoy that time without Renjun. So, you bit your tongue and headed home to relax.

ii. it’s all yuna’s fault

And before you knew it, your week of freedom had come to a very fast end. 

The final bell rang, echoing through the silent classroom as students all around looked up to check the time. Some began putting their things away immediately whilst others kept working, wanting to finish their question or the point they were making before heading home.

You, however, leaned back in your chair and stared up at the ceiling. A deep breath left you as you thought towards what your day is going to be like. Begrudgingly you leaned down to grab your bag, filling it with the notebook and textbook on your desk. before slinging it over your shoulder.

The classroom door squeaked as you pushed it open, and, stood there waiting for you, was Yuna.

“How did you get here so fast the bell literally just went?” You wondered.

“I ran.” She grabbed your hand, skipping you off down the corridor. “Come on, fencing time!”

You let her pull you through the school, and she finally let go of your hand once you reached the multipurpose sports hall. Her hands moved to your back, forcefully pushing you through the door.

You whirled back to look at her. “Are you gonna come in and watch?” You asked sarcastically.

“Okay, first of all,” Yuna held up one finger at you. “You can drop the attitude. Second of all, I’m just making sure you don’t chicken out.”

A sigh escaped you as you grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

Yuna nodded, squeezing your hand back before turning on her heel and walking in the direction of the car park.

You faced the door, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves before entering.

The room appeared in front of you, you saw various students warming up, some already in their protective gear, others just standing and chatting. It wasn’t a huge group, maybe twelve or so, including yourself. And across the room, standing by himself, practicing a few moves, was Renjun.

Even though you didn’t like him, you had to admit, there was a way that he moved which was nothing short of jaw-dropping. He was graceful yet still held that element of deadly precision. 

You walked away before he could spot you, heading to the changing rooms to get ready. There was a locker there already waiting for you, you’d come to it last week to put your old fencing uniform and foil in, giving you less to carry around today. Huffing at yourself, you got ready, sliding the protective clothes over you and putting your foil trustily by your side. Your hand reached for your helmet, stopping for a second as you touched it.

In that moment, everything came back to you. You heard your old coach’s voice, shouting instructions, saw flashes of the drills you used to practice for hours on end, saw the tournaments you won, and you heard yourself and Renjun arguing with each other over and over again throughout the years.

“Get out of my head.” You muttered to yourself through gritted teeth.

You tucked your helmet under your arm and shut your locker harshly, walking out into the main hall just in time for the coach to arrive.

“Alright! Welcome to fencing everybody.” He announced, and you noted how his demeanour hadn’t changed a bit in the last year since you’d trained with him. His eyes scanned the group before landing on you. “And welcome back to some. Quickly before we start, you’ll find your fencing uniform in your named locker as I see some of you already have, you’ll need to put that on first. It will come with your helmet, and your foil.” He lifted up each item to demonstrate them, the helmet in his left hand, and the fencing sword in his right. “After that we’ll pair up and get started.”

People scattered, running off to get changed with barely contained excitement. Your coach flashed you a familiar smile, one you couldn’t help but return. Maybe Winter was right, this might be fun. 

“I didn’t think you’d be brave enough to show your face here again.”

A sharp voice cut through your reminiscing.

Huang Renjun.

You turned slowly, seeing his smirking face looking at you. God, you wanted to slap that stupid smirk right off his mouth. 

“I didn’t think you’d still be this pathetic. And yet, here we are.” You shot back, your jaw clenched so hard you were worried you would break it.

His eyes narrowed in that telltale way they always did when you got under his skin. A smirk flashed across your own face at that, knowing you had won the quick exchange.

“Renjun! Y/n! Pair up.” Your coach’s voice cut through the tension and both of you swung around to face him, complaints and begs of other options flying out of both of you. “Zip it! You’re the only two here of your skill level so you’ll be pairing up. And there isn’t going to be another word about it. You’re each other’s match.”

“Of course.” You muttered.

“Typical.” Renjun groaned to himself.

This was supposed to be his year. The coach had asked him to help lead fencing, and Renjun had been bouncing off the walls since the beginning of term. He thought he would be training with his coach one on one, and helping teach the newer students, yet here he was, trapped with the one person he couldn’t stand. Renjun didn’t know what it was about you, but you agitated him more than anyone else every could. And that included Haechan.

He pulled his helmet over his head, the familiar feeling calming him down slightly as he walked away from you to your training area. The two of you were put at the back, with the coach focusing on the newcomers towards the front. You rolled your eyes and followed suit, hand tightening around the hilt of your foil.

You two faced each other, both staring down the other person yet knowing neither of you was going to back down without one hell of a fight. 

“En Garde!” Your coach’s voice echoed throughout the hall as you took a deep breath. You really hoped you remembered how to do this.

You took your stances, waiting for him to call the words that would allow the fire inside of you to have an outlet.

“Prêts? Allez!”

Renjun lunged. He wasn’t going to waste any time. If he could prove how much better he was then maybe this was the only time he would have to fence with you. After all, you hadn’t played in a year and Renjun had trained non-stop. You were no match for him.

You knew Renjun was a better fencer than you. You were out of practice and, if you were being honest, he always had been. But you were stubborn. And you weren’t going to let him bully you into giving up. But you weren’t expecting that first lunge.

You instinctively parried, stopping his harsh movements and responded quickly with a riposte. Your counterattack surprised him, but of course, he was ready for it.

It didn’t take much for the sport to begin coming back to you. You felt like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz when he got his joints oiled. Your body moved on its own, years of training allowed you to act without thinking.

The match wasn’t pretty. It was chaotic, with fury and insults flying left and right.

“Your stance is sloppy.” Renjun taunted as he lunged again.

You parried and retorted. “Your face is sloppy.” 

“You’re leaving your left side wide open.”

“Yet you still can’t reach me!” You shot back, thrusting forward. 

Neither of you noticed the other fencers that had gathered around to watch this cage match. Whispers flying around the group about the two of you as the scene in front of them unfolded. Your duel wasn’t just fencing, it was a grudge fuelled match years in the making.

By the end you were both panting, glaring at each other through your masks. Your coach, however, was unimpressed.

“Y/n! Renjun! This is fencing, not street fighting.” He barked. “If you two want to fight each other so badly you can, the both of you can train twice a week with each other. One with me, and one independently. Now hit the showers!”

Renjun didn’t hesitate, immediately storming off to the locker room to change. You pulled off your mask, staring down at it for a second before leaving yourself.

This was going to be a long term.

iii. he was a (breakfast) fairy

A yawn escaped you as you stretched your arms above your head, feeling the gentle pull on your muscles as you did. It was another independent session between you and Renjun and they had quickly and, not to mention easily, become the least favourite part of your week.

The sound of the door opening echoed through the empty hall, but you ignored it. You knew who it was. For the last three weeks, the two of you had trained two hours a week together and every second of it had you wishing you were holding a real sword.

Renjun didn’t hold back either, he wasn’t going to let you slow down his training, so he’d made it abundantly clear to you that you had to catch up, and catch up fast. Annoyingly, you had managed to do so in the few weeks since you’d started which, once again, completely ruined Renjun’s only hope of trying to prove you were holding him back.

He had never fought an opponent like you. There was a fire in the way you fought him, this pure determination not to lose to him that forced him to think of new ways to overpower you during a match. One thing was for sure, you kept him on his toes.

Once he was finally changed, he re-emerged into the training hall, noticing you holding one foot up to your back, stretching out your hamstrings. He may not be enjoying having to spend so much time with you, but in doing so he had noticed your energy seeming to get lower every single session. You currently looked as though one nudge from him would knock you completely off balance. He raised an eyebrow at that. You had always had good balance, and it had annoyed the hell out of him because it meant you rarely fell for his fake outs in a match as you could readjust yourself faster than most. So why were you struggling to stand on one leg?

“Hey.” He called out, and you turned your head sideways to acknowledge him. “Why do you look so tired?”

You let your leg go, settling down back onto both feet as you turned your body around to face him. The frown on his face lifted slightly as he caught sight of your face, the exhaustion clear in your features. A flicker of something passed over him, one that if you didn’t know better, you would have mistaken for concern.

“Dunno.” You shrugged. “I’m just finding it harder to get through the day without my energy dropping to almost zero.”

“Well, have you eaten enough?” He asked, walking towards you, his helmet securely tucked under his left arm.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Yes, Dad. I had the wrap for lunch thank you.”

“And for breakfast?”

“I don’t eat breakfast.”

Renjun head snapped towards you at your statement. That would be why you look the way you do. He couldn’t believe you were skipping the most important meal of the day, especially when you two were training as hard as you were. No wonder you were tired.

“What?” You continued. “I’d prefer to sleep, besides, there’s never anything in my house, and I don’t want to spend money on it every day on my way in.”

“Yeah, you barely make it in on time as it is.”

You just knew he couldn’t resist the obvious dig at you. You were barely halfway through the term, and you rolled your eyes so often you were sure you were going to be able to see your brain before winter break.

“Right, got it. Can we just get started?” You muttered, pulling your helmet over your head firmly and getting into position.

Renjun followed your lead, covering his own face and raising his foil.

“Just don’t collapse on me. If you do, I’m not carrying you to the nurse.” He warned.

“As if you could play hero.” You chuckled, the idea of Renjun running through the halls carrying you being quite amusing to you. “I’d be lucky if you even told anyone where I was.”

“Yeah, you would.” The conversation ended there; a silent nod sent between the two of you as you began to fence.

And, for the first time in his life, Renjun held back when he fought.

---

Renjun placed the drink on his tray, gripping the sides as he walked through the cafeteria to where the boys were sat. While doing so, he passed your table. You were hunched over, laughing at some story Winter was telling and he leaned his head down just enough to check that you had something on your plate. Your laughed echoed through his head as he closed in on the table with his own friends, shaking off the sound as he arrived.

He flopped down in the seat next to Jaemin. Jeno and Haechan were both already there as well, both of them already eating, and he could see Chenle and Jisung queueing for food.

He quickly grabbed a bite of food, hunger taking over him as he chewed.

“So... Renjun.” Chenle slid into the seat opposite him, a knowing grin on his face that made Renjun immediately dread whatever was coming next. “How’s fencing?”

Renjun dropped his fork, huffing as irritation took over his body.

“Why would you do that to me? I was having such a good day, and you had to go and ruin it.” He groaned.

All five boys around the table struggled to hide their amusement as chuckles were badly turned into coughs. He shot a death glare around the group at their reactions, yet this only fuelled them further, now half of them properly laughing at him.

“It’s not funny!” Renjun complained. “I thought I was going to be helping coach this year and get some one on one training and yet now, I’m stuck with her.”

“Technically, it’s still one on one training, just not with who you thought it would be.” Jisung reasoned, tilting his head in feigned innocence.

“Jisung’s right.” Jeno spoke up. He was obviously trying to calm Renjun down, but considering he was still chuckling himself it wasn’t working very well. “You’re still training for a few hours a week, and y/n is a good fencer, even you know that.”

“Well, yeah I know that but- hang on, how do you know that?” Renjun quizzed. Fencing wasn’t a popular sport here so how Jeno could have heard about y/n’s skill, Renjun couldn’t wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like he spoke highly of you to the boys.

“One of the guys on my team’s sister fences. He said she played y/n in a tournament a while back and apparently, she was amazing. I heard she didn’t lose a single game that day, so maybe, you’ve met your match.” Jeno shrugged. Well, that would be how Jeno knew. The lacrosse team had a reputation for gossiping and somehow knowing everything before anyone else.

“Look, she’s not ‘my match’. She’s not some brilliant person. She’s infuriating. She doesn’t listen, she argues with everything, and she fights like she’s trying to kill me!” Renjun spat, his hands coming up to grip at his hair.

“Definitely sounds like his match.” Haechan muttered under his breath, only to find himself on the receiving end of yet another death glare.

“Is it really that bad?” Jaemin asked.

“You don’t know this girl. She’s a nightmare and a half.”

Another snort came from Haechan and Renjun swore, one more and he was going to throw himself over this table to choke that boy out. 

“What’s this?” Mark’s voice cut through the murderous thoughts running around Renjun’s head. Instead of replying all he could do was sigh, his gaze falling back down to his plate.

This time, Jaemin decided to explain, not wanting to trigger another rage fuelled rant from his friend. “Renjun has a new partner in fencing, and apparently, she can be a little difficult.”

“A little?!” Renjun’s voice came out sharper than he’d intended in his attempt to defend himself. “This girl is this epitome of difficult. Ugh, can we please change the topic.”

“Sure. Jeno, good luck today by the way! What time is your driving test?”

Renjun had never been so grateful towards Mark than he did at that moment. He let the conversation continue without him, his own thoughts swimming through his head.

If he was being honest with himself, something about what he said didn’t feel quite right, even though it was true. You were infuriating. You didn’t ever listen, you argued with everything he said and sometimes he did think that if you had a real sword, Renjun would not be walking out of practice alive, but, even with all that, he didn’t have that same burning dislike towards you that had become so familiar to him over the years. And if he was being really honest with himself, he was starting to enjoy your sessions together, maybe even look forward to them.

But Renjun wasn’t that honest yet.

---

This might be the best morning of term yet. What’s better than opening your locker and finding a blueberry muffin inside waiting for you? You grabbed it, quickly unwrapping the plastic cover and taking a bite.

“Are you eating breakfast?” Yuna’s voice cut through your haze, and you turned around with a grin.

“It was waiting for me. Come on, own up. Which one of you is my secret breakfast fairy?” You prodded, waving the now half-eaten muffin in their faces.

Winter laughed at your glee but shrugged. “Not me.”

Yuna shook her head at you as well, denying her involvement.

“What? Just yesterday you were both telling me I needed to start eating breakfast or you were going to ‘force feed me’.” You held up air quotes at that, reminding them of your conversation from the day before.

“I’m serious! It’s not either of us. Sorry y/n but looks like someone else is doing that for you.

You looked down at the muffin in your hands at Winter’s words, confusion furrowing on your brows as you wondered who could have left you breakfast. As far as you were aware, apart from Winter and Yuna, no one else knew the combination to your locker.

“Okay, that’s a little weird.” You murmured and the girls both laughed.

“Maybe you have a secret admirer.” Yuna teased before gasping dramatically. “Maybe it’s Renjun!”

“As if.” You laughed yourself. “The day Huang Renjun is leaving me breakfast is the day that pigs can fly.”

You slung your bag over your shoulder as the morning bell sounded, splitting ways from your friends and heading off to class. You looked down at the empty wrapper in your hand, a thought crossing your mind.

Could it be Renjun? He did know that you didn’t eat breakfast, but it wouldn’t make any sense for it to be him, he hated your guts. You folded the wrapper neatly, throwing it in a passing bin at the front of your classroom. The teacher began speaking, explaining some historical event you knew you should be focusing on, but you couldn’t tear your mind away from your fencing partner.

Even though you’d laughed at the idea that he could be the one looking out for you, the thought didn’t fill you with dread like you’d expected it to. In fact, the thought of Renjun never made your skin crawl the way it used to. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

---

It was the most anticipated fencing practice of the term: the tournament day. Other students were invited to watch the fencers compete in pairs to win two tickets to the annual fencing ball. The fencing ball was infamous, schools from all over the country rushing to buy tickets to spend the evening dancing in black tie and meeting new people. It was known as one of the best nights, with even people from other sports often trying to get tickets. The tickets sold out fast and you knew, this would probably be your only chance to get them.

You spotted Yuna and Winter in the crowd, waving embarrassingly enthusiastically at you. You lifted your foil in greeting, grinning at them. While you’d never tell them, you were happy they were here to see you fence. It was like showing them a part of yourself you hadn’t got to share before. 

Renjun was standing by the equipment rack, adjusting his gear while waiting for his turn. In reality, he didn’t have anything he needed to check or adjust, he knew he was ready to go, he just couldn’t stand the teasing looks from his friends and the thought of waiting next to you made butterflies flutter around in his stomach. He was pulled away from his thoughts however as the coach called everyone over.

“Alright, you all know how this works. You’ll be paired up and play one game against another pair. Whoever performs best wins the tickets. We’ve got an audience today so let’s put on a good show. You all know your pairings?” He looked over everyone, taking in the nods from his students. “Good. Now let’s get started.”

You made your way over to the bench, your match was going to be the very final one, meaning you had to sit here while five other matches took place before you. Your knee bounced as you watched the first two pairs take their places.

Your partner took his seat next to you, surprising you when he nudged your knee with his.

“Breathe.” Renjun whispered. “We’ve got this.”

Not a sound left you, too taken aback by his sudden reassurance. Your leg lay still against the bench, your nervous energy stilling and your eyes watching the first game as it began.

Point after point was scored as the first five games flew by. Before you knew it, your opponents were up there, and your names were being called by the coach.

“-facing them off will be Renjun and y/n!”

Whoops and cheers could be heard from voices you recognised as Yuna and Winter as well as some other boys you weren’t so familiar with. However, from the embarrassed look on Renjun’s face you assumed they were his friends.

“Your foil is crooked.” He said, not hesitating to reach out to correct it.

He fixed it without you asking, his fingers brushing yours slightly as he pulled away. You flinched at the contact, not from irritation, but from something else you refused to name or even acknowledge.

Why did he have to pick now to be gentle?

Your opponents were strong, they were two seniors who had fenced in a pair before. While you knew you and Renjun were strongest individually, winning this game would rely on you two working well as a team, which wasn’t something that had gone very well in the past. 

“En Garde.” Your coach shouted, and you took your starting position, you on offence and Renjun on defence. “Prêts? Allez!“

You lunged immediately, taking inspiration from the way Renjun attacked the first time you faced him this year. It caught your opponents by surprise, but you missed by a hair. Luckily Renjun immediately covered your flank with a clean parry.

“Watch your right.” He warned.

You shot him a warning glance, one that he understood even with the mask on, but said nothing. Keeping his words in mind, you took your positions again. 

The start was messy, both of you were playing as individuals and giving away easy points. Yet, somewhere in the middle of the match, something clicked. Your footwork synced up and your timing became instinctive: lunge, parry, retreat, counterattack. You found the perfect rhythm. You were moving backwards and forwards as if you were one being, always covering each other and taking every shot that was open to you.

“Are they choreographed?” Jeno muttered to Jaemin, whose eyes were focused on the two of you in amazement.

The buzzer sounded, signalling another point for you and Renjun and you took your positions once more, panting lightly under your masks. You’d managed to pull it back and the score was now 4-4, but time was almost up, meaning the next point won the game. 

“We’re actually doing well.” You muttered, watching the way his head turned towards you, and you could just about make out his features underneath the mask. “Don’t get used to it.”

“Too late.” Renjun chuckled softly.

“Did he just smile at her?” Winter nudged Yuna with her elbow, both girls in disbelief as Yuna whispered back:

“Someone call a medic.”

Silence fell over the crowd, everyone waiting to see who would score that final deciding point. The whistle sounded.

Your opponents charged. Renjun quickly sidestepped, using his foil to deftly redirect the attack to your side. Without thinking, you moved in perfect timing, your blade darting like lightning. The satisfying clang sound of another point being scored in your favour was music to your ears. 

The coach lifted his hand towards you and Renjun, signalling victory and you immediately pulled your mask off. You were out of breath and your hair was slightly clinging to your forehead, but you couldn’t stop the huge grin from spreading across your face.

“We did it.” You cheered.

Renjun laughed, pulling his own mask off as well. “We worked well together. Guess we make a good team after all.”

“Don’t get used to it.” You quipped, but even Renjun could notice the humour in your words rather than the usual malice. He liked it. He wished he didn’t, but hearing you joke with him, even if just for a single sentence made those butterflies in his stomach appear again.

“We’d do well in a zombie apocalypse. You know like in ‘All of Us Are Dead’? We’d definitely survive until the end.” He laughed, moving a step closer to you as you both headed into the changing room to take off your gear.

You laughed as well, the melodic sound echoing around Renjun’s head.

“Maybe you’re right. So, if the zombie apocalypse happens, as long as neither of us get turned immediately, we find each other and fight our way to freedom. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Those butterflies were going crazy now.

He hung up his gear, enjoying the weightless feeling that always came with taking off the protective uniform. He nodded at you, a silent invitation to leave together and hear the scores. You smiled back at him, and Renjun couldn’t stop the grin that came over his own face.

Together you walked back into the hall, hearing the claps from the spectators as you reappeared. You waved over to Yuna and Winter, getting more wild waves back from them as you rejoined the main group.

“After six tense matches, I’ve looked at how each fencer performed individually, and as a team. It was not an easy decision, but the winners of this years fencing tournament and going home with a ticket each to the annual fencing ball are...”

Your breath caught in your throat, waiting for the next words that you were silently begging to hear.

“Renjun and y/n!”

You two looked at each other in shock, a laugh of disbelief escaping you as you began to wrap your head around what your coach said. You two had actually won!

The other fencers clapped politely as your coach made his way over to the two of you.

“You’ll get an email each with everything you need to know. And have fun there, it’s a good night.” He smiled warmly at you both. “You’ve come far in just 6 weeks. If you keep up like this, you two are going to be the best around. And you work very well together too. I hope you remember that.”

“It’s going to be hard to forget.” The words left Renjun’s mouth before he could stop them. He noticed you turning your head to look at him, but he forced himself to keep his eyes on his coach, too nervous as to what your reaction might be to his statement.

Your coach walked off to talk to some members of staff who had come to watch and Renjun finally turned to face you.

“We’re going to the fencing ball.” You breathed.

“I know. I can’t wait, it’s so much fun.” He replied, and you noticed how his eyes sparkled.

“You’ve been?”

Renjun nodded in response to your question. “Once, about two years ago. It was about four hours of music and dancing, and by the end the seniors were on tables and confetti was everywhere, it was crazy. You’re gonna love it.”

You smiled at the ground. Why was he making you smile so much? This was Renjun, he never used to make you smile, he used to make you want to pull your own arm off just to hit him with it. But now, everything he said pulled this grin onto your face that you couldn’t wipe off. No matter how hard you tried.

“I should probably go say hi to my friends.” You murmured, gesturing vaguely behind you.

“Oh yeah, me too. But I’ll see you in our next session?” He said, his head tilting to the left slightly. You’d never noticed him doing that before.

“Yeah. I’ll see you around Renjun.” You waved, wandering off towards where Yuna and Winter were waiting for you.

See him around? As in, you might see him before training? Renjun didn’t know what you meant by that, but he did know, he needed to stop over thinking. And he also knew that if he stood here any longer, watching you walk away, the boys would never let it go.

He turned towards his friends, finding the six of them waiting expectantly for him. He opened his arms as he walked towards them, hearing all of them shout their praises as soon as he got close enough.

“Dude, that was incredible!” Mark clapped him on the shoulder.

“You looked like you were waltzing out there. What’s next, tango practice?” Haechan teased. 

“Shut up Haechan.” Renjun groaned, but the smile on his face wasn’t getting any smaller.

He missed the knowing look Chenle and Mark shared, too busy watching you out of the corner of his eye. Seeing the way your shoulders lifted as you laughed at something Yuna said. Cute. Finally, he pulled his attention away from you, listening in on the ramblings of his friends arguing where they should get dinner to celebrate his win.

You felt as though you were on top of the world. Things seemed to be falling into place around you, and it was an inexplicably wonderful feeling to just let that happen.

You heard Renjun laugh to your right, sneaking a look at him chatting with his friends, that smile that lit up his entire face triggering a warm feeling to spread through your body. 

He was right, you two had worked well together. Too well together. So well, in fact, that it had altered your relationship outside of the game. It was too soon to tell how, but there wasn’t the same anger towards him that there had been for so long. It was replaced by a new kind of calmness. 

‘It’s just fencing.’ You thought to yourself.

But deep down, you knew it wasn’t just fencing at all.

iv. no ❤️

It was volunteer day. As the two winners of the fencing tournament, Renjun and yourself were also brought with your coach to the local primary school to host a fencing workshop for the children there. It was only one hour in the morning, but it meant you got to skip your morning maths class, so you were thrilled.

The only thing that you weren’t thrilled about was the lack of a blueberry muffin in your locker this morning. A small pout came onto your face as you saw the empty space where the treat usually sat.

“No fairy today then.” You muttered, turning on your heel and heading towards the taxi that would take you to your event.

Renjun had gone straight there, he lived closer and just decided to bring his books with him rather than dropping them off in his locker just to turn around and come back the way he came.

He was making quiet conversation with his coach whilst setting out the small foam swords that the kids would be using today.

“You fought well at the tournament Renjun.” His coach told him. “You’re coming along well and, I know you might not like to hear this, but fencing with y/n is good for you. She challenges you in a way you’re not used to.”

Renjun hummed in agreement. “She’s a good partner.” That was all he would let himself say out loud, but the raised eyebrow that his coach sent him in reply told him far more than he needed to know.

Everyone knew the aggressive tension between the two of you was dissipating fast, the jabs you would make at each other had softened into teasing and the harsh looks were now small smiles and shared moments of understanding. Renjun knew that joining fencing this term hadn’t been your idea, and now that the term was coming close to an end, he found himself wondering what he would do after winter break if you chose not to come back again.

Where would that leave him?

That thought was one he had been trying not to focus on. He wasn’t enjoying the pit he felt in his stomach every time it plagued his mind.

It didn’t take long for you to arrive, waving a quick hello before stepping in to help him get things sorted.

“Guess we’re stuck together as partners again.” Renjun said lightly.

“You say that like you hate it.” You chuckled, balancing one of the helmets that had tiled askew.

“I didn’t say that.” He smiled softly at you, holding your gaze for a second too long before tearing his eyes away, trying to hide the heat in his face.

Your coach gave you a quick heads up just before the doors flew open and the kids poured into the room. They walked around the equipment, loudly laughing and chattering about what they saw. 

The coach began to greet the kids, telling them what fencing was and introducing you and Renjun to them as well. During his little speech, you were overcome with a wave of nostalgia, seeing all these children being taught the concept of fencing reminded you of your first day.

“Hard to believe we were this small when we met.” You murmured to Renjun, the boy nodding in agreement.

“And when you tried to blow up the classroom.” He pushed your buttons once again, this time though, you found humour in his words.

“Hey, that was your fault. You got the measurements wrong.” You challenged.

“How about we call it collaborative failure?” He proposed, and after a second, you agreed.

Neither of you would address it, but you both knew what that meant. It meant leaving it behind, leaving the arguments, the hatred and the blame in the past and moving forwards. Together. Maybe even as friends. 

The kids were balls of energy, all of them practically bouncing off the walls at the chance to play with swords. It was now up to you and Renjun to teach them what you could in the short time you had.

You watched as Renjun switched into ‘big brother mode’, crouching down slightly so he was closer to eye level with them. 

“Who’s ready to learn how to fence like real champions?” He asked the group, an immediate chorus of “MEEE!” ringing out from your students.

You found yourself surrounded by little hands tugging at you asking a million questions at once:

“Do we get real swords?”

“Can we fight dragons?”

“Are you two married?”

You choked at that last one, covering it quickly with a cough as you hurried to correct them.

“No, we’re just fencing partners.”

“For now.” Renjun teased, the kids screaming happily at his words as your eyes widened.

What the hell did that mean?

“Don’t tempt fate.” You warned, forcing a laugh to cover how flustered you were.

Together you began your demonstration, you showed the position as Renjun talked through what the kids needed to copy.

“You want your feet to be in an ‘L’ position, see? Just like this.” His hands brushed against your legs to show everybody, and you had to hold your breath to keep your composure. “Now, hold your foil, that’s what we call the sword, up using the same hand your write with and take a big step forward while you make a stabbing motion. This is what we call a lunge.”

You did as he said, demonstrating an exaggerated lunge so the kids could understand.

It only took half a second before they were lunging forwards, half of them falling over their own feet with how enthusiastically they went for it.

You and Renjun walked through the group, spending time with each child and correcting their positions, as well as pairing them up with an ‘opponent’ and showing them how to retreat. They repeated these movements, lunge and retreat, over and over again as you made your way through them.

You spotted a little girl struggling with her grip, so you approached her, gently folding her fingers over the handle in the correct way. She sent a large, toothy grin your way, her eyes opening even wider as she looked at you.

“You’re really pretty.” She said earnestly, and you laughed as you squeezed one of her cheeks.

“So are you.” You replied.

“I wanna be a fighter like you!” She declared, looking back down at her foil with a renewed determination.

“Keep practicing.” You advised. “It takes time but if you keep at it, you might even be a better fighter than me.”

Renjun watched all of this, subconsciously smiling at you, that warm feeling he had been trying to hard to ignore spreading unavoidably through his chest. A hesitant movement caught his eye, turning to see a little boy who was holding back every time he leant forward.

The boy sighed in defeat, looking dejected as Renjun knelt down next to him.

“You’re doing great.” He reassured. “No one gets it on their first try. I didn’t. Just bend your front knee a bit more, it’ll help keep you balanced.”

The boy nodded slowly, and tried again, bending that knee just as Renjun had told him to.

“Perfect form!” Renjun clapped, watching as the young boy’s face lit up.

He didn’t notice you, just a few feet away watching him, the same smile he just held for you, now reflected on your own face. As well as that warm feeling in your chest too.

The hour you had with them passed in a blur, and before you knew it you were standing up at the front telling all of the kids how well they did. Pamphlets on fencing were being grabbed faster than the speed of light and each child held about three of them close to their chest.

“You’re like the Prince and Princess of fencing!” One of them called out, the others all shouting in agreement.

You two both laughed at that, enjoying the titles that had just been bestowed upon you.

“Make sure you tell your parents all about what you learned today!” Renjun called out, another shout of cheers erupting from the group as they all said goodbye and were ushered out by their teachers.

“Bye fencing couple!” Was shouted over a shoulder and you both looked awkwardly at each other, the silence in the room deafening as the rowdy bunch of children left the two of you alone.

“We’re never living that down.” Renjun groaned, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Could be worse.” You shrugged. “They could have called you my husband again.”

Renjun opened his mouth to respond, unable to get the words out before your coach reappeared. He’d been silently watching you teach from the corner of the room, along with the kids’ tutors, and he was proud of how far the two of you had come.

“You were brilliant today.” He smiled warmly at you both. “I’m just going to chat to the administration to finish things up there, are you two okay to tidy up here before we head back?”

You both nodded, and he slipped out of the door, the silence taking over the room once again as you moved to pick up the various foam swords that were lying all over the floor.

You assumed Renjun had started at the opposite end of the room, but a quiet sound of a zip being carefully undone caught your attention. You turned around, only to see Renjun leaning over your bag. You approached silently, watching as he pulled out a muffin, a blueberry one at that, and slipped it in. Zipping your bag up as quietly as possibly before standing.

When he turned around and saw you watching him, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“So it was you? This whole time?” You breathed. Renjun froze, not sure how he should navigate this situation. He hadn’t really thought through what he would do if you’d ever caught him.

“What? Someone had to make sure you weren’t going to pass out at practice.” He mumbled. Great, apparently he had gone with the bumbling idiot way of navigating the situation.

“Renjun... I-” You couldn’t find the words, unable to believe that he had been doing this for you for almost six weeks. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.” He tried to shrug it off, starting to walk past him, but you grabbed him by his bicep as he did.

“No, it’s not nothing.” You said honestly. “Really, thank you.”

Renjun turned his body so he was facing you, your hand dropping from his arm and he immediately missed the warmth.

“You’re welcome.” A rare moment of sincerity passed between the two of you. “Besides, you get cranky if you don’t eat enough.” He joked.

You chuckled at his words, knowing he wasn’t wrong. “Keeping track of my moods are we?”

“I’m your partner. It’s an occupational hazard.” His voice was soft, and the words faded into something deeper. 

Your eyes were locked on each other, a deep emotional moment shared between you as you found yourself being drawn even closer to him. Every moment shared between the two of you over the past few weeks had gradually stitched together what had been torn apart years before. He stared back at you, mesmerising the colours in your eyes, getting lost in them to the point he thought he might be looking into your soul. He knew that too much time had passed, he should pull back, stop staring. Friends didn’t stare at each other like this, let alone for this long. But he couldn’t. This time, Renjun didn’t look away.

---

Renjun had offered to take the equipment back to the sports hall, and while you had protested, he hadn’t taken no for an answer. He pushed the doors open, the bags almost slipping from his fingers as he did so.

“Need a hand?” A familiar voice triggered his head to fly up, seeing Chenle standing in the middle of the hall, a basketball held under his arm.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” Renjun questioned and the younger boy shrugged, placing the ball on the floor and coming over to take one of the bags off Renjun’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ve got Bio right now, but it’s fine.”

Renjun huffed at his response. Chenle had a knack for skipping his least favourite classes in order to practice. If he wasn’t the best basketball player this town had seen in a long time, he would have got in serious trouble for it months ago.

“How was teaching?”

“It was good actually.” Renjun replied, leading the way to the storeroom where spare equipment was stored. “Lots of kids got involved so I hope at least one of them picks the sport up.”

“And... how was y/n?” Chenle dragged out his words, never missing an opportunity to tease the older boy.

“She was fine.” Renjun chuckled, keeping his back to his friend so that he couldn’t see the blush Renjun was sure was appearing on his cheeks. He dropped his bag in its place, rolling out his shoulder once it was free of the weight. “We’ve been getting along well since the tournament. She’s a good partner.”

He grabbed the second bag off Chenle, leaving it in the same place before pulling the cupboard doors shut and locking it behind him.

He turned around, seeing Chenle sat down on a bench expectantly. Renjun rolled his eyes, but joined him anyway.

“Yeah, you seem to be enjoying spending time with her recently.” Chenle stated bluntly.

“Chenle, whatever it is you’re trying to say, please just get to the point.” Renjun sighed. While Chenle was one of the most honest people Renjun knew, he often danced around his main point to try and help you get there yourself.

“Have you noticed that you can’t say her name without smiling?” Chenle turned his head to look at Renjun. “She’s all you talk about. We’ve not had a conversation with you in the last three weeks where you haven’t mentioned her.”

“Yeah, because I spend a lot of time with her. She’s doing my sport, obviously I’m going to talk about her.” Renjun argued.

“No. You’re going to see her. No one is forcing you to talk about her.” Chenle bickered back.

“So what? She’s on my mind. Any time of day, she’s normally on my mind. Why is that so bad?” 

“It’s not bad!” Chenle held his hands up, not wanting this to become a confrontation. “Renjun, I’m not trying to argue with you, I’m trying to get you to see what’s in front of you. Mark noticed it first. And do you know what he said to me? He said that the only person he talks about, as much as you talk about y/n, is his girl. Renjun, you’ve caught feelings for her, haven’t you?”

Renjun was silent. He stared down at his hands, refusing to make eye contact. 

“We’re just friends.” He forced out through gritted teeth.

“If you say so.” Chenle gave up. “But, if it is more than that, I hope you see it soon. Because next week is winter break and she might not come back to fencing after that, and it would be a shame if you lost everything because you can’t admit something to yourself. I think she’s a good match for you. You balance each other out.”

With that he stood, leaving Renjun alone, his head swimming with thoughts.

Could that be what these butterflies were? What that warm feeling meant? He remembered the way you grabbed his arm earlier that day, how his stomach felt as though it was doing flips just from a small amount of physical contact with you. How badly he’d wanted to lean in and kiss your forehead when you thanked him for getting you breakfast. Renjun couldn’t admit it to anyone else, but maybe he could admit it to himself.

He was falling in love.

---

You loved the final day of term, it was always a half day which meant going home by lunch. Yuna and Winter had gone already, leaving the second they could but you didn’t mind, you were seeing them in a few days, and you had to pick up some extra books from your locker.

Your locker shut with a loud noise, one that echoed through the emptying halls. Only a few people remained, stragglers like yourself grabbing supplies or waiting to be picked up.

You sent a quick text to your mum, asking how far away she was, as you walked out of the main building. You headed over to the steps, placing your bag down next to your legs as you took a seat. You opened up your phone, doom scrolling in order to pass the time as you waited.

A shadow appeared next to you, before two feet came down beside yours and someone sat next to you on the steps. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was. You recognised everything about him, from the pattern of his walk, to how he breathed, to how he smelt. You could recognise Huang Renjun from miles away.

“Four weeks off.” He muttered, his gaze on the view in front of the two of you.

“It’s come around fast.” You mused. “Feels like yesterday we were fencing each other for the first time.”

He chuckled, looking down at his feet for a second before finally turning his head to look at you.

“It does.” His gaze felt heavy, as if his eyes were having a different conversation than his voice was. “I’ve enjoyed fencing with you.”

“Me too.” You smiled at him. These moments between you were getting more common, and you loved them. You didn’t have to say too much to him, he always seemed to understand the depth of your simple sentences. It felt incredibly intimate, someone knowing you that well. But comforting at the same time. And while it was an unfamiliar feeling, it was a new favourite.

“I know...” Renjun’s voice trailed off as he swallowed. “I know that technically your bet is over, and you can choose whatever you want to do next term. But I- I just want you to know, fencing wouldn’t be the same without you.”

A sudden car horn shattered the moment, you saw your mum driving past, waving as she turned the corner into the car park.

Renjun stood wordlessly, offering a hand to help you get up. You accepted, gently rising, but even after you did, you kept your hold on his him. He ran his thumb over the back of your hand, a gesture that made your heart skip a beat. You smiled at him, almost hesitating before pulling him in and wrapping your arms around him in a soft hug. He held you lightly, as if he could break you if he applied too much pressure. It was only for a second before you pulled back, and once you stepped out of his hold, Renjun knew, he didn’t want to let you walk away.

He reached out, grabbing you by your wrist and spinning you back into him. He wound his arms securely around your waist, pulling you close to him as your arms instinctively flew up around his neck. His head fell into the crook of your neck, a deep breath leaving him as he felt all the tension leave his body.

You fit together like two puzzle pieces, there wasn’t any room for space between the two of you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. In this moment, Renjun couldn’t believe he had spent so many years stuck on a stupid argument from when you were kids. You lit up his skies, painting his world in colour and Renjun never wanted to waste any time he had with you ever again.

But, eventually he knew he had to pull back. He stepped backwards slowly, feeling the way your grip loosened but didn’t fall.

“I’ll see you soon.” He whispered. A sudden flash of courage rushed through him, and he couldn’t let the moment pass. He leant forwards, placing a feather light kiss on your cheek.

And with that, he turned and walked back into the building. Renjun couldn’t look behind him. He knew that if he had to watch you walk away, he would run straight after you and kiss you until he couldn’t breathe. And he wasn’t ready for that yet. He still had to figure out what all this meant for the two of you. And when he does finally kiss you, he wanted the moment to be perfect.

You stood there, your whole body cold in the December weather, except the spot on your cheek, where you could still feel his lips, was burning hot. Your phone pinged, a text from your mum came through, asking what was taking so long. You grabbed your bag off the floor, swinging it over your shoulder before jogging off to where she normally parked.

You had thought for a second there that Renjun was going to kiss you. And you weren’t sure what to make of the disappointment you felt when he didn’t. You hadn’t realised until that moment just how badly you had wanted him to kiss you. You wished you’d noticed earlier. If you’d figured it out, you would have grabbed him by his perfect face and made the move. Instead, you’re sat in the car, head against the window not sure where to go now.

Could you be falling for Renjun? He drove you crazy, always correcting you and arguing back without hesitation, but, no one challenged you like him. No one made you crazy the way he did. You craved proximity with him, the idea of not seeing him for four weeks made your head spin. You sank further into your seat, one final realisation hitting you like a freight train.

You weren’t falling for Renjun. You had already fallen.

v. that is a sword it does hurt

The first week back after winter break had been a mess. Students running to classes and teachers starting to put pressure on your year as well, reminding you it wouldn’t be long until you were seniors. You’d always hated the first week back, getting back into the routine of waking up early and studying constantly was always a shock.

It didn’t help that even though you’d brought all your books back home with the intention of studying during your time off, you had done practically no work at all. A groan escaped you as you finally reached your locker. It was Tuesday morning of week two, meaning you had Maths to start your day off.

You reached your locker, quickly putting in the combination and pulling the metal door open. You looked inside, seeing one thing sitting on a shelf that you knew wasn’t there before. You face split into a wide smile as you reached a hand out to retrieve the familiar object.

A blueberry muffin.

The thought of seeing Renjun again made you smile even wider. You’d missed him over break, life hadn’t seemed quite as fun without his quips and jokes to keep you company. You knew fencing started this afternoon, and you couldn’t wait to see his reaction when he learnt that you’d signed up for another term.

You hadn’t seen him once in the past five weeks, you hadn’t expected to see him over the break, and since you didn’t share a single class, it made sense you two hadn’t bumped into each other in the corridors. But you’d see him in about 7 hours, and you were already smiling at the thought.

He’d messaged you a few times, mainly checking that you were looking after yourself. He’d claimed that he was still responsible for your breakfast, even going as far as to send a delivery order to your house one morning. Yuna and Winter were not letting you live that one down any time soon.

That was the moment you knew you were really screwed. You had thought about Renjun all the time when you were away, to the point where you were counting down the days until you could see him again. It was as if he took up every empty space in your head. You saw him when you closed your eyes, heard his laugh in moments of silence and you lost track of the amount of times you had almost asked him to meet you on your time off.

You were in love with the boy.

The bell rang, the harsh sound echoing through your ears as a warning. You quickly grabbed the right books, and with your bag over one shoulder and holding your muffin, you headed off to class.

---

Renjun stood in the changing room, his uniform on and foil in place. He was all ready to go, but somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to walk out into the hall. He needed a minute before he could go fence with someone who wasn’t you. A few months ago, Renjun was begging for it to be anyone else, now the reality of that thought poisoned him.

He sighed deeply, sinking down onto a bench and running a hand through his hair.

“I thought we’d gotten over the dread of being partners.”

That voice. Renjun had been playing that voice over and over in his head for the past weeks, desperate to hear it in person again. His head shot up and he was greeted with the sight he’d missed more than anything: you. You were watching him from your locker, a slight grin that prompted an immediate smile from him as well.

It was only then that your words sank in, and he registered what you had said.

“Partners?” He asked, trying not to sound as hopeful as he was.

You shrugged. “I came so close to beating you last term, I thought I’d better come back and finish the job.”

Renjun couldn’t believe it. He had prayed almost every night for this, that you would come back, and he would get to see you again. He watched as you pulled your jacket over the rest of your uniform, struggling to fasten it.

“Careful y/n, we both know you’re all bark and no bite.” He stood, walking over to where you still fiddling with the zip.

“Don’t challenge me Renjun.” You warned. “I’ve had weeks off from you, got some time to make up for.”

“Whatever you need to give me an actual fight. Maybe now I can stop going easy on you.” He took the zip out of your hands, gently fixing it and securing your jacket with ease.

It was only then that you noticed how close the two of you were. You could almost feel his breath on your face, and it took everything in you not to lean in at that very moment. You noticed all the little details about him, from the dark swirls of colour in his eyes to the way he’d had a haircut while you’d been away. It looked good on him. But then again, you were sure everything did.

He reached past you and into your locker, grabbing your foil and holding it out for you.

“Ready to put your money where your mouth is?” He challenged, and you accepted.

“Bring it on.”

You walked out into the hall together, immediately going to take your places and missing the smile on your coach’s face as you did. He’d been watching the two of you closely since the start of the year, and it would take an idiot not to see what was going on there. 

Your first fight back was nothing like your first one of the year. Your first fight together was chaotic, more than just fencing, it was fuelled by anger and tension. This was different. It was familiar, you knew each other’s styles and moves so well you could almost predict what was going to happen before it did. It was still fuelled with tension, but it wasn’t the same kind, there was something more there that neither of you were willing to name, but you both knew you felt it.

You thought you had him, a quick fake jab before leaning forwards with a thrust, but he caught you. You almost lost your balance, but Renjun swept an arm under your outstretched one, pulling you into his chest and tapping his foil gently on your back as he whispered in your ear:

“I win.”

“That was illegal.” You murmured back, grateful your mask was covering how flustered you were. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you felt his grip on your waist loosen.

“I would have won anyway.” He pulled off his helmet, shooting you his signature smirk.

You bit back a smile of your own, the taste of losing nowhere near as bitter as it used to be. You lifted your own helmet off, letting it hang in your fingers as you tilted your head towards him.

“Personal question, did your hair get sick of you and leave?” You teased, gesturing to the new haircut you had noticed earlier.

His jaw dropped open, a laugh escaping him as he nudged you with his shoulder, leading you towards your water bottles.

“At least you didn’t.” The grin on his face was hard to miss, his words turning you from flustered into a full blown mess.

You two hadn’t changed. You still fought, teased and bickered just like before, but it was different, light-hearted. You both knew that neither of you meant any harshness or animosity behind your words. Instead, it was now a testament to how much you knew you cared for each other.

You loved laughing with Renjun, and he loved hearing you laugh. Renjun knew he would do anything to be the reason behind your laugh.

And you stood there, laughing like friends but far too close to each other to be friends. Just two people, both madly in love, pretending like they aren’t.

---

Saturday night meant girls night. Yuna was currently smoothing a face mask over your skin as Winter scrolled through Netflix to find the Las Vegas episodes in Friends. Nights like these were your own personal form of therapy. The chocolate and bowl of popcorn lay spread out over the floor in front of you and the sofas had been abandoned hours ago. All three of you were sat or, in Winter’s case, lying on the floor around your sweet treats.

“There you go.” Yuna muttered, taking her hands away from your face.

You gave back a thanks, reaching out to grab a piece of chocolate for both yourself and her.

“I’m glad you chose to stick with fencing.” Winter mused. “You definitely seem happier doing it.”

“I am happier.” You agreed. “I forgot how fun it was.”

“And it’s nothing to do with your little breakfast fairy at all?” Yuna nudged you, both her and Winter watching you like hawks.

You looked down at the floor, picking at the carpet as you tried to find the right words to say. Since the start of term, Renjun had continued to give you breakfast. Only now, he met you at the gates with a muffin and a coffee every morning. His argument was that he didn’t need to hide it now you knew it was him, and this way he knew you were actually eating.

“Honestly... I kind of wish I could say no. But, I really enjoy being around him.” You admitted, your eyes still on the floor in front of you. 

Both Yuna and Winter scooted closer to you, a silent encouragement to keep talking.

“Guys, I don’t know where it came from. He used to drive me up the wall, you two know that better than anybody. But, over time, he didn’t annoy me that much anymore, then he started looking out for me, and now-” You took a deep breath. “Now if I’m being really honest, I don’t think I would have enjoyed fencing if it wasn’t with him. You know we’re still doing our second solo sessions too, even though we don’t have to.”

Winter grinned at you, having to physically hold herself back from squealing in excitement.

“This wasn’t what I expected when I signed you up for fencing, but I am so happy it has turned out this way.” Yuna wrapped her arms around your shoulders, swinging you from side to side.

“Well? Are you gonna tell him?” Winter prompted and you bit your lip.

“I don’t know.” You murmured. “We’re in a really good place, I mean- I want to, but I’m worried what might happen if I just blurt out that I think I’m in love with him.” You suddenly shifted, sitting yourself more upright as you suddenly remembered something. “But, you know how I have that new lab partner in Chemistry?”

“Jaemin, right?” Yuna asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, he’s one of Renjun’s best friends. I’d seen them around together, but we’d never really spoken about our friends that much, so I wasn’t aware of how close they were. But, he keeps talking about Renjun in our lessons together, saying things about how well we fenced together and stuff, and, I don’t know, sometimes it just feels as though he’s testing the waters.”

Winter sat up as well, crossing her legs and leaning in closer at your words.

“Oh my god, that happened to me as well!”

“What?” Both you and Yuna said in sync.

“Not about me obviously! But this term I’m sitting next to Haechan in History, and he talks about Renjun too! Saying pretty much the same stuff, like how it’s nice you two get along and he thinks you and Renjun are fun together.”

“Why don’t any of them talk to me?” Yuna pouted, earning a shrug in response from Winter.

You sat back, resting against the sofa behind you.

“What does this mean then?” You asked, you felt like you were drowning in all the thoughts swimming around your head.

Winter shuffled up so that she was sat on the other side of you, meaning you were sandwiched between your two best friends.

“Look, I’m no genius, but I’d bet a lot of money that it means he likes you.” She said gently. “Guys don’t ask after girls for their friends unless there’s a reason behind it.”

“Plus, anyone can see how crazy you and Renjun are about each other. He literally waits for you every morning just so he can hand deliver you breakfast. Only someone who is seriously down bad would be doing that.” Yuna agreed.

By this point all three of you were snuggled in close together. You sighed deeply, knowing deep down you were right.

“I have to tell him.” You whispered.

“Yes, you do!” Winter nodded. “And trust us, he feels the same way.”

“Why was this less scary when I had no idea how he felt?” You groaned and Yuna chuckled.

“Because now it feels real.” She offered, her only reply from you being another sigh and nod. “Come on, let’s get these masks off and we can plan what you’re going to say.”

She sprung up, reaching out for your hands as well, pulling you up with force as the three of you wandered to the bathroom together. The thought of telling Renjun the truth scared the life out of you, and Yuna had hit the nail on the head when she’d said it was because now it feels real. The longer you two remained friends, the longer a chance for something to happen between the two of you could be a fantasy and not something that you screwed up, or something that wasn’t what you thought it would be.

Winter must have read the look on your face because she reached out to softly stroke your head.

“Really y/n, he’s head over heels for you. We wouldn’t say it if we didn’t think so.”

You nodded, the smile you always got when you thought of him forming on your face. Who would have known that the boy you used to do anything to avoid, would be the reason for your increased heartbeat. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

---

You placed your foil back into your locker, making sure it hung steady. You had just finished another one on one session with Renjun and you still hadn’t said anything to him. The conversation you’d had with your friends played through your head for the millionth time. You’d promised both them and yourself that you’d do it by the end of the week, yet here you were, on Thursday evening, and not a whisper had left your lips about your feelings.

You sighed, reaching up and smoothing out your uniform. You had to find the courage somewhere, but there was still this tiny voice in the back of your head that kept asking if he did feel the same. Maybe it wasn’t love for him. Maybe he was just a friend. After all, you didn’t know what it was like to be friends with Renjun, having spent most of your life at odds with each other. For all you know, this could be normal for him. Then you remembered the morning breakfasts, the long stares and the brushes of physical contact that happened too frequently to be accidental.

Your stomach was doing constant flips at the mere thought of him. You had to get this off your chest.

Renjun was filling up both your water bottles. He’d left his mask and foil on the bench out in the sports hall, making sure you’d have water waiting for you when you got back before taking off his gear. He screwed the lid back on yours, walking over to his bag to place your water beside it before sitting down and taking a sip of his own.

He had played badly today, and he knew it. He couldn’t help himself. Renjun was so constantly distracted by you. How could he focus on fencing when you were so close to him that he could smell your shampoo? He’d been trying to find the right time to open up to you, to tell you that you meant so much more to him than he ever thought was possible, and no time felt more perfect and personal than after a fencing session with just the two of you.

Actually, Renjun thought the ideal situation would be at the fencing ball, but he wasn’t prepared to wait four more weeks for that to come around. Plus, he would much rather walk into that ball with you on his arm.

Just at that moment the doors burst open and in walked the six boys. He stood up fast, the private moment he had been hoping for with you fading away in front of his eyes.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked, looking around them rapidly.

“Nice to see you too.” Haechan replied dryly. “We said we’d come get you after practice remember?”

Renjun, in fact, did not remember. He had been so consumed by you that it had completely slipped his mind.

“Where’s your lovebird?” Jaemin questioned, raising his eyebrow suggestively. 

“Haha.” Renjun deadpanned, his instinctive defensive nature coming out in full force. “She’s not my lovebird, she’s just my fencing partner. She’s a friend.”

You stood in the changing room, right next to the door yet at an angle so you were hidden from sight. Your heart had gone from feeling as though it as beating at the speed of light to not beating at all. You leaned as close as you could, hearing every word they said as clear as day.

“Yeah, sure, ‘fencing partner’. A ‘friend’. A friend you bring breakfast to every day?” Now it was Jeno’s turn to call his bluff.

“Coming from the guy who drives his so-called ‘friend’ in every morning.” Renjun rebutted quickly, watching how Jeno’s eyes drifted to the floor sheepishly at his words. He looked around the rest of the boys and spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m just trying to be a friend. Let it go.”

“No, that’s being her boyfriend.” Jisung piped up. Great, it seemed like they were going around the group, each of them taking a shot at Renjun.

This is not how he wanted this to go. He wanted time with you to tell you the truth, not wasting the only perfect moment he had by trying to get his friends to leave you two alone.

“She’s a cool girl. Chemistry is a lot more fun with her, I don’t know why you’re keeping her to yourself.” Jaemin laughed. While Renjun was more annoyed by their intrusion than he knew how to express, he couldn’t deny that knowing his friends already liked you was a great comfort.

“She makes you softer. It’s nice.” Chenle’s simple comment seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“For the last time, can you guys let it go!” Renjun snapped. “I cannot have the same conversation one more time, how many times do I have to tell you? She doesn’t mean anything to me!”

The words left his mouth like poison. Renjun had never told a bigger lie in his life. He didn’t even know where it came from, the sheer panic from being put on the spot by his friends, as well as missing the one opportunity he’d had to talk to you, overcame him.

Renjun wanted to tell his friends the truth so badly. He wanted to scream it out for the entire world to hear. But he needed you to hear it from him first, and he knew that he couldn’t trust Jaemin or Haechan not to let something slip. He had to do this right with you. And for that to happen, he couldn’t let them ruin it.

You couldn’t breathe. The words Renjun said echoing around your head over and over again.

“She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

You didn’t think you would ever forget hearing that.

Your eyes pricked, tears threatening to form. You couldn’t let him see you cry, couldn’t let him see that he had the power to hurt you the way that he did. You grabbed your bag and practically ran for the back door of the changing room. That was the closest to the exit of the sports hall and meant you wouldn’t have to walk anywhere close to him and his friends.

You snuck out, trying not to make a sound as you pulled on the main door and fled into the evening.

Only then did you let yourself cry.

They boys remained silent after Renjun’s outburst, all of them staring at him in shock. All except Mark who was looking over his shoulder.

“I-” Renjun sighed. “I’m sorry. I just- I had a plan, and this wasn’t it. Guys, I’ll tell you everything soon, please just give me this evening to sort this out.”

The boys nodded, knowing Renjun only got like this when he couldn’t figure out his emotions. They all stepped in, giving him various reassuring pats and squeezes on his shoulders and arms. Once again, all of them except Mark who just looked at Renjun with a sad look on his face.

“You’re an idiot.” He said, and Renjun frowned. Then he saw Mark gesture behind him and Renjun’s stomach dropped.

He saw the door beginning to shut and watched as you disappeared out of the hall without a word.

“She heard you.”

Renjun barely registered Mark’s words. He barely felt the boys surrounding him once again, none of them knowing what to say.

“No...” Renjun whispered.

His foil slipped from his hand, cluttering onto the floor with a clang that echoed around the hauntingly empty gym. It was metallic, final. But the silence that followed, was deafening.

vi. close enough to hurt

This had been one of the worst weeks of Renjun’s life. The guilt was eating him alive. You wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t even look at him and it was killing him. He wanted nothing more than to take your face in his hands and place kisses all over it until you smiled at him.

Your smile... He missed that.

The way your eyes crinkled at the sides and your shoulders lifted slightly when you laughed. Renjun loved being the reason behind your smile. It would instantly make his day to know that you were happy because of him. And now, you were crying because of him, and it broke him.

You knew Renjun wanted to talk to you. He wouldn’t come up to you unless you gave him some kind of sign that he could, so you acted as if he was dead to you. When he tried to make eye contact, you looked through him, and when he left those stupid muffins in your locker every morning, you threw them away.

You couldn’t believe you’d been so naive. You’d gotten so wrapped up in your idea of what you wanted to happen, that you hadn’t been able to see what was right in front of you. And you were given a sharp wake up call. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water over you when you heard what he said, shocking you out of your fantasy world and back into reality.

He said you meant nothing to him? Fine, then you’ll be nothing to him.

You’d even gone as far as to skip fencing practice for the past week. You just couldn’t face seeing him again, not yet at least. And you weren’t sure what you would say if he tried to talk to you. It currently took everything you had not to fall apart the second you saw him. You’d told your coach you’d hurt your wrist and gone out with Yuna and Winter.

Renjun thought he was going to cry when you didn’t show up for fencing. Apparently, you were injured but he knew that wasn’t true. He had to spend the session helping to coach the other fencers. Ironically, that was all he used to want. Now, every second of that practice was like torture.

“Are you going to fencing today?” Winter’s soft voice came from behind you.

You turned, sending a small nod her way. Both her and Yuna came up behind you, giving you a small group hug. They had barely left your side since it had all happened, and you couldn’t be more grateful for them.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” Yuna whispered.

“Me too.” You murmured dejectedly. “But I guess I needed to hear it. It’s better I know the truth about how he feels about me. I just... I just liked it better before it was better.”

You felt Winter’s hand gently rubbing your back and you took a shaky breath.

“Will you guys come with me to fencing?”

Both Yuna and Winter agreed without hesitation, knowing that you didn’t want to face Renjun alone.

“We can leave immediately after you’re done too.” Winter promised.

“Yeah, let’s have an excuse they can’t argue with. I’ll say I have the shits!” Yuna offered, her words prompting the first genuine laugh from you in a week.

“I love you guys.” You whispered as the three of you walked off to fencing together.

You weren’t sure what was going to happen when you saw him, but you weren’t going to let your guard down around him again.

Never again.

---

Renjun stood off to the side of the group of fencers, the instructions from his coach going in one ear and out the other. He didn’t have any energy to listen to the itinerary for today when all he could think about was how much he missed you standing by his side. He used to stand a little closer each practice, getting to the point your shoulders were almost touching. Now he stood alone, not wanting to be near anyone who wasn’t you.

“Y/n, glad to see you back.” His coach’s words finally broke through Renjun’s haze at the mention of your name.

His eyes shot up, seeing you greet the coach before walking into the changing room to get ready. Suddenly, Renjun forgot how to breathe. He didn’t even notice when the rest of the group dispersed into their pairs, too occupied by the thought of you, his mind running with all the things he wanted to say.

“Once she’s out here you two can carry on with your practice.” He vaguely registered what his coach told him, nodding slowly at his words.

His eyes shifted their gaze, moving to the stands where he knew Mark was sat. Mark had offered to come to Renjun’s fencing today, promising a friendly face. But what Renjun wasn’t expecting to see was Winter and Yuna taking seats next to him. Renjun guessed he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t bear to face fencing alone.

At that moment, you reappeared. Your helmet was in your hand, meaning that Renjun could clearly see the icy expression on your face. He couldn’t place the emotion though. It wasn’t anger or sadness, it was unreadable, as if all the time he had spent learning you had gone to waste. He was back at step one.

The three spectators watched as you stalked towards him, footsteps moving almost like a predator.

“She’s angry.” Yuna whispered.

“No. She’s hurt.” Winter corrected her. Neither of them expected Mark to chime in.

“I don’t blame her.” They both looked at him in shock, and he simply shrugged before he continued. “I don’t know why Renjun said what he said. He can’t seem to be able to admit to anyone that he’s head over heels in love with her, but we can all see it. He hasn’t been the same since they start fencing again.”

“I knew he felt the same. Something didn’t add up.” Yuna muttered, nudging Winter who nodded as Mark continued.

“Of course he does. He just struggles to say how he feels and, I don’t know how much my word will count for, but Renjun has been a wreck ever since that day. I haven’t seen him this hung up on anything before.”

Both girls looked at each other, sadness written all over their faces. You two had been so close to something good, just to have the rug pulled out from under your feet right before you got to enjoy it.

You stood in position, anchoring your feet securely in the ground as you focused your gaze on his foil. 

You looked formidable, like nothing could knock you over. But Renjun felt the opposite. He had barely been sleeping, every move he made was sluggish and his body was heavy with guilt. 

“Please just look at me.” He whispered, begging for some kind of sign that here was hope, that he hadn’t destroyed everything he had been dreaming of.

You didn’t reply, instead silently lifting your mask and pulling it over your face. Your hands were steady, and you were grateful for that. You weren’t going to let him see how fragile you felt around him.

He slowly lifted his own mask, covering his face with it. He didn’t want to fight you. Something was telling him this wasn’t going to end well.

“En Garde. Prêts? Allez!“

You lunged forward, your footwork faster and cleaner than Renjun had ever seen it. He barely had time to block, the impact sending shivers rippling up his arm.

“You look like you’re out for blood.” He joked weakly, trying to bring some kind of familiarity back between the two of you.

You didn’t respond, instead pulling back to attack again.

Renjun spent most of this fight on the defence. It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to attack you, he wasn’t given an opportunity to. You were like a whirlwind, throwing on lunge after another, winning point after point. Every strike and every counter made was an echo of the skills you’d learnt together, and Renjun could barely keep up.

Even in its violence, the fight was intimate. Memories of the time you’d spent together flashed through both of your heads. From teaching fencing to the kids, to winning the tournament, to Renjun asking you to consider joining fencing again this term, and even the failed science project from your childhoods. All of those scenes were now represented by the sound of your foils clashing, the harshness in the noise a painful reminder that the two of you were no longer on the same team.

Renjun heard his own words in his head, the lie that you meant nothing to him and Renjun wished he could reach in and physically pull that memory out so that he could stop reliving it. 

You were one point away from a win. You retook your position, holding for a second to catch your breath before resetting your stance.

“I’m sorry.” Renjun whispered, barely audible. He didn’t know if you even heard him, if you did you gave no sign.

Instead, you lunged sharply, going straight for the kill. Renjun tried to parry, but it was too late, your foil hit him straight in the chest, signalling your victory.

For the first time in your life, you had beaten Huang Renjun. And yet, somehow, it didn’t feel like winning.

You held your position for a heartbeat longer, breathing hard, your foil still pressed into him. He didn’t move. Didn’t breathe.

Then you stepped back, lowering your weapon as you lifted a hand to pull your mask off. For the first time in two weeks, you stared Renjun in the eyes, your expression once again unreadable to him as you held back the tears you knew were threatening to form.

Renjun pulled off his mask too, his face pale and his eyes wide, almost fearful. Not because he lost the match, but because he knew in that moment that he’d lost you. He could see what was gone. The warmth and trust that had been growing between you was a memory now. Only distance remained. Distance that he’d created. 

When you finally spoke, your voice was low, as if your devastating words were only for him to hear.

“There. I did what I came back to do. Now you don’t have to bother with me.”

You dropped your foil onto the strip, letting it clang against the floor as you turned away from him and walked back to the changing room. 

Renjun was frozen, stood exactly where you left him as, once again, he watched you disappear from his sight. He let his gaze drift, his eyes coming down to focus on your discarded foil, lying still on the floor, reminding him how all of this was his fault.

He moved slowly, taking almost cautious steps towards it, as if it would disappear if he approached too fast. He leant down, gently picking up your weapon and running his fingers over the handle. He heard the door open, and out you walked with Yuna and Winter by your side. He knew what you meant by dropping your foil like that.

You weren’t coming back.

---

While fencing wasn’t over, Renjun hadn’t left the changing room since you’d gone. He had gotten out of his uniform after his coach told him to take the rest of the session off, then he’d sat down on the bench he’d been on with Chenle and hadn’t been able to move since.

“You deserved that.” Mark’s honesty cut through him like a knife.

“I know.” Renjun muttered, feeling the bench dip slightly as the older boy sat down next to me. “What’s wrong with me Mark? Why did I say that about her?”

“I don’t know.” Mark smiled sadly at his friend. “I think sometimes you care so much you overcompensate.”

Renjun let out a dry laugh at that.

“Chenle was right.” He whispered. “I ruined everything because I couldn’t admit how I felt.”

“Then admit it. How do you feel?” Mark asked him. Renjun met his eyes, the sincerity in Mark’s gaze made him spill every thought that had been floating around his head for months.

“I really like this girl. I mean it. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. She’s all I think about. And I’m not exaggerating. I think about her every single day, and that started before we were on winter break. You know, I have to leave at least an extra fifteen minutes early every morning so I can get her breakfast because the cafe closest to me doesn’t sell blueberry muffins and those are her favourite. I’m not sleeping because I know I hurt her, and I don’t know how to make this up to her. I just want her to know how much she means to me.”

Mark sighed, shuffling in his seat slightly.

“Renjun, you’re still holding back. Trust me when I say, telling someone how you feel can be one of the most terrifying moments of your life. But that moment when you know for a fact they feel the same way, that’s one of the best. But you have to be able to say it.”

Renjun hands began to shake as he felt the tears form in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away. Mark was right. He had to say it out loud. He looked up at his friend again and, this time, poured his heart out in three words.

“I love her.”

Mark grinned, pushing his shoulder against Renjun’s.

“Yeah, you do.”

Renjun let out a deep breath, feeling as though a huge weight on his chest had suddenly been lifted. He had no idea how much of a relief it would be to finally say how he felt out loud.

“I have to fix this.” His voice was desperate, and Mark reached out a hand to grab Renjun by the shoulder.

“We will. We’ll figure something out. You’re not going to lose her. She’s your girl, right?” Mark grinned, and Renjun smiled at his words, nodding back.

He couldn’t let you go. You were his girl, and he was going to do everything in his power to show you how much he loved you. Renjun would climb any mountain if you wanted him to, swim through any ocean and fight any beast. Nothing was going to stop him from making this right.

---

You stood outside the doors to the sports hall, both Winter and Yuna by your side. Waiting for you inside was your coach. Apparently, he wanted to talk to you in person regarding the email you’d sent him telling him you were going to quit fencing.

“It’s one short conversation, then you’ll be free.” Winter reassured you.

You nodded, taking a deep breath before pushing them open and walking in.

At first the hall looked empty. You were confused until the lights flickered on and you saw a figure sat on the stands close to the door. They looked up at you and your whole body tensed.

Why was Renjun here?

He stood up at the sight of you and you noticed the way his hands were shaking slightly.

“Where’s coach?” You asked shortly.

“He’s not here.” Renjun told you, and you didn’t waste a second before turning on your heel and heading straight back towards the door.

“Y/n please! Just talk to me, I just want a chance to talk.”

You ignored his begging, grabbing the door and pulling hard, except it didn’t budge. You leaned in close, peering through the small gap and seeing an ice hockey stick placed between the door handles, effectively locking you in.

“What the hell?” You shouted to whoever was outside.

“Don’t get mad, I asked them for help.” Renjun admitting, taking a few tentative steps towards you.

“Yuna, Winter, I’m going to kill you. You’re going to hell for this.” You pounded on the door with your fist. “Let me out now!”

Yuna and Winter exchanged nervous looks on the other side of the door. As soon as they had gotten you in, Mark had appeared, jamming the door shut with his stick. They knew that the only way to keep you there was making sure you couldn’t leave. The three of them were waiting together, hoping and praying that their plan would pay off.

“Y/n? I just want to talk.” Renjun was close to you now, so close you could smell the scent of his cologne, and you hated how all your feeling came rushing back when you did.

“Talk?” You whirled around, jabbing him in the chest with a pointed finger. “You lost the right to ask me for anything.”

“I know. But I’m hoping you’ll just hear me out.” He lifted two foils, eye wide with hope.

“You want to fence? You’ve got to be kidding me.” You muttered, rolling your eyes at him. 

“That seems to be the way we talk best.” He sent you a hopeful smile as he held out your foil, and, against your better judgement, you took it from him.

“You get five minutes. Then I’m gone.” You caved, walking towards the strip and taking the starting position you were all too familiar with. 

“En Garde. Prêt. Allez.“ He murmured, and your blades met in a flash.

The sounds echoed around the empty hall, only stopping briefly when you scored a point, the tip of your blade meeting Renjun’s chest with gentle precision. You were careful not to touch him too hard. Even though the blades were rounded to prevent injury, neither of you were wearing your gear and no matter how mad you were at him, you didn’t want to hurt him.

You reset, playing game after game together and you scoring every single time.

“You’re not even trying.” You accused, frustration taking over you. With every advance you made, he only deflected it, never even attempting an attack of his own.

“I’m trying to keep you here.” He admitted, the honestly in his eyes making it difficult to look away from him.

“So what? You think that fixes everything?” You argued, dropping out of your fencing stance and facing him off as yourself instead.

“No. I don’t. But I can’t live this way, I can’t live with you thinking that’s how I feel about you.” Renjun knew this was his only chance. He couldn’t hold back this time, couldn’t let fear stop him. If he held back in a match the way he’d held back with you, he’d lose every time.

Some of the tension in your shoulders visibly shrank at his words. “You can’t start saying things like that now. It’s not fair.” Your voice wasn’t as harsh, the edged had been softened and Renjun knew he was breaking through. 

“I don’t care if I’m too late. I just need you to hear it.” He took a step forwards, relief flooding him when you didn’t instantly step away.

“I already heard how you feel about me Renjun.” Your voice may be softer, but you were still guarded, you still weren’t letting him in.

“No. You haven’t. I didn’t mean a word of that. I have never meant anything less than that.”

“Then why say it?” You exclaimed, the words echoing as your volume increased. Your arm lifted up to run your fingers through your hair, gripping it as you did.

“Because I was terrified!” Renjun’s voice was getting louder, matching yours. He let his foil slip through his fingers, dropping it to the floor along with his defences. “I was terrified of how much I cared about you. You’re all I think about, everything I do is for you. My every feeling is dictated by the look on your face. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t do anything without you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you. And I know sorry doesn’t fix it, but it’s the only place I can start.”

His words hung in the air, raw, vulnerable. You breathed heavily, searching his face for any hint that he wasn’t telling you the truth. But you found nothing. Renjun was stood there, baring his soul to you.

You took a small step back.

Panic flashed through Renjun’s features. He couldn’t lose you again, not when he still hadn’t said those words.

“Stay. Please stay. I have watched you walk away from me too many times over the last two weeks y/n. I can’t watch you go again. So stay. Fight me, argue with me, yell at me, anything! Just please, don’t leave me.” He was begging you at this point. His pride didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered, was you.

You stilled. You hadn’t even realised you had taken a step backwards. Instead, you kept your eyes on him. Renjun hadn’t looked away from you once. In his eyes you saw all that you had missed. All the love and affection that you held for him was gazing down upon you and you felt yourself crumbling underneath it.

“Y/n?” He stepped closer, only an arm’s length away.

“Yeah?” You breathed.

“I love you.”

There it was. The words he’d never been able to say. The few seconds before you responded were the longest of Renjun’s life. His heart was beating so hard he was sure it would have bruised his ribcage from the inside if that was possible.

You had tears in your eyes. Renjun’s confession shattered what was left of your resolve. He was here, offering his heart to you, and placing the power completely in your hands. You could fall back into him, finally telling him your feelings too, and trusting that he wouldn’t hurt you again. Or you could build your walls back up, and walk away.

It was an easy choice.

You dropped your foil and moved to close the space between the two of you, your hand gripping his shirt as his flew to your face as the two of you finally met in a passionate kiss.

It was as if life around you suddenly exploded. All the years of arguing and fencing that turned to friendship which turned to more came out in the kiss. You lost yourself in him, melting into his body as his hands instinctively moved down to your waist.

You pulled back slightly, releasing his shirt and feeling the way his grip on you tightened as you did. You smiled at that, bringing your hands back up to wind around his neck.

Renjun saw you smile, and it felt as though everything was right with the world. He leaned in, placing his forehead against yours and just breathed you in.

“I love you.” He whispered again, the words feeling so natural to say he hated that he’d hidden from them for so long.

“I love you too.” You confessed, your voice just as soft.

In that moment he knew, Mark was right. Nothing compares to learning the person you love, loves you back.

He squeezed his eyes shut, holding you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. Because you were.

Neither of you heard the door quietly open as Mark, Yuna and Winter all peeked into the room. They saw the two of you in your embrace, your foils crossed over each other on the floor and silently left again, leaving you to your moment.

“Be mine?” Renjun asked, finally opening his eyes to look at you again.

“Always.” You promised, gaze full of sincerity.

He couldn’t stop the huge smile from breaking out across his face at your response. This was all he had wanted for months, and now he had you, he wasn’t going to let anything take you away.

Renjun leaned in the kiss you again. He kissed you all over your face until you were giggling and pushing him away. You got your hands on his chest to create a bit of distance, yet he caught you hand in his as he stepped back.

“Are you up for dinner?” He proposed. “My treat of course.”

You smiled at him, interlocking your fingers.

“Sounds perfect.”

He lifted your hand and placed another kiss on the back of it. Together you walked towards the door, Renjun holding it open for you and the two of you wandered off into the night.

What was once combat had become so much more. It had become harmony, and partnership. You two were a perfect match. Two sides of the same coin. And nothing could come between you.

vii. crap, this is love isn’t it?

A laugh escaped you as Renjun pulled you up the grand staircase, never breaking stride as he reached what he was looking for. He let go of you to pull down the door handle, pushing it open to reveal a beautiful balcony. 

Hanging lights and flowers decorated the small space and it was one of the most beautiful things you had ever seen.

Renjun stood in the middle, smiling at your wondrous expression.

“I found this last time I came. And I knew I wanted to show it to someone, back then I just didn’t know who.” He held out a hand to you, one you gladly accepted. “As soon as we won those tickets, I imagined myself bringing you here.”

He pulled you in, keeping on hand in yours and the other on your waist as the two of you gently began to sway.

“I’m glad you brought me.” You whispered, leaning your head onto his shoulder.

He turned and placed a gentle kiss on the side of your head. The fencing ball was in full swing downstairs, but the moment you had said you wanted some fresh air Renjun had leapt at the chance. He had cherished every single day he had with you ever since you’d promised to be his. Every morning you were met with breakfast, he walked with you between classes, and he cheered louder than anyone else when you won a fencing match.

“There’s one thing I haven’t quite figured out.” You murmured.

Renjun hummed in response, waiting for your question.

“Back when you used to leave breakfast in my locker, how did you know the combination?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Ahhhh.” Renjun laughed sheepishly. “Well, when we were younger your fencing locker combination was always your birthday, so I just tried that. That’s not a good password anyway, you should change it.”

“I have changed it.” You told him, grinning at the way his head tilted in confusion at you. “It’s now your birthday.”

Renjun didn’t know how he got so lucky. He looked at you, dancing with him under the soft yellow nights and the full moon, looking like a goddess in your black dress and you looked at him as if he hung all the stars in the sky.

Renjun truly believe that you were made for him.

He spun you around, watching as the light caught on the silver details on your dress as he did. And when he pulled you back in, he leaned in to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.

There was no music up here, no swords, just you and Renjun dancing together, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

A small gust of wind blew a piece of hair into your face. Renjun released your waist for a second to tuck it gently back behind your ear.

“Looking out for me are you?” You teased him, gently squeezing his hand in yours.

“I’m your partner.” He whispered. “It’s an occupational hazard.”

Love can either send you to heaven or burn you alive. And god, you danced straight into the fire of hell and back together. The two of you paused, standing close to each other in the silence, foreheads touching as you breathed in the second of quietness that was overshadowed by the presence of the person you loved. The moon shone down on you, casting you in an angelic glow, just as Renjun favourite words left his lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” You whispered back, smiling at him.

He shook his head, leaning forwards and resting his forehead on yours.

“That’s not possible.”

“Renjun,” you gasp, your voice trembling, “what are you doing? Let me go!”

He tilts his head slightly, as though considering your words. “You don’t understand,” he murmurs, his tone almost apologetic. “You’re so close to perfection. So close to being what I always knew you could be.”

The words send a chill through you. “What are you talking about? Renjun, this isn’t you! Please, you’re scaring me!”

His lips form a sad smile, but his hands remain steady as he sets the doll down on a nearby tray. The tray rattles softly, revealing more tools—scissors, needles, thread, and vials of strange liquids.

“I know you’re scared,” he says, stepping closer. “But this is for your own good. For our good. I’m going to make sure you’re... safe. Perfect.”

You thrash against the straps, desperate to break free, but they hold firm. “Renjun, stop! Whatever you’re planning, you don’t have to do this! Please, just let me go!”

His expression darkens, and for a moment, his hand hesitates. “I wish you wouldn’t struggle,” he whispers, leaning in close. You can feel his breath against your cheek, warm and steady, a cruel contrast to your racing heart. “It’ll only hurt more if you do.”

He raises the scalpel, the blade catching the dim light. It trembles slightly in his grip as though he’s fighting some internal battle. You try to scream, but the sound only echoes.

“I’ll be gentle,” he promises, his voice breaking slightly. “You won’t feel a thing, I swear.”

Tears blur your vision as you see the blade descending, inching closer to your arm. Every nerve in your body screams for escape, for salvation, but the straps hold you immobile.

“Renjun, please—”

The scalpel presses against your skin, the cold, sharp edge biting lightly—

You wake with a strangled cry. Sweat clings to your skin, and the room around you is dark and silent. Your hands tremble as you clutch the sheets, trying to ground yourself, but the phantom sensation of the blade lingers, your skin prickling where it had hovered in the dream.

Fuck.

Turning your head, you reach out instinctively to the other side of the bed… but it’s empty. Renjun’s side is cold, the covers are neatly arranged.

“Renjun?” you call softly, your voice hoarse.

Silence.

You shake your head, trying to push away the lingering dread. He must have gotten up early. Maybe he’s in the kitchen or the bathroom. You force yourself to lie back down, but your heart refuses to slow. The dream continues to play at the back of your mind

Eventually you get up and head for the kitchen. You don’t see Renjun anywhere, so you assume he’s out. But it doesn’t cease your worries. 

You hum softly to yourself as you pour batter into a pan, the comforting sizzle of pancakes mingling with the aroma of fresh coffee. For a moment, the night’s haunting dream feels like a distant memory.

But then, a new smell hits you—a sharp, metallic tang that cuts through the warmth of breakfast like a knife. It smells like blood almost…? You wrinkle your nose and glance toward the stove, assuming something might be burning.

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor freezes you mid-motion.

You turn slowly, spatula clutched tightly in your hand, and nearly drop it when your eyes land on the figure seated at the table.

“Yizhuo?” The name escapes your lips in a whisper, barely audible over the pounding of your heart.

She sits perfectly still, her head tilted slightly as she watches you. Her once-lively features are now sunken and pale, a sickly greenish tint spreading across her skin. Her hair hangs in limp, tangled strands around her shoulders, and her clothes are torn and stained with dark, crusted blotches.

Most unsettling are her eyes, clouded and milky, yet piercing. They lock onto yours with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine.

“Good morning,” she says softly, looking at you expectantly.

You stagger back, pressing yourself against the counter. “This… This isn’t real,” you stammer. “You… You’ve been missing for weeks. You—”

“I’m dead.” Her cracked lips curve into a faint smile. “Or at least, I should be.”

The words hang heavy in the air. Your knees threaten to buckle, but you cling to the counter for support, the spatula still trembling in your grip.

“What… What’s going on? How are you here?” you demand, your voice breaking.

Yizhuo leans forward slightly, her movements slow and deliberate. “I came to warn you.”

“Warn me?” Your pulse quickens, your thoughts spinning. “Warn me about what?”

“Renjun,” she says, her tone hardening. Her eyes narrow, and for a moment, her frail demeanor is overshadowed by something fierce. “Your little boyfriend. He’s dangerous. You need to leave him before it’s too late.”

You shake your head, trying to process her words. “Renjun? No, that’s not possible. He wouldn’t—he couldn’t—”

She cuts you off with a dry laugh, “That’s what I thought too. But look at me now.” She gestures to herself, her decayed hands trembling as she does. “He took me. He experimented on me. He killed me.”

The room seems to spin as her words sink in. “No,” you whisper, more to yourself than to her. “That can’t be true. He—he loves me.”

"So much he’ll destroy you." she says, her voice filled with pity. "He’s obsessed with control, with perfection. He sees you as… as something to be fixed, something to be preserved.”

Your throat tightens. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I don’t want the same thing to happen to you,” Yizhuo replies, her expression grim. She leans in closer, her scent—a nauseating blend of rot and chemicals—assaulting your senses. “He’s planning to do the same to you. I overheard him. You need to run. Now.”

The words strike like a thunderclap, but you can’t move, can’t speak. Yizhuo’s cloudy eyes search yours, pleading.

“You don’t have much time,” she whispers, her voice trembling. “Get out before it’s too late.”

Before you can respond, she rises from the chair, her movements stiff and unnatural. She glances back at you one last time, her expression a mix of sorrow and urgency. Then, without another word, she walks out of the kitchen, her footsteps silent.

You’re left standing there, the spatula still in your hand, the pancakes burning on the stove behind you.

Before you can make sense of anything, the front door clicks open again.

“Morning,” Renjun’s familiar voice calls out. The sound startles you, and you spin around, heart still racing.

He steps into the kitchen, his hair slightly tousled from the cold morning air. He looks every bit like the Renjun you know: calm, collected, and effortlessly handsome in his cozy sweater and jeans. A faint smile touches his lips as he sees you, though his brows knit together at your pale face.

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he says lightly, stepping closer.

You swallow hard, your mind screaming at you to say something about Yizhuo, but the sight of him steadies your nerves just enough to keep the words locked up in your throat.

“I—I had a bad dream,” you finally stammer. “And you weren’t in bed. Where did you go?”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t sleep. The air felt stuffy, so I went out for a walk to clear my head.” He gestures toward the front door. “It’s freezing out there, by the way. You’re lucky you stayed in.”

You blink at him, searching his face for any signs of deception, but he looks so... ordinary. So sincere.

“You should’ve told me,” you murmur, voice tinged with worry.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” he replies softly, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face. “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

The tenderness in his gesture makes your chest ache.

“It wasn’t just the walk,” you admit, your voice shaky. “The dream I had… It was awful. You—you were doing something horrible to me. It felt so real, Renjun.”

His eyes widen slightly, then soften with concern. “Hey,” he murmurs, pulling you into his arms. His embrace is warm, firm, and familiar. “It was just a dream. Nothing more, okay? I would never hurt you.”

You hesitate, the memory of Yizhuo’s eyes and voice flashing through your mind again. But Renjun’s voice is so steady, so reassuring.

“I know,” you whisper, leaning into him. “It just felt so vivid. Like it wasn’t just a dream...”

He pulls back slightly to meet your eyes, his hands still resting on your arms. “Dreams can mess with your head,” he says gently. “Especially when you’re stressed or overtired. You’ve been working too hard lately.”

“I guess,” you mumble.

“Come here.” He leads you to the table, where the two of you sit down. “Forget about breakfast for a bit. Just breathe, okay? I’m here now.”

You nod, allowing yourself to relax. Renjun’s presence feels grounding, and for a moment, the lingering dread from the morning fades.

Still, the faint smell of something metallic lingers in the air, and you can’t help but glance at the chair Yizhuo had been sitting in. It’s empty now, no sign of her ever being there.

Renjun follows your gaze. “You okay?” he asks, tilting his head.

“Yeah,” you say quickly, forcing a smile. “I’m fine.”

And for the rest of the morning, everything feels normal again. Renjun jokes with you as he helps clean up the kitchen, his laughter filling the space and making it feel warm and alive. By the time he heads to the bathroom to shower, you’ve almost convinced yourself that Yizhuo’s appearance had been nothing more than a vivid hallucination.

It wasn’t real, you tell yourself for the hundredth time. It couldn’t have been.

Stress. Fatigue. That’s all it was. It has to be.

Still, the unease gnaws at you as the day drags on. Renjun spends most of the afternoon in his study, working on something he vaguely describes as “art.” You don’t press him—he’s always been private about his projects, and it’s not unusual for him to disappear for hours into his world of creativity. He’s shown you some portraits he’s done. That alone was enough to convince you then, but maybe not now.

As the sun begins to dip below the horizon, you decide you need some air.

The backyard feels oddly silent as you step outside, the chill of the evening biting at your skin. The garden Renjun painstakingly tends to is perfectly cared for, each flower bed neat and orderly. But something feels... off. You can’t place it at first, but the further you walk, the heavier the air feels.

And then you see her.

A figure sits near the edge of the garden, half-hidden by the shadows of the trees. At first, you think it’s a trick of the fading light, but as you approach, your stomach turns.

Her head lifts slowly as she senses your presence. Her skin is mottled and patchy, as though poorly stitched together, and her hair hangs in brittle, uneven clumps. One of her eyes is glassy and lifeless, while the other stares at you with unsettling clarity.

“Hello,” she says, her voice low and raspy.

Your instincts scream at you to run, but your feet remain rooted to the spot. “Hi,” you manage to reply, your voice barely audible.

“You’re his new girlfriend, aren’t you?” she asks, tilting her head.

You swallow hard. “What do you mean?”

She chuckles softly, the sound more hollow than amused. “He always picks the pretty ones. Says they’re easier to perfect.”

The words send a chill racing through you. “You know Renjun?”

“Better than I’d like,” she replies, leaning forward slightly. Her movements are stiff, as though her body doesn’t quite obey her. 

Your chest tightens. “What happened?”

She lets out a bitter laugh. “What always happens. He gets bored, or paranoid, or both. Decides you need fixing. Then you end up like me.” She gestures to herself, her fingers trembling. “A mistake he doesn’t know how to get rid of.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. “You’re one of his... experiments?”

“Guess you could call it that.” Her eye narrows, and for a moment, you swear you see a flicker of pity in her expression. “But you don’t have to end up like me. You still have a chance to get out.”

Your mind races, every fiber of your being screaming that this can’t be true. But the evidence sits right in front of you, her broken body a chilling testament to something you don’t want to believe.

“I... I don’t understand,” you whisper, your voice trembling.

“You will,” she says simply, her tone heavy with finality. “Just don’t wait too long. He doesn’t like it when his plans get interrupted.”

Before you can respond, she struggles to her feet, her movements jerky and unnatural. She stumbles into the trees, disappearing into the shadows before you can even think to follow.

You stand there for what feels like an eternity, your heart pounding in your chest. When you finally gather the courage to move, you hurry back into the house, locking the door behind you.

Renjun finds you later that evening, curled up on the couch with a book you haven’t read a single word of. “You okay?” he asks, sitting down beside you.

You force a smile, shaking your head. “Just tired,” you reply, your voice strained.

He presses a soft kiss to your temple, and though his touch is warm, it does little to chase away the cold dread that has settled deep in your bones.

You say nothing about the woman in the garden.

The days that follow are a blur of unease and doubt. Renjun grows more distant, his once-gentle demeanor laced with a nervous edge. You catch him watching you when he thinks you’re not looking, his eyes dark and searching, as though trying to read your thoughts.

You tell yourself it’s nothing—just paranoia creeping in after Yizhuo and the woman in the garden. But the house feels different now, like something unseen is watching, waiting.

One night, unable to sleep, you wander through the house, your footsteps muffled against the hardwood floors. Renjun had disappeared into his study hours ago, and you haven’t seen him since. Curiosity gnaws at you, and before you can talk yourself out of it, you find yourself standing at the door to the basement.

It’s unlocked.

The air grows colder as you descend the narrow stairs, the faint scent of mothballs and chemicals prickling your nose. 

Your breath catches as you reach the bottom. The room is cluttered with tools and shelves of strange, unrecognizable objects, but your eyes are drawn to the center of the room where a series of lifelike dolls are displayed.

At least, you think they’re dolls at first.

They’re posed on stands, dressed in fine clothing, their glassy eyes staring blankly into the room. But as you move closer, your stomach churns. Their skin isn’t porcelain—it’s something else. Something real. 

Your fingers tremble as you reach out to touch one of them but stop short when a voice behind you speaks.

“You shouldn’t be down here.”

You whirl around, heart racing, to find a young man leaning against the far wall. His hair is dark and neatly styled, his posture relaxed, but there’s something unsettling about the way he looks at you.

“Who are you?” you demand, backing away slightly.

“Jeno,” he says casually, pushing off the wall and taking a step closer. “Nice to meet you.”

You glance at the stairs, calculating your chances of escape, but something in his expression stops you. It’s almost amused, like he knows something you don’t.

“Renjun doesn’t like it when people snoop,” Jeno continues, his tone conversational. “He gets... upset.”

“How do you know Renjun?” you ask, your voice trembling.

He smiles faintly, his eyes flicking to the dolls behind you. “Let’s just say we go way back.”

There’s something about the way he says it that makes your skin crawl. “What are you doing here?”

“Same thing you are,” he says cryptically. “Looking for answers.”

Before you can respond, Jeno steps forward—and walks straight through one of the shelves. 

What the fuck.

Your breath catches in your throat as you watch his figure shimmer faintly, like heat waves rising from asphalt. He turns to look at you, his expression unreadable.

“You should leave,” he says softly. “Before it’s too late.”

And just like that, he vanishes, fading into the wall as though he were never there.

You’re left standing in the basement, your heart pounding and your mind racing. The dolls’ lifeless eyes seem to follow you as you back away, your legs shaking with every step.

When you finally make it back to the main floor, Renjun is waiting for you in the living room.

“What were you doing in the basement?” he asks, his voice tight.

You freeze, your mind scrambling for an answer. “I—”

“You know you’re not supposed to go down there,” he says, cutting you off. His tone is calm, but his eyes are sharp, his jaw clenched.

“I was just looking for something,” you lie, trying to keep your voice steady. “I couldn’t sleep.”

He studies you for a moment, then sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You should’ve told me. There’s nothing down there for you.”

You nod, forcing a smile. “Sorry. It won’t happen again.”

But as Renjun pulls you into a half-hearted hug, you can feel the tension in his body. His fingers linger on your back a little too long, as though trying to keep you from slipping away.

You say nothing about the dolls. Or the man named Jeno.

But deep down, you know you’ve stepped into something you can’t ignore anymore.

Renjun’s behavior grows more unpredictable with each passing day. His once gentle nature gives way to sudden bursts of tension: slamming doors, muttering under his breath, pacing the house at odd hours. You try to ignore it, to chalk it up to stress or exhaustion, but the warning signs are impossible to dismiss.

One evening, after he disappears into the basement again without a word, you decide you can’t wait any longer. Whatever he’s hiding down there, you need to know.

The basement feels colder than before, the air heavy with the scent of chemicals and something else—something rancid. The dolls remain in their haunting poses, their glassy eyes fixed on nothing and everything at once. You can’t shake the feeling that they’re watching you.

You move quickly, rifling through the cluttered workbench. Papers covered in scrawled notes, jars of unidentifiable substances, and tools you can’t even name. Your hand trembles as you lift a folder marked with your name.

Before you can open it, a voice cuts through the silence.

“What are you doing?”

You freeze, the folder slipping from your hands. Renjun stands at the base of the stairs, his face eerily calm, though his eyes burn with an intensity that makes your blood run cold.

“I—I was just—” you stammer, stepping back instinctively.

“You shouldn’t have come down here,” he says, his tone soft but firm. He takes a step closer, his hand hidden behind his back. “I trusted you.”

You swallow hard, your heart pounding in your chest. “Renjun, what is all this? What are you doing down here?”

He doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he steps fully into the room, revealing the syringe in his hand. The clear liquid inside catches the light, its purpose unknown but unmistakably sinister.

“I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this,” he murmurs, almost regretfully. “I thought I could fix everything without hurting you. But you had to go and make things difficult.”

“Renjun, please,” you say, your voice shaking. “Whatever this is, we can talk about it. You don’t have to—”

“You don’t understand,” he interrupts, his voice cracking. “I’m doing this for you. For everyone. You don’t know what you are, what you’re capable of.”

He lunges before you can react, the syringe glinting as he closes the distance between you. You scream, twisting and flailing, but he’s faster, stronger than you expect. The needle sinks into your neck, and the icy burn of the liquid spreads through your veins.

The last thing you hear before the world fades to black is Renjun’s trembling voice.

“I’m so sorry.”

When you wake, the cold metal beneath you is the first thing you notice. Your body feels heavy, unresponsive, as though the drug hasn’t entirely worn off. The dim light above casts shadows across the room, and as your vision clears, you see him.

Renjun stands over you, his face pale and drawn, yet his hands move with steady precision. Tools are laid out neatly beside him, glinting in the faint light.

“Renjun?” you whisper, your voice weak and hoarse.

He startles slightly, his gaze snapping to yours. For a moment, his expression softens, a flicker of guilt crossing his face. But it vanishes as quickly as it appeared.

“You’re awake,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “I wasn’t expecting that yet.”

“What... what are you doing?” you ask, panic rising in your chest.

He sighs, his hands pausing as he picks up a scalpel. “I’m saving you,” he says simply, his tone matter-of-fact. “You won’t feel a thing, I promise. When this is over, you’ll be perfect. No one will ever be able to hurt you again.”

“Renjun, stop!” you scream, thrashing against the straps that hold you down. “Please, you don’t have to do this!”

His eyes glisten with unshed tears as he shakes his head. “I don’t have a choice,” he whispers. “You’re dangerous, even if you don’t know it. I’ve seen what you’ll become if I don’t stop it from happening now.”

He leans closer, the scalpel trembling slightly in his hand. “But it’s okay,” he continues, his voice cracking. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll love you just the same. You’ll see. You’ll understand one day.”

Tears blur your vision as you struggle harder, the straps biting into your skin. “Renjun, please! I love you! Don’t do this!”

His hand falters for a moment, the scalpel hovering just above your skin. “I love you too,” he says, his voice breaking. “That’s why I have to do this.”

The sharp edge glints as it lowers toward you, and your screams echo through the basement, mixing with Renjun’s whispered apologies.

Your body trembles against the restraints, your heart racing as Renjun’s scalpel hovers closer to your skin. Desperation fuels you, and you yank against the straps with everything you have. The leather digs into your wrists, cutting into your skin, but you don’t stop.

“Stop struggling,” Renjun says softly, his voice almost pleading. “You’ll only hurt yourself.”

But you don’t listen. Instead, you twist your arm as hard as you can, feeling the strap loosen just slightly. The metal table creaks beneath your movements, and the scalpel in his hand wavers.

“Please,” he whispers, his voice cracking. “Don’t make this harder for me.”

With a surge of adrenaline, your wrist finally slips free, the leather snapping loose. You lunge forward, catching him off guard. His eyes widen in shock as you grab at the tools on the tray beside you, your fingers fumbling for anything sharp.

“Stop!” he shouts, dropping the scalpel to grab your arm. His grip is strong, but your determination is stronger.

You manage to grab a pair of forceps and swing them wildly, catching him across the face. He cries out, staggering backward and clutching his cheek, blood seeping between his fingers.

“You don’t understand!” he yells, his voice raw with emotion. “I’m trying to save you!”

But you don’t stop. You twist your body, freeing your other arm, and kick out with your legs, knocking the tray of tools to the floor. The clang of metal echoes in the room as you grab the scalpel he dropped.

Renjun lunges at you, his hands outstretched, but you roll off the table just in time. Your knees buckle as you hit the floor, but you push yourself up, the scalpel clutched tightly in your shaking hand.

“Please,” he says again, his voice desperate now. “You don’t know what you’re doing!”

You scream, charging at him with the scalpel. He grabs your wrist, the two of you grappling for control. His strength is terrifying, and for a moment, you think you’ll lose.

“You’re not the person I fell in love with!” you cry, tears streaming down your face.

“I am!” he shouts, his eyes wild. “I’m doing this because I love you!”

The scalpel slips in your hand, slicing your palm, but you don’t let go. With a sudden burst of strength, you shove him backward. He stumbles, tripping over the tray of tools and falling to the floor.

Before he can get up, you’re on him, pinning him down. The scalpel shakes in your hand as you press it against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice breaking.

He looks up at you, his eyes wide with disbelief. “No,” he breathes. “You don’t have to—”

But you do.

With a scream, you drive the scalpel into his chest. Blood blooms beneath the blade, spreading across his shirt. His body jerks, his hands clawing weakly at yours, but his strength is fading fast.

His lips part, as if to say something, but no sound comes out. His eyes, once so full of love, now stare up at you in a mix of pain and betrayal.

You pull the scalpel out and stab him again, and again, each strike accompanied by a choked sob.

When it’s over, you collapse beside him, your hands trembling and covered in blood. The room is silent except for the sound of your ragged breathing.

Renjun lies motionless, his face pale and his body still. The pool of blood beneath him grows larger, seeping into the cracks of the cold basement floor.

For a long moment, you can’t move, can’t think. All you can do is stare at his lifeless form, the weight of what you’ve done crashing down on you.

Then, slowly, you drag yourself to your feet, your legs weak and unsteady. You wipe your bloodied hands on your shirt, your breaths coming in shallow gasps.

But as you turn to leave, something glimmers in the corner of your eye. A reflection in the glassy eyes of one of the dolls, watching you, silent and unblinking.

You stagger up the basement stairs, your mind reeling, Renjun’s blood still warm on your hands. The house feels eerily silent now, the weight of what you’ve done pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket.

You sink onto the couch, trembling, trying to steady your breathing. The nightmare is over—or so you tell yourself. Yet, deep inside, a strange calm begins to settle over you, and with it, clarity. 

“I did it,” you whisper, almost to yourself. “It’s over.”

“Not quite,” a familiar voice cuts through the quiet.

You whirl around to see Ning Yizhuo standing in the doorway. She looks far less ghastly now, her skin no longer pallid and her cloudy eyes replaced with sharp, piercing ones. She steps into the room with an unsettling grace, her lips curling into a sly smile.

“Oh fuck you.” you gasp, your voice seemingly becoming annoyed. “I told you I could handle it.”

“Did you really think you could keep me out of this?” she asks, tilting her head. “You’ve always had a flair for the dramatic, but even I didn’t think you’d drag it out this long.”

“You know I wouldn’t let you die.” you counter back.

“Oh, come on,” Yizhuo says, her tone teasing. “You didn’t even know I was there!”

For odd as the situation was, this casual conversation seemed too strange for someone who had just had a traumatic encounter. 

But you remembered it all. 

The reason why you were here in the first place. 

The spellwork, the rituals, the whispers of your coven as you planned everything together. Renjun—brilliant, dangerous, utterly unhinged—had been the perfect candidate to father the next generation of your powerful bloodline. His twisted mind, his obsession with creation, his unparalleled intellect—they were irresistible.

But he’d caught on, hadn’t he? His jealousy of Yizhuo, his paranoia, the experiments. He’d discovered the truth about who you were, what you were, and had convinced himself that you were a threat that needed to be eliminated.

“You were supposed to bring him to heel,” Yizhuo says, crossing her arms. “But instead, you let him spiral. Do you know how much work it was for me to survive after what he did to me?”

“I didn’t plan for this,” you mutter, your voice hollow.

“No,” Yizhuo replies sharply. “You didn’t. You got too attached. Like you always do. But you still got the job done, didn’t you?”

You glance down at your hands, still stained with Renjun’s blood, and a strange sense of satisfaction wells up within you. Despite the chaos, despite the loss of control, the end result remains the same.

Yizhuo steps closer, crouching down in front of you. “He was right about one thing,” she says, her voice soft now. “You are dangerous. But that’s exactly why this worked. You’re stronger now, more focused. And with him out of the way, there’s nothing stopping us.”

You look up at her, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. The weight on your chest lifts, replaced by a dark, intoxicating sense of purpose.

“He was brilliant,” you say quietly, almost wistfully. “But he underestimated me.”

“They always do,” Yizhuo replies, standing and extending a hand to you. “Come on. We have work to do. The coven’s waiting.”

You take her hand and rise to your feet, the tension in your body melting away as the truth of who you are settles over you like a comforting shroud.

As you leave the house together, you cast one last glance back at the basement door. The ghost of a smile plays on your lips as you whisper under your breath, “Thank you, Renjun. You were perfect.”

The door creaks shut behind you, and the house falls silent once more, now a graveyard for twisted dreams and dark beginnings.

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